Mike and Jen

But Jen's answer wasn't enough for Mike. "Why won't you give me a straight answer?" he said frustrated.

"It's just," Jen sputtered. She was having a hard enough time understanding it herself. It was impossible trying to explain it to someone else. "I don't want Frank to be permanent," she began. "But I don't know when I'll want it to end. That's what I mean. Frank will probably want to end it before me. Or you'll want me to end it. And that's okay. I'll be okay when that happens."

Mike looked at Jen incredulously at her words. It was another piece of his heart that was forever shattered.

"Are you almost there baby?" Jen said gently. She was still moving up and down on him. "I'm kind of sore."

"Maybe we should just stop," Mike said bitterly.

"No," Jen said earnestly, looking into Mike's eyes. "I want you to cum inside me." She tenderly stroked his cheek. "I know you're upset. But when you ask questions you want me to tell the truth right? Not hold back?"

"Yes," Mike admitted. "It's just, I don't mind sharing your body. I want that. But I can't share your heart. I don't want you to fall in love."

"Baby," Jen sighed, looking into Mike's eyes. "You want me to date, not just fuck. You want me to have feelings, not just hook up. Where's the line between like and love?"

"So you are in love with Frank?"

"I never said that," Jen said. "I have feelings but"

"But what?!" Mike said as took a deep breath. "Jen, just tell me"

"Mike, calm down, it's just a game," Jen said evasively, rubbing his chest.

"Jen," Mike said impatiently. "Why won't you answer?"

"Mike, I don't know what it is," Jen said. "I just know, I'm not ready to stop yet with Frank."

"You said you'd stop if I said so," Mike reminded her.

"And I will," Jen said. She leaned down and kissed him. Then she added, "But, I mean, I wouldn't be happy."

Mike held Jen in position before pushing her out of her. He was done with this conversation. He couldn't keep pretending to be a mat that Jen can walk on. The more Jen spoke, the harder it became for him to love her like he used to. Everyone around him was right, Jen never loved him. And by the conversation they just had, Jen doesn't even respect him. She will always put the wishes of her lovers and her feelings ahead of Mike's. That's how it was. That's who it'll always be.

"I don't want to keep going," Mike said as he got up and put his clothes on. His face was emotionless. Jen looked at him confused. The switch was on again. And this time he didn't even try to pretend.

"Baby?" Jen said, shocked. This was the first time Mike has ever done that. His face was eerily serious. She didn't know how to react. She couldn't understand what just happened. All she knew is that Mike suddenly stopped and it felt like someone stomped her heart.

Jen wanted to say something, but just then Anna started crying. It seems she had a bad dream and woke up. "I'll get her," Mike said without any emotion in his voice.

"Mike, we need to talk," Jen said, reaching for his hand.

Jen let her hand go when he saw how Mike saw her. It hurt her. It pained her. There was nothing in his eyes. He was there, but his heart wasn't. "Later," Mike whispered before leaving the room.

"Hi, Hannah-Banana," Jen heard Mike say with love and affection. Jen curled into a ball and cried herself to sleep.

It was early morning and Jen woke up in panic. Mike was not next to him and by the looks of the bed he didn't sleep in bed either.

Jen put some clothes on and left the bedroom in a hurry. That's when she saw Mike playing with Anna. "Hi, baby," Mike said with a kind smile and at her.

"Uhm, Hi," Jen said almost as a whisper. "I thought you were gone," she added as tears formed in her eyes.

Mike walked to her and gave her a warm hug. "Why would I do that? I promised you that I wasn't going to leave you."

Jen felt like she was about to collapse. Mike acted like someone completely different from the man he saw yesterday night. He was back to his loving and caring self.

"I'll break things off with Frank," she whispered.

"No," Mike responded. "You're right. You need to ride your thing with him. Maybe he'll dump you, maybe he won't. You have always talked about having a boyfriend after all. I think a boyfriend will be a good thing for you."

Jen noticed how Mike didn't involve himself in anything he said. It's only about her. "It is a good thing for us, Mike," she clarified as put an emphasis on us.

"I know that, baby. That's what I meant," he said as he looked at her with the most loving eyes a man can have.

Jen didn't know what to think. Frank was clouding things for her. Allie was clouding things for her. And now Mike was being strange.

Mike gave Jen a long and passionate kiss before staring at her gorgeous blue eyes. "I'll be gone for a week for that thing I told you about, remember?" Jen doesn't remember

"I'm glad you helped me decide to go, baby. I don't know what I would do without you." Mike added as he kissed her forehead and went to the room to pack his things.

Jen was utterly confused as to what was happening. She usually remembers everything that Mike tells her, but she has no recollection of him telling her about a trip today. "What is happening?" she thought.

Jen had barely any time to process things, before Mike kissed her goodbye and left. She felt like she was about to break down, but then she heard Anna crying. "I'm coming, baby," Jen said as she dried her tears and forced a smile.

-------------------------------------------

Two days later, after lunch, Allie walked into Jen's office. Jen was happy to see her best friend. At the least it gave her a welcome distraction from everything that has happened so far.

"So are you taking the part?" Allie asked as she flopped into the big comfy chair in front of Jen's desk.

"Yeah," Jen said. "I told Johnny. He took it better than I thought. I think there's still some anti-Libertygate backlash from some of our clients. So I guess it helps if I go away for a while."

"A while?" Allie asked.

Jen nodded. "I guess I'm officially going on sabbatical. I'll still be a partner. I just won't get paid until I come back."

"Are you going to come back?"

"Will you be mad if I don't?" Jen asked hesitantly.

"I don't know. Probably not," Allie said. "I'm probably leaving too soon. Darren's made tons of money. I get half I guess. Half is a lot." Looking at Jen, she worriedly said, "You're not mad about the restaurant?"

"You, kissing Mike?" Jen said.

Allie looked guilty. "I felt I had to do it," she lied. Mike has taught her how to lie to Jen. It's scarily easy once you know how to do it.

"I know," Jen said. "I guess, next time don't kiss him like that. Pretend like you're kissing your father."

"Ewwww," Allie said, making a disgusted face. They both laughed. "So, I heard you have a fundraiser this weekend. You'll be with Frank?"

Jen nodded. "What do you think of him?"

"He's hot," Allie said honestly. "But scary."

"Yeah," Jen agreed with a laugh. But to her, the scary part -- the controlling part, the Master of the Universe you will do what I say part -- made Frank even hotter.

"I get why you like him, but changing your life for him," Allie said looking concerned.

"I'm not doing it for Frank, I'm doing it for Mike," Jen said. "For us."

"Seriously Jen?" Allie said sceptically. It sure seemed like she was quitting her job and going to Broadway for Frank. And she knew for a fact that's what she was doing. Allie and Mike talked about it constantly whenever they were not talking about Darren.

"I like advertising but I want something else," Jen explained. "Maybe I want to be a stay-at-home mom someday. I just know I don't want to do advertising forever. It's so stressful."

Allie nodded. She obviously knew all about the stress and long hours.

"Maybe Frank is the reason I'm doing it now," Jen said. "But he's not the reason I'm doing it. Okay, yeah, Broadway's because of Frank. But if not Broadway then something else. Mostly though I'm doing it for Mike."

Allie looked at Jen questioningly, not understanding.

Even though they were alone, Jen lowered her voice. "When we got back together the doctor told me they'd be lingering effects of his PTSD," she said. "Everyone deals with it differently. Mike became a teacher. He likes teaching, he has good memories from Penn State. It's like a safe place for him. A crutch. Then, he joined CATF. That was good. The job is more challenging. But it's just part time and you know Mike, if he could he'd be James Bond. So that was a safe place too."

"That's where it happened," Allie reminded her.

"That may be how he's dealing with it, and why he is getting better," Jen said. "Maybe he needed to go to CATF. I don't know. Like an exorcism or something."

"You talked to the doctor?" Allie asked. Allie knows all about Mike's PTSD, she has gone with him a couple of times as a friend. But what she knows is completely different from what Jen is telling her.

"Of course I talked to the doctor," Jen said. She had to do it to make sure Mike was protected. But also, the doctor needed time to think it through, whether Mike would be hurt or helped by engaging with CATF.

Allie shook her head. "I didn't know he was still dealing with PTSD," she lied again.

"It might be with him the rest of his life," Jen said. She was still talking in a low voice. "The doctor says I'll know he's getting better when he takes a real job. He wants to go back to Apple or work full time at CATF. The doctor thinks that's a good sign."

Allie slowly nodded, suspicious about everything her friend had said today. Allie loved Jen, but in the past couple of months, she has seen a different side of Jen. It wasn't a different side. She knew that side all along. However, what was fun at 19 isn't as fun at 29. Jen loved to change narratives and omit details to make herself look good, look like the perfect woman. And that carries consequences in the real world.

Her manipulation is negatively affecting a lot of people's lives thanks to her lies and poorly thought out solutions. The biggest victims are Allie, Anna's, DJ's, and Mike. The worst part is that Jen wasn't apologetic for it. Instead, she was justifying it by blaming it on Mike's PTSD.

Jen misread Allie's thoughts and said, "I'm taking care of Mike. I know what my husband needs." She felt a little defensive whilst saying it. A little defiant.

Allie shrugged and decided to change the subject. Get to the real reason she was here. She said "So anyways, I was wondering. Since you'll be with Frank for our birthdays, would it be okay if I hung out with Mike?" Seeing Jen's frown, she added "I just don't like being alone on that day. It's the big 30 after all. And I don't have to worry about Mike hitting on me. You know?"

"What about RH?" Jen asked.

"He's hot," Allie said. "But he's getting back with his wife. Anyways, I'm not ready for a relationship. Long term or short. That's why it's nice hanging with Mike." Allie lied again hoping her friend didn't notice.

Jen nodded slowly, thinking. She didn't like Allie's sudden interest in Mike. She saw her play then when they went for dinner. For the past 10 years Allie was at most neutral about Mike. Now all of a sudden she wants to hang with him on her birthday? What's up with that?

On the other hand, it was possible that Allie's interests were entirely platonic. She has been honest about every single date she and Mike has had for the past months. And the kiss Allie and Mike shared that night was a necessary evil. Honestly, Jen didn't see how she wouldn't come across as a petty and hypocritical bitch if she stopped Allie from hanging out with Mike.

"Yeah sure," Jen said as she shrugged like she didn't care, like she didn't have a worry in the world. But inside her stomach was churning. She has felt that pain before. Ever since Mike started going out with Allie, she has felt that pain.

And yesterday.

"Allie," Jen paused. "Do you know where Mike is?" she asked.

"Yeah, he is at CATF dealing with the new team," Allie said as she looked at Jen confused. "Why? Did Mike say he was going somewhere else? He was super happy you told him to do this."

Jen remained silent

"Actually, you'll never believe who is part of CATF now," Allie said with excitement. "Maria! Remember her? You used to think she had the hots for Mike back in college," Allie said with laughter

Jen forced a smile as she heard the news. "Have you met the new team already?"

Allie was joyfully remembering how much fun Mike and her had to notice the tone in which Jen said that question. "We went out several times with them. Remember, when I told you we're going out with friends? They are not as nerdy as people think, you know? We had such a fun time."

"Really?" Jen asked rhetorically as Allie heard how Jen's pen snapped in half. Allie became quiet as she looked at her friend. Her face carried a smile, but her hand shook as Allie saw ink dripping out of her hand.

"Are you ok, Jen?" Allie asked

Jen was not ok. And it wasn't because Maria was working with Mike, it's because Allie knew more about Mike than she did. She wanted Mike locked in a box where only she could reach. And for the past 10 years, she has successfully done so. But her obsession with Frank forced her to go down this path. To unlock the box and let Mike explore the outside world. And now, she doesn't know what to do.

"Jen?" Allie asked again

Jen shrugged and nodded to Allie. "Yeah. I guess I still had some feelings for how Maria saw Mike," she said as she faked a smile.

"I can see that," Allie pointed at Jen's broken pen.

Both women remained silent for a moment. Allie hesitated pushing the envelope, but she kind of wanted to at the same time. "Is Frank coming to the happy hour?" Allie asked

Jen stared at Allie for a moment not understanding, but then she remembered. Their birthday happy hour. Their birthdays weren't for another two weeks but next Friday worked best for everyone. With all the excitement of Spring Awakening Jen completely forgot. But she quickly recovered and Allie seemed not to notice. "Um, I don't know," she said. "Do you think that's a good idea?"

"I don't think it matters," Allie said with a shrug. "You know how these happy hours go. People coming and going. No one will notice." She gave Jen a conspiratorial grin. "I'll run interference with Mike if you want. So you can hang with Frank."

"Oh okay," Jen said, looking at Allie. "I'll, ah, I'll think about it."

Allie left. For long after, Jen stared at the door. Was Allie interested in Mike? Is that why she was willing to run interference? Why was Allie so determined to hang out with Mike on her birthday?

No way. No freaking way. Mike and Allie barely tolerated each other. And they would never do that to her. "Besides, even if they liked each other, things won't get physical," she told herself. But what if they are close? Of all people, Jen knew how it just took a slight spark to turn feelings from platonic to romantic. Jen didn't like that possibility. She didn't like it one bit.

All the memories from the restaurant and the kiss they had flashed before her eyes. And then there was the big one, Allie spoke of her and Mike as we. Maybe it's an accident, maybe Allie meant it. But Jen has never felt so much pain than when she heard Allie use we. It wasn't Mike and I, it was we.

Jen was learning the type of pain Mike experiences whenever she is playing. But she isn't a cuck or a sub. Not with Mike. She couldn't shield her pain with lust. All she could do is feel the slow betrayal of losing someone because you wanted to be fuck someone else.

Through the rest of the day, Jen flipped back and forward between ending things with Frank and wanting to be his slut.

She thought about next Friday's happy hour. The prospect of seeing Frank that day really appealed to her. Allie was right, no one would notice. And Mike would really get off seeing her and Frank together, especially with the risk of her co-workers noticing. They'd go back to the loft apartment, the 3 of them. Have some adult fun. She'd cuddle with Mike all night, reassure him, make him feel good. Then, she'd go to the fundraiser with Frank. It would work perfectly because, mainly, that would mean Mike won't be with Allie.

-------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the week went normal for Allie. She and Mike did their rutinary jogs and gym sessions that have helped them get over lots of things. They also attended their respective therapy sessions. It's a nice flow. Life felt like it was moving forward again.

Today, though, Allie found herself sitting late at night on a bench in Central Park for reasons she can't fully understand.

Allie checked his mobile and smiled at the memory of Mike talking to a bodybuilder earlier this afternoon. She saw how Mike's mathematical brain connected the pieces as the bodybuilder explained how strength training was a mathematical science. To the credit of the bodybuilder he had a PHD in sports medicine. So the guy happily went through academic literature with Mike.

That's how it was with Mike. His mind was always thirsty for knowledge and new challenges. "Who knew bodybuilding was going to be that?" Allie said with a chuckle.

Allie realised how much she and Mike have changed in the past several months. It's like they were uplifting each other. They made each other better. She liked that. That's what she has been looking for since college.

As she waited at the bench, Allie felt bad about lying to her best friend. She knows her relationship with Jen will end and it'll be a sad moment when it does.

However, it frustrates her how Jen has never bothered to figure out the type of person Mike is. The man is far more eloquent, determined, and outspoken than he has ever been with Jen. It's undeniable that Mike's isolationist persona combined with Jen's jealousy, stunted Mike's emotional growth.

Mike was different now. He was starting to have some muscle definition, which was an insecurity he used to have. He was also walking with his chin up. He was openly witty and clever. He was more emotionally open and supportive. When they got together with the new friends they have made, he was always smiling, socialising, and joking. It's like watching a caterpillar turn into a butterfly.

He was also a fantastic father figure and emotional support. Every time Allie has needed Mike, he has been there. Regardless of what she needs, he is always there. Isn't that what everyone wants in a partner? Allie thought she had that with Darren, but that wasn't the case.

The more that cocoon was ready to hatch, the more Mike looked like a man Allie should date. But, there are still things that she needs to deal with before she can carry on with her plan.

"Hey," Mike said, which startle Allie

"Holy fuck, Mike. You're as quiet as a ghost," she blurted, startled.

"You know that's my codename in CATF?" Mike proudly boasted

"What? Ghost?" She asked

"Phantom," he corrected her.

"Okay... I'm confused," Allie admitted. Sometimes Mike was still a bit too enigmatic for his own good.

"It's because -" Darren interrupted them. "Mike, Allie," the man said as he stood in front of them.

"Darren," Allie said.

----------------------------------------------------------

A couple of hours passed and Allie was calling the babysitter to check on Anna and DJ. The babies were fine and sound asleep, which made Allie happy. She was about to return to the two men when he heard Mike speak to Darren.

"Why do you keep hurting Allie?" Mike asked

"You know why. You have similar fantasies too," Darren replied

"Not anymore," Mike said without hesitation. "Not as strong, anyway," he corrected himself. The more time passes, the less he sees himself as a cuckold. He is more of a sub, but Jen is not his master.