All Comments on 'My Adoptive Family are Succubae Ch. 02'

Please, spellcheck, edit... Too many words are wrong. "Sweaty" instead of "sweety", "organism" instead of "orgasm"...

On the contents, maybe have a longer "conversion". He starts going against his core values in just a couple or paragraphs.

The story was incredible - - - the editing was not. Sorry - I had to keep going back and correcting the wrong words in my brain. Overall a high score for the story and a low score for the editing.

Great story, but two tips to improve besides getting an editor. Write your story and then leave it alone for a few days. After that read it slowly, you will notice a lot of the spelling and grammar mistakes you made. My other tip is to use a service like grammerly.

Congratulations on a job well done

Great story, a lot of wrong words that I needed to work out.

I think that there is space here for another chapter as John comes to terms with what he can do and even perhaps become an incubus.

"even sleeping with all those boys, and not caring if you knew, all that was just me trying to say...I love you"

... The fecking what?

I do believe that's the most idiotic line I've read to date. Even though the background is 100% sociopathic manipulation on their part in some weird backwards way the story made sense but you totally lost with that trashy lunacy.

Great start, but get an editor

Needs some SERIOUS proofreading. You use the outright wrong word, skip over words, or just inject random ones that don't belong CONSTANTLY.

I liked the idea, but the execution leaves me wanting to be executed to end my suffering.

I enjoyed the story despite the grammatical and spelling errors. You should pull the story or reload it with the fixes done. Some of them hit at times like throwing out a boat anchor from a bicycle.

I liked your story but you really need to work on editing. What I'd suggest is purchase the text reader software called Text Aloud v. 4.0.67, best on the Market. Listen to your words and you'll pick up on mistakes, even more so if you progress with English Literature. If your going to continue to present your stories in English, you might want to become more proficient. Break you bad habit of using the dot dot dot's for a pause and let the reader do that. If your good enough the reader will know the pause. Rule of thumb, if you can use two words then use two, like dickhead is "TWO" words and not one. You don't need commas when using the words and, but, or etc, etc,,,. Hope that helps!

Not going to lie, came to fap left with some feels. 10/10 not just smut.

Really enjoyed it, but please pay more attention to editing. I hope to see more of the story soon. I really love where this is going.

The story was fantastic, but for the first time I had to give only 4 ****. The editing and spelling were so bad as to materially detract from what was otherwise a great read. My spelling and typing are bad, but this was too much even for me. Get an editor, there's talent in there. Just make it readable.

So bad. So close to being interesting.