All Comments on 'Meeting Sue for the 1st Time'

this could be much more effective if you varied the sentence structure (too many sentences start with "I"), make sure subject and verbs agree, and use quotations around dialogue, even just one word like "Hi". I found it extremely odd that her husband/boyfriend came along, but then disappeared for awhile. Try a volunteer editor the next time. Your ideas are OK but this presentation is frankly a bit amateurish.