All Comments on 'Lucky Man Ch. 24'

For me not my favorite chapter. I was really expecting to see more confrontation between Kelly and Duncan. Little White Lies and this story are starting to morph into the same story. Wife/Girlfriend that fucks anyone and everyone and the husband/boyfriend that doesn't give a fuck. This was one of my favorite stories and I'm really disappointed in it's direction.

I loved that Kelly got more solo time in this story, thanks! The DP scene was underwhelming but I suppose that supported the narrative. Kelly's resistance to letting go absolutely gives the story an eroticism that it wouldn't have otherwise and I thought it was a great move to have Duncan's perspective where it's revealed that he encouraged her to be naughty comes after we see her in the act.

It does seem strange that she just quit her job because she didn't like the idea of an open marriage but then turns around and ducks the guys at the shoot.

I'm not sure why, but all of the side fucking at the porn shoots always gets me going. When Duncan fucked that girl earlier when they weren't supposed to be, and each time Kelly fucks her costars outside of scenes. Gives an extra little naughty factor.

I also can't wait for Sam to finally start getting fucked. I love the way you've worked her in and how she has a safe place to experiment.

I read the chapter and waited a day to let it settle, still very conflicted. First, in general, another well written chapter, I like that Kara is pregnant and they are moving forward with having a family.

My conflict, the whole story started with Kelly asking her friend for advice on bjs and it moved to Duncan would be in charge of Kelly's next steps, how she would be pushed out of her comfort zone, sexy clothes, flashing strangers etc.

Now here we are and Kelly has done a couple big firsts WITHOUT Duncan. Especially the anal, just no thought about the 2 people she claims to love so much. She never says no to anyone, anywhere. In this chapter it happens with the guy at the shoot, if he was going to be so bold, she would let him do what he wanted.

The 3 have occasional sex but I don't recall them making love to reconnect. I swear they (especially Kelly) are having significantly more sex with others than each other. That whole thing with her former boss and 2 other guys in the living room which basically made Duncan want to leave and not see it. He is just rolling over.

At first it was planned sex parties with known friends (limited time and place), then expanded, not moved, to sex at work with her boss and just kept going until now people are coming to their house on random days to fuck her. They said they didn't want an open marriage but I don't see how this isn't open as she will let any guy she has a conversation with to do whatever they want to her.  Zero rules means everything is allowed, aka open marriage.

This chapter touched on Duncan being in charge but that whole conversation was confusing to me and just whitewashed the anal surprise. It just turned into "oh was Kelly bad?" not an actual conversation discussing limits or hard rules or her lack of any thought related to her husband and wife. No real remorse.

I think Duncan needs to take an active role as the boss. There needs to be time and space that is only for the 3 of them, no other guests, friends etc (4 if you count Dani, that isn't quite the same as what Duncan, Kelly and Kara share) Kara can control herself, doesn't just let whatever happen, told the other guys no pussy before they even became an official 3 way. Kelly needs Duncan /Kara to take charge and set some limits like that for her since she seems unable.

Now she is escorting Dani to California to do porno. Kelly has zero self control, probably have a train ran on her on the plane ride. Only the fact that she has day to day contact with Duncan/Kara puts any limits on her, she has to be home to eat dinner, people will notice she is missing etc. What happens when she doesn't have daily errands /chores, goes to watch some big porno shoot and just starts getting used by every guy/girl there since she doesn't say no. She will turn into one of those used hard and put away wet, aged fast, just passed around as a party favor while Duncan /Kara continue to get closer especially as they are now pregnant. Kelly feels like she is on the outside moving away and I hope that it changes because it all started with their love for each other.

I agree with Wash2015 - this story is way outside where it started. Each chapter now is just fuck fuck fuck - not really a story of Duncan and Kelly

I dislike leaving negative comments on these stories because I know how much effort goes into writing them. I hope everything is taken as constructive feedback and not as an attack on your abilities as a writer because I can assure you that I thoroughly enjoyed many of your submissions. With that being said, I have to say I fully agree with everything Wash2015 posted in their write up. For the first time while reading one of your stories I found myself just skimming through or flat out skipping scenes that just felt flat. The best parts of this chapter were the portions with Sam and it's not even her series. I also agree with another reader that said this story and Little White Lies are basically morphing into the exact same story, you even accidently referred to Dexter as Duncan in one of the past chapters... I might suggest finding a good stopping point to put one of the stories on pause while you focus on a few of your other series so that you can come back with "fresh eyes" and find/bring back the magic that made this series so great in the beginning

I'm a worry wart by nature, so I'll echo some other's comments. Kel is going off the deepend, I'm afraid: the ass fucking with Dunc's best friends, the unplanned sex with the kids when Mr. Sellers came over, the unplanned debauchery at Camille's photo shoot, the CA trip with Danielle to do who knows what with porno dudes and girls. I'm a traditionalist and get pretty worked up with concentual swinging, but now Kel is doing whatever she wants like a Hotwife. I wonder if her and Dunc's marriage can survive. Well, onto Book 2 and hopefully all will work out.....You're holding the reins of this runaway horse MC, do your best!

I agree if the focus on the story is just Duncan and Kelly, then that is where the focus of the story needs to go.

Also, the open question of whether Kelly and Kara are related, like sisters separated by adoption was passed over, the question was brought up and then never really explored to any real degree. After Kelly and Danielle return from California, which needs to happen, I think exploring that question to the point where they find Kara and Kelly really are identical sisters separated at birth, given how identical they are and the fact they are the same age.

One last item, you probably should do some more character development on the rest of the characters in Duncan, Kara, Kelly, and Danielle's swinger group. Develop some of the other characters back stories, so they are much more than just sex toys used to populate the story. You got away from doing that and that is part of what makes a story like this so endearing to readers, as we start to care about the character and get emotionally invested in them more as the story line develops.

Seems like Duncan just missed the last chance to save Kelly then! I see a lot of people complaining in the comments about Duncan and Kelly slowly drifting apart and making poor decisions as though that means it's bad writing... Just because the characters head in a direction you don't want them to, it doesn't make it bad writing!

I do feel that other criticisms around many of the background characters lacking depth or development is valid though, and they do come across as a bunch of sex toys more often than not... It feels like you give characters a proper introduction to the story each time, and make their first couple of conversations and encounters with Duncan and Kelly meaningful, but then they just drift into the background for any potential arc for that character to never be returned to... I feel like there's loads of room to fix that however, like with Stacy being the latest addition to the group, and her now taking on the PA role for Duncan, there's the option to not leave her behind as just another toy but to develop her a bit more...

I really love this series. The sex is graphic, and fun. I just wish six months didn’t lapse between episodes. I almost had to reread the previous chapter to figure out where I left off.

Why are the comments from the readers so serious about the relationship between Duncan, Kelly and Kara in this overdone Group Sex category story. This story is all about porn style sex and these three main characters are simply the authors means of telling it. So of course the characters are shallow and their emotional responses weak. In order to get as much sex as possible into this story, the author not only writes about the weekly orgies at the Mess Around (even adding making sex fantasies come true) he includes sex in the workplace, Kelly hosting a porn website and even several characters making actual porn movies at Camille’s studio and posting them to the world. This story has evolved into being a porn story within a porn story with Kelly being the ultimate porn star. Within this chapter alone, besides husband Duncan, Kelly has sex with 9 different men (multiple times) and lesbian sex (multiple times) with three women all in one week. Also, Duncan now makes love to Kara instead of his wife. He actually brutally fucks Kelly (the one he supposedly loves) in this chapter adding to the porn star theme. This practically non existing plot story is now 24 chapters long and with Kelly going off to California to make porn movies don’t expect a conclusion any time soon. Don’t get me wrong this is a great group sex story with well written detailed descriptions of people having great sex and it’s very erotic to read. It’s a wonderful story to read one handed.

In regards to the anonymous comment and another that I can't find now, the writing is very good, one of the reasons I read it and I apologize if my comments were taken as negative on the writing. Great writing and good story telling are the reasons I am a fan.

As to why I comment on the character direction. I very much enjoyed how it started, I continued to enjoyed where it went for a while. However where they are now is so far from where it started and where they said they wanted to go. If Duncan and Kelly from chapter 1 and 2 looked at themselves now, would they think that they are closer, farther apart or the same as a couple as when they started. This was supposed to bring them from very close to even closer as a couple and that is not how it seems to me. Personally I would hate to see a love story (how it started and why I starting following) turn into their lives imploding (depressing end to a story I enjoy)

I am not the author, the author obviously can do what they want. As a fan I can simply express what I like and don't like and the author can ignore me all they want.

To me, Kara has made a clear commitment/statement to their relationship even before it was official, no p in the v other than Duncan. Something that is only for their loving relationship.

What has Kelly done for Duncan to show that level of commitment? The marriage was before swinging and that was a statement that Kelly loves him and only sex with him. That obviously is no longer true with swinging so what can she do to show her commitment to put Duncan and Kara above everyone else she has sex with?

A start could be to stop giving all of her firsts to other people. The ability to actually say no to someone, actual remorse about her rarely giving any thought to Duncan /Kara. I don't know where the author is going but I hope it doesn't just turn into sex everywhere all the time with everyone but the way Duncan is just rolling over is frustrating. Every swinging relationship has their own rules, I wish this threesome would actually come up with some sort of self imposed guidelines.

This started as more than a stroke story and I hope it ends as more than that.

I agree with Wash2015 about the direction this story has degenerated into. What once a happily married couple committed to each other is long gone. There if nothing even remotely resembling a marriage between Duncan and Kelly. They are simply roommates. The other married couples in this story, after swinger parties, go home together, reconnect intimately and live somewhat normal lives when they get home. Duncan and Kelly are never alone, never reconnect intimately and there is no resemblance of normalcy. Their house is a revolving door for anyone to enter and have sex with Kelly, Duncan or Danielle. I see no way the author can bring back their loving relationship without someone getting hurt. I actually think the best outcome is for Danielle and Kelly to find they love being porn stars and decide to stay in California. Kelly eventually divorces Duncan so he can marry Kara and live as a family with their child.

I’m a women who likes sex and enjoys reading story’s like this one and It’s crossover about other women who like sex. I also enjoy reading the comments that are undoubtedly written by men who are trying to relate this fictional story to a real life married couple. This story is now 24 chapters long and 5 years in the making and for some reason these guy think the story has a directional plot with a happy ending. Personally I simply enjoying reading about the sexual trysts that sex addicted Kelly, Sam and her twin sisters get themselves into and don’t care about the direction this story is going. Sorry guys but the men and boys in both these stories are portrayed as simply fuck buddies of different ages with different sized and shaped cocks for the women’s enjoyment. Duncan being the “biggest” boy toy of them all.

Its pretty obvious Kelly has lost the plot, or has successfully deluded herself into believing she is there for Duncan and Kara. She is sexually submissive and addicted to sex, with practically anyone. How on earth she is going to California for a month with Danielle and coming back after experiencing the debauchery she is bound to attract defines logic. She'll be gang banged senseless, be given drugs she can't handle, probably get some slave tattoos in various intimate places, possibly even arrested. When she finds out Kara is pregnant she will become bitter and just bury herself in more sex, with more strangers, more films bla bla. Unless Mentalcase can resurrect some sense of personal control in her, there's a very dim future for Kelly.

Was a great fun story in the beginning with great relationships and exploration. Unfortunately the fun and great relationships have gone to hell. Hope MentalCase can move it back to a fun story again. It doesn't have to be a fuck fuck fuck story every chapter.

I agree with anonymous who said this story has just degenerated into a fuck fest by every character with no real great relationships left. Story no longer worth waiting six months for since it’s no longer a fun read and the plot is going nowhere in particular!

MentalCase - can you give us an idea when the next chapt will be posted. Been 6 months since the last.

I have loved every single chapter of this story. And I am truly looking forward to the next book.

Hot as hell, but it's so cruel to leave us all hanging. Looking forward to part two.

Ok...ok i have read all 23 parts...i really was into all the characters and their kinks/motivations, but it has really started to devolve. Where at first Kelly was a loving and rather smart wife to now not being able to turn down any dick or vagina that even kinda gets near her. To use the vernacular of todays youth "she belongs to the streets" she claims to never be able to deny her husband Duncan yet they have intercourse like once per part? Always a shower or morning quickie, meanwhile she will bang her old man boss or 18 year old loser Connor 5 or 6 times per part. At some point Duncan would start to realize that while yes she probably loves him and he loves her she is not actively in love with him it's more a nostalgic love. A remnant of their courtship and early marriage. Especially when you factor in that he has a younger/smarter/healthier/ more committed version of her under the same roof. It's time for old Duncan to drop the hammer and tell kelly that they will be getting a divorce and she can stay his girlfriend if she wants and do all her dirt, but he's gotta make Kara his #1 chick has earned it. Or fuck it...blow the whole thing up...make a speech and quit the group he's kinda the lynchpin for the whole production anyways. Dudes some kinda 6'3" handsome hung sex god he's gonna land on his feet. He will be hurt and damaged sure but start over find him a good one, go search out Erin or Rachel or somebody completely different but don't have your main character just get cucked for 500 pages. Especially when he's supposed to be the most Alpha of them all and these freaks elected "king"

I was digging the story and all but these last 6 parts or so really started rubbing me the wrong way.

So she's gonna go out to Cali to get gangbanged by dudes who don't give a fuck about her huh? Just this chapter she was making a big deal outta servicing her old boss cuz he needed it for his marriage. So who's gonna help him out now while she's gone for a month or forever? Duncan? The writing is really good but you really lost the center

I really enjoyed the first 10 chapters, but then it just seemed to veer off the original story line and Kelly in particular didn’t bear any resemblance to Kelly at the start. A bit disappointed.

I hope u do continue this story

Before I post my comments for this chapter, I’m going to repost my comments for chapter 23:

Great writing, as usual!! ANAL - finally, I thought that maybe that would be part of Duncan’s fantasy. I really hope this becomes part of Kelly’s regular repertoire. Back to the great writing, it is so well written that you have people psycho analyzing characters in a Literotica story. Way to go. I think some of the other commentators are looking for a return of the Kelly and Duncan from chapter 1. You cannot put the genie back in the bottle. I love that this story tells how shy Kelly, the virgin bride, became a hardcore slut. She went from blushing saying penis to swearing like a sailor. She went from shy, to showing her off, to cam/porn star. She went from hating giving blowjobs to loving them above all else. She went from not swallowing to “accidentally” swallowing Mark, to loving the taste, (I think it was Duncan who said it was the most intimate act a woman can do). She went from being shocked that Marie was having sex with her boss to screwing her boss, Marie’s boss and anything that moved in the office. She went from anal - “not my honey!!” To letting Mark and Drake take turns without even mentioning it to Duncan or Kara. I think anal will be the same way, hopefully she loves it and her next gangbang will be airtight. I think that her ultimate end will be for her and Danielle to move to California and do porn full time. As for our Lucky Man, Duncan, he gets a redo. Kara becomes his new wife and mother of his children. They are surprised when the are watching Kelly’s most recent porn, Ariel Gangbang 1, she does ten guys. They still meet with the Saturday group, but only a couple of times a year. And, Kara only does other women and usually with Duncan in a three way. They still see Kelly and Danielle a couple of time per year, when they are passing through as feature dancers at the local strip club. The latest time through, Kelly let’s them preview her most recent title, Ariel’s Airtight Gangbang 37. Duncan gets a fairly normal family and Kelly gets to release her inner slut. Love it.

Absolutely loved it. It feeds right into my comment for chapter 23, which I reposted below.

The writing is great, as usual. This chapter was such a rollercoaster. It started with Kelly giving us her side of her first anal experience. She liked it - orgasmed. Then she backed off in a talk with Duncan and Kara, letting them know that she will discuss any future major decisions; we’ll see, but hopefully not. Then she get banged, humiliated and debased by her old boss, Steve and Conor, another step forward in her open relationship (not marriage anymore). This leads to another talk with Duncan and Kara. Then she went to Danielle’s shoot and became the center of the action, taking every dick - even Frank’s again. And, she gets so caught up in her inner slut that when one guy takes his dick out in the parking lot, she is ready to drop to her knees. Very hot. She is ready for her turn as a porn star.

You can have so much fun with her in California doing porn. This could easily be several more chapters or you could wrap it up.

I do hope for a scene where after a day of shooting Kelly and Danielle attend an after-party; Kelly wakes up feeling someone cumming on her face, (I think Duncan mentioned this in one of the earlier chapters). She opens her eyes and takes a shot in face that nails her eye. She now realizes that someone is fucking her ass. She senses that the guy blasting her face is done and tries to open her eyes; but, one eyes is filled with cum and burns so she closes her eyes again. The bed shifts and when she opens her good eye, she sees a dick at least as big as Duncan headed towards her mouth. She doesn’t know who it is and doesn’t have a chance to see her new partner’s face. He grabs he head and slams the whole thing down her throat in one shove and starts fucking her face. She realizes for the first time that her gag reflex is completely gone. She taste pussy on this cock. She’s not sure if it’s her’s or some other girl’s, maybe Danielle. She doesn’t care.

At first she calls Kara and Duncan daily, but after a couple days it drops to every other day and finally once a week. Meanwhile Duncan and Kara have the house to themselves. They are having romantic dinners and making love. They have a completely different perspective on each other and on the world as parents to be. Duncan turns down any future shoots with Camilla and even turns down Stacy at work. They decided to “pause” going to the Saturday group. Maybe the group dissolves because Duncan was the glue that kept all the unicorns coming back.

At the end of the first month Duncan and Kara hear from Kelly, expecting her to tell them she’s ready to come home; but, she surprises them with letting them know that she and Danielle signed a lease on an apartment and now she can start her cam show again. Kelly contacts Conor to come out and set up the cam show. He is willing but wants her to keep it a secret from Duncan, so he can fulfill his fantasy of having an affair with Kelly. She agrees to do it.

A month or so later Duncan and Kara see her fucking Conor on her cam show. They call and finally tell her about the pregnancy. Kelly has an epiphany, not what anyone thinks. Duncan receives divorce papers in the mail. Kelly doesn’t want anything, just a quickie divorce. Duncan and Kara call Kelly looking for an explanation. Kelly tells them that they are all equal in this relationship; so, it doesn’t matter who has the title of wife. But, she feels that it would be best if Kara married Duncan so their kids could have his last name. Kelly could take back her maiden name. Think of the children. This makes sense and Duncan and Kara agree.

Duncan FaceTimes Kelly when Kara gives birth. Kelly just completed a scene and is a complete mess: nude and covered in cum. It’s over a year before Kelly gets back to Texas. She stars as a feature dancer at the local strip club. She’s in town for only four days and then it’s back to pornland. Kara’s parents watch the kid. There’s a lactation scene between the girls; and, Kelly convinces Kara and Duncan to try anal for the first time by letting them know that she has had anal with several Duncan size cocks. It’s a first for both of them. They love it.

Kara and Duncan never see Kelly in person again. They do watch each of Kelly’s latest releases after tucking the kids in. They go on to have two more kids and a fairly normal life.

I hope you’re feeling better.

MENTALCASE, Just to alleviate any potential concerns, I do hereby release and assign any intellectual property rights that I may have in my comments below for you to use at your discretion within your Lucky Man series. Best wishes, Spike1969

I actually felt sad that I was finishing the last chapters of this run-through but was relieved that you plan on continuing on with it... I'll be watching for it, thanks for the fun!

It’s been well over a year since this chapter. I guess that since Spike1969 wrote the ending in his comments Mentalcase has decided to let someone else finish? Too bad because I was hoping for a different ending where Kelly would redeem herself.

I'm starting to notice a pattern with the main characters.

Dex and Jesse

Mike and Danni

Duncan and Kelly

They all seem to enjoy sex with other people than they do with their significant other. Kelly seems to really get off with other people. I've never seen her cum as hard for Duncan than she does when she's fucking a stranger. What is the point to all this?

Well shit.

My now ex and I were in the “swinging “ lifestyle for a good bit. It seemed great and all…

But she started with the white lies and just going out on her own…

Now she is my ex. All her kids will NOT speak to her today for all the lies she told over the five year span to all of us.

It might sound like he is a lucky guy… but it will turn into a disaster

I sincerely appreciate the continued interest in my story. I am going to continue it and I hope it will be soon. I'm finishing my other stories first before starting new ones, and I wanted to give this one a break to keep from burning out on it.

Got a chuckle out of mentalcase’s recent comment “I’m finishing my other stories first”. This story and all his other stories have been going on for years and have no real direction heading towards any conclusive ending. I don’t expect him to ever “finish” any of his open stories anytime soon. Not even sure he knows how to end a story!

I’ve lost interest in this story since it’s been over 1 1/2 years since Mentalcase has written a chapter to this story so I don’t really care if he ever finishes it. I hate having to go back and re-read previous chapters to figure out where he left off, who the characters are and what their sexual twists are. Waiting any longer than 6 months between chapters is too long for any story to remain dormant. I wish he would stick to one story and finish it before starting another. However, the crossovers to other stories, that really don’t add anything, causes character confusion and are actually a distraction to each main story, makes it almost impossible to get anything resolved in a timely manner leading towards any story having a conclusion.

Seriously? Kelly, Kara and Duncan consider Danielle as family yet she wants to quit her job and drop out of college to go fuck people in California and no one advises her that perhaps it is a really bad decision? Now maybe in the next chapter she will have waited until school ends and has given notice at her job, which is the very least she should do going to California. But still not one of them bring these issues up before agreeing for her, and Kelly, to jaunt off to California? And she is considered family? Really? Seriously? Obviously I have problems with this situation as it has been discussed in this chapter. It makes them all seem to be so sex-obsessed they are no longer able to think coherently.

Part 2. Kelly stays in Cali. Duncan and kelly divorce, so that Kara and Duncan start a family and get married. Kelly comes to the wedding, preforms oral sex on the couple and says she's happy. Regret fills her mind as she boards a plane back to her new life in California. That thought is quickly pushed away by the penis of the male flight attendant that recognized her. Danielle is adopted and a couple chapters find themselves in the incest category.

Abbreviated from 250k words that part 2 is built from.

4/5

Nato_

you wrote yourself into a corner with this one. sex has become their personalities

This has been an excellent series so far and I am anxiously awaiting more chapters. How bout it? Kelly and Duncan have an amazing marriage. When faced with new relationships that might affect their marriage they talk it through. I love the variety of characters, the mix of over the top sex and emotion, and the loving way they all interact. This is one of the best, if not the best, sharing series on Literotica. Thank you for sharing it with us. Now get back to writing so we can see how this all turns out.

Damn, this story fell off hard. The characters actions and motivations no longer make sense. Everything feels random and their personalities revolve around sex. Kelly is literally abandoning her marriage become a pornstar. The switch in personality has been a bit too extreme and it happened so quickly

the whole porn angle is kinda ruining the sory. like is kelly, sam, alex, kara, gabrielle all gonna become pornstars now? the story was about a group of friends messing about and exploring. Keep it simple, simple is best. this whole california porn shoot feels out of place.

Damn dude. From devoted wife to 3-hole slut in less than 24 chapters. And now she's leaving him to help their "daughter" fuck lots of guys on cam, and to fuck guys on cam herself. Can you say dumpster fire?

I'm really not sure where you expect to go at this point.

You started off with "weak" characters, sexually. And for a while, it was fun watching them push their boundaries. But then you just had them push their boundaries so far, so fast, you hit the point where there's not much else to push. I actually hit the point where you were talking about Saturday Night at the Mess Around and thought, "gee, I wonder if it's going to be another woman's fantasy to be fucked by all the guys and/or girls." You kinda blew right by anal for Kelly, and I'm struggling to think of the last time she has actually been conflicted about anything (beyond going, "should I be conflicted?" and being told "no" and then he going, "OK!"), really stopped something because it was pushing a boundary too far (like....the Italian porn star who shoved his dick into her mouth behind the scenes? That would have been a perfect point for her to want to back off just a tiny bit, set some boundary).

You had a scene where she got freaked out about the idea of being in an open relationship and....then just didn't really care about that and immediately went back to fucking literally everyone who was willing to fuck her.

And at this point, you've had her do most normal-ish sexual acts, you've had her in multiple porns, have her running her own porn website, fucking everyone, and not getting ready to go to CA to presumably do more porn, fuck even more of everyone, and say no to (almost) nothing. If you have her hit a wall and/or back off, that's basically the end of the story (since if she backs off of this lifestyle, so does Duncan, Kara, etc.). If you continue to try to accelerate, it's kinda gotten ridiculous. If you stay the same, it feels like it's floundering.

I think your only answer at this point is to work on wrapping it up.

So, no continuation then?

Is there more coming?

2years 9 months since the last chapter. I'm at the older end of life and I would like to read the conclusion to this story before I die. It is far better than the stories you are currently working on!!