Mine & Yours Pt. 03

I try not to think about today with Shane and focus on him and I. I just want to be with my brother, to hold him, and we are having less and less time, and I feel worn.

After mother has said goodnight to me, I open my window and remove the mesh before I sit down on my bed and wait for my brother to finish his shower and come see me.

'ra...Cara... Cara.'

'Hmm?' I wake up slowly, laying on my bed with Dante sitting over me on the bed. I fell asleep.

'Hey,' Dante says leaning against the wall, 'sorry, I didn't want to wake you but you should probably get in the covers.'

'No, stay,' I say in a sleepy voice and move closer to him to hug myself against his chest, 'I've missed you.'

'I've missed you too,' I tilt my head up and his lips find mine and before I know it we're making out, and the room is filled with the sounds of our lips meeting and departing over and over, really hard.

'I can't,' Dante says, pushing me off him in a move that leaves me feeling hollow, 'I'm sorry but I have game coming.'

Oh, right. 'Is there anything to worry about, concerning the possibility of you getting benched?'

'What?' he says in genuine surprise, 'of course not.'

'Even against Talula?'

'Oh for fuck sakes Cara,' Dante groans rubbing his skin from the edge of his eyes to the bridge of his nose, 'who told you about that?'

'Tori, the twins, even Shane is worried Dante,' I know he's going to play it down so I'm not concerned but that's not helpful, 'please just tell me the truth.'

'The truth Cara, is that Talula is faster than me and that's where it ends,' Dante says tiredly, 'I've been in the team for as long as he's had pubes and he's never started in a game that need him to score. He comes on for me after I've done all the hard work and thinks he's can do what I do. Trust me, even if I did get benched it wouldn't be for long.'

'Okay,' I don't know if that's actually reassuring me but I have to trust him, after all he's the one with more reason to not trust me, 'Dante, about the college party.'

'You did what you had to,' Dante says quickly without meeting my eyes, 'we don't have to talk about it.'

I know it hurt him, I could see when I told him as clearly as I can see right now.

How hard would it have been for me to say I had changed my mind, or that I didn't want to do it in a cramped pantry, or to just pretend I felt ill.

Dante managed to keep the slut of all time Tori Andrews off him all the way till the end of the night and I couldn't just tell Shane no.

'I'm sorry Dante.'

He sighs, tiredness falling from his lips, 'Cara...'

I place my hand to his cheek and make him look at me, 'I love you. More than anything, more than Shane, you know that don't you?'

'Cara...'

'Dante please.'

'Cara enough!' He pulls my hand away, and I can feel the fast burn of tears already in my eyes.

His own eyes look so tired and turn away from me, he buries his head in his hands and it feels like I'm going die from the pain in my chest.

'I'm too tired for this.' Dante rises to his feet, he plants a kiss on my lips but there's nothing behind it, just the motion without the feeling.

When he leaves and I dive into my pillow to muffle the sounds of my crying.

* * * * * *

'Come on Dante, it's been forever.' Tori says we shut the door of her car after school.

She's been dressing a little more conservatively, which is still pretty racy for her standards.

Tori drops her tied up dark hair and it falls perfectly around her face. She leans over to my seat and holding my face and kissing my neck.

'There's no way you aren't harder that a diamond in those pants.' Tori's hand creeps up down my body in the direction of my belt but I stop her before she gets there.

I'm too drained to be hard, though I admit, Tori makes that hard too. 'I just can't.'

Tori pauses then leans away from me. 'We're done with practice and I have a whole fucking house to myself, what do you mean you can't?'

I can't because I'm not allowed to and the thought of Cara and Shane together hasn't left my mind, and I couldn't do the same to her.

I sigh, rubbing my brow to the bridge of my nose, again and again.

'Tori, I—.'

'What! You what Dante? What excuse are you going to use today?' her words are sharp and cutting, 'You're tired? You have to go study, you have do your chores, you have do dig a trench in the middle of the fucking ocean! What Dante! WHAT!'

'Enough! I shouldn't have to fucking explain myself in the first place, what difference does it make if I don't want to have sex you. Are you going to stop being in love with me, is that what all this was about?'

'Don't try to flip this asshole, you know it's not! And don't think I haven't noticed that you haven't once said it back to me!' Tori moves back to her own seat crashing heavy with frustration.

Tori looks far out the windshield before her face drops, then her head, which she then holds in her hands, 'I miss you, so fucking much, and it's like you don't even care.'

Fucking hell, and I actually miss her too and I'm just so fucking tired, 'Tori I—'

'Remember when we just started dating and you couldn't keep your hands off me. Not even the sex, though, also the sex,' Tori raises her head and breathes out a small laugh, 'but it was also the little things. Like if I stood too far from you you'd pull me back and hold me in your arms. So I would always stand almost too far from you just so you would.'

Hell. Fucking hell and all its shit.

'Listen Tori—'

'Is it another girl?' Tori asks turning her face from me and looking out the window, 'just tell me if it is, cause it's better than thinking I don't mean anything to you any more if the real reason is just that somebody else means more.'

God dammit, what the fuck am I supposed to say? 'No, of course it's not, when would I even have the time?'

'I don't know but,' she shakes her head and then her body begins to shakes from falling tears, 'I hate that after all this time you still don't love me.'

FUCK ME.

* * * * * *

'Dante,' Shane says taking a seat next to me in against the lockers, 'dude, are you okay? You know you could talk to me.'

I pull hard at the laces of my boots to get out of them. 'I'm fine.' I reply to Shane without looking up.

Why you? Of all the people in this rotten world why'd it have to be you who saw Cara the same way I did?

'Are you sure?' Shane asks again, 'look I don't mean to kick you when you're down but—'

'Then fucking don't Shane!' and while you're at it, don't bang my sister!

I've risen to my feet and now the whole team is staring at me, even that little prick Talula with his stupid cornrows, smirking.

'Donald,' the coach calls me over and I know this can't be good, 'my office.'

I sit down in the chair while he closes the door and sits at his desk.

'Look son, you're not a child so I don't treat you like one, so if you're having a hard time right now, I want you to be honest with me.'

I have been shit.

The last game was down to the wire and Brad only just managed to bail us out, whereas I couldn't hit the back of the net if it was as wide as the pitch.

Then practice has been woeful, I learned that word this week because of how fucking woeful is was. All that and my form has been going in one direction and its straight to the floor.

'I'm okay, I promise, I just...' what asshole, I just what? Haven't been banging my girlfriend because I'm cheating on her with my sister who cheated on me with my bestfriend who's technically her boyfriend and now everyone's up my ass about it.

'I just haven't been fu—'

'Dante, you don't have to lie to me.' coach says.

Holy shit, I hope that's actually what I was about to do!

Coach leans forward and looks me in the eyes, 'Whatever your problem is, it's yours and it's fine if you'd rather not tell me. All I need to know is if it'll be sorted by game day. Were heading into the playoffs son and I need to know my best team.'

I've never had to have this talk, I'm reliable, always. 'Yeah, I promise, I'll be ready.'

Coach looks me square and I don't think he believes it, probably because I don't believe it either.

'Look Dante, you've always been one of best players and you're the captain now. So obviously you're my guy in the next game, just like you've always been,' Coach says reassuringly, 'but you need to know, if you don't show up, Talula takes your place, and keeps it until you can prove you deserve it more. Understand?'

I rub my brow to the bridge of nose. 'Of course I do.'

I don't score, I get subbed, I get benched, I get replaced, I don't get recruited, Cara doesn't go to a good school.

* * * * * *

'He's got to get his shit together,' Bradley says while Dante still hasn't arrived at the lunch table, 'Tori, what the fuck have you been doing?'

Tori has been completely quiet with her head down and is softly playing with her food, she looks up at Bradley with eyes that could kill before looking back down.

'Okay then.' Bradley says taken aback.

'He's still starting tomorrow's game, so the coaches at least haven't lost faith in him.' Shane says with his hand locked into mine, I really want to pull it away, even if Dante isn't here.

'Shine, you've never had competition for your place,' Bradley says, 'just because Dee is starting doesn't mean they have faith in him, it might just be their way of covering their asses so when everyone sees that Dante sucks now, Talula can become the new guy and they don't get heat for any of it.'

I hate this conversation so much, this is Dante's team, I could see from the first day and every day after, everything flows through him, and now that he's having one dry spell they're ready to toss him to the side.

All because I couldn't keep it my stupid pants, or in Shane's.

'Does anyone know where he is?' I ask finally because it's like no one cares.

Everybody looks at eachother waiting for someone else to answer.

'He left school early,' Tori says mutely without picking her head up, she points a fork towards Bradley, 'he went to see your brother,'

* * * * * *

'That might be the most fucked up story I have ever heard,' Rosco says, before sighing heavily and placing a hand on my shoulder, 'I'm sorry Dante.'

'Thanks.' I bury my head in my hands, we're sitting on a big rock in the backyard of his frat house after I left school early. I'll still have to go back for practice after this with a game tomorrow evening.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, 'It wasn't supposed to be like this, I just wanted... I don't know what I wanted.'

'You wanted your sister, that seems pretty obvious,' Rosco answers, 'but you did the right thing at first by trying to move on from those feelings, it just got messy when it turned out that she wanted you too.'

Yeah, I guess so. Really messy.

'Tori?' Rosco asks, and I know what he's asking.

I sigh, shutting my eyes, 'I think I'm falling for her too.'

'God fucking dammit,' Rosco says more tiredly than anything, 'yeah, that makes sense. My little brother was an idiot for ever letting that one go.'

'What do I do?' I ask him.

'You still want to go pro?'

I nod, 'It's my dream, and Cara wants to go to school.'

'Honestly, dude, if you want to know what I think and keep in mind I don't have a little sister to bang and a girlfriend to cheat on but,' he looks up and far off, 'this thing with your sister, it's only going to get you into deeper shit, shit that won't ever stop coming for you or for her if you want to have a normal life, and Tori, well she deserves a guy who isn't going to cheat on her for once.'

'I have to make a choice, don't I?'

'Yep,' Roscoe gets up and heads toward the house but then stops, 'and I know this where I leave you to figure it out on your own, but I'm just going to come out and say it right now.'

Rosco walks back to me and puts both hands on my shoulder, looking me in the eyes, 'Choose Tori.'

* * * * * *

'He's not even starting? I thought Shane said—'

'He didn't show up for practice yesterday after going to see Rosco,' Tori says in her now typical brooding state, 'that was enough. Now come on, we still have to do our jobs.'

What the hell happened with Rosco? I didn't see him the whole of today either, I'm not even confident he came to school.

Dante, my love, please be okay. Could he really not know that I love him? It seems impossible but I still feel so scared.

The half time whistle blows and we can sit down while the teams go to their locker rooms. It's 1-1.

Dante was right, Talula has speed and not much else, Bradley has been carrying the game on his shoulders and he looks like he's going to snap Talula's neck if he misses another chance that Brad sets up for him.

'They have to put Dante in now don't they?' I ask... Kimi?

'They might but—'

'It's not your fucking job to coach the team Cara!' Tori yells angrily to me, 'your job is to not fucking mess up every fucking time!'

'I'm sorry,' it's not even that I'm forgetting the moves, though I might have a few times, I just would rather be watching the game, 'I'll get it the next half.'

'Don't fucking bother,' Tori turns around and waves a casual hand roughly in Tabitha's direction, 'Tabby, you're up. Cara just hold the fucking signs!'

Tabitha can barely contain the grin she flashes me painted across her face, though I doubt she's trying to all that hard.

2-1, we're losing, by now they have to put Dante in. Our team, for some reason, are even playing better now that we're down, we just need a goal.

The man who holds the numbers moves to the sideline and holds up the number 9 and 13, Dante for Talula, and the crowd cheers.

Finally, fucking finally.

Dante sprints on and shows hand signals to Brad who looks like he nods understanding.

The team plays better with Dante in and even the crowd seems to have picked up. Tori is working everyone really hard and I think we're losing our voices, either tonight or tomorrow.

Dante is running everywhere, at people and around them, diving at chances. He's trying practically everything to score.

Dante gets tackled hard and I gasp. He doesn't get up, he's not getting up.

No, no, no no no no no.

I am fighting the urge to not sprint onto the field and check on my boyfriend.

The game ends, and we've lost.

Stretchered off the pitch, Dante is injured.