All Comments on 'Meeting a Woman 02: At College'

There is real depth in this romance story, with excellent characters. The plot has a slow build, but is well done, and certainly engaging to the reader. The love scenes are well-written, but rather too short. One can only hope for more from this excellent author.

Great depth to this story. I loved Nic and Fi -- Joey and Josephine. They make a fine loving couple! I somehow pictured the growing Joey with a nice patch of chest hair to tease Fi's breasts as they brushed against his chest. Great writing!

Oh my God 😲.

A thirty-two hour drive from whitefish to Ohio.

*

*

*

*

AMerryman

Enjoy the story.

But not much dramatic tension after he started working for her father.

Gave you 4⭐️'s.

Thanks very much. Keep practicing 🙂.

*

*

*

*

AMerryman

The story was a well written romance. My only problem were with the editing, in particular using carrot instead of caret when describing the diamond. There were a number of other malapropisms as well. Still 5*

You need to stop reciting stories in the 3rd person, makes it extremely boring. There is no need for it, just have the two interacting. Not my style of story but could be much better without 3rd person narration.

No words to say about the story, that can't be improved upon, there were a few errors in gender and who was talking. but nothing bad. Over all I can't say it could have been any better. I look forward to your next story.

Hi! Great effort, it’s a long story, currently reading it. I want to make a few comments helping you. I would:

- Stop writing 3rd person. You have nice characters which we can grow to like. Make them tell their stories, make us line them. In my opinion, 3rd person should be kept for specific situations or preparing a paragraph. Not a complete story.

- When a character is narrating, let the text as a paragraph. When someone speaks, use « ». It will make reading and understanding easier for readers.

All the best for writing.

Great romantic story. 5stars

Stopped on page 5 or 6. The male lead seems too saint-like and his dialogue (monologue?) seems rather stilted... the story really needs an editor. "Guess who walks into the first training class? Yep, you guessed it. It was very odd how it reminded me of almost exactly how their first meeting with the hiking club turned out.". WEIRD interjection of "me" (author) in the middle. That's just one example. A nice romance but glacial. So far the whole I-wouldn't-have-a-relationship-freshman-year seems contrived, as does the super-wise and doting daddy... Warm and fuzzy, but not tight or focused. I will resume reading. Story has great potential but the main characters are growing annoying in their obtuseness.

Whew - what a long read. Mostly good, but at times painful. For most of the story you didn't separate out narrative for each character, making it very hard to read/follow at times. Ditto on the third person narrative, especially when it was blended into the actual characters speaking. The relationship build you presented was something straight out of the 50's, but hey, that's your prerogative. Some of the points made in their relationship are noteworthy for our current young adults to consider. I do think their drawn-out courtship could have been condensed without detracting from the overall story arc. I'll probably kick myself later due to the length of your stories, but reach out to me if you still need an editor. I'm assisting a few writers already in some other genres. Might be interesting playing in the Romance section. 4* overall.