All Comments on 'Mary in the Pleasant Light'

Interesting story. Could you try writing another one where a spoiled arrogant teen is magically stripped spanked and molested by a housekeeper who practices Voodo and uses a Barbie doll in the teens image Thanks

The story lacked clarity. You need to watch your pronouns too many her's and she without letting your reader who you are referring to. I would suggest rereading before posting. If it isn't crystal clear of what you are writing about that will let you know that the reader won't have a clue either and will either find something else to read or ignore your stories altogether.

Also, you never mentioned how he unclothed her or expound on what significance the changing of the light was all about. You left your readers in the dark.

Thanks for your review, this story was an exercise in magical realism, the pronouns were a bit complicated for me in this case, because I wanted to leave very open the question of Samy about whether he is a boy or a girl, maybe that was the most complex for my writing, plus English is not my mother tongue, you must excuse me.

Interesting, if not too vague