by VintageWine2
Hav'nt `I been there... lovely story, well done and so you should be!!!
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I really tried but could not get past several paragraphs. Your writing style is awkward, is stumbling making it difficult to follow. Too elementary - fifth grade level.
This story is my highest rated, at over 4.6. It's had over 160,000 views over the decade. So your patronising critique certainly tells us more about you than it does about me and my story, Mr anonymous :)