All Comments on 'Lost Bloodlines Ch. 10'

I liked this storyline but it's getting extremely pedantic. Just not a fan of politics and this is heavily bent that way...I couldn't make it past page 4, even skipping ahead to the gratuitous sex in Hell. Wish you luck but I'm unfollowing - I won't give it a rating as I didn't finish it and that would be unfair. Pity, this was shaping up well.

Damn, this story gets interesting every chapter. I'm really excited to see how Lilith will turn out like and all her children look nice... Thank you for the chapter.

Love the depth this story has, intrigued to see where it goes next! Broadly very well written, I really love all the protagonists, and the characters you've created

Was quite a difficult read this chapter, partly because of the subject matter, which is a good thing for a story I think, but also because of the sheer number of characters, as well as factions both internal to Gomorrah, and more widely with the seats, and I found that a little overwhelming and difficult to follow.

Can't wait to see where things go, I imagine I'll find things a bit easier to keep track of the more we're exposed to the important ones, so keep it up!

One of the author's main concerns was the sheer number of name present in this (two part) chapter. Most of them will likely not be recurring too frequently, though the faction leaders themselves are probably good to note. If, for some reason, you're worried that you won't recall all the names, it shouldn't be too big of an issue.

Gods I struggle to wait for the new chapters for this I need more

Having gone out on a limb for heavy themes in my own writing, you have my sympathy. The scene -as depicted- doesn't rub me the wrong way, but there is a bit of a tonal disconnect between the end of Lilith's POV and Cyri finding her stumbling shell-shocked through the hall—though given your track record, I wonder if it's implying unseen events after Asmodea took her out of the pocket space. Either way, the aftermath communicates the gravity while defying gratuity—and indeed underscores the stakes. As much as the Demon Queen Formerly Known as Charles Finch may have wished she could withdraw to her (ex-)mortal circle and ride it all out at a distance, as per Elena's counsel in Chapter 8, this episode raises an important question as to how much of Lilith's original authority stemmed from dominating would-be usurpers, in bed or otherwise. (Belial certainly has a jump start on neutering Paul.) "In the game of bones, it's screw or be screwed."

As a card-carrying Family Values Enjoyer, I want to spotlight Aym: far too many stories play fast and loose with the incest theme, so I'm always attentive to writers that try to actually -do- something with it. Blue-and-orange morality was a given for Hell, but in that moment the twinning of the most sacred sentiment with the most profane act between a mother and her child, essentially as therapy, hit deep. Assuming Paimon isn't playing the stereotypical vizier, it's comforting to know not -all- of Lilith's brood are conditional in their affections.

Similar shout-out to Furcas: I'm not sure anyone ever imagined literal demons could get PTSD.

Echoing (and inverting) a previous anon comment, my issue is less the volume of characters than keeping them all visualized. Even within the harem, physical descriptions are provided at the start, but rarely revisited in detail; for characters like Berith, who feature intermittently with whole chapters between, their appearance can become blurry. Assuming it can be worked naturally into the text, casual refreshers would help make 'em stick.

How dare you make me cry like this! Lol I love your writing

I was not happy with this 2-part chapter. I hope that Victoria tells her what happened soon to her friends. I hope she exacts her revenge on her children very soon.

I need more, where's the next chappy

Brutal honesty? After 9 great chapters this one was not built right IMHO. I'm all for a climax building "all is lost" chapter, hell I've read entire books in trilogies which were tense shit shows before the hero triumphs. But this wasn't quite executed right - i fear it will turn off a lot of readers. Rape was not welcome or expected, and its getting tiresome and hard to believe how impotent and stupid so many of the characters are suddenly behaving. And get them some mobile phones, not plausible that it wouldn't have been their first order of business when out of the prison camp. My advice: step back from the pages and double check the high altitude plot craft to make sure characters are behaving consistently, and following plausible growth trajectories. I very much could not believe charles would have followed the demons to go get raped. Too predictable, and very unenjoyable for any readers not into rape scenes.

I disagree with the comments before me. It was very believable that she would follow the demons and get raped. She's a fish out of water and has been shown to be really careless in the past and just relying on her powers to get by.

A subject matter being unenjoyable for some doesn't mean it wasn't done well. In this respect it shows that although she's being put on a pedestal she's completely out of her depth without her friends to support her.

Holy shit what a story you write, that was a brutal lesson for the New Lilith. Mother needs to spank her children.

I do hope you find your way back to writing more chapters soon. If it requires a rewrite of the last entry, so be it.

I hope you're not done with this story

Since I’m seeing a few comments about it, I’d like to assure y’all that Lost Bloodlines is not abandoned. I needed a bit of hiatus from the story and I’ve been working on a side project, but I will be returning to Lilith’s tale before too long. Sorry for the lengthy wait!

Ohhhh! You actually scared me. Thank you for replying and easing my anxiety. Now that I now there'll be a next chapter I can patiently wait.

Fucking disturbing and i wish i never started now

I think that the story as a whole is great and I am ravenously awaiting more of it, but I agree with a lot of comments here that lilith's decision to drink the wine she was offered seems out of character. This might just be me taking my knowledge of stories and applying it to the main character, but it was waaaay too obvious that the wine was drugged. I think it makes perfect sense for Lilith to follow the other demons, but drinking the wine was a bit too much.

Can we get a chapy before Christmas. Pleaseeeee...

Happy new year... Any news regarding lost bloodline?

great story and well written - still nothing about the 24h committment for Lilith + Lucifer. This little droug-rape treachery would be exactly what to expect from demons und Hell, as well as Luzifer for an old and neutral ruler (or rather in retirement). Still Finch seems like a little bit dump pussy - not an adult man. His cockteasing "love" as long they don't have sex, letting himself played by others and bringing himself in situations where he can't help himself out as well as getting drugged - all things, that normally are learned while being an teenager...

A shame that the story is not finished. Excelent, 5 stars.

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