All Comments on 'Love, Sex, Revenge Pt. 01'

a true voyeur

Though I find some of the psychology unpalatable, this was a very entertaining story and I'm looking forward to the rest.

Full marks.

There is a fine line between "Fantasy" and "Reality" and an equally fine line between "role-playing" and using "Fantasy" as z crutch during sex play. This Macho small man doesn't want another man touching his wife, but he then pushes her into a Fantasy about fucking another man. This is dangerous territory and I can imagine how it will end up.

You used the word "Baby" 22 times on page 2 alone. Think up an alternative word instead of using the same word over and over.

That and your lack of proof reading ruins a decent story.

i like revenge stories

so i will hang around

Okay something doesn't make sense. He wrecked himself thinking her pushed her to the VP douche, and regretted having her imagine him in bed. Strained the marriage for a week, then goes out to dinner just when she's promising to never look at another man. And the damn idiot does it again, ha ing her pick out a guy. It's pretty clear he keeps pushing her to fantasies that she'll eventually fall again in the next chapter. And someone described like johnny would not do that again. So he inadvertently pushed her to fantasy land again, then she'll fall being too weak, then he gets pissed again but this time goes for divorce and then revenge. It's like writing on the wall.

The story was quite well-written.

And the plot was not what I expected which quite frankly surprised me in a good way.

For that, I should have given this a 4*.

BUT.

Then after that incident with Johnny and Archer, things began to go downhill for me.

In the first half of the story, Johnny rightly reflected that perhaps he pushed Grace to sexually fantasize on Archer and it was wrong as it made him jealous, BUT instead of discouraging Grace, he began to encourage her.

/

And I think this will not end well,

Johnny GAVE HER PERMISSION to fantasize about other men.

This is where Johnny's STUPIDITY began and if this was real life IT will not end well.

Either the husband becomes a cuck or it will trigger rage and a few people will get physically hurt due to a fit of triggered jealousy and the marriage gets destroyed.

/

I think I have bad vibes on where the direction of the story is going.

I feel the author is going for a controlled cuckold scenario where Johnny gets to control how Grace will meet other men -- all for Johnny to experience the euphoria of sexual pleasure when Grace thinks (or DO?) other men.

In other words, Johnny will end up pimping his wife for his pleasure.

/

If I get a whiff of my suspicion on chapter 2

I'm gonna regret reading it and without hesitation rate it 1 star.

I hate cuck stories.

So far, it's pretty good. Looking forward to the next part.

Yep, that was hot. It's funny, I have a cousin who is a bit like Johnny, without the money. A part two would be good as long as it doesn't involve her fucking someone else. It wouldn't fit knowing the characters' feelings on the subject. Good story.

very interesting... wonder if opening this door will end badly for them, nice start!

The story line is good, and I like where its going, but you change the log from first person to third so often, it becomes somewhat confusing. Also, there are several words missing a letter which changes the meaning g severely. One example is the word "no" when " now" makes the sentence make sense. These issues can easily be fixed. All in all, I gave it a four * rating because the story is still good.

fucking "A". Made me hard 5+ stars

Starting to go a little Cucky.

As some others have mentioned, your writing was a little rough in places but I think you have the beginnings of a good story. Lots of options on how it can go. Keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to your next chapter.

For what it's worth, I use tools like Pro Writing Aid and the Immersive Reader(it will read your story to you) view in Word to help me with grammar and flow of my stories.

Great start. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Watch out for those changes between first and third person.

Dump the worthless gutter slut and move on to a faithful woman.

He has himself to blame so I will wait and see where this is going. Sounds like either Archer comes back and then there is revenge after he screws Johnnies wife OR Johnny makes her feel she is entitled to a fling to please Johnnie yet that is not what Johnnie wants.

He goes from insanely jealous to encouraging her to be with another man, then back to insanely jealous and then again pushing her to fantasize about other men in bed. Especially when she also fell for Archer.

You lost me. I hate cuck stories and you don't seem to be making up your mind as to what he is.

I rate this 4 stars, barely

Page 1

Do wives of “made men” have jobs and careers?

Like the story up until after he dealt with Archer and then it started going off the rails. If you have to get your wife to think about another man in order to have hot sex you're pretty much screwed as a man and husband. Sadly I have the feeling this story is going to continue plunging into the abyss of Johnny becoming a cuck.

I have the feeling Johnny's dad would kick his ass if he find out what Johnny was doing in order to get wild sex with his wife.

He had a cocky smile with three dislocated fingers? Impressive

Start was damn good

Great start and looking forward to the rest!

I like that Johnny went to the restaurant and confronted Archer but Johnny is playing with fire.

I really enjoyed the story so far, but I struggle to buy in why Johnny would continue down this plot line. He’s highly jealous in nature and it blew up on him once already. ( I get the tie in to his “feminine” upbringing and the description he was was messed up in the head. ) it still isn’t working for me and seems destined for a predetermined story arc. 4* for now.

Like it so far…can’t wait for Ch.2

Hate cuck stories, so I hope it doesn’t go in that direction. Johnny is playing with fire with the “other man” fantasy crap. Grace likes it WAY too much!

Good beginning. I liked that he confronted the asshole & did him some damage after seeing him & his wife at the restaurant. But I'm questioning WHY??? did he want his wife to think of Archer when they had sex? I don't understand that; he's like wanting her to cheat. For now, 4 stars

The story had possibilities and needs to change direction. I know Archer needed a lesson and got what he deserved. I feel you already have P2 and P3 written and the die is cast, but the ratings will drop if this continues with Johnny as a wimp.

Keep writing. Can't wait for Ch02!

Gave you full scores. cd

Johnny might be a brute but he's a stupid brute.

Pretty good story but they need counseling. All it would've taken was a few more lunch dates and she would've had sex with the guy. What happens next time with a different guy?

Not badly written and in its own way funny. There are some mechanical issues with the writing, like slipping into dialog from narrative and not using quotes, or Johnny talking first person when referring to grace the table but saying in quotes ' he asked them to join them rather than I asked them to join them. I am not a niggler on grammar, but it made it hard to read sometimes.

They have their best sex when fantasizing Grace is having sex with another man. Johnny clearly wants to be a cuckold and Grace wants to screw men that are more confident in bed than her husband. They need to both accept the cuckold lifestyle, get marriage counseling, or divorce. No matter what happens Johnny needs a lot of therapy for growing up being bullied and his cuckold fantasies.

This story is about to head to a kinky place. I see from the author's bio that they are into cross dressing. As the second chapter came out they posted it in the Crossdressing/Transgendered category. This obviously must be the new direction for the story. This is how one should post stories, in the appropriate category. Thanks CindyTV for using the system correctly. Because of your honesty I have rated this part of the story higher than I might normally. - TANSTAAFL

Very good . It’s a real reaction from hubby in 99% of the men I know . Maybe not be leathal or a gangsters kid but that does add to a story line . The pretty innocent wife in the workplace getting hit on is also 100% true and an extreme high percentage actually do cheat physically and even higher emotionally. Then we get the male predator who thinks he’s gods gift . As most men are horney animals who will fuck whoever that v can with no care if married or not. . Mostly realistic and fantasy and role play are healthy in a relationship but acting on it is mostly destruction in a marriage. Hopefully this stays on the track and not lead to her being a pig and hubby becoming a wimp cuck

Great! Where is the rest??

Love it when a man or woman will not tolerate cheating. I really love it when a smaller man over power a larger guy.

Thanks for your writing.

The story is good but he definitely seems to be setting himself up for trouble in the future. This type of kink almost always goes bad after a while.

Comment at end of tale!. LP

Miss Cindy, You are a GREAT writer! Thank You so much! 5 stars for you! What a "HOT" idea to fantasize about people we meet at dinner or a Bar, later on that night! LOL Really Great Idea. I never realized how good you are before. I've always thought you looked really cute in your picture, but Now I have way more respect for your writing ability! Thank You so much. I wish I was half the writer you are. Thank You BUSTER2U

5 Stars Cindy, WOW another super story from you, well done

Another good story, little bit odd but nicely odd.

Sadly only 3 stars, why? Basically a good story but so many errors I found myself rereading far to many times. I suggest you find a really good editor or take a lot more care when writing. I will however read the rest of the chapters and hope the editor is a lot more careful with his /her job. Thank you.

You are getting much better with practice! More complexity to characters,, intriguing plotlines. The issue of Johnny encouraging Grace to fuck "Mark", yet causing such damage to the real Mark as to chase him out of town, is puzzling but I am naive with psychology of sex.i Keeps my curiosity as to where this will go. I second the recommendations as to getting some editing help and developing better editing skills yourself. As a 3-part set this is quite ambitious.

Good story line. The constant switching back from first person to third person, sometimes in the middle of paragraphs was REALLY distracting, even annoying. Still give it high marks but please find someone to proof or edit before publishing.

Great story. I have enjoyed reading several of your stories. I would like your writing better if you could do a better job proof reading your work . Many little minor typos tend to disrupt the reading tempo and is distracting. I love reading a story that flows flawlessly without misspelling or misused prepositiones. I found several preposition errors in this story.

Yes, I liked it, 5***** for that. But I'm excited to see what's next.

Archer should have paid attention.