Milly Scott Pt. 03: The Artist and Her Young Lover 02

Jane walked down the platform, her shoulders looked hunched and she didn't walk with the confident purposeful stride that I was familiar with. She seemed to be burdened with more than just a large bag. Despite not looking at her best she was still a beautiful young woman, with an incredible figure, highlighted by her jeans that must have been stitched in place.

As she came closer I saw her eyes, dark bags and the whites looked bloodshot. The corners of her mouth drooped even when she saw me and smiled, or at least tried to smile. "Hi, Milly thanks for coming to meet me."

I took her into my arms and kissed her cheek. "Come on let's get you to Rose Cottage and see if we can cheer you up."

Jane was hunched up in her seat as I drove home. She made a polite enquiry about her sister and me. Commented on the weather and scenery, but her mind was far away from the Lake District. I tried to distract her by talking about Fiona's band, her studies, my artwork and my forthcoming London showing.

Jane dumped her bags and I handed her a glass of wine. She sat in our large chair and pulled her legs up underneath her. I sat at the end of the coffee table facing her.

"You don't have to talk until you're ready and you can stay here for as long as you want. You know that Fiona loves and cares for you deeply, and she's worried, but I've not told her anything that we've discussed." She raised her eyes and nodded at me.

"You also know that I love you and care for you very much as well. I'll do anything within my power to help you. Take your time and go at your own pace."

Jane looked at me with affection and started to cry. I went to hold her. "Thank you. Sometimes I hate my sister."

"Why?"

"She got you. I loved you as well." She hid her eyes.

"But you didn't feel the same way about me that Fiona did."

"No, I just loved you for you. I never fantasised about you the way that she did. I never had that connection that I saw between you. I was never jealous of you, how could I be? I was jealous of what the two of you had, have."

She was quiet and I thought it best to let her talk so I remained silent. It was stunning; she was smart, street smart, had a wicked sense of humour, had graduated at the top of her class and was gaining a reputation as a lawyer despite her lack of experience. But here she was sobbing like a little girl.

"Milly, can we just talk about anything but this today? Let's just chat and enjoy each other's company tonight, then you and I can talk tomorrow."

"Whatever you want." Giving her the space she wanted seemed to be sensible, but whatever it was had blown her confidence. "Come on, let's walk for a while." We didn't go far and didn't say much, but I held her hand because she was in need of love and tenderness.

Fiona came home much quieter than usual. She walked over to Jane and enveloped her. "Hi Sis, you okay?" Then she almost laughed.

"That has to be the dumbest question I've asked for a while, well for a couple of days anyway. Of course, you're not okay. I'm sorry, but I'm glad you're here and I love you very much."

Jane was hanging onto her sister like a limpet and her reply was muffled as she snuffled into Fiona's shoulder. "Thanks, I'm glad to be here."

We walked to the pub and talked about everything, but her problem. Remembering their first few visits to the Lake District made us laugh and Jane seemed to be a little lighter by the time that we got back. Jane excused herself and went to bed.

After checking that she'd gone Fiona turned to me. "She looks like shit. I've never seen her so down. Do you have any idea what's wrong?"

"Only what she told me yesterday, love life!"

Fiona headed off to university before Jane came downstairs. She still looked worried. I fed her French toast and coffee. "Would you like to walk whilst we talk?"

"No, maybe go for a walk later. I'd like to sit with you and tell you about it."

We sat on the couch facing each other. Jane rested the side of her head on the back of the seat and had her feet up, but she was bunched up again as if trying to make herself small. When she spoke, most of the time she looked down and when she looked at me it was as if she was trying to hide her eyes.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me and I'll help. I'm sure that you'll feel a little better when it's out there. Take your time. We have all day and Fiona won't be home until I let her know that it's safe."

"About five months ago I met a girl in a bar. Anna, her name is Anna. She works for the health board as an administrator. She's very beautiful; do you know the actress Harley Green?"

"Yes, I think so."

"She's very like her, maybe a bit skinnier, but like her. We got talking and agreed to meet again. We went out for dinner a couple of times, the movies, went for a walk together. She made me laugh, we shared similar interests. She told me that she'd split up from her boyfriend because she was gay and couldn't pretend any longer." She stopped. I don't know why she had, but I let her collect herself.

"It took about two months before we slept together, well had sex, we didn't sleep much." I could see the embarrassment on her face. She looked at me directly in the eyes for the first time. "It was incredible. I'd never felt anything like it. I knew right then that this must be what you and Fiona experience. Fiona's never told me details of what you do, but she's tried to describe how she feels and I never got it. I never understood until that night and I think that must be what she's tried to explain to me."

"It was crazy. I couldn't really go back to our house, but we managed a couple of nights when Jess and Victoria were away overnight. We went back to her house a couple of times. We rented hotel rooms a lot. It was insane and I couldn't think straight. I think that was where the problems were. She always seemed uneasy being at her house and now I think back, something should have told me that there was a problem."

"Then she disappeared. No answer to text messages, phone calls, emails, nothing. I had no idea what was wrong and after about ten days I went to her house and a man answered the door. When I asked for Anna I saw her, she looked at the guy and said, "That's her, the one who's been stalking me." I nearly fainted. I'd no idea what just happened and I walked away, went home and tried to work out what it all meant. I was stunned and upset. I'd really liked her, felt a connection ..."

I moved over to hold her. "I guess that's not all of it is it?"

"No," she sniffled, "It gets worse." That stunned me, how could it get worse?

"I had no clue what had happened, I was mystified and hurt, very hurt. I tried to work out what I could do; I needed to know what had happened. Jess and Victoria knew that something was wrong, but I couldn't tell them anything except that we'd split up and I was upset." That wasn't what was made it worse, but she blew my mind with her next sentence.

"Then a policewoman came to the office. Anna had made an allegation that I'd been stalking her. One of the partners was in with us and asked to speak to me privately. I told her the story and we went back in to speak to the police. I told them everything. I showed them text messages and emails that we'd exchanged, that was embarrassing. I showed them some photos that we'd taken of the two of us together and told them about the places that we'd been. I told them we'd met my parents once and that a couple of colleagues had seen us out together." Jane was shaking now so I held her gently.

"What did the police say?"

"The officer felt that based on what I'd told her that the allegation was false. Anna had denied ever meeting me more than once in a bar. When they, the police, went away the partners were supportive but felt it best if I took a week off until the police had looked into it. I was distraught and thought that my career was over, but they tried to reassure me. They were right I could never have done any work this week. I don't know how to tell Jess and Victoria. I'm so embarrassed. Thanks for listening to me."

I wasn't sure what to say or suggest so I told her that I wanted to think about it and that we'd done the hard part. She already looked a little brighter and suggested going for that walk.

Fiona arrived home and looked at me with an unspoken question. I shook my head and mouthed "It'll be okay." We spent the evening together chatting and it was clear that Jane's mood was lifting. Fiona wanted details when we were alone in our room. "She was treated badly and embarrassed. Maybe I'll tell you the rest one day, but for now. She's okay."

Jane and I were considering her options the next morning when her phone rang. It was her boss. I ducked out to give her some privacy and make a pot of coffee.

It was quite a long time later that she came and stood at the kitchen door with a look of relief on her face. "That was my boss. The police were round. They're satisfied that I did nothing wrong and they're considering what action to take against Anna. Apparently, her boyfriend was working away and she wanted to experiment. Then when he came home she made up a story to cover her tracks. That didn't work out so well for her did it? Or me."

"How does your boss feel?"

"Relieved, the same as me. They want me to go back as soon as I feel ready."

"Any idea what you want to do now?"

"Enjoy a nice day with you, have dinner with my sister, then go home and try to find the courage to tell Mum."

What do girls do to cheer themselves up in such times of crisis? Shop for clothes, and that's what we did. Jane and I had done this before, many times, and that previous practice came in handy as we spent a small fortune. As I stood at the counter of a lingerie specialist Jane picked up the garment that I'd put on the counter. "Bloody hell, Milly is that for you or my sister?"

I smiled at her. "It's for your sister, but I plan on being the one wearing it."

"I'd pay very good money to see that. You love her a lot don't you?"

"Yes, and I'd do anything for her. Unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Unless you needed me, then I'd have a dilemma. I love you very much as well; I always have, not in the same way, I don't want to drag you into bed every time I see you." I laughed at the look on her face. "Hopefully I'll never have to choose. I'm your friend."

"Would you come home with me? To tell them."

"Is that wise? Telling them about this, knowing that you came to me first."

"I'd feel better about it. I think they'd understand."

I went with her. That was what she asked of me. I held her hand as she told them the story and why she felt it easier to talk to me about it. They asked questions. It was uncomfortable for the three of them. When it was over I left them together and went to get ready for bed.

Jess came to my room and took me into her arms. "Thank you, Milly. I wish that she'd felt brave enough to tell us first, but I cannot imagine how she must have worried. I'm not angry with her, I'm not hurt. I said a small prayer of thanks for her having you as well. Thank you, Milly, I love you." She kissed my cheek and left me. I'd not spoken.

Half an hour later Jane sneaked into my bed and held me all night.

When I got back home Fiona didn't ask any questions, but I could see that she wanted to know. I grabbed a bottle of wine, two glasses and took Fiona through to the couch. I held her with her head on my lap as I told her all about it, just as Jane had asked me to do. Fiona started crying halfway through and kept going until the very end.

She turned to look at me. "Thank you, Milly, thanks for helping her. You love her too don't you?"

"Yes, very much." She kissed me on the cheek. We were silent for quite some time and then went to bed. I held her just as Jane had held me the night before. I sniggered at one point as a thought flashed through my head - 'Maybe I should marry both of them.' But Fiona was just about as much as I could handle.

London again

There was another gallery showing in London and I'd been working on some new stuff. I had a series of musicians, loosely based on Fiona's band, another series of kids playing, a portrait of Tricky my wire-haired fox terrier and a boudoir sketch based on the one that I'd done of Fiona, but with another face and this one was much raunchier. I was a bit nervous because these works were different from my norm.

I'd tried to invite Jess once before and it hadn't worked out, but this time she was keen to accompany me. We met in London the day before the showing and after an early dinner, we headed to see a musical that evening. My favourite, Les Miserables, which we'd both seen before, but we loved it and I found that we were holding hands throughout most of it.

Two women together with a selection of shops can only mean one thing. We shopped and although we both had an outfit planned for that evening, somehow we each managed to find something else, gorgeous cocktail dresses and new heels.

As we alighted from our taxi at the gallery we half expected the paparazzi to be waiting for us. They must have been engaged elsewhere that evening, but the two of us hooked arms as we crossed to the door of the gallery and both felt like a million dollars. Daniel, the gallery owner greeted me like an old friend, which he was in a way. He flattered Jess every which way that he could and had her blushing. She did look great, but perhaps he overdid it a little. The two of us examined the other artist's works and giggled like silly schoolgirls making comments as we sipped our wine.

It was fun to chat with the invited guests and I was surprised to meet the couple who had purchased a piece that had been auctioned for charity many years ago. They made an offer for my portrait of Tricky the dog because they'd owned a similar dog soon after they met. Jess was astounded at the prices that the works were selling for. I laughed and whispered, "I don't get all of that you know, just a share."

The boudoir portrait fetched more than any other piece that I'd ever sold. Jess grinned and quietly said, "It's so very ... sexy. It reminds me of another of your pieces, maybe based on someone that I know?"

"Certainly not." I tried to sound indignant and failed. She laughed at me.

We went back to our hotel where I ordered a bottle of bubbly. I enjoyed chatting with Jess until the early hours and suddenly she looked at me with a serious face. "My daughters are pretty lucky, aren't they? They have two mums and you. You're like their third mother."

"I think I know what you're trying to say, but I don't regard Fiona as my daughter. She's my partner, my lover. Jane, well maybe you have a point. Thank you for sharing them with me. They've both made a huge difference to my life, your whole family has. I've been very lucky."

We parted at the station the following morning with an exchange of kisses. I spent the journey home thinking about Jess's family and my good fortune. Then I found myself eager to get home to my girlfriend, my lover, fiancée, my darling Fiona. I'd been away for 48 hours and missed her like crazy. Tonight I'd make up for it.

Planning

We were sitting at dinner one evening when Fiona looked at me and smiled, "Milly, I spoke with Gerry today, for my formal appraisal. I have two small things to hand in and can knock them off in a few hours, maybe this weekend. He's read my research work, made a few amendments and suggested a couple of things that need to be clarified, there's a bit of work to do, but it shouldn't take too long. He confirmed that subject to doing those things I'll graduate with honours."

She smiled pleased with herself, proud. My face was going to need Botox to fill the lines that were caused by my smile, it was so wide.

"Fiona, I knew it, I always knew it. Well done I'm so proud of you. Actually, it's more than that, but I don't have the words. Well done my darling. Have you phoned Jess and Victoria? They'll be thrilled."

"No, I haven't, not yet. You're more important than them right this minute. You've been by my side on this journey and thanks to you I've almost made it, and there's something else."

Now the world may stop turning, fear popped up and I was almost too scared to ask, "What's that?"

"I got an email from Karen Fairfield today. She wants to talk to me about a job working for her. It means another year learning stuff at her company, but with the possibility that in about a year; I could become the company 'trouble-shooter,' the job I've always wanted."

"That's great, wonderful, I'm so proud of you." I was grinning, I hadn't thought about where she would need to live yet.

"Of course; it means that I'd need to go back to our home town." My face fell, there it was! I have no idea what else she said, but my stomach hit the floor, I knew it, I'd always dreaded this moment, please, please let her still want me!

"Milly, sorry are you okay?" Not really, but I didn't say that out loud I just nodded and she carried on. "You made me a promise, I still feel the same about you and all of this would mean nothing without you."

She started crying and the tears were flowing freely, "For god's sake Milly I've waited and waited and I can't stand it any longer, I want to marry you, live with you and be your wife, please!"

'What did she just say, did I hear her correctly?' I reached out my hand to take hers, my eyes were watering now, "Are you sure, really sure, this is a big step?"

She wiped her face, "Never been surer of anything. I wanted this degree, a lot, I want that job, but I want you just as much. We've had three years, more, and nothing's changed. Actually, it has changed, I love you more now, I did have doubts, of course, I did, we both did, but they're long gone. I've dreamed of that day."

I looked at her. I knew what I wanted and I was certain as well, "When?"

"What? What did you say?"

"I said yes. When can we do it?"

"Oh fuck, Milly, really?"

"Yes, marry you and fuck you. One I can do now the other will have to wait a while."

Two hours later, after a shower, a drink and a chat, we sat in the lounge in robes and Fiona made a call.

"Jess, it's Milly and me, we're fine and on the speaker. Is Victoria there?"

"Yes, I'm here, what's the news?"

She told them about her course, the graduation and then she told them about the job. They were excited and delighted for her as they should've been.

It was Victoria who asked the question, "That means that you'll be coming back to live here then?"

"Yes, but not with you. Milly and I will be buying our own house down there."

"Milly's coming as well, that's good." Jess seemed relieved, "I worried, even though I shouldn't have."

My turn, "Jess, I'm coming too. I want to be with her because I love her. Maybe you can help us to shop for dresses."

"What? What dresses? You mean, oh shit really?"

"Yes, we're not sure when, but we've talked about it this evening. We made promises to each other and now we need to keep them."

"Jess is just off to get tissues and some bubbly. I'm delighted, congratulations."

Jess was back. "Milly I'm sorry I couldn't help crying. For I while I dreaded you telling me that and then a couple of years ago when I'd seen you two together a few times I knew it would happen, I saw how you felt about each other. I love you both, congratulations."

The call lasted for a while, lots of stuff; if, when, where, maybe, possibly, how, things to think about.

"Does Jane know?" Jess asked.

"No, she's busy this evening, can you ask her to call me."

"Fiona, I think she's just arrived, hang on for ten minutes."

"Ten minutes for what?" I heard Jane's voice in the distance.