Music and a Wayward Elf

Caitlyn -- Three weeks before Christmas

Caitlyn turned the business card in her hand over nervously as she tried to psych herself up to make the call. This was always Jerome's purview. She winced. Jerome wasn't going to walk back through the door. Distraught, lost, depressed, and miserable would be the word cloud for her excruciating year. My family doesn't deserve a terrible Christmas because of him leaving.

Tapping digits into the phone, Cait had to calm her racing heart before the fear took over. Her anxiety seemed to manifest most prominently when she had to make a phone call to a stranger. She would still feel the same blast of unease if it was in person, but she could more readily push through it. Why don't they just have a website or work on texting?

On this iteration, Cat managed to type in the final digit. Usually, she would go through a round of that and hover over the call button before chickening out for another five minutes. Still, if she didn't do this today, there wouldn't be enough time before Christmas for the business to do their magic. She pressed the call button and leaned back in her chair. Her clock announced that it had been nineteen minutes since she had started trying to make herself call at one pm. Using a set of earbuds instead of holding the handset to her ear calmed her a little, yet she could still hear her heart driving like a drum.

"Wayward Elves. This is Tinsel. How can we help you make Christmas perfect?" A chipper male voice announced after just a single ring. His prompt answer on the phone didn't allow her thoughts to spiral for long.

"How does this work?" Caitlyn could be accused of being frank to the point of being rude, yet another trigger for her anxiety.

"We can't have the near omniscience of our boss, so if you're looking for someone to help you find the perfect gifts for your friends and family, we need to start with a survey." The man's practiced clarity left Cait little doubt that he gave the speech hundreds of times a day.

"Don't you just need to know about who I need to buy gifts for?" Cat could feel a derisive tone in her voice. She hated when she did that and admonished herself silently.

"We need to be a little more intrusive than that, ma'am. The survey won't just be about the people you want to purchase gifts for, but also who's giving the presents. Anyone can buy things off a list, but we want to think about both the giver and the recipient." The man's attitude remained upbeat. The sweetness in his tone seemed genuine and not saccharine or cloying.

Logically, what he said had its merit. Cait wanted to be the fun aunt again but didn't know how to do that anymore. "Okay," She took a second to breathe and keep herself from panicking. "I'm not too late, am I?"

"No, ma'am. Not at all. We're available up until two days before Christmas. Earlier in the season, we would hand deliver our survey, but we need to move quickly. Can I get a good email address to get the process started?"

Gia -- Two days later

"Hey, new elf!" Holly, the veteran gift buyer who had trained Gia, greeted her in the locker room. The woman may have been younger than Gia, but she had far more experience in the way of the elves. Holly waved Gia over with a smile. She was one of the few women working for Wayward Elves that didn't need to use a pseudonym to get a Christmas-inspired moniker.

"What do you need?" Gia had just stepped in the door and hadn't even put on her elf regalia yet.

Even if she had gotten good at putting on a brave face and going through the motions, Gia's holiday spirit had died years ago. She was good at her second job, but there was an empty spot in her soul where her love for the winter holidays used to thrive. Gia still celebrated Christmas with her friends, but it was half-hearted at the best of times.

"We got a big new client that I need you on."

"Okay, when and where?"

"The Creative's Fuel Stop, in two hours." That place was a popular coffee house clear across town.

"I better get dressed." Gia groaned and shook her head. She didn't relish the thought of traipsing through the subway in her elf costume; she liked the work but wasn't a big fan of the uniform. "Is there something special about this one?"

"Yeah, there are a couple of unique challenges with this woman. I would go, but I need to finish the McPherson account tonight. We can't very well anger our best client."

"A woman?" Gia hung her jacket in the locker. She had been expecting to get dressed and help with the walk-ins tonight. The service had a storefront that operated only from November first to Christmas Eve. It wasn't about buying things for people; the internet could serve that purpose. Their job was to help gift-givers figure out what a perfect present would be that isn't a gift card.

"A young woman at that," Holly smirked. "No trying to find a date on the clock."

"You said there were a couple of challenges." Gia ignored the smirk and implication. Everyone knew her preferences.

"One of them is confirmed by the survey, and the other is a feeling that Tinsel had."

"You're still not explaining yourself, Holly." Gia rolled her eyes as she got her elf getup out of the locker. She could really do without the bell sewn to the curled toe of the shoes.

"I guess the first part is good and bad news. She's got a lot of nieces and nephews to buy for, and we only have a bit to get it done." Holly made it sound challenging, but a big commission would go a long way toward her goal.

"Okay, that's not bad. I'm good at gifts for kids."

"Yeah, you are!" Holly bounced in her shoes, causing the bells on her outfit to jingle with precision. Holly was a couple of years younger than Gia but had been doing this job since she was a junior in high school, making her far more experienced. It was her eighth year playing an elf.

"What's the other thing?"

"Well, Tinsel said she sometimes sounded nervous over the phone at moments and almost rude at others. I think she's going to be a challenge."

"Is that all?" Tinsel could be overly dramatic.

"Caitlyn self-reported having anxiety issues on the survey." Holly continued.

Gia shrugged, the anxiety she could deal with. "Where's the profile? I want to get a head start on the subway."

Caitlyn -- Three days after calling Wayward Elves

It had taken too long to decide what to wear to go to the same coffee shop Cait went to every day. Typically, it was where she forced herself to take a lunch break. The more she closed herself off from the world, the greater her anxiety would ratchet up the next time she had to go to a meeting or even a family event if it had been long enough. Besides family events, this café and her therapist were the only regular stops outside her apartment or studio.

She still had a half hour before an elf would arrive to do a personal interview and help her get her gift-buying done. Putting off her shopping had been another source of anxiety; getting it done would relieve one stressor. Caitlyn loved being an aunt, and when she got around the munchkins, she needn't worry about who she was with them.

Cait was the youngest of seven kids and four years younger than her closest brother. She was a late surprise for her family. Her siblings had been nearly as prolific as her parents blessing her with sixteen nieces and nephews. A seventeenth was on the way early in the spring.

Every now and then, Cat would look up from her computer and glance at the door waiting for an elf to appear. There was a red mirror-finished Christmas ornament in front of her laptop. It was the agreed-upon signal for the gift buyer to find her. A green hair tie kept the spherical decoration from rolling onto the floor.

A pair of noise-canceling earbuds weren't nearly as accurate as the studio monitors she had back home, but she was just trying to decide between a couple of tracks for a proposal. The electric guitars work so much better for this. Cat pulled back up the storyboards, careful that her laptop wasn't being read over her shoulder. But what do they expect from me? This would be a huge swing.

Looking at the elegant characters engaged in a battle with mythical fantasy creatures, Cait could close her eyes and see them in a fluid motion. The beats of percussion as they blocked claw and tooth with improbably sized weapons and shields led to creating a pair of scores. Her gift was synesthesia, or at least that is what she called it, though hers seemed to be an inverse of the typical descriptions. Most accounts of the phenomenon saw colors or shapes when hearing music. For Cait, imagining the characters' actions led her to the perfect composition. She saw her world in music when she wasn't so concerned about what terrible thing might happen to her.

Even people's personalities played in her mind as musical styles or impressions in her brain. Jerome, her ex-husband, had been a sweeping orchestral swell, at least he was before he left. Where Cait used to feel like a multilayered concerto, since the divorce, she felt more like a funeral dirge. She had thought their lives and music blended well together, but her anxiety had swelled in the last two years. This added discordant notes that broke the piece apart.

A petite woman stole her attention as she walked into the coffee house. She was undeniably pretty with her bright red lips that looked like metal flake paint. A gigantic toothy smile was the perfect accessory to her outfit. Dirty blonde hair leaked out below a furry red Santa hat that was capped by a poof of red, green, and white yarn. A tight green dress had sleeves that seemed too short for the well-below-freezing temperatures, and an abundance of cleavage was ineffectively obscured by a fabric poinsettia.

Even if the lass was not dressed like an elf, she would have caught Cait's attention. It was just the type of pixie that Caitlyn gravitated to before Jerome. Back in college, she had discovered that she was bi-sexual; her first real love had been a fantastic woman named Michelle. Her anxiety had reared its ugly head when Michelle was supposed to come home and meet the family for Christmas. All Cait could imagine was her conservative family shunning her when they discovered she loved a woman. It wasn't an actual panic attack that caused the breakup, those wouldn't pop up until later, but it was enough to force Michelle away.

The start of a trend. Cat hid a shiver attempting to precipitate a regret spiral as she took her earbuds out and waved the woman over.

"You must be Caitlyn!" Her voice sounded like a female falsetto, an octave too high to fit the woman. The elf skipped over with a bright smile. Cait wasn't sure if the newcomer's legs were covered with striped socks or tights, but they looked like candy canes as they extended on long legs for the short woman from beneath a flared green skirt. The elf's tall heels gave her a touch of extra height and ended in curled green toes with silver bells at the end.

"Yes, good! I took a chance that you were the elf I was looking for." Cait giggled to mask her nervous energy. This elf was a jaunty Christmas song; she didn't think it would mix with her downbeat but oddly staccato chords. "And you are?"

"Miss Elle Towe. An AWOL elf that is still doing her best to help the resident Santas complete their Christmas lists." The woman had stunning hazel eyes that had a mischievous glint in them even as she was affecting her best helpful elf personality.

"I'm going to assume that's a stage name." Cait smiled despite her accelerated heart.

"Yes, ma'am. Shall we get started?"

Gia -- Almost a half hour later

Holly's words about not picking up girls at her job rang in Gia's ears. She would do whatever was possible to keep her thoughts from it, like continuing to employ her elf voice even if it was starting to hurt a little.

Caitlyn was a stunning beauty; shiny brunette hair was coiffed in lazy curls as it spilled over her shoulders. Her lips had a pink tint to them, subtle but unmistakable. The way that the woman had checked her out as she walked in the door, Gia felt that Cait had at least a passing interest in her.

The gorgeous woman was wearing a dark leather jacket over a red dress. Her matching scarf and gloves sat beside a laptop covered in musical notes and anime characters. Gia's favorite femme fatale turned heroine from an indie game that never left Gia's hard drive, even when she needed to make room, peeked out of the patchwork. Crap, she likes video games, Isekai, Mecha, and Shonen. I'm in trouble.

Within a few minutes, they had taken over the back corner booth. Gia developed a portfolio of gift ideas in the last month, mostly from local retailers. Just reading through the sixteen nieces and nephews her client was planning to buy presents for had her mind swimming through ideas. This job was only supposed to help her make money to put a reasonable down payment for a car. Her day job's hectic schedule and apartment's location didn't play well with the available mass transit options. That and she had a wanderlust to satisfy during her long vacations each summer.

"Does that voice hurt?" Caitlyn almost whispered between looking at gifts for her nephew about an hour into the discussion. It was as if it had snuck out of her thoughts as she said it, and her client blushed a bright pink.

"A little," Gia whispered back with a shrug. She tried to cut through the little bursts of blatant glimpses of anxiety from the client.

"Drop it around me, if you don't mind. Can I get you tea or something?" Caitlyn stood for the first time. She was blunt but not purposefully rude, as Tinsel had surmised.

Cait stood almost a half-foot taller than Gia on long legs. The woman would fill more of a role of a fantasy elf, tall and thin, than the Christmas varietal that fit Gia. She had a shapely form that caught Gia's attention no matter how she tried to stick to her duties. A pair of extraordinary blue-green eyes had Gia's heart pattering. Stupid Holly having to put ideas in my head.

"That would be nice, actually. Do you want something?" Gia dropped the elfin voice.

"I figure if we're going to tie up a booth all night, we should support the place." A brief smile flashed over the brunette's features. "A quick break wouldn't be so bad, and they have some great sugar cookies."

"Do they? I don't get over to this side of town often."

"This place is awesome. It took a while, but it's one of my safe places. Come on, drinks and cookies are my treats." Cait motioned for her to follow.

"You don't have to but thank you, I skipped dinner. I had a good lunch and had to pick between it and yoga before my second job." Gia felt like she was talking too fast, so she slowed herself with a breath. "What are safe places?"

"We can't have you skipping meals too often." This fantastic woman gave her a wink and a smirk. "I assume you read my entire survey."

"Yeah."

"So, I always fight it, but not so much at my safe places. Here in the city, that's my apartment, recording studio, and this coffee shop." Cait was definitely not showing any signs of rudeness that Tinsel had warned Holly about. She guided the pair to the front counter.

"Hey, Cait. Your usual?" An older, tall blonde woman in a flour-covered maroon apron asked. Christmas lights twinkled on a festive necklace around her neck.

"Add a couple sugar cookies to it and..." Caitlyn pointed to Gia.

"A decaf latte, please."

"Put the whole thing on my card Rosie."

"Sure thing, sugar."

"You have a studio? Are you a musician or an artist?" Gia questioned as they slid back into the booth. Her day job had her working with digital design for a marketing firm, but she loved illustration and dabbled in painting.

"I'm a composer, actually."

"That's awesome! Do you work in the theatre district?" Their city wouldn't compete with New York's Broadway, but it was where several of Gia's artsy college classmates had ended up starting their careers.

"I did help arrange one play, but that was atypical for me, and it was before my anxiety turned me into a recluse." Caitlyn fiddled nervously with a diamond stud earring.

"What do you do now?" Gia asked as the server set down their orders.

"I spent several years composing for different video games. Indie titles, mostly. I'm trying to break into animation now, though." Cait blushed a deeper red. It was an adorable affectation.

"Wait... You didn't do the music for A Fatal Heroine, did you?" Gia sat up, barely able to contain her excitement.

"Yes, ma'am. That was me." Her client sat up a little straighter.

"No way! You're Caitlyn Quay!" Gia took a deep breath to keep from fangirling out on her client. Caitlyn's work won several awards a couple years ago. It was a constant companion in the instrumental playlist that Gia used to concentrate at her day job.

"That's me." Caitlyn shrugged and blushed.

Gia felt compelled to pull out her phone and show it off to her client so she knew Gia wasn't bullshitting her. "I listen to that all the time on my work playlist." She spun the phone around to show off the music app.

"Gia's music to work by." Caitlyn smiled as if she had sleuthed out a secret. "I had a feeling that Miss Elle Towe wasn't your real name."

"Shit, you caught me. I'm Giovanna, but no one has used my full name since my grandmother passed. It's Gia, please."

Caitlyn -- An hour later

How this sprite of a woman had crumbled Cait's well-constructed defenses was a marvel. The younger woman knew her stuff so well. Handcrafted toys would constitute most of the things Gia had helped her decide upon. Her dazzling hazel eyes seemed to shift like a chameleon depending on where they were in the coffee shop. By the well-lit counter, her eyes looked to be emerald green. They turned to an almost amber color in the darker corner when they were surrounded by rich wood.

"Okay, I think that's sixteen," Gia announced as she picked up the last corner of her sugar cookie and popped it into her mouth.

"You had some fantastic suggestions, Gia. Thank you." There was a touch of sadness in her voice. She was enjoying the company of a stranger for the first time since Jerome left. Nine months of mourning is long enough.

"Did you need my help shopping too? I think it's too late to order most of these things online." Gia closed her binder.

"If anything is sold out, I need some more suggestions." Caitlyn shrugged as nonchalantly as she could. Another opportunity to hang out with Gia would be fantastic. "Having someone with me would help my anxiety, but do you have to wear the elf outfit?"

"You don't like my dress?" The elf pouted.

"No, it's gorgeous on you, but I would rather not call more attention to myself out shopping. I mean, you're probably already catching everyone's attention anyway because you're so cute." Plant a light seed in Gia's mind. Cait's thoughts suggested.

"Not a problem, Cait." Gia's smile got bigger. Maybe the woman was feeling the same things she was. "Why did you decide to use our service this year?"

"My ex-husband was the one to do all the present buying the last half-decade. Part of my anxiety makes it hard for me to decide; I needed a sounding board to help me out. You're good at this, Gia." Cait had juggled gift ideas for a month without success. She even went so far as ordering a couple things before a flare of apprehension would have her cancel the order.

"You're divorced too?" Gia looked surprised.

"Yeah, I guess I had one panic attack too many. We were supposed to drive upstate to his best friend's wedding on the weekend when it struck, and that was all he could take." Caitlyn crossed her arms and leaned back nonverbally, cutting off further questioning about her status. That emotional wound was still fresh.