Mr Computer Cleaner Ch. 07

"Yeah and long may it last. Listen, I've going to visit John."

"It's late to be going out, and who's John?"

"I'm going to the toilet, silly."

"Oh."

When Dio returned he found Carra fast asleep. He carried her to bed and she barely stirred.

He kissed her gently and whispered good night.

Dio set the bedside radio alarm to 6:00; he had plans for first thing in the morning, beginning with a shared shower! Then they would wander off for a romantic breakfast down by the river. Surely at least one of those places on restaurant row would offer the right setting, menu and service.

* * *

They left for home at 9:00 the next day, waved off by a smiling Dolores. Carmen had been so proud of her mother. When Cal came around from packing in their luggage, Dolores had taken him by the hand and whispered something to him. Cal bent over and she kissed him, patting him on the back as she did so.

Soon after he'd been dropped off at his mother's house, with Carra packing her things in preparation for shifting back to her mother's house, Dio headed as arrange for Al's Steak & Salad Bar in Lake Street to lunch late with Louise, Sarisha, Mike and Celina. They had a happy hour together with conversation including the women talking about their own wedding days.

They broke up cheerfully with everyone advising Dio to take it easy. He kissed the women and shook hands with Mike, reminding Mike not to be late for the Royal Command dinner that evening.

Dio went down to the old school site. Changes were noticeable. The entire perimeter of the property had been re-fenced, a 6-foot fence around lots one and two, with new heavy gauge steel gates across the Memorial Arch and an 8ft fence around lot three where the courier firm would be relocating over the weekend.

One of the two-storey classroom blocks – designated at the national head officer of Mr Computer Cleaner Ltd - had been gutted and was being relined and some of the windows and roofing replaced. The ground floor would be used for holding new vehicles for franchisees to collect and for general storage while upstairs was being converted into five offices, an operations room and a training room.

But Dio's main interest was in another two-storey block conversion, the general manager's home which would be his and Carra's home for the next year. Although the renovation plans were expected to be approved by the planning department at the council that very afternoon, the architects had already let the building contract and the builders were removing all the windows and were tearing out the linings. They were under orders not to make any structural changes until the building permit was issued.

Dio walked through the mess and didn't require a plan in his hands to visualize the changes being made as he'd already committed the plan to memory, having the kind of mind that enabled him to do that so easily.

"Hi Bruce," he called to the building foreman. Bruce came over and they chatted warmly, having gone to high school together, although Bruce had been a class a head of him. But they trained and run races together.

"You're going to get a very solid quite modern house out of this for very little expenditure," Bruce said. "It was the last classroom to be built and its sound throughout and, I'm pleased to report, everything is absolutely square and straight. You don't always find that with commercial structures."

It was 2:30 and he was due at the Flemings at 3:00 ready for the arrival of Dolores any time after 3:30. The restaurant dinner wasn't due to start until 8:00 so Dio wondered how they would entertain Dolores for all that time; get her drunk, perhaps?

He phoned Cal.

"G'day mate," Cal said. "Pissed yet?"

"Nah, only had two beers. What about you?"

"No, the Little General hasn't allowed me out of her sight since sun-up. One of my jobs has been to dust all items in the china cabinets. Would you believe that – me!"

"I could very well believe that Cal. You must remember you oath about ogres. Look, why I'm phoning is for a little support. I will dress up for this afternoon but I'm bloody well not going to be wearing a suit jacket until this evening. It will spread the wrath if you do the same."

"What, not wear a jacket? I'm sorry, mate but I..."

"Cal!"

"What?"

"Do you want to wear a jacket?"

"No, of course not. But..."

"Make a stand, Cal. There's nothing wrong with complying with reasonable requests you agree with. But if compliance is repugnant or even gets up your nose a tiny bit, then consider your options and act appropriately."

"Carmen considers that often I do not have options available to me."

"Then you know what to do, Cal. If you want to be unreasonably manipulated by ogres then that's your choice. Carmen's just a pussy cat, Cal. The flashing eyes, the electricity zapping out of her fingers and the orders ripping through the air like a chainsaw are just and act. She's sixty per cent water, Cal, and she knows that. However, whatever you decide is fine by me, Cal. See you soon."

Dio switched off his phone, made a flask of coffee and went for a walk through the gully to the far end and watched children with their mothers feeding ducks in the pond. He then wandered back, had a shave and then a shower, dressed, yawned, checked to clock to make sure that it was at least 3:10 – it was 3:25 – and then drove off, wondering how many frantic calls would have been made to his phone.

As he parked outside the Fleming's property Carra came flying at him and almost pinned him across the hood of the ute. She smothered him in kisses and then jumped away before he could lay a hand on her.

"Proceed with caution," she said, noticing that he wasn't wearing his suit jacket. "There's been a big row – daddy has taken it into his head that he's not going to wear his suit jacket until this evening. Mama tore into him as usual and she dissolved into tears and fled to the bedroom when he made a crack that she's forty per cent noise and sixty per cent water. She's screamed that he's never spoken to her like that in their entire time together. What should we do? It sounds as if you've been coaching daddy again."

"Umm, I might have let something slip but never mind. He wasn't supposed to do the jacket confrontation until I was here in support. I'll fix it."

Dio found Cal downing a whisky, looking quite relaxed.

"Hi Dio. The shit's hit the fan but I'm great. For the first time for a very long time I actually can feel blood flowing through my veins; I love it."

"Don't gloat daddy, she won't be able to cope with that."

"Right, so the guy with all the answers. What do we do know before the Ogre of Las Pampas arrives?"

"What!" said Carra, shocked.

"Just our pet name for Dolores – just forget you heard what Cal said," Dio soothed.

"Cal, mix a Margarita. Take it in and be ever so sweet but firm that she must drink it otherwise she'll not be up to hosting her mama properly. Say you are sorry for upsetting her – but don't apologize for taking your stand, otherwise you're back to square one. Got that?"

"Yeah – it's a piece of cake. You guys want a Margarita?" They didn't.

While Cal was busy being barman, Carra said to Dio she was astonished to see the apparent hold Dio had on her father.

Taking her out to the kitchen to make coffee, he replied: "Nah, you're misreading it. I'm simply telling him things he wants to hear; that's all. He asked where was Shona.

"There was a crisis over Shona's shoes – they were dyed to match her dress but had gone darker. The shoe repair man hadn't any lighter blue dyes so Shona has gone in to sort it out – she was very experience in hair and in clothing dye blending."

At 2:50 there was a telephone call. Cal called out, "They're three minutes away. We all better move across to the reserve. The landing area has been roped off but the permit required at least two people must be on the ground to keep any excited children from running into the cordoned off area."

The helicopter came in so quickly and had settled on to the ground before the first neighbors were peering over their fences. Dolores emerged to be greeted by Carmen and Hal and by then the helicopter was taking off.

A Council workman drove up in a one-tonner and began dismantling the standards and plastic warning tape that had ringed the area.

"Won't they need that for the flight back this evening?" Dio asked.

"No, it will be a night landing when the helicopter returns so that will be at the airport where they are proper facilities," Carra explained.

"My darling," Dolores cried and Carra ran into the wide opened arms.

While waiting for his turn Dio looked at Hal, looking happy, still without his jacket, and clutching his arm adoringly was a radiant Carmen. She'd once told Dio that the Margarita was her favorite drink but she rarely drank it because it "did something" to her.

Half an hour later after the tour of the house and afternoon tea Carra announced that Carmen looked tired and should have a nap, that she, daddy and Dio would take Dolores on a tour of the town.

"I'll stay with Carmen and take any phone calls," Hal said casually, tossing the keys to the Range Rover to Dio.

Dio and Carra took Dolores in a tour of the town and also went to the old school site, The Knoll and went passed the farmhouse and Dio's house.

During the tour Carra received a call that made her really excited.

"Tina, Tina – how lovely to hear your voice – just a moment where traveling and I'll just let the others know. It's my bridesmaid Tina Scott. She flew in from London very early this morning and is now here staying with her aunt and uncle."

Carra returned to her call and found that Tina already had been to the dressmaker's to have her first and final fitting – the measurements supplied to the dressmaker had been followed accurately. Tina was now having late lunch with the chief bridesmaid and their mutual school friend, Shona Livingstone. And yes, Shona had told her about the dinner this evening.

"You'd better scamper home and get some sleep," Carra urged, "although real jet lag won't hit you until tomorrow. Really, I find that difficult to believe. Will catch you soon."

Dolores asked what Tina had said that Carra didn't believe.

"She said that's why she drinks beer – drink enough of it and one doesn't get jet lag she claims, but I cannot believe that."

"Perhaps if she over-indulges in beer the hangover will be so bad she will not have to worry about jet lag," Dio offered.

"Yes," Dolores said. "That sounds plausible."

They returned to the Flemings' home to fine Carmen alone. Cal had gone off to the lake to meet a motorcade of seven camper vans that were arriving at the camping ground, bringing his parents, his three brothers and wives and some of their married children. Carmen had decided that she could not split her time between her mother and her in-laws so she opted to stay at home, with Cal having to hurry back late for Dolores' dinner.

Of course, Cal could have receive a burst in the ear from his mother for only staying with them for two hours. But he said she had been sweet about it.

The wedding party and the priest who would conduct the wedding service were guests of Dolores in a private room at the town's top restaurant. The table and room were beautifully decorated and even Dolores, who was used to extravagant dining out internationally, was impressed.

Cal arrived just as people were being seated, earning a look of gratitude from his wife who'd kept in touch by phone.

Dolores sat at the head of the table with Dio and Carra next to her facing each other. Father Bryan was at the other end with Cal and Carmen. The wedding attendants were between those two groups.

Every fifteen minutes Dolores rang a tiny glass bell and everyone would move one place to the left. After two and a half hours guests were back at their original seat. Everyone agreed it was a great way to 'mix and meet'.

Father Bryan proved to be the dominant character of the party. He'd rattled off a short string of jokes at intervals, and then grasping his refilled glass of red wine would ask a question of one of the guests. Invariably that initiated group discussion. None of the jokes was obscene and some were deliciously funny.

Just after 10:30 Dolores decided it was time to end the function. She thanked everyone for coming, and especially thanked Hal and Carmen for their hard work and generosity for bringing everyone together for what promised to be a grand event.

"My daughter Carmen has truly worked magnificently to give Carra a wonderful wedding," she said, causing Carmen to flush with pleasure.

"Carra and Dio, enjoy tomorrow and may you have a wonderful life together."

Mike thanked Dolores on behalf of everyone and Dio proposed a thank you toast for her.

Dolores then rang her little bell, and a waitress came in with a black leather bag. Dolores began handing out gifts – "Blue for boys, pink for the ladies."

Each man including Father Bryan received a top designer brand sports watch and each woman an etched quality silver jewelry box for rings and earrings.

Out on the street there was much excitement as temporary farewells were made; all would meet again next day. Carra was reduced to tears after hugging Dio goodbye.

The women and Father Bryan left. Carra took Carmen home and then went off to have a quiet drink with her bridesmaids.

Dolores looked at her watch.

"I don't have to be at the airport until 11:15 so have one and a half hours to kill. Boys, please accompany me to a night club or the best bar in town as my guests. Cal, you are responsible for delivering me to the airport in time. Let's party!"

They only had to walk half a block and were at the Black Leather Strip Club.

"Oh – one of those places. Well, if this is the only night club in town it shall have to do. I am not unfamiliar with such places."

Cal grabbed hold of Dio and whispered: "If word gets out we went to this place, Carmen will never allow us out alone at night again."

"Relax, Cal," Dio soothed. "Just tell her the truth – that you took Dolores to a strip club. She'll never believe you and assume you went to a bar."

"God, Dio; I think you're right. That's exactly what she will think. How come you know all this?"

"I had a misspent youth and figuring out what people are likely to think seems to come naturally to me."

* * *

Early on Friday, the last full day of bachelorhood, Dio had four options for lunch.

He'd received a surprise invitation from real estate salesperson Miss Legs – ah, correction, Mrs Charlotte (call me Charlie) Gibbons.

"I know it's your wedding the day after tomorrow," she'd said softly.

"Oh, how did you know that?"

"Because Carra and you invited us, silly."

"Oh, so we wish to discuss something?"

"You could say that. Or then again, that might not be the reason."

"What other reason would there be?"

"I'm sure you will come up with something."

"Ah, Charlie. Right now I've got more than I can handle. So perhaps some other time, huh?""

"That's fine. Just give me a call. I'll watch you with pride tomorrow. Bye – oh, if I may say so, you've got the cutest butt."

"Bye Charlie," choked Dio.

He'd read in books about men caught in such a conversation having to wipe their brows. He almost needed a cold shower! The cheeky bitch, right on the eve of his wedding. She must have the morals of Cinderella's sisters.

He also turned down invitations to lunch out with Philip and Ronnie and finally Mike had suggested he might like to lunch late with Susie as Mike had to take Celina to get her nails done just after two and wait for her and then take her somewhere for a lovely lunch. Instead, Dio picked up a dozen cans of beer, a trestle table and four chairs, nine legs of barbecued chicken and a big container of salad and went to lunch as arranged two weeks earlier with Hackett and the boys.

The MG was coming along fine. The engine had been overhauled but not yet reinstalled because Alfie Morrow was waiting for some gearbox parts to arrive by airfreight from England along with other items including two replacement fog lamps and a luggage rack.

Good progress had been made.

"The ash body tub is finished and you can see that we've pinned the first steel panel to it," said Hackett, as he helped set up the trestle table for Dio's special thank you lunch.

"You won't know the old girl when you get back from your honeymoon," said Alfie. "The engine assembly will be back in, the wheels will be on and the chassis alignment all finished and probably the steering assembly will be back in as well.

"But we won't fire the engine until you're here – as it will be a great moment for you."

"Thanks Alfie," smiled Dio, thinking of that day and watching Alfie attack his third chicken leg.

"That idea is that each of us will have a celebratory test drive around the block and then Alfie will drop the motor out again and will run it in on the bench to clock up a few hours, allowing us to proceed with the body in peace," said Hackett.

"The upholsterer plans to do the red leather seats next week and has already done the other matching cabin leather work, taking the patterns off every piece we pulled out, which is why we did those removals so carefully."

Hackett added that tan colored canvas top and tonneau cover were already finished and we being held in storage.

"You guys are having a ball, aren't you?" Dio said, twirling his empty first bottle of beer in his hand, resolving not to drink another one.

"What I like about it is the precision of attempting to complete a restoration fully back to the factory-produced original with the factory optional extras," said Billy. "We have these various publications and still cock-ups are possible."

"Really?" responded Dio, with interested. Not knowing much about vehicle mechanics, he'd assumed that restoration for his experienced team would not be overly difficult.

"Yeah," said Billy. "Fortunately Hackett was in charge of research as he found notes from two restorers pointing out the grills were painted in the factory, not chromed, and this particular baby was produced when the rear of the headlights were painted, not chromed. Somewhere during its life this grill had been chromed and the headlight backs were also chromed."

"I also found wire-spoke wheels had been fitted by a previous owner," said Hackett, as you will remember and that's why we've gone back to the original fifteen inch pressed steel wheels."

"Yeah, you tracked down three in England, one in France and got the other from a parts dealer in South Africa – all probably from wrecks or failed restorations," snorted Alfie

"Oh yes – and that was a very expensive exercise because of freight costs," Billy added.

Dio weakened and grabbed another bottle of beer.

"Right, but it always was going to be an expensive project, even without having to pay for labor," said Dio.

"Labor?" chorused Billy and Alfie.

"Skilled professional labor and a lifetime of accumulated expertise," responded Dio.

"That's more like it," said Alfie, clinking his third bottle of beer against Billy's almost finished second.

"You mentioned a failed restoration," said Dio. "What's that?"

Hackett responded, indicating his depth of research. "Blokes – restorers are mainly blokes although women are often right into it with them – sometimes start a restoration then tail off and finally shove the car into the back of the garage or even outside under a tree where it will languish. A couple of wheels may be removed for a home-built car trailer and in one instance I read about the motor and gearbox and running gear went into a rebuilt midget racing car. Some restorers' marriages end, either in a divorce or death, and the uncompleted restoration is sold off dirt cheap, with perhaps a parts dealer being the purchaser. Then there are disaster-related endings such as fires, floods and probably even tornadoes and wars."