All Comments on 'Mina Wants to Model Ch. 01'

Great first entry! Looking forward to the next chapter! My only constructive criticism would be that the nonconsent portion of the story seemed to come out of nowhere, and I was really hoping it would just continue to play off her naiveté. Obviously you have discretion as to your own content, just saying my two cents :)

Really well-written. Incredibly sexy for what seems to be your first published work. The popsicle bit had me as turned on as your male characters.

I would echo the other commenter and say that the last part seemed firmly in the non-consensual category and kind of seemed like it came out of nowhere. Your pacing was pretty careful and it was a really hot build up until suddenly she's giving a blowjob and then being face fucked and then vomiting. It was kind of a downer all of a sudden.

If that is how you want it to go I won't try to tell you how to write your stories. Maybe Jeremy feels guilty and bad about it after he sobers up but luckily Mina was too drunk to remember it and as far as he knows his guy friends didn't see it happen either... Maybe Jeremy then acts as the voice of restraint for the three friends in the future as they continue to take advantage of her naivety and gullible nature in increasingly lewd ways while still remaining respectful of her as a friend.

Very please continue the story

Like the gullible and naive part. Some of the best i have read in here, hope you continues with a sequel

This is one of the best stories on here, I would really love part 2.

Perfection how you played her gullibllity. The ending was the natural conclusion of everything that came before it. If Peter, Paul and Mary had stuck around to stick things around Mina, that would have been hot, but the argument that it breaks the story may have merit. However Jeremy's foul yet unavoidable act was caught on a clandestine camera. The very essence of Voyeurism.

In fact it was Peter's overwhelming compulsion to spy that had him leave his math nerd hottie of a friend instead of breaking character and ruin the outstanding ending. The ending he saw anyway. Peter was too busy rewatching it to see what Jeremy was up to next.

Mina should insist Jeremy SET HER UP with his photographer contact. Of course he will have to wrangle an old college buddy to play the photographer. Mark should be busy and ask Jeremy to chaparone. Peter can use his IT wizardry to hack their gear and watch remotely. Jeremy and Peter should also get Paul, wittingly or otherwise, to convince Samantha to compromise herself. Her prissyness and arrogance should provide an angle.

Let's not forget the extended visit that Jeremy's kid sister is about to do before her 1st year at uni. Mark may be looking for some payback and ask his best IT bud Peter for some help. Of course Mina's attractive 38 year old mother knows she is still hot, enough for her vanity to be used against her. And hopefully Peter's new obsession does not get him caught with his up-skirting the ladies in the office, at the mall or in the park. Just some seeds for hopefull follow up chapters.

You struck a vein of gold. You touched on what should be the next hot sub genre, web-girls; be it vloggers, YouTubers, influencers, gamer girls, try on haulers, instagram models, tik tokers, with their need to show off and desperation for exposure they should find their hubris costing them in any category. Obviously E&V, definitely N/R, BSM, Erotic Coupling, Group, Mind Control even Fetish. Just like their vids they will drag their mom's along for some Mature or Taboo action.

They may insist on Celeb & Fan Fic. but it is probably best not to indulge them. And First Time would be beyond the suspension of disbelief. Hell, with these attention whores it may read more as nonfiction or documentary. With the likes of the scandals of Britney Attwood, Misty Laning, Ellie Mitchum, Katy King or especially Dare Wanvaes easily filling up Loving Wives, Cross Dressing and Interracial.

Thanks for the story. Looking forward for more and be safe.

PS How did you not have a Mary?

Its hot because mina is innocent and gullible and doesnt know the effect she has on guys, the car show was hot and would love to see some more scenes like that of her in public and accidentally exposing herself, such as wearing a short skirt or see through clothing or even exposed panties, nipslips... Maybe have guys take some creepshots of her and having the images turn up somewhere online.

Would also like to see wear the shots of the creeps at the autoshow took turned up.

Maybe have guys take advantage of her friendliness and naivety and sneaking in some gropes.

Admit the face fucking was hot but it seems to come out of nowhere, dont know how you'd take the story from there but looking forward to it.

How's the sequel coming around?

Please

Hi folks! Just wanted to leave a quick note saying that yes, chapter 2 is on its way. Writing has taken me longer than I'd hoped, as my pandemic time has been a bit more hectic than I'd initially anticipated, but progress IS being made. I really appreciate all of your votes and comments!

How's is it going with the sequel ?

Is a sequel still coming or has the author abandoned us?

I have to admit I felt the voyeur aspect at the end to be quite stimulating. I’m hoping there are a few more chapters in store for us. Well done!

is a sequel coming

How is the sequel going

Your story is the contemporary version of "Modeling" by storysman who was able to get to the point with fewer words.

@Justjazz9: I actually have read that story before. Fun fact: it is actually LONGER than either of mine. And "the point" of this chapter is quite different than storysman's: this one focuses on anticipation and teasing, and on the voyeuristic aspects of the "hot friend" more than just fucking them. Chapter 2 (which I see you also commented on...) is much closer to storysman's work, and—as I mentioned, despite your protestations—that chapter is actually shorter than his.

Still waiting for the next chapter for so so long

will there ever be.... a chapter 03 ???