All Comments on 'Manhandled'

too choppy

There's another story named Manhandled by ZacharyFagg. You could learn something from it.

Many many years ago I found a story on CompuServe about a guy getting fucked (by his fishing buddy) for the first time. It jumped back and forth like your story did, but much more slowly, maybe 6 paragraphs at a time. I enjoyed it a lot, so I'm not completely allergic to jumping back and forth, but I thought your quick cuts were just too spastic to let me enjoy getting aroused.