Mackie 02

Mackie 02

Hey there, my update from the last chapter is that Bruce and myself broke up because the pressures from Bruce's mom for him to marry the babysitter were just too much to handle. And not only is that my story and I'm sticking to it, it's the truth! And I even like how Mrs. Banters still boasts about me and my babysitting skills within the Garden Tea Party circles and I still get calls, but, LOL, I could do without all the trending on Preteen Chang! Or on Old Geezer Hubby Chang too!

Anyways, other than the occasional side hook up with Bruce because walking to far away from your first isn't all that easy, that's all in the rearview now and I'm moving forwarding. Well, I had my truck in park where this chapter picks up, but I'm moving passed my babysitter days.

[Weep, a fair warning outgoing text]

"Hank, do not make a fuss!"

[Whoop, a BS response text]

"Hah! Well, can I say well, well, well?"

[Weep, you're a knucklehead outgoing text]

"Once, no more than twice."

I mean, Hank was a senior when I was a freshman and he had my back once and when there is a four years age difference and that general age thing anyways, I mean, sometimes, good deeds go without any payback at all and I'm sure that happens all the time, right?

Also, whew, it was a great lesson about how to use "good deeds without payback" for my school days, but it's just a rumor that I faked my school ID age so I could swindle good deeds from some guys and then flash my age on my ID card to stop everything in it's tracks on the spot. But, tee he, I think I might be the only person ever to fake their age the other way!

Anyways, I had a beer a couple of weeks ago at Bruce's birthday party and there may or may not have been a couple of a "drunk babysitter" moments that I wanted to circle back on to keep my babysitting rep clean, not that I've accepted any of the bazillion incoming babysitting job offers.

[Slow rolls exactly as the two hands motions imply before putting it in park]

"Well, well, well..."

[Thumps two kind of greasy hands down on the truck window edgy thingy, but Hank was smart enough to cover both of his somewhat greasy hands with those blue paper shop towels]

"If it isn't Mack Mackle Jr! That's right, Mack Jr., I'm managing the Tire Shop now and that's right, here you are, in my shop! And I protected your window trim from my greasy hands because we care about our customers vehicles, so, anyways, well, well, well, Mack Jr!"

"Hank, it's Mackie! Mackie, Mackie, Mackie, Mackie! Well, unless you want to be known for taking dry humping liberties with a "Mack or a Mack Jr." when you did a good deed and then rescued me, hmm? I mean, we can go that way, so?"

"Oh, well, well, well, if it isn't wacky Mackie, here, in my tire shop and in need of a tire rotation, so, yeah, once again, yep, here I am, at your rescue again!"

"(Psst, are we through yet, Hank?)"

"(Psst, just one more, Mackie.)"

"OMG, Hank, I paid you back at Chad's graduation party! Paid in full, I say! Can't you remember just two years back, hmm? Have you been breathing too much used tire air lately? I mean, you rescued me once and I'll call EMS to rescue you right now from breathing old rubber air if that's what it takes to prove that we are tied! [Phone pad tap, tap, tap...]"

"[Slaps the hand off of the phone number pad] alright, alright, whacky Mackie wiki woo, that's enough and I'll calm down, but only because the old used rubber air police have actually been sniffing around here lately. Anyways, this might..."

[To the two guys leaning back against the steel bar rail thingy]

"Hi, guys [a quick window hand wave around Hank's widening body since school]"

[Back to a frustrated Hank]

"Ahem, this might take a while..."

[From the two tire workers leaning against the steel bar railing thingy]

"Hey here."

"Sup."

[Back to a frustrated Hank]

"Ahem, this might take a while for a tire rotation..."

[To the two guys leaning back against the steel bar rail thingy]

"I like your work shirts, guys."

[Back to a frustrated Hank]

"Ahem, this might take a while for a tire rotation, so if you want..."

[From the two tire workers leaning against the steel bar railing thingy]

"The color or the style?"

"Or the front pockets and badge patches?"

[Back to a frustrated Hank]

"Ahem, this might take a while for a tire rotation, so if you want to get out of..."

[To the two guys leaning back against the steel bar rail thingy]

"All four things, guys. Are they straight cut at the bottom or tapered?"

[Back to a frustrated Hank]

"Ahem, this might take a while for a tire rotation, so if you want to get out of your truck and have..."

[From the two tire workers leaning against the steel bar railing thingy]

"Straight cut, I guess."

"They don't have a tail, if that's what you're asking."

[Back to a frustrated Hank]

"Excuse me, ahem, this might take a while for a tire rotation, so if you want to get out of your truck and have a seat in our waiting..."

[To the two guys leaning back against the steel bar rail thingy]

"Can I buy one? I'm a costume themed party person now, so?"

[Back to a frustrated Hank]

"As I was saying, ahem, this might take a while for a tire rotation, so if you want to get out of your truck and have a seat in our waiting guest area and watch..."

[From the two tire workers leaning against the steel bar railing thingy]

"You ever been a milk delivery lady?"

"Like you were the babysitter? (The drunk babysitter)"

[Back to a frustrated Hank]

"OMFG, as I was saying, ahem, this might take a while for a tire rotation, so if you want to get out of your truck and have a seat in our waiting guest area and watch TV or play Keno while..."

[To the two guys leaning back against the steel bar rail thingy]

"Oh, um, how many times do I have to say "I mean" to explain my poor babysitter behavior then, hmm, guys?"

[Back to a frustrated Hank]

"Ugh, as I was saying, ahem, this might take a while for a tire rotation, so if you want to get out of your truck and have a seat in our waiting guest area and watch TV or play Club Keno while my crew services your truck..."

[From the two tire workers leaning against the steel bar railing thingy]

"Three times should do it."

"Three times sounds about right."

[To the two guys leaning back against the steel bar rail thingy]

"Oh, I mean, well, I mean, I mean, I mean, I don't drink much and I think I'm embarrassed that the two girls had to stagger walk me into a bedroom to lay down and I promise you that if I had a banana in each of my dangling hands, I mean, I mean, I mean, I can't sleep without a midnight snack, so, I mean, I mean, I mean, that's what I mean, so?"

[Back to an increasingly frustrated Hank]

"SOB, ahem, ahem, ahem, as I've been trying to say without the veins in my head exploding..."

"(Psst, Hank, I know that I can get out of my truck, but I have another embarrassing problem right now [points down inside of the truck like a crazy bag lady], see?"

Um, well, nope, Hank didn't see, I guess. But tee he, I mean, throb, throb, throb went the veins in his receding hairline forehead, tee he.

"(Psst, OMFG, Hank, I'm wearing flats! I've been pointing down at my shoes like a crazy bag lady! I can't step out of my truck in front of those guys in flats! Psst!)"

Ka-boom! But Hank held his head so tightly between his hands that his entire head didn't explode into pieces.

[From the two tire workers leaning against the steel bar railing thingy]

"Are you getting out then? And I'm Robert or Rob, but I wouldn't be mad if you called me Robby."

"You should get out. And I'm Bob or Bobby and I wouldn't mind if you called me Bobby."

[To the two guys leaning back against the steel bar rail thingy]

"Oh, I mean, how many times do I need to say "I mean" this time to explain why I'm not getting out of my truck then, hmm?"

"{Robby} four this time."

"{Bob} four, like how many tires we're going to rotate on your truck in a minute."

"Well, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm wearing flats, Robby and I'm Mackie, Robby, so?"

"{Bob} wait, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, wait a minute!"

Well, the eye catches what the eye catches, am I right or wrong, hmm? And I think I caught Robby's eye at Bruce's birthday when I had to pee after being passed out in Bruce's bed.

"Bob, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'll be your personal beer service attendant for two beers the next we're at party together, okay?"

Well, spitting on the floor inside of the Tire Shop wasn't very nice of him.

"But you're going to bring a XXS Tire Shop shirt after you stomp around and rant and rave a little bit, right Bob? Bob?"

Well, Robby will get me one.

[A dirty Tire Shop floor slide in up to the open truck window]

"So, you say you have a flat tire then, Mackie?"

"Robby, I'm wearing flats, not having a flat tire. However, getting back on track, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, if we were to find ourselves in a make out moment in the near future, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, it would be nice to know in advance if you would attempt to seduce me with spiked used rubber tire air, so, confess the truth, Robby."

"Aww, no way, whacky Mackie, I'll bring Molly!"

Shoot! That's legit. I mean, at a Rave party anyways.

[Swirl, swirl, swirl, swirl, whack, right upside of the head through the truck window]

Oh, well, I got my Tire Shop shirt anyways! And a headache.

"Thanks, Bob."

[Swirl, swirl, swirl, swirl, swirl, whack, again, right upside of the head through the truck window]

Huh and a pair of tire shop changing baggy pants! And another headache.

"Suck bad rubber air, Bob! And thanks for the uniform costume, but you know, thanks, but still suck bad air, Bob!"

Well, huh! He did. And straight from an old tire needle nozzle thingy in the corner and I hope my butt crack doesn't hang out like that when I go down on Robby's air needle nozzle tube thingy after he slips me a Molly.

"Mm, mm, mm, I hope you look just like that when you suck my bad air, tee he, right, Mackie?"

Well, I suppose the positioning is about the same whether you're leaning down on a tire nozzle needle thingy or a needle sized thingy like Robby seemed to have, I suppose. Or maybe it was just the baggy work pants that fooled me about his bulge, I don't know, I took two smacks to the head, so, I mean, things were a little fuzzy to me. I mean, you've seen the cardboard packaging that they use to fold clothing, right? A squared up folded shirt is like a flying weapon!

But then things settled down and the rotation of my tires began. And having my truck sightly up off of the ground level gave Robby plenty of opportunities to steal quick lip pecks every time he walked past my open truck window. Which was cool until I started to feel woozy on top of already being fuzzy from the used rubber air that flowed from his lungs with every stolen kiss.

[Thumps two kind of greasy hands down on the truck window edgy thingy by Hank, who, tee he, seems to be more relieved now since he disappeared in the office trying to keep head from exploding, although his smirk says that his other head exploded]

"Well, well, well, look who needs another rescue! You look a little woozy and fuzzy there, Mack Jr., ugh, I mean, whacky Mackie wiki woo, so?"

[A limp body Mackie all woozy and fuzzy in the front seat of his truck, which would be a dream for a side fag, except for, OMFG, flats!]

"(Woozy) date rape (fuzzy) dialing (woozy) police (fuzzy) date rape, Hank (woozy), charges double when (fuzzy) date raped in flats (woozy), pressing call (gasps for air) tab button now..."

Well, I can't say it works every time, but it worked that time.

[A happy $0 Parts, $0 Labor tire rotation plus a free complete uniform wave backwards out of the window, yay]

"Bye, guys!"

I mean, it wasn't exactly free since Hank did have my back once.

[Weep, outgoing distracted driving text to Hank the side fag hero]

"I send U a pizza from Pizza Shop, Hank???"

Well, he didn't respond, so, Hank was probably taking Tire Shop inventory or you know, inhaling bad used rubber tire air and whacking off over the security camera footage of my 30 minutes in the Tire Shop, right?

[Meanwhile, back in the Tire Shop's office]

"(Inhales from needle nozzle) ahh (fap, fap, fap) ooh, stolen kisses (fap, fap, fap) ahh, Mackie kicked a shoe off (inhales more used rubber tire air) ahh [fap, fap, fap) oh, challenge me with date rape charges (fap, fap, fap) I'll show you (inhales from nasty needle nozzle again) and (fap, fap, fap) whack off over you every day (inhales the endless supply of bad air) so take that, whacky Mackie [buzz, buzz, buzz, missed text], snap, argh, argh, argh, ooh, ahh, ahh."

[Whoop, a lazy from the office desk casual response text]

"I wasn't doing anything, Mackie! Also, okay on pizza! And smokes!"

Hmm, the math on that one, right?

[The Pizza Shop front door chime jingle, jangle]

"Ahh, Mackie, I have your extra-large, man meat lover's pizza ready to go. Are you sure you don't want me to sprinkle it with poison because that Hank guy can only take so much and sooner or later, the two of you will find yourselves in a situation, so?"

"Tee he, not this time, Suzie, but thanks for having my back. Also, ahem, please tell your little brother that I can tell it's not your mom's voice on my babysitting hotline number voicemail!"

"Oh, you have my little brother all wrong, Mackie, since I've become a Congi half step sister, Congi Sia Lia Mia, I mean, he has seen the light and he wants hair style tips so he might be considered as a half, half, step Congi brother in six years or something. But he might still be in his impressionable years, so, I'll scold him later about pinning your babysitter photos on his bedroom wall. Um, what's with the neatly, meaning wrinkled clothing, then, hmm?"

"Oh, I mean, it's my dirty Tire Changer costume and I was going to try it on in your Pizza Shop's restroom and you know, I could use a couple of tips on how to put on and wear a manly man's work uniform, so?"

"Oh, no, my precious boyfriend, Jimmy J is not going to show you how to wear an oversized, baggy and wrinkled men's work uniform in the restroom! My two years of cucking him is almost complete!"

[Slips a small plastic container across the counter]

"Hah! It's empty, knucklehead!"

[Oops]

[Slips a photo across the counter]

"Hah! That's illegal, but keep talking, Mackie."

Are ten old used tires still filled with bad air for getting high really illegal? Especially inside of a goth underground club, hmm?

[The Pizza Shop front door chime jingle, jangle]

"Well, well, well, Suzie, half step sister, Congi Sia Lia Mia! You've out done yourself this time by ordering ten old used tires filled with bad air for untraceable getting high and buzzed purposes to line the walls of my goth underground club! Is there..."

"(Gulp) Mr. Chambers? Mr. Fat with Cash Chambers, who is just now barely 29 and single and pretty hot and fat with goth club cash, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean..."

"Is there a place where we can talk in private about a promotion for you, Suzie, from Goth Club Queen to Goth Club Goddess (and wife), hmm? And can I bring, um, roll, this old used tire with us too, hmm?"

[Thump, an almost flat used tire still filled with old used air thumps more than rolls]

"(Psst, if I get pregnant you little...)"

[Slides the real small plastic container across the table filled with Molly pills from Robby]

"(Psst, Congi Wacky Mackie Wiki Woo has a ring to it, Suzie as a baby Congi name.)"

"(Psst, if I ever accidently rub your Mack Jr., it will by accident, Mackie!)"

[Roll, thump, almost flat used tire, roll, thump towards the back office, roll, hip bump game]

Well, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, OMG, Jimmy J wasn't even there!

"Well, well, well, Mackie! I'm experienced now, Mackie!"

"Timmy, shut it and take this pizza up to the Tire Shop! And it's free for Hank."

"Hah! Okay, but first, ah-hah, I was Jimmy J's cover story for getting sucked off at the Congi house two weeks ago because he's never been cucked over the past two years and ah-hah, I had two of the Congi half-brothers fighting over me, so, ah-hah, this is where you crumble for me, whacky Mackie!"

I did not crumble.

"Ah-hah back at you, Timmy! And how many times did you pass out from their Congi half-brothers fake and tease bickering back and forth over you, hmm, Timmy?"

"Well, I passed out over each teasing only bickering, but they both touched my arms, so, hah, bow to me, Mackie because I'm a man now, so, bow!"

I did not bow to him. I didn't even let that little freak in the restroom with me while I tried on the tire Changer uniform.

"How do I look, Sal?"

"Huh, what, um, I mean, I've been ignored for the last year and a half while everyone else is sexing this way and that way and now someone talks to me, huh? Also, just where am I? Is this old the folks home kitchen?"

Well, Sal's like 87 or something, so. Anyways, my new costume uniform had less wrinkles on it than Sal's neck, so, if I weren't still wearing flats, I would have taken a stroll up the Strip.

End Mackie 02