Meeting a Woman 03: At the Airport

"I assume you have already made my arrangements back home because it seems in your character to take care of me?"

"I have. You will only need to call this number on your way to the airport so that the pilot can file the flight plan. There will also be a car waiting for you when you arrive to take you home. Here is my lawyer's info. I'm sure your lawyer will want to reach out at some point."

"Landon, I need two things from you before I go. One, I want you to go see a professional that can help you through this as well. This isn't something that happened to just me. I can see the guilt that you have eating at you, and I want you to be strong for me because I truly believe that I will be back very soon. Two, I refuse to leave without getting a hug from you. This isn't a slave requesting in from her Master. This is Julia asking Landon for a goodbye hug as two friends do when leaving. Promise me that you will do those two things and then I will be on my way. You don't want to see my bitch mode Landon." She said the last part with a big smile on her face.

He relented and told her ok. She came to him and wrapped her arms around his head and brought him down to her. He did what he always liked to do and wrapped his arms around her waist and then stood up straight and brought her feet off the floor. He liked the quick breath from her and then the increase of her grip around him and of course the body pressure against him that came from holding her up.

Neither seemed to be able to stop the hug but he eventually patted her back and they released. She did sneak in a kiss on his cheek on the way back.

"Make sure you keep up your end of the bargain and I'll be back before you know it, Landen." She turned and walked out the door.

He went to his study and just sat for most of the rest of the day. He just couldn't wrap his head around everything. It was a simple mistake that had a great many ramifications. Sometime after the sun went down he moved from the chair in the study to his bed but he continued to just think. Sleep wouldn't come to him.

He got out of bed in time to shower and get ready for his meeting with his lawyer. He looked and felt bad. He had become friends with Randy not long after his divorce and he needed to find an attorney that he could trust to help guide him through business and personal needs. He knew of Landen's lifestyle and didn't have any issues with it. He had put together a few short-term contracts for him and two of his subs that wanted something in writing.

Randy was surprised at how he looked and told him so. You will understand after I tell you the story. He went on to describe the mistake and then the next two days of absolute enjoyment. Then there was the day of reckoning yesterday morning when, surprise, Connie was actually Julia.

Randy told him that if this wasn't so serious that it would be a very funny story. He asked him why he wasn't picking him up at the police station instead of having this conversation at his office.

"Randy, sometime after the first scene was over, she got it in her mind that she actually liked it. She told me she had read some BDSM books before but would never have sought out a relationship or acted on those thoughts. I have several concerns. I told her to go home and get the best lawyer she could find to inform her of her options and that I'd pay for it. I also suggested that she find a therapist that specializes in sexual topics to help her sort out her emotions. My fear is that she has some type of Stockholm Syndrome and that what she thinks she feels isn't real and that she will one day snap out of it and want my head. I also want to set up some type of money instrument where I can put money in for her. I don't mean it as buying her, I just want her to not have money concerns if she is unable to function in society after what I did to her. Those are my thoughts. Now tell me how crazy I am."

"You are the biggest idiot I've ever worked for. You will be lucky to have a dime to your name while you rot in prison for the next 30 years with your new boyfriend Bubba. Let's review in case your mind isn't working. You illegally drugged a young, beautiful woman, kidnapped her, took her to your dungeon, chained her to many things, molested & raped her in every way, and beat her for two days. It won't matter to a jury if it was all a case of mistaken identity, how the circumstances just happened to align, or if you show these emails from the real Connie. No matter how we boil this down, you still committed major felonies that will require hard time to be served."

"I know Randy. If she comes after me, I won't fight it at all. I'll pay whatever the restitution is and serve my time. I deserve both or worse for what I've taken from her. All I need you to do is mitigate things for me within those parameters and come visit me in prison."

"I don't have any contact information for her Randy. I don't know where she lives. Her name is Julia Bennington. I only know her name and that I want her to be with me. Before she revealed herself to me, I was all set to invite her to come and stay for a week or forever if she wanted. She is the most complete woman I have ever been with. I've fallen hard for her Randy and the ball is in her court. Please let me know when you have something for me or when you hear from her lawyer."

"Will do my friend. Call me, especially if you need to talk to a non-lawyer. I won't even charge you for the first call. And if you should get arrested, do me a favor, don't talk or answer any questions at all. I understand how you want things to go, but we still have a way where we can do that without completely falling on your sword."

When he got home he knew he had another difficult call to make. He started with a text to Connie and told her he owed her a very big apology and an even bigger explanation. He asked if she could let him know he could call her. He didn't wait very long at all and his phone rang.

"Hello, Connie. Did you want to start yelling right away or hear my story first?"

"I think story first and it had better be a good one mister." At least she giggled a little.

"Well, you and I had a great time all the way up until you told me your name was Julia and not Connie. So here is what happened."

30 minutes later he was finishing his side of the story. He spared some detail but she understood what was supposed to happen and could fill in the details.

"I'm just so confused right now. I don't know if I'm going to prison or getting married. Either one will probably be a life sentence."

"Well, my story isn't even close to yours, but I was rather surprised when I got to the job interview and kept expecting you to show up. I thought you had gone to a lot of trouble to get this far into the scene. We finally started figuring out what was going on when they stopped calling Ms. Bennington and asked if they could call me Julia. Needless to say, they took me back to the airport and I booked a flight home. I tried calling you but couldn't get to you in any of our normal ways."

"When I thought we had the weekend together, I shut off or silenced all of my stuff so that I wouldn't be bothered.

"Well, I must say, Landen, as funny as the story could be, it could be just as serious for you. I sure hope it works out for you. If this were to go to trial or something, please know that I'll gladly testify on your behalf. I do appreciate your calling to let me know what happened. It would have been so much easier for you to just ghost me. I could tell you were a good man from our conversations and this just reinforces my opinion of you. I am sorry this has happened to you too."

"If it is alright with you, I probably won't contact you for a while unless it is for court. I don't think I will feel like playing for a long while now. I know my heart wouldn't be in it. I'm sorry this has affected you as well."

"You are probably right on that Landen. Thank you for our time together, I really did enjoy it. Goodbye."

"Goodbye Connie."

Well, that went about as well as one could hope for. Now to find a therapist. He called the club and asked for a referral from them. He figured someone they would recommend would understand the lifestyle and might have the best approach in helping him put together the pieces that were scattered around in his mind.

It was still well before noon so he tried the therapist's number and was able to make an appointment for that same afternoon. He hadn't eaten anything since their potato chip midnight snack the night before so he forced himself to have some lunch. He still wasn't hungry but did it anyway. He checked in with his staff and everything was as normal as ever. His driver did say that his guest cried a little on the way to the airport but was ok when he dropped her off. He commented that she was very nice and polite to him.

He arrived at Dr. Stafford's office and was pleased that it was a woman. He hoped she would be able to empathize with Julia's thoughts better than a man might be able to. He thanked her for being able to see him right away. He said he was confused, hurting, and needed her help. She asked him to start from the beginning and she might ask questions as he went along.

He told the same story as he shared with his lawyer only this time he did include as much detail as needed. He asked her at one point if more or less detail would help her understand and she did ask for a little more. She didn't need graphic details but additional detail could help her understand each of their mindsets a little better.

She asked a few clarifying questions about how Julia had described to him when her mind switched over to being a willing participant. She wanted to understand the exact words that Julia chose to describe that moment to him.

When he was done with the story, she said the same thing everyone else has said. If it wasn't so serious, then it would be a very funny story. She asked again what kind of help he wanted from her. He explained that he was carrying a lot of guilt for what he did to an innocent woman. He was concerned that her being ok with it was some type of Stockholm Syndrome effect. The fact that they both seemed to have at least the start of feelings for each other was another confusing wrench thrown into the gears working in his mind.

"Well, number one, I'm not here to absolve you of your sins or I'm not a deity to forgive you. If you are feeling guilty you need to understand where the guilt is coming from. Based on the facts as you laid them out to me, it was a major set of events that made this possible, you were acting in good faith that you had the right woman and permission to do the things you described to her. My read of you is as someone that doesn't make a lot of mistakes, but when you do they are usually royal screw ups. So I might suggest that some of your guilt is actually another feeling masquerading as guilt. You're mad at yourself for letting this happen, however infinitesimal the odds were for this to happen. You are still beating yourself up over this and calling it guilt."

"Please know that I do believe that you are feeling guilt, but it is for a different reason. Point three you wanted help with was the fact that apparently, you both are developing a fondness for one another. Let me explain your guilt more simplistically and then see if you can see the parallels to your situation. Let's say you are walking down the street and bump into a young girl walking with her mother. When you bumped her the little girl fell down into a water puddle and ruined her dress. It appeared that they were going somewhere that required a fancy dress. Now, can you see where your guilty feelings come from in this situation? You found yourself having an accident but it caused inconvenience to the mother, who knows what ripple effect that it might have if they had been going to a viewing of a loved one, or who knows what else."

"Would you feel justified feeling guilty about what happened in this example?" He replied that he would.

"Ok, let's tweak the example slightly. Let's say it was you, your wife, and your daughter and you bumped your own daughter. Would you feel even more guilty than the first example?"

"I believe I would."

"So by using these more simplistic examples, can we then predict that when an accident we caused occurs to someone we care about, there might be greater feelings of guilt for us because of that connection we have with them?"

"I think I see what you are saying. My guilt is amplified in this case because of my developing feelings for Julia. I'm hurting more than normal because I care for her. Can I go as far as to say that if I'm being honest with myself, I think I even love her? I've been hesitant to allow myself to even think of the word love."

"You repeated it back to me the way I wanted you to see it. I'm not saying that is the only answer. There could be many more feelings that are causing this amplification that you mentioned. That will be something that you will need to continue to work out for yourself. I would even suggest additional sessions"

"The last topic you had was your idea of Stockholm Syndrome. I can see why you would be concerned with something like this. But from the literature that I've read on this, this is more of a long-term situation where the mind tries to protect itself from something very savage. What you have described to me doesn't appear that it is to that level. Especially when you consider your care for her during and after each scene. Now I'm not ruling it out completely because we don't know her history or what triggers she might have, but I doubt that would be the case."

"I think this will be a good stopping point for us today. I have another appointment that I must prepare for. I would like to see you at least once more to see how you are processing things in about a week or sooner if you feel less confident that you are getting better. Will that work for you?"

"I think I would like that. You have helped me focus my thoughts in all of this chaos and I thank you for that. I have never had what I might term a mental health episode, but this had me concerned. Could we possibly talk next week about how I might approach this when I do speak to Julia? I want to make sure that I'm not overly concerned or play it off to cool. She was confident that she understood herself, but I insisted. So if an apology is needed for pushing her away, I want to be sure that I handle that appropriately. I understand that you are here to give relationship advice, but if there is a way for you to help me come to my own conclusion on that topic I would appreciate it."

"I'll put it in my notes as an item for next week, Landen."

"Thanks, Dr. Stafford, I'll see you next week."

He made an appointment for the following week with her assistant and left to return home. That started the most boring phase of his life. He didn't feel like doing anything. He was just bored. His time with the doctor did help him process his feelings. He still felt very guilty, but now it was on a scale that was more realistic for him and one that was not so debilitating mentally.

The next time he left the house was for his appointment with Dr. Stafford. She again helped him clarify his understanding of his feelings and gave him suggestions for ways he may want to think about with his approach with Julia if given the opportunity in the future.

When he got back home, he decided that he needed to get motivated to do something. He hadn't sat down at the computer and written something for a long time. Maybe he needed to see what came out. He brainstormed ideas for a while and came up with three. They were all erotic in nature. He had never tried this genre so it could be fun.

His ideas were:

1. Work teammates exchanging nonsexual favors that lead to a bond

2. Staring contest between close opposite-sex college friends

3. A guy on a Harley stops at a red light next to a girl on a crotch rocket

He thought more about where the plots might go with each of the ideas. The favors idea seemed like it would just be a "friends with favors" with them getting close to each other and then becoming a couple. All of that with sex scenes. The staring contest might be even harder. Where would you build the tension in their relationship? But the one with the bikes could have a thousand different ways to add tensions that almost wrote itself. Bike brands, helmet/no helmet, different clubs with different attitudes, etc.

He started doing some outlining for plot ideas and was starting to get excited about the project. He didn't know if it would be a full book or just something that would occupy his time. He did like the fact that his mind was working again and the thought of pouring his creative juices into something was making him feel alive again.

By the end of the day, he had about 5,000 words on the computer and had introduced the main characters, and some of their friends, and they had planned their first date. By the end of the week, and after several rewrites of a few sections, he was at 40,000 words. With what he had outlined, he thought 80-90,000 words could be done without dragging out the plot too far.

The challenging thing for him was writing the sex scenes. He wanted them to progress over time, but he wasn't pacing himself to save something for the end of the book. If he kept up this pace they would be having sex on a circus trapeze by the end of the book. That was the major cause of the rewrites. He caught his issue early enough it didn't cause too much hassle.

By the end of the following week, he was at 65,000 words and was finding time between writing sessions to go do other things. He was trying to get more exercise, read a good book, and jump in the kitchen some days with Frederick to cook some meals. His mind was healing. He still missed Julia and thought a lot about how she was doing, but he wasn't getting depressed about it.

It was in the fourth week after she left that he heard from his lawyer. It was a message from Julia to Landen.

Landen,

I wanted to tell you that I am doing well. I miss you.

I found a lawyer and promptly fired him after all he wanted to do was go after you. My current lawyer is doing as you asked me to find out. He explained my options as he sees them and is waiting for my direction on what steps to take next if any.

My therapy sessions have been really good. I found a good one the first time. Her eyebrows raised a few times as I explained what playing meant in our lifestyle but she hasn't judged me. I told her specifically your concerns about my mental state and she understood your thoughts but didn't think that Stockholm Syndrome was something to be worried about with this.

We are finding things out about me that we are exploring. It isn't anything bad, just learning more deeply about myself. I hope to share that with you in the future.

I haven't missed any work since getting home and nobody seems to notice anything different about me. I share that as an example of how I'm doing and that it proves what you said to me that the things we did and what I willingly shared with you didn't change me. My therapist even said that you must be very sensitive to me to be able to sense that is what I needed to hear that reassurance from you at that point. She said she wished some of her colleagues had half that much perception of their patients. I probably wasn't supposed to share that part though. LOL.

I know that you would be worried about me and I wanted to let you know my update and progress. I will plan to share another update with you soon.

Julia

He debated with himself if he should send something back to her. He waited until the next day and decided that he wanted to give her the same reassurance that she had given him.

Julia,

Thank you so much for giving an update. I also miss you.