Mind Writing Pt. 07: Sam

CW: questionable consent; rape mention; BDSM; mind-control

Mind Writing

Part Seven | Sam

by Danni Iridescent

Full Release: 14th May, 9am GMT

-- Part 7 - Sam --

We sat on a park bench, watching the water lap softly onto the rocky sands; the lake was beautiful at this time of year. Calm, and a brilliant, cool blue that allowed those sitting by it to forget all about their troubles.

Not that either myself or Hannah had many troubles. In fact, with her scooched into my side, my arm around her, things seemed oddly... normal. For the first time in a long time.

'Have you sorted things with your parents?' she asked, in her to-the-point way she had cultivated.

I nodded. 'Kind of. My mum and her new man, we've had dinner. I don't think it's ever going to sit completely right with me, but... but he makes her happy.'

She nodded. 'And your dad?'

I sighed. 'That's... more complex. After what I did to Hollie and Erin... I think that bridge is burnt. Not for them, I guess. They don't remember anything. But I won't be able to shake it.'

Hannah nodded. 'If you're going to use this... gift that you have on other people, Jamie, you should be able to forgive yourself for making mistakes. That's why you told me, right? To keep you grounded.'

I nodded. 'Though, after that,' I nodded vaguely in the direction of Matt's house, and the wreckage we had sought there only an hour or so ago, 'I'm wondering if you were the best choice.'

I said it with a smile, and Hannah knew that - but she still jabbed me in the ribs with her elbow for it.

'Careful,' I told her. 'I could turn you into a slobbering brain-dead sex kitten for that.'

She sat back on the bench, enjoying the sun that had come out. 'Don't tempt me.'

We sat there for a moment, recovering ourselves from the breathtaking morning we had shared, and the new, untested bond between us. One of secrecy and power, yes, but also of trust.

'Is this what you want to use your power for?' she asked, watching a goose flap across the lake's surface, sending small waves outwards. 'Sex. Pleasure.'

I shrugged. 'I guess not. But I don't know what to do, and in this place... I think I'm just doing what comes instinctively. I know, with you, for example, I'd wanted to fuck you since the day I saw you.'

'Thanks.'

'I didn't mean that, you know, in a bad way - it's just the truth. I held off for the longest time, though.'

She turned to me when I said that. 'Why?'

I shrugged, but she didn't let me off the hook that easily.

'Seriously, Jamie, what changed? One day you had this power, and you weren't using it, and one day you were.'

I thought back to that night - the night it really started. The first time I tuned into Shona, and felt just the pleasure radiating off her, and as I pressed the image of me into her mind, not only did she not stop, she came.

Everything had spiralled from there.

'It started with Ali's mother, Shona,' I told her.

'The one you fucked?'

I took a breath. 'Yes.'

'Sorry.'

'She was... I felt her, you know, getting herself off in her bedroom while I was staying with Ali. I... played a little. It wasn't that I'd never been tempted before, but... that night, I just couldn't help it.'

Hannah nodded. 'I get that. The build-up to sex can be intense, when you're a virgin. So, when it was so close by, you took what you could get.'

'I suppose.'

Hannah thought about it for a moment. 'It's like the psychic version of googling hentai for the first time. You've always been tempted, maybe you've even looked at normal porn before. But, in crossing that boundary, a part of you changes. No going back.'

I watched the water smooth out as the goose took off. 'What a batshit, yet apt metaphor.'

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.'

She sighed. 'You want an ice cream? I'll buy. Not that it really measures up as a thank-you for earlier, but still.'

'I'm not expecting a thank-you for helping you take revenge on your ex, but yes, I would love a Magnum.'

'Bet you would,' she chipped, before bouncing up and heading off towards the boat house shop. I watched her go, her fantastic butt shaped but the fabric stretched around them, and the bounce in her step tipping me off that she knew I was watching.

I rubbed my eyes, a strange sort of tired washing over me. It was deeper than just the physical sort of tired - which would have been understandable, considering the morning we'd had. As I watched the water, I thought about how it was more complex than just the physical. Since that night, when I'd snaked into Shona's head and allowed this gift I had to warp into some sexually-motivated wrench in my life, it had become the sort of tired that is born from within, not without. It had nothing to do with my muscles.

Since that day, I had been bouncing from high to low, from blissful pleasures and addicting control, to losing my family and almost destroying it completely, all within days. Within hours.

My brain was so focused on navigating all of these things, all of the people I had, for lack of a better phrase, had my way with, that the only release from that was just to do it again. The only refrain I had from the consequences of my actions, was to repeat my actions somewhere else.

Talk about a toxic cycle.

A shadow blocked the light on my face, and, expecting it to be Hannah, I patted the bench next to me.

'Oh - okay!' a voice chirped, and it wasn't until I looked up and saw her face that I realised my mistake. It wasn't Hannah at all.

It was Ali.

'Hey!' I said, a bubble of surprise and excitement popping out of me. We shared a hug, before we both sat back, sort of facing each other on the little bench. 'Your mum told me you were back tomorrow!'

She nodded. 'That was the plan, yeah - me and Sam ended up managing to sneak on an earlier train, to surprise her.'

'Oh wow - I bet she loved that,' I smiled, thinking of how Shona had invited me back to hers to soil the sheets. I wondered how loud the war within her, between her heart and her libodo, would be.

'Hopefully! I haven't seen her yet - we went to the house, but she wasn't there so we just dropped off our bags and thought we'd try and catch her on the dog-walking route.'

'Well, she was around her a couple hours ago,' I said. 'Not sure where she's off to now.'

Ali nodded, her gaze drifting to the water. It was an odd sort of feeling, seeing her again. That guilt - the crushing, consuming regret that I had experienced daily in the last weeks of our relationship, stemming from what I'd done to her, how I'd treated her - was gone. Where it had gone, or what it had turned into, I wasn't sure.

But, when I looked at her, and the way her cheekbones cut a line across her face, and how her skin had tanned a way the Cumbrian sun would never have achieved, all I saw was someone who was better off for the distance between us.

She was dressed, I realised, in something close to hiking clothes; her backpack was dumped on the floor on her other side, thick and full of whatever it was she was hauling around. Her tee was a black-and-white stripe, and over it she had a bright red waterproof that shimmered in the sun. Her cargo shorts were too big for her, and bunched a little around her waist - and, when I noticed that, I realised I was looking for too long.

Still, it was hard for me to ignore the fact that I knew how she looked under there. Part of me would neer forget her. My first.

I was her first, too, sure - but for me, it wasn't just in a sexual sense. She was the first person I'd taken. With Shona, it was low-level manipulation. Pushing some images.

Ali...

Ali I had warped the mind of, until she begged me to fuck her; I had made her cum on my cock so many times I'd become used to her babbling voice while her hips ground into mine, her chin on my shoulder as her handful-tits pressed into me, my hands on her tight arse.

I remembered the way her hot breath felt on my neck. How her body stuck to mine between the sheets of her bed.

'Who's this?' I heard, snapping me out of my trance. Over my shoulder, I saw Hannah with two ice creams in her hands, the white dribbling over her knuckle.

'Oh, sorry-' Ali stammered, standing awkwardly. 'Hey, I'm Ali.'

'Hannah,' Hannah said, passing me my cone. She glanced down at me. 'They were out of Magnums.'

I took it, licking up some of the melting sweetness. 'Thanks, Hannah,' I said, suddenly realising how weird this was.

I tuned in, and could feel Hannah getting... territorial? Is that what this was?

Ali wasn't the same - she was awkward, kind of like me. She knew that she'd stumbled into a moment that would have gone better if Hannah had been here to start with. With Hannah, I pulled down any aggression, letting her settle a little; with Ali, I took away the awkwardness, hoping that it would make the whole situation roll over nicely.

'If you see my mum,' Ali said, grabbing her bag and pulling it up to her shoulders, 'let me know. You still have my number?'

I nodded, standing. 'Uhh, yeah, I think.'

Ali went in for a quick hug, and I reciprocated - she was smaller, bonier than Hannah. When she pulled away, she gave Hannah a quick wave. 'Nice to meet you!'

Hannah gave her a smile, and waved with her cone. 'And you!'

Ali turned and left, and I turned to Hannah.

'You calmed me down, didn't you,' she said, eyeing me up.

I sighed. 'I just didn't fancy a fight. She's an ex, back to see her mum. No point in a bust-up.'

Hannah shrugged. 'Nah, you're right. Plus - she's cute. I get it.'

I followed Hannah's eyeline, and realised that she was watching Ali wander down the trail path, back towards the road. 'Yeah?'

Hannah nodded. 'Would you be open to, you know... a little reunion.'

I snorted. 'She had a boyfriend.'

'So did I,' she quipped. 'Plus - let him join.'

I looked at her, surprised. 'Let him join?'

She shrugged again, licking the ice cream. The white looked good on her lips. 'Like you've never been interested. Plus, if she's your ex, chances are you've already used your gift on her, right?'

I nodded. 'Yeah. She was the first, really.'

'So, did she leave you?'

I paused, confused. 'What?'

'Did she leave you? When you used your power to, I assume, fuck her silly. Did she hate it? You would know.'

It was a strange question, and one I hadn't really asked myself. 'She didn't leave me. I ended it, because I felt guilty.'

'So - she knew you were so good in bed it was like having your brain melt - and trust me, I know what that's like - and she didn't leave you? Sounds to me like she'd be up for some fun.' Hannah wiped her mouth. 'Plus, I've always fancied turning some good little straight girl into a pussy-craving thing.'

I laughed. 'Oh, have you?'

She nodded, seriously. 'Absolutely.'

I considered it for a moment, knowing that it was... risky. Then again, I was moving in a week or two. What did I have to lose?

'I have a way to put this together,' I told her. 'Tonight.'

Hannah smiled, then took a slow, playful step towards me. Her kiss tasted like vanilla and sprinkles. 'You do treat me well.'

* * *

Hannah, understandably, had heard my plan and decided that she wasn't needed for it until tonight, and elected to go home and freshen up. She was still, of course, wearing most of what she'd worn to work that morning, and there'd been a long, vulgar morning spent since then of pleasure and debauchery. In all truth, I probably could have done with a shower myself.

However, what I did instead was test a limit of mine.

I sat on a stone wall opposite one of the hotels in the center of the village, closed my eyes, and tuned in. Only, when I tuned, instead of filtering people out and focusing in on a specific mind, instead I opened up, taking in the whole village.

The pure informational weight of several thousand people in the surrounding buildings slew into my mind - a menagerie of boredom, happiness, heartbreak, sexual bliss and pain. It was enormous, like standing directly in front of a speaker at a music festival, or like someone ramed a foghorn down my ear cavity and leant on it hard.

I could feel the whirling emotions and whipping thoughts of a ridiculous amount of people, and quickly began to feel sick because of it. Nauseous, almost.

But, I found what I was looking for. Somewhere in the mess, I could feel Shona, up in the hills, her mental signature unmistakable. After all, there were still a few of the marks on there I'd put there myself. Whoops.

Her presence was almost a half-mile west of me, out through the walking trail that threaded between two of the hills that shaped the valley around us. Although, she felt slightly further out than the typical dog-walker's trail.

But, hey, I knew where she was now, so I dropped Hannah a text saying Found her, and made my way out the western trail. To do so, however, took me up past the home of Erin and Holly. There was nothing but a sick heaviness in my stomach as I passed that front door, remembering how I'd pushed my dad to leave, before going in and molding Holly into a willing receptacle for my rage.

I swallowed the memory of her - and what I'd done to her. Partially because of the shame I felt in what I'd done. And partially because that heavy guilt was morphing under the weight of repressed lust that hid beneath.

I may regret it now - but a part of me, some sick part of me, wanted to do what I had done to her. And to Erin.

God, what kind of person am I?

I continued up the hill, past the house, and the curve of the cul de sac they lived on. There was a trailed that bisected the road, cutting between two lovely, large houses, fenced on either side. Trees and wilderness beckoned from further down, where the gardens gave way to the hills. As I followed the beaten-path that split off from the concrete, I passed another dog-walker I didn't recognise, his smile as polite as the nod he gave me, as we squeezed past each other.

Then, into the green I went.

I could remember, vaguely, the presence of Shona I had felt from the village - though, I hadn't spent much time looking into her status. I hadn't bothered to check how she was - I was only interested in my needs. Annoyed at myself, I branched out again, tuning into the world and allowing the minds of those around me bleed into mine.

I hissed, stumbling as I sought her out again - searching for the mind in the mess of the wilderness.

It didn't take long - and, this time, as I looked for not just her presence, but her state of mind, I felt the oddest set of emotions radiating off her.

Excitement. Nerves. Arousal. Anticipation. It felt as though she were psyching herself up for something. Something... naughty.

I let out an amused laugh, soft and meant only for myself, and travelled in the direction I could feel her. Once I was locked in, I stayed on her, feeling my way towards her, allowing my feet to just... follow.

In the sun, the woods at the base of the mountains and hills were gorgeous. Sun broke through the leaves, casting shadows over my shoes as I walked, the gravel underfoot beating a steady rhythm that I let lead me deeper into the wilds.

Eventually, I came to a point where the path strayed left, following a natural gap between the trees - and yet, Shona's presence, if that's what it was to be called, wanted to pull me to the right.

I felt, in some ways, like a bloodhound - chasing the faint, but ever-strengthening signal she was giving off, deeper into the trees. I walked between boulders that had long-ago slipped down the mountainside and settled either side of the streams that trickled towards the rivers nearby, all feeding into the lake in the end.

Following what seemed like a guerilla walking path, carved out of the underbrush off the beaten path of the tourists and easy-walkers, I followed the water more closely, Shona's mind beckoning me closer, until I could almost smell her.

'Shona?' I asked, turning a corner of thick trees, bushes and boulders. I half expected the dog to jump out at me, but instead all I heard was a muted yip of surprise, and a scuffle.

I paused, focusing my mind. There wasn't anyone else there - but neither was there a dog.

So what was she doing out here?

'Uhh,' I heard, nervous and stilted as I pressed a tree branch to the side; the thick foliage blocked what could only be described as a hidden clearing, a gap in the trees and rocks that had, naturally, created a little ten-foot wide space off the beaten track. And, in the middle of it, was Shona, scrambling to stand.

She saw me, and as our eyes met and the understanding between us passed, she zipped up her trousers, a guilty expression crawling across her face.

A moment of tension passed, before I let out a burst of laughter.

She joined, and I dropped my 'tuning' of her - it was all panic and confusion and relief and latent arousal.

'What... on earth...'

'Jamie-' she said, wiping her face. 'You fucking scared me!'

Then, she leaned into me, grabbed my shirt, and yanked me deeper into the little clearing. The branch snapped back into place behind me, and there was a sudden sort of isolation that came in, smothering the world away.

'What... what is this place, Shona? What are you doing out here in the woods?'

She shrugged as I turned, realising that she was right on my - chest to chest, just about. 'It's, uhh, where I go. When I need space. Alone.'

I narrowed my eyes at her. 'I thought you were dog-walking.'

'He's with a sitter,' she said, taking a shaky breath. I could feel all of that arousal, bubbling up beneath her shock and confusion - even without the need to tune in to her.

It clicked what kind of 'alone' time she meant.

'So... you come here to...' I said, hoping she would take the lead and finish my sentence.

She nodded, biting her lip. She looked... ravenous. Like an animal caught mid-hunt, heart beating fast, breathing shallow and short, her hair a little a-mess and her fingers trailing on my arms.

'I'm glad you're here,' she said, her voice low. Husky. Not like the Shona I knew typically.

'...In the woods?'

'It's a little more naughty,' she said, her voice lilting as her hand travelled to my chest, dragging her fingernails down my shirt a little as she made her way south. 'The chance of being caught, even out here... ever since I caught you and Ali, I've had a thing for wandering eyes,' she said, as her hand caught a loop on my belt.

My breath caught in my throat as she tugged, pulling me closer to her by the hips. 'Yeah?'

Shone nodded. 'And, after our last tryst, I've just been dying for you to come back to me, Jamie. I thought you might come by tonight, before Ali got back-'

'She's back already,' I said quickly, before thinking it through. I watched the information register on Shona's face before her eyes turned to steel.

'Then we'd better use the time we have, eh?'

Then, without another word, Shona slipped down me, her knees landing in the mud with a dull thud, and her fingers quickly, expertly popped open my fly, easily tugging down my trousers, over my hips.

'Shit!' I didn't know what else to say - from what I had seen inside her head, she was already close, and I wondered how she would have made herself cum out here in the woods if I hadn't interrupted her.