All Comments on 'Lost Girl'

? Where was the sci-fi? It seems like the guy roofied her.

Is this a part 1 ? Because it completely lost me.

Do I tell the confused, or let them figure it out?

The latter, I think. I believe they missed the hook.

Great story! Is there more?

I don't understand where this story is going. I expect a second chapter to explain.

I am not sure of the point. Sorry, but a 750 word story still has a beginning, middle, and an end. This doesn't even get to a middle.

Apologies to all who were confused.

This was more of an experiment, inspired by a post to a message board the other day that made no sense to any of us.

So it was an attempt in a compact format to tell a much bigger story that the reader would need to put together through the details. Once you 'see' it at the end, you're meant to reread it and enjoy it as much, if not more, than the first time, as by then it will be quite obvious what's happened to her.

I won't spoil it for those who want to piece it together for themselves, but:

The names of places and streets are VERY specific. The precinct is in midtown Manhattan, not far from Times Square. Where's the pub?

The time showing on the psychologist's phone elicits a reaction from the girl. When did she say she left the pub?

The main character's last name is extraordinarily important (and recognizable to many due to the famous story in which her ancestor appears)

It's in the 'fantasy/sci fi' section and there's no sci fi element, so the only explanation for her circumstance must have a fantastical element for it to all make sense.

I hope that helps many of you get full value.

Fun, but a bit obscure. For the readers unacquainted with SF, and especially Fantasy, the fae clues will go right over their heads. Definitely needs more than 750 words to get the point across to the average Literotica reader. Brave attempt, but too restricted by your (artificial) word limit. Expand it to a decent length and you'll have a winner.

Rather brilliant! The location names and time difference might make it easier for a Brit to catch on, but her last name is a dead giveaway. Went back and reread it almost immediately. Made it even better knowing the secret the second time around!

!!!!! Loved it !!!!!

He's Peter Pan.

@Versatek I see what you did there. MMLOL

Yeah, what LitCrit said. Sorry, I'm too uninformed to make sense of this--but I'm intrigued by the premise.

So--More Please.

MLJ