All Comments on 'Mr. Bonivich and His Women Ch. 01'

I strongly recommend that you get an editor. Your story contained numerous typos and grammatical errors that detract pulled me, your reader, out of the story.

You started with some interesting tidbits. They had to move because of another being canned. What happenned? Why was he, as a rookie at his first job, selected?

Then we got very little about Mr. Bonivich other than she thought he was ugly. Why did they invite him in. Why did her husband leave them alone? If you flesh this out, it could be intersting. Godd luck. Ttom

should learn to spell himself before being critical towards others. The story as such was not to my liking. It seems to me this should be in another category - namely: Mind control.

This story ought to be in 'mind-control' or non-consent, not loving wives. The wife is not 'cheating' if she cannot help it, she is being sexually assaulted or raped.

This part, Ch. 01 of the "story," left me with no feeling at all. The story was poorly written and it needed an editor as others have stated. There was no logic to this story. It was so short, there was no character development. Unless drugs were slipped into Karen's glass of wine, I can't imagine a young, newly-married woman ever, ever doing what Karen did with this elderly neighbor. I really don't see a way to rescue this yarn but maybe the author has something up his "dominant" sleeve.

This was a story or the beginning of one? If it was meant to be one or the other, you wasted your time in writing and posting it and I wasted my time in reading it and replying. I thought you deserved some score, even if it was the lowest of lows.

Well you got my interest worked up, looks like the old man is going to get him some young pussy. It will be interesting to how he is going to do it. I hope to see the next chapter soon.....Rich

OK, I agree with some of the other comments, but I wouldn't be that hard on yourself. You started writting and your second chapter was good enough that I wanted to get started at your begining so as you developed the plot and the characters I have it from the begining. So I look forward to your developement as a writer and author.

Your hero is a pig so how is him takeing a happily married wife and fucking up two lives erotic. A father can overpower a 12 year old daughter and fuck her life up also but that is rape and not erotic. With fantasy's like these no wonder your wife left, you need help!

People who dislike stories of men outperforming other men and stealing their wives - kindly stay away. At least have the decency not to insult the writer.

Great story! More of this hot old buck please!

Villain visits with bottle of wine to visit gorgeous wife and her husband and husband immediately gets a call from the office to come in so that he has to leave gorgeous wife alone with letcherous neighbor. Can't Literotica come up with some new ideas, the time worn ones that your writer use get a little tiring.

the Ct. Yankee

Very nice, keep it up

An asshole and a whore, a new subject for a LW story.

Just read the opening no need to read the rest. Crock of shit and the author is full of the same!