by Jwallace23
You need an editor, or someone to read your stories to catch the typos and mistakes that in this one, are all through the story... ...unfortunately, they really do take away from it, and while the idea was somewhat interesting, it just didn't 'grab' me in the way it was told. Also, you should indicate that this is Chapter or Part 1 up front, not as the last sentence.
Good luck in the future.
870 words part 1 with no ch 1 in the heading? For that matter, an 870 word part 1?
For suspension of disbelief you need the story to be at least slightly believable. An 11 inch penis is unable to get erect because the blood pressure required to attain one would cause a stroke. Take a tape measure and check yourself. You will be surprised to see if you are 6 and a half at most if measured along the top.
read rather poorly. felt like a string of topics glued together with no thought process to weave each action into each other.