Love in the Lockdown

No I plotted her return.

Thinking back, I had told her we should be apart for a year then we can see if we still want one another. Oh my god; why a year? Why so long? It will never succeed after a year. I also realised how arrogant I was. Somehow the whole thing was predicated on my assumption she would want to come running back to me because I was so terrific.

That guy she is with may even be her new long term relationship.

I supposed that me being grown up and adult about things I should take that as, well, "Just as I suspected." She is obviously too young and this would have happened at some time.

Yeah right!

OK, I had been the daddy in the relationship, looking after her. What I had not imagined was that it was me that needed her. I had endured four deaths of people I have felt deeply for. The reason I fell in love with Lily was that I needed her and apparently far more than she ever needed me.

I thought I should perhaps move on. In fact I had to move on. I looked at the girls that I had classes with and I could not bear to ask anyone out. In my depressed state I had no confidence. I was supposed to be plotting her return; I had no plan.

Lily and I still had our mobile phones but we agreed not to call one another to give each other freedom. When we agreed to all this it was around her having other men friends. We never discussed me as doing the same thing. I thought if I had someone I could parade her in front of Lily, would lily read that as me moving on or would she get jealous and want to get together?

Initially I didn't want to obviously stalk Lily and I only ever went into her face book page but there was never anything there. She had stopped using it.

It was approaching three months apart when I decided to hell with worrying about stalking and decided to work out when her classes were on and thought I would just happen to be passing by and maybe invite her for a coffee.

I thought about how we would go from there. I thought that she being young would probably get over me a lot quicker than I could her. I would have to win her back; prove myself; but how. She is now probably thinking, 'been there; done that; old hat.'

I had to at least try. I was driven by compulsion. And I did and it turned out remarkably easy. I just hoped that when I saw her she was not with some bloke.

Finally I had some luck; she was just walking away from a lecture when I tapped her on the shoulder.

"Wow, Lily fancy running into you."

"God, Connor it seems like ages since I've seen you." At least she looked really pleased to see me. Her next comment was music to my ears. "Connor, I have a little time on my hands. I have so much to tell you." Wow this was better than I expected. We got a coffee and went and sat under a tree.

"So Connor, what have you been doing with yourself? I have not seen you socially. Are you going out with anyone?"

"Uh no; actually I have been quite celibate. Duncan came down Easter, we spent some time in the mountains."

"How's you work going, I guess you have been throwing yourself into it."

"Uh, Ok I guess." I looked at Lily. She had obviously picked up the vibe that things weren't quite right. She was looking at me the exact same way my Mother did when I was sick or something.

"You were buying a house when I last saw you. What's it like? I bet you had fun buying furniture and setting it up."

"Oh it's a great house. The location is superb but I haven't got round to getting furniture. Needs a woman's touch I suppose. I am still sleeping on a mattress." Lily was really staring at me now, her brows knitted. "Connor ... Are you OK?"

'Oh shit'; I was thinking. "Yes I am perfectly Ok; how about you, everything going OK?" Lily's whole demeanour changed; looking into space. "I am having the greatest time. " She was smiling now in distracted sort of a way. "Orientation was great, I had a ball. You would have been proud of me. I shagged few. You said I should get some experience. Unfortunately it all got a bit much. I suppose I got it all out of my system.

I started seeing this guy and I moved into his flat for a short time but I must have picked up gonorrhoea. We picked it up when Gregg had symptoms; He could only have got it from me. He got really mad and ended the relationship. I was lucky though as I can't have had it for long."

Lily paused and looked at me and I spluttered, "Don't look at me, I've never had it."

"Yeah pretty much picked it up in orientation. It was embarrassing though because I had to track down all those I had sex with. That included two girls." Lily was looking at me at this stage with a triumphant look in her eyes. "Are you proud of me?"

I detected the ambiguity. Was it so or was it a sarcastic question. Lily was still smiling but I had the distinct feeling she was needling me.

"You do know you may not be able to have children."

Lily wasn't fazed, "I'm Ok. There was no sign of PID and the doctor was sure that I had got it in time and there were no complications. I have to say I have gone off sex for a bit. I am really careful now."

I brightened a bit thinking that she was now single and there was an opening for me; her next comment completely dashed my hopes.

"It's all OK now though. I am now going steady with a really sweet guy. He is doing law. I met him at a party; seems like he is from a pretty wealthy family. I have met his parents and everything. Mum really likes them. He understands about the STD. he is giving me some space sexually. We might do something romantic like you and I when I am ready...Connor?" She plainly saw the alarm on my face. "Are you really OK?"

"No, I am sorry Lily, I am not OK. I have lost Five people I love over two, three years."

"Five?"

"Yes, including you Lily."

"Connor you really should be moving on. We had a really good time but that's past now. You had your chance with me. You knew it would turn out like this surely?"

"No Lily, I didn't think it would turn out like this. I realize now how much I was bottling things up. I really need you, Lily, I still do. You are real and pure. We had plans. I was worried you would tire of me if you didn't have opportunity to spread your wings a little before we married."

At this stage I was breaking and was beginning to cry.

"I'm confused Connor. You hurt me so badly when you talked me into this. I don't think I could ever forgive you for what you did. Look we can be friends but I am with a really nice thoughtful guy now, He doesn't have all your baggage."

It was at this point I utterly broke down. I literally humiliated myself in public. Lily put her arms around me, soothing me. "I'm sorry Connor, I'm so sorry I really didn't know. I was thinking about myself, I now know that. What you have been through is enormous. You have to know we are finished but I want to help you."

Lily escorted me to my car. "Are you Ok going home by yourself? I can call my Mum if you like."

Oh shit, I thought that would be double humiliation.

"Look I could hitch you up with one of my girlfriends. You have to get out. You can't live like this. You look thin, Are you eating properly? You have to help yourself, you know."

"As I was getting into the car she came around to the driver's door. "Here look, do you want me to help you get some furniture for your house. There's a project; that would cheer you up."

"I think I would enjoy that. It would at least take my mind off my own troubles. You still have my number, don't you? Give me a call and we will arrange a time."

We said our good byes and then Lily did something unusual, she kissed me good bye. It wasn't a chaste kiss on the cheek it was a full on lovers kiss directly on the lips. No tongue, just that hint of passion.

I made an involuntary touch of my lips as she walked away. Then she waved at someone who seemed to have been watching us. She ran up to him and slung her arms around his neck but he spurned a kiss, turning his head. It must have been her new beau and he was not happy.

After that I did not expect her to ring but she did about a week later. We arranged to meet on the Saturday morning. I don't think I slept on Friday night, I was so keyed up. The morning was a joy but it did not begin well when Lily turned up with an engagement ring on.

"Wow that's quick," I exclaimed spotting it almost straight away. Lily looked embarrassed.

"What, are you pregnant or something, Are you getting married soon?"

Lily replied in hushed tones, "Look, I think it is a mistake really. I don't want to get married right away. I said I wanted a long engagement. I didn't know what to do. Both my Mum and his parents were there when Paul asked me. It was actually horrible."

It was my turn to exercise some compassion. "Hey it's Ok, lily, take some time. You have that you know. You don't have to rush."

Then lily smiled at me and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. The rest of the morning was bliss. It was obvious that lily enjoyed every bit of it as well.

'This girl was nesting,' I thought to myself. We walked around the house talking about what we should buy. Lily ended up talking me into redecorating. She would help me, she gushed. She looked at the view and loved that. She loved the house and oh! the garden had so many possibilities.

We went for coffee, lily was babbling away about doing this or doing that. I listened to what she was saying and just thought, 'Lily this is not your house. You have already led me to believe that we would not be living together.' I couldn't say anything but for the first time I thought I was in with a real chance.

We looked at a few shops and came out with very little. Lily wasn't fazed. She was being very particular. She did not want me saddled with a bunch of old junk, she said. She finally talked me into buying her lunch before parting with a promise to meet the next Saturday. It began to be a regular thing and then included a couple midweek sessions when we just had to visit this place or that.

The shit eventually hit the fan after one Saturday. We drove up north to visit a craftsman furniture maker. It meant that Lily stayed with me later than usual.

That night I had been working on an assignment and had finally flopped onto my new Super king sized bed that Lily insisted I buy. I fell asleep literally thinking of Lily and how she had talked me into it when my crazy ring tone woke me.

It was Lily in a hell of a state crying hysterically that she had been raped. I told her to call emergency but she wouldn't, saying it was Paul.

She said she didn't know where he was. I asked where she was. She said she was hiding outside in the garden of her mother's apartment.

Opposed to her wishes I called emergency services then hurriedly got into my jeans and tee shirt and despite it being cold outside jumped into my VW and made my way to her apartment arriving shortly before the police.

I could hear yelling and crying, some neighbours were on the street but not really doing anything. I rushed around the units to their back yard and over the fence into the apartment's exterior court yard.

Paul had lily cowering on the ground. He had obviously been kicking and hitting her. She had folded herself into the foetus position with her hands protecting her head.

He was in an uncontrollable rage and was holding something in his hand. He saw me and went apoplectic. I was obviously the root cause of his rage. He rushed me but he was an angry man and not one with any fighting skill.

Still in a rage he was a formidable opponent and he was not going to give up. His first lunge at me found him flipped onto the ground. I kept tipping him so he was unable to get up. I was doing it to stall him.

I could hear the sirens as the cars arrived. He managed to get up and he grabbed me but it was too late as two officers grabbed him from behind.

Lily in the meantime was up and as soon as I was free she grabbed me. Paul had managed to do some damage but I was so hyped up with adrenalin I was feeling no pain. Lily just clung to me and would not let me out of her sight as we were taken up to Accident and Emergency at the hospital.

And that's how lily and I got back together. Basically, it seems Paul had suspected something and had been spying on us. He was sure we were bonking and the trip up north was the final straw. He was a very jealous guy and he had hit her before this. It seems he had trouble with anger management.

One turn up was I discovered that Lily had been stalking me a little and knew more about what I had been doing than she let on.

It took a wee while to really be totally comfortable with one another. The house was the key. We were soon bonking and Lily eventually moved in with me. We spent a year redecorating which turned into a refurb and modernization but we love it, it was ours, well possibly more Lily's, but I don't care. We had Helen before we got married. We got married more at the insistence of Lily's mum really. Eventually we moved out of the house when we established the practice.

Yes, we finally achieved our dream.

Before we moved out we had an interesting visit. Helen was still a toddler and Mikey was still a baby, when on a Saturday morning the door chimes rang. Lily answered and called me to the door. Standing outside was an elegant woman with striking red hair accompanied by a well-dressed man I presumed was her husband. It took me a few seconds but I clicked when she spoke with a broad Scots accent.

Like many red heads she seemed to have hardly aged so was still very recognizable. It was Fleur's escort friend, Suzie from London. I had previously told Lily about those days and Lily herself invited Suzie and her husband in, sitting us down and bringing a pot of tea.

The conversation initially was all generalities; Suzie had emigrated to be with her kiwi husband and had been living here for quite a while. Finally she got to her point. She was trying to find Fleur who she understood had come back to New Zealand.

Unfortunately Fleur used a different surname in London and Suzie did not know what her real name was so had never discovered her mother. Approaching me was a longshot as she had no idea we would have linked up. But finally she thought that there was a chance that I might know. She was stunned when I had told her that we had married but she committed suicide.

Suzie began weeping. I hadn't thought of her as the weeping sort so I was quite touched. When she had settled a bit we talked at length about Fleur.

I told her the circumstances of her death and the apparent affair were a mystery but also there was a mystery in the circumstances of her return. We knew there had been some kind of traumatic experience but Fleur would not discuss it.

I said that to my regret, if I had known, maybe I could have helped and she may have not have died so needlessly. Suzie listened then told me Fleur's story as she knew it.

"To know what happened you have to know why Suzie was in the UK in the first place. It seems she had a terrible relationship with her father. He was a rat bag and actually beat up her boyfriend.

He had a heart attack and it was brought on because he was being blackmailed about stuff he got up to."

"Did she say who it was blackmailing him?"

"No I don't recall a name except he was a lawyer."

"Did she say anything about the lawyer's son?"

"No nothing at all. The lawyer was trying to get a controlling share of a business, a farming one but her father committed suicide."

"Following his death the farming interest fell in favour of her mother. The lawyer was not aware of the details. The lawyer thought that Fleur would have inherited it for some reason, but Fleur and her father had grown to hate each other and he cut her off. She left for the UK because she thought the lawyer was going to expose her as well. She seemed to think she had done stuff that would have got her arrested as well."

"What sort of stuff?"

"She never said but I always assumed that it had something to do with drugs."

Any way she arrived in the UK and became one wild girl until you turned up." Suzie smiled at me as she said this. "Aye, she was very taken with you."

"We never really did anything."

"Aye, I think that was the point."

Suzie swallowed the composed herself for what happened next.

One of Fleur's clients was a politician. Now he resigned over what happened next. You may have heard is name because of the scandal but you would not have heard Fleur's name attached to it.

You remember Lina, well she began in the game when she was young. She was actually trafficked out of the Ukraine. At some stage, Will, our boss at the cocktail bar, had done some kind of deal. She was originally owned by a Russian crowd.

Will used to look after her and it was through him that she got a sugar Daddy and an apartment. He thought we were nice girls and we would look after her, which we did.

Now Fleur was regularly with this politician dude and I think she was pretty much exclusive to him in the end after you left. She was therefore making a lot of money out of him. She wasn't cheap you know.

Fleur would usually go to this apartment the dude had for their liaisons, but occasionally they would go down to Brighton and he would pick her up in his big black chauffeur driven Merc.

Now here's the coincidence. Lina came home one day and saw the dude leaning against his car. She recognized him and she kind of froze. Fleur came down and confirmed to her that he was her sugar daddy. She'd had been doing him, on and off, since she first arrived; she had looked pretty young then and he liked them young. It seemed that the dude actually saw them talking and may have recognized Lina.

Any way; apparently he was up to his neck in the trafficking. He was into the young women and Lina had been one of his; this started in his visits to Eastern Europe. He used to partake in his girls in Bulgaria where he met Lina and it was he that organized with Will getting Lina to England.

He tired of her well before Fleur had arrived. Lina for a while was just working as a cocktail waitress until Will set her up with another sugar daddy.

When Fleur found out what the dude had been into she went ape shit and immediately called the police. It grew into big deal involving Interpol and the police set about organizing some sort of sting. Well, it seems that the dude figured something was going on.

He actually frightened Fleur now that he knew we were all socializing together.

If he even got a whiff that something was amiss, we would pay the price. Fleur told the police this. Of course I was sharing a flat with Fleur and was very frightened as well.

Apparently the Dude brought up doing a threesome including Lina in Brighton. You know Fleur never normally did that in her job and the Dude would have known this.

Fleur smelt a rat and told the police. That's when they set up the sting. It was a helluva high risk because it was obvious that these two girls were going to disappear.

Well I saw him waiting there with his big black car with these tinted windows.

The cops had me clear out of the flat for safety. The cops had people watching as well. I saw them both approach the car and the Dude was inside.

He did not show himself this time but I saw him wave out the door to Fleur as she approached. There was a heavy bro' waiting by the car. Fleur got in but Lina held back and then the Bro came around grabbed by her arm and threw her bodily into the car, slammed the door and jumped into the front passenger door as they drove off.

The cops botched the timing of the next stage.

The dude did not take them to Brighton but to someplace in the country which created problems for the cops but they did track them down. They were also using a helicopter or something.

Fleur and Lina were tied to chairs then they sexually tortured; Lina in front of Fleur.