All Comments on 'Max and the Lamp Ch. 06'

Good stroke stuff but I'd like to see you fold in the emotional side. Does Jenny want a permanent relationship with Max? What about Mom - is it just sex? How far has the genie's influence able to reach now (she didn't make an appearance in this chapter). Slight plot gap - they ordered chinese and went to get showers but it never arrived?

First it was Sally. Then it was Mary. You swapped some character names. This creates confusion for the reader.

Max is one lucky fucker! Jen as no slouch either! Great descriptive writing, Keep going.

decent, but you have some continuity issues and jumps in the story that doesn't match. Get an editor who does more than just fix punctuation for you.

When, and more importantly, WHO is Sally?

Cant wait for the next episode! Keep em cumming

Really fun chapter

Once again, Max did notask about birth control.

How is sally involved in this scene

Whoa hot story but edits are needed. Max & Jenny OK but interchanging Sally & Mary is just poor form, getting pronouns wrong and leaving out words is such a drag on the readability of the chapter. Especially as you had been pretty good up to now. There is also a big continuity issue. Where did Mary spring from & how did she get into the action. Sally’s involvement in the meantime was building nicely & what the hell happened at the gym. Where did the MILF Mary’s mum go & poor LeRoy just sort of disappeared. Please please look at the detail of the story & proof read properly.