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Click hereShe was breathless. A choice. Not just stuck with one thing. A real choice between two futures, two very different futures. "You'd do that for me?"
"Yes. You would be a big help. They don't know to look for you, so you could do the things that would give them clues if I did them. More important I love you. I need you, and you're too good to be wasted as some rich man's love-slave."
Wow, she thought. It worked, even on Malcolm. She really didn't want to be a slave. Watch the owner gradually lose interest, start lending her to friends, with each step down getting more desperate to attract him but desperation only attracts predators. Malcolm would want to lend her to cops and loansharks, but she could demand things in return. A much more equal relationship. "Yes. I'll go with you."
Malcolm whooped! He shouted and jumped up and down. Other men started coming in the room. "She said yes! She said yes!" They applauded and there were some whistles and cheers.
She asked, "What's going on?"
One of the men explained, "The show is over. Now we take you home."
Malcolm took his turn. "Elaine, at the beginning I told you it was going to be a big mindfuck. Now there are a couple of things I'll never tell you. You said you looked at a website that offered to do something kind of like this. Was that a coincidence, or did they hack your account and find out who you were? You'll never know. Second, you gave them a safeword. Would it have ended if you'd given the safeword?"
"I gave you the safeword."
"You gave me the phrase I told you was a safeword. Did you ever give the safeword you chose yourself?"
"No."
"You'll never know whether it would have worked."
"I got raped multiple times before the gag came off to let me give the safeword."
"Well, yes. A girl who hasn't had sex might do all kinds of crazy things to get away. Jump out of a moving car or kick somebody way bigger than her. But after she's had sex with three guys she won't try nearly as hard to stop the fourth one. I can't argue for the morality but it's practical. Getting a lot of sex goes a long way to calming a girl down."
Elaine breathed deeply. It wasn't the right time to antagonize these people.
"So anyway, you couldn't see the sky down here and you couldn't tell what time it was. We made the days short. We gave you 5 hours sleep each night, and the awake time was 13 hours. You didn't notice from the meals because it wasn't the food you were used to, and you didn't notice the short days because they were unfamiliar too. It's 5 PM on Sunday, and it's been just 3 days since we took you. You'll have a whole day at home before work. You haven't lost anything except one set of clothes that got cut off of you.
"Except for not knowing how many men I've fucked and being a two dollar whore?"
"You're physically OK. And I tremendously admire your mind. I wish I could see you again, but it violates security and it just isn't safe. I want you to know there's no woman in the world I want like I want you."
She thought, 'That's nice. He really isn't somebody I can trust.' "I want to leave right now, there's a restaurant I want to go to."
They brought her clothes that came from her closet. Somebody had a pretty good eye for what went together. Underwear. It felt good to wear underwear. Shoes. Her shoes. The wig didn't match her hair color, but it was OK. Her purse had her cellphone in it and it didn't look broken. She didn't touch it. If they thought she knew where she was they wouldn't let her go. They might not anyway. It could be another mindfuck. She put her flipflops in her purse. And when they went through the room with the mattress, she took her nightgown too. She wasn't sure why she wanted them, but she felt like she'd earned them.
They stopped at a flight of stairs. Malcolm said, "At this point we need you blindfolded. And your hands should be tied to help keep the blindfold in place. But this will be much more comfortable than last trip." He opened his arms and started to hug and kiss her.
Elaine thought, why the hell not? And stepped forward to kiss him. She did it with a lot of care and attention to detail, and some of the men applauded. She thought, 'He's an utter bastard but he's an utter bastard that I enjoy kissing.' Somebody covered her eyes and tied her hands behind her, and they helped her climb the steps.
Nobody bothered her on the ride, and after awhile they took off the blindfold and freed her arms. They were on the freeway. She felt increasingly safe.
Later, waiting for her food at her favorite restaurant, she realized something. Monday morning she was going back to her boring job, and then she'd come home to her boring apartment. She really wanted to be sneaking into Brazil with Malcolm. But she couldn't, because it was just a story. That felt kind of sad. The word for it was bittersweet.
- COMMENTS
freeguppy8 months agoAuthorThank you for the feedback! You've given me a sense of things I wanted to say that I didn't get across. I didn't want to be all preachy and hammer my own intepretations, and yet....
I consider Malcolm entirely unreliable. If he says "here's something that works like this" and then you observe it working like this, then maybe he knows what he's talking about. The reasons for him to say it are open to suspicion. He doesn't speak for me.
I think of Elaine as extremely tough-minded. She wasn't stuck on social roles. Bruno Bettelheim described his experience in a Nazi slave labor camp. People who were too intent on their previous social roles could not adapt and died. They just stopped trying and others ate their food. He survived long enough to be rescued, by accepting his new reality and looking for ways to achieve goals -- even though they were goals he would have considered beneath him in his old life. She looked for ways to manipulate the people around her into giving her things she wanted, even if it was only more food and some comfort and a little emotional support. Maybe I should have described her life before, a victim of mass culture, with a boring job and occasional boring boyfriends and nothing much to live for. To the point that she would almost prefer a life of poverty in a Brazilian slum with unreliable Malcolm, to going back to it.
I want to describe some things about rape, without claiming any expertise -- I could be wrong. I claim that when a woman thinks she's going to have sex soon, her body adjusts. This is independent of whether she thinks she wants to. Given time to adjust, most women can have sex without being damaged. Surprise sex *will* often cause damage. Some of the trauma of rape in our culture often comes from the thoughts and feelings about responding, when there isn't much physical damage to override that. Avoiding thoughts about how it ought to be instead, reduces the trauma considerably.
US culture does not have it straight about sexual reluctance. Often married women don't really want to when their husbands want to, but learn to get in the mood. Or sometimes they just say no, and the husbands are tempted to find someone else. When they just really don't want that husband, it naturally tends toward eventual divorce. The details can get complicated, and women can feel kind of coerced, almost raped, when the men involved have no idea. Men mostly don't have to face that kind of thing except of course some gay men. But homosexual males are so diverse it's hardly worth generalizing about them.
I tried to show some diversity among the rapists. Some of them like John were happy to believe it was actresses who were pretending to be raped. It was at least ambiguous. Some like Charlie were angry and wanted an opportunity to make someone feel degraded. Many wanted sex, and also preferred to have a woman who liked them and wanted what they had to offer.
Elaine sometimes surprised herself. Like, wanting John to care for her in ways he didn't, and then intending to manipulate him but getting mad at him instead. Sometimes I surprise myself.
I thought about writing a sequel in which Elaine gets involved with an organized group of women victims who intend to hunt down Malcolm etc and get revenge. I haven't started because it seemed like it would be too socially unacceptable. This story was a little bit edgy, and the sequel might go over the line.
Anonymous8 months agoIt's difficult to check the "Like It" box because I really didn't; I do so only as a gesture of giving the devil his due by acknowledging the quality of your writing skill.
Otherwise, your own characterization (by proxy of Malcolm) that this tale was designed to be a "mindfuck" for both the victim and the rapists is accurate. Given that to be the case it would take a psychiatrist (not a psychologist) eons to unravel all the psychotic sadistic elements you've interwoven into the plot--and with bows to the Stockholm Syndrome, all the psychological damage you essentially foisted upon the victim Elaine for life since she will never be able to divest herself of all the destruction done to her sense of self.
Just one further observation: In crafting this tale you essentially validated the mindset of the rapists and made one more contribution to instilling that mindset into the brains of all those men who take what should be "extreme FANTASIES" and make them sound normal--tossing in the twisted justification that at least Elaine now knows what an orgasm feels like so long as its psychologically tied to her being raped.
As a writer I guess you can take a modicum of comfort from having created a scenario that aroused such a visceral response (from at least this one reader) even if it was overwhelmingly negative.
I usually say thanks for sharing your creative imagination to writers who've taken great care to craft a good solid story with believable characters and a plot that holds up throughout.
I could say that. But I won't.
Keep writing, though. You have talent.
MLJ
freeguppy11 months agoAuthor> So is it like...satire?
Yes.
But also real ideas. Men who are OK with pretend rape or even real rape may also want women's approval if they can possibly get it. Or occasionally not. "The wounded will wound." People generally care more what things mean to them than what actually happens. But sometimes we can't ignore reality.
Etc.
I say, read it the way it works best for you.
