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"I closed my eyes."
"Like fuck you did."
My grin grew bigger and I stepped closer. I took her hand. Again marvelling that we could feel one another as if Margot was as alive as me.
"Why don't we go upstairs and you can make my Rabbit redundant?"
Margot's face broke into a wide grin and she started leading me toward the stairs. We climbed them slowly, hand in hand, and went to my bedroom.
As Margot turned to kiss me I put a hand up to stop her.
"Just promise me you'll still be here when I wake up tomorrow."
"I promise. Tomorrow. And every tomorrow after that.
You know the truth now. I have nothing left to hide, or worries that you'll be fearful of me.
No more games. Promise."
I put my arms around her neck and we kissed with a passion. We fell to the bed pulling at each other's clothes. Margot was the love of my life. My soul mate and I was going to show her in every physical and emotional way I could how much I desired her.
"I so want you." I whispered.
"I want us to be together forever."
"We will be. This is just the beginning of eternity."
I breathed in the distinctive smell of fresh wildflowers from her skin, letting it excite me, and then I kissed her again.
The End
- COMMENTS
SirDigbyChickenCaesarless than a minute agoShyamalan, eat your heart out! The title telegraphed the supernatural element, but the way you played the twist was -very- clever! Erin and Margot make an absolutely adorable couple, and the time-dilated pop culture comparisons made their banter that much more delightful. The seance "in plain sight" was a brilliant choice; I was nearly giggling along with the teasing—it reminds me of another story but for my life I can't remember the name.
From a technical critique, the way the dialogue is broken up into multiple paragraphs reads odd, and unfortunately gets distracting. My understanding is speech over multiple lines ends unmarked, but always starts with quotes. A few times this "list" style had me switching speakers accidentally. Most if not all of these could be condensed into single paragraphs for tidier reading and smoother pacing.
Syntax aside, this was a lovely story. Thank you for sharing.
Flamethrowabout 1 month agoYou make it so understandable and real. Such a beautiful story of genuine love.
rnebularabout 1 month agoI really loved this story. The characters are likeable and worth getting to know, and the setting of the old village was easy to imagine. I admit I almost gave up when I read several lines talking about "woke", but glad I didnt. I dislike the word and that it seems to be used to represent bad things, and especially in a story about two young lesbians. I won't comment other than I think it's generally used by people who don't understand some things so they call it all "woke".
That aside, loved it and easy 5 stars. Thank you for sharing with us!
Hitchhikerabout 1 month agoThis story is even more reseinent that I'm contemporary with the time line. It seems funny that for your character it's all ancient history yet for me it's yesterday. Thought provoking indeed.
