Love Bug (Screenplay Version)

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Jenny joins the Haze Hike, a tradition in her area.
954 words
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This was written in screenplay format, which may be a bit difficult to read for those unfamiliar (or even for those who are, since I've had to modify the format for lit). I may rewrite this sometime as a more traditional short story, but as it is, it's a screenplay that won a competition (for scripts under 5 pages) and I'm proud of it. Enjoy!

Editing before this goes live: note there is no hanky panky involving children in this story whatsoever. There are underaged characters in the story because it was not originally written for an 18+ platform, and they add to the themes and context of the story. If you have concerns please read a little longer, and they will be relieved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

INT. HOME - HALLWAY - EARLY MORNING

A couple--Mom (37) and Dad (42)--are getting hot and heavy. They're in conservative clothing but they can't take their hands off each other.

Just at the end of the hall, in the living room, Roland (8) and Sasha (10) are by window, gazing out into the bronze morning haze. Watching as the sunlight cuts through, dispersing it.

SASHA
It's just a mist, Roland.

ROLAND
It's not a mist. It's more
like smoke or something.

SASHA
Jenny's going hiking in that?

There's a scuffle behind them. Mom has dad pressed against the door frame and he has one hand up under her frilly knee-length skirt, groping her right butt cheek. The kids barely spare them a glance.

ROLAND
Yeah. Tonight I think.

SASHA
Mom says that's where she met dad.

ROLAND
Ew. Do they ever stop?

SASHA
She'll leave for work soon.

Jenny (19) has both hands up and a hair tie in her mouth, pulling her hair up into a ponytail while walking in. She looks at mom directly, ignoring the heavy petting.

JENNY
Have you guys seen my bag?
Also, get a room.

DAD
(laughing)
Do we have time for a room, honey?

Mom looks at her watch. Starts pulling Dad back down the hallway, away from the living room.

MOM
I think it's in the hall closet,
Jenny. Please start taking better
care of your things so I don't have
to pick them up.

DAD
Smoothies are on the counter.
You're welcome.

They disappear, giggling like teens. Slam the door.

SASHA
(to Jenny)
Are you going to be gross, too?

JENNY
Ugh, never. You guys want
smoothies?

INT. HOME - LIVING AREA - LATE AFTERNOON

Mom's keys jangle in the door. Dad is loading the dishwasher. Jenny has water, snacks, hair ties, a comb, and extra socks laid out on the dining room table. She's organizing her bag.

JENNY
I don't even like hiking.

DAD
The haze hike is tradition, Jenny.
Just go along.

JENNY
I will. I'm just saying.

Dad pulls mom into an embrace before she has her second shoe off. Making out against the front door. But they let go after a few seconds. There's stuff to do.

MOM
You don't need all that,
sweetheart. It's only a twenty
minute hike.

She reconsiders.

MOM
Well, maybe the water. It's hot
out. Oh! I got you something.

She heads into her room and returns with a shallow but unpretentious box. Jenny opens it, and lifts out a white summer dress dappled with yellow flowers.

JENNY
Oh! It's nice! Should I wear it
hiking though?

MOM
With your running shoes. It'll be
cute.

They hug.

EXT. GRASSY KNOLL - AFTER DARK

Jenny is wearing the white and yellow dress with bright yellow sneakers. Laughing with her close friend Milla (20, pale and blonde) as they join a larger group. Most of the group are young, 18-25, but at least a few are in their thirties.

The haze is rolling in like a fog, but it doesn't feel like fog. It's dry, and seems to sparkle up close, almost golden. The group gathers naturally, setting out along the desire path worn into the grass.

MILLA
My grandma says going off the
beaten path is the key to success.

She winks at Jenny, stepping off into the grass, spinning around with her arms out. But she makes her way back soon, locking arms with Jenny.

JENNY
It's just twenty minutes, right?

MILLA
Something like that.

The group keeps on, talking and laughing. Making their way up to the top of another knoll. A few people break out their water bottles, and Jenny does too.

MILLA
We head back after this. Back to
the starting point. Then we can
head home. Hey did you finish that
book yet? I warb--

She blinks. Eyes dilated and expression odd.

JENNY
You okay?

MILLA
Yeah I just--

She glances behind Jenny. Around them, a few people have

been singled out of the crowd. She appears suddenly focused.

JENNY
Milla?

MILLA
I'm fine. I just never noticed her
before.

Another girl (20) steps toward Milla, equally focused. Tucking her long black hair behind her ear. They meet each other and touch immediately. Hands tentative on waists, eyes locked.

Jenny watches, until a man brushes past her, headed for a woman he's locked eyes with.

The haze lifts in tendrils around their feet, rolling up over the hill in a gentle wave.

Her vision blurs slightly. Her pupils dilating, too. In her peripheral vision, Milla and the dark-haired girl are settling into the grass, caressing each other in the fog. But ahead of her--

Eyes. Brown eyes, coming closer.

JENNY
Oh.

His hands are on her sides, then her hips, fumbling for the hem of her sun dress.

Farther down her smooth leg, a little tan-coloured speck clings to her skin. Up close it's a tiny grasping tick, emanating golden mist from the pores in its sides. It drops off within moments.

But as the couple drops into the grass, touching, more of the little creatures find them, attaching to both their legs and arms. Each falling away several seconds later.

Lost in infatuation, there's nothing to notice. Just golden dust in the air all around.

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secondlullabysecondlullaby4 months agoAuthor

LitCrit, thanks for the review. I’d had suspicions that this wasn’t really the right home for this story, but I went ahead with it anyway and I think disappointed readers for exactly the reasons you mentioned. It’s helpful to have a better grasp of where I went wrong. Have a good one!

LitCritLitCrit4 months ago

Hmmm ... Weird? Not sure where this wants to go, some interesting suggestions with too many questions left unanswered. I'm not fond of the screenplay format - the story is short enough that it should have been no mayor chore to re-write it as a short story. As it stands, it's just annoying. I'll give it three stars for the effort, but it really needs some reworking to succed here.

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