All Comments on 'Me and Dad Ch. 01'

I hate teasers.

what in cthulhu's name did I just read?

Lame. That was...well...omfg why would you just leave it there? There's nothing to suggest that she will go for it or anything. Stop while you're behind, please.

So badly written, lack of punctuation, run-on sentences, misspelled words, words capitalized that don't need to be capitalized... Why the hell does the word "denim" need to be capitalized? Do you just pick words at random? How did your dad "brake" his arm, by the way. Most people would have written "...a bad fall at work, breaking his right arm and right leg, and crushing his pelvis." Not you though. Nope. "...a bad fall at work braking his right arm his right leg and crushing his pelvis" manages to mangle spelling, punctuation, and basic grammar ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

You deserve every negative comment you're going to get.

Author, if you know the grammar and spelling sucks, why post this shit?

Don't write anymore. You give this site a bad name.

In the first sentence when the 'writer' admitted that the grammar sucked.

Not very good, you could use a program like Open Office to help with your grammar and spelling.

Your story started out well and you had my full attention and then.....I was like, "Thats it?" Way too short and incomplete, I'm sorry, I gave you the lowest rating possible because this isnt a story but an introduction......

Yes the grammar was bad, but you stated that from the start so I don't think you are at fault. The story caught my attention and had amazing potential, but you ended it too soon and not a proper ending or cliffhanging point. However, I'd love to hear more to that story!

It seems you are very new at writing, I suggest you look through the FAQ for writers. I could try to come up a catchy saying to insult you, but I think that has been done enough. Readers must be able to visualize the story through your description. I came up with very little to see in my mind. Keep trying and please do use something like Open Office, or Libre Office. Those are both free office suites that correct spelling and grammar a little. What you wrote would be something like a concept of a story to add more later. Good Luck

RS

It actually does have the potential to become a very good story. As a first chapter this was great let's see the rest of it. As far as the grammar etc. I'm not an English teacher so I don't need to be impressed by that. I'm here to be entertained and this story did that. Great job! Write some more. Let's see where you go with this.

wish could get more of where this goes

But the storyline is very interesting.

A good start and I hope to see more soon.

Thanks for the read

While there are some with a fair point the comments remind me of earlier days in lit; when I wished mandatory education in humanity was at my disposal. It's been some time since the fat headed dorks let their shit splurge on a new author. If the profile is accurate, to any degree, ur trashing your grannie. Wouldn't surprise me.

If the story hangs at all it seems like a tentative step to explore a concern, mixed with the questionable pleasures of "getting to know dad". An exploration of possibly guilty enjoyment? Enjoyment the key. Aim: to pleasure other's imaginations.

The ------- nutters in comments have ruled out any possible catharsis. And at the same time re older lit readers, and other open minds, closed an avenue of enjoyment and empathy. If the cells are still ticking over u can imagine perhaps the trash heap where such commentators clearly belong. Perhaps.

I have held real world editing, local publishing, writing, and press officer posts.

Hope u can make sense of this comment feedback. I will not apologise, you will know if this is not aimed at your comment, you would not be back to read this anyway.

PS My other earlier concern was boring writers, or moral moaners, exploiting the non erotic classification, tho' the shits' speel there was limited. Perhaps because on average such were better educated????? Or more likely unread by such people??