All Comments on 'My Brother Broke My Brain Pt. 01'

Fantastic, more please. Love how the parents are accepting so far.

Great story line. Please do us one favor and read thru a second time on the following parts and I am sure you will see the typo mistakes you made. Look forward to the next part.

I am not the grammar police. But the missing punctuation made it too hard to read, for me. I stopped about 4 paragraphs in.

You need an editor in a bad way!

Thank you I'm hoping to have part 2 done next week. Also pardon some minor spelling errors you think you get them all and suddenly there's more never fails lololol

Too fast on the sex and not enough story, but continue please..edit a bit more carefully. There are text problems the detract from the action....

This was awful.

Very poorly written. So many typos and grammatical errors made it hard to read.

Spellcheck. Grammar. Learn what those are.

Clean up the spelling and grammatical errors before part two.

Story was so-so. Please get an editor. So many spelling, grammatical and punctuation errors. Mistakes makes it harder to read and to fully understand what you're trying to say sometimes.

Lastly, if chapter 2 has the mom and dad getting involved with them, the 3* I gave you will become 1*

Yeah I can only imagine daddy wants to daughter and mommy wants to son.... It would be hot if the daddy dived right in and right there in the living room... Given her a second dumping lol.... And then mommy going down on the son.. Very hot keep going.....

Really well written Thanks 5/5

So very beautiful 😍

"I saw you walking out of the shower mark and I need your cock mark don't make me beg don't lecture me just go with it," i pleaded."

-

What is wrong with your "shift" keys on your keyboard? Almost every single use of Mark's name is in lower case throughout the entire story. There's multiple cases of the pronoun "I" being in lower case as well. I specifically chose to quote the above example because it demonstrated BOTH errors. Your punctuation is horrible as well. Again using this example, I'm struggling to understand what you're really doing here. I have to assume that if it were to be corrected that it might possibly read something like this:

"I saw you walking out of the shower Mark and I need your cock. Mark, don't make me beg! Don’t lecture me, just go with it," I pleaded."

-

I don't think that you need an editor so much as you just need a good proofreader. Try to clean up the run-on sentences and punctuation errors before you upload the next chapter. I'm making a note to myself to avoid the rest of the story. From the ending, it looks like you're heading into the family orgy where everyone fucks everyone else. Not my fetish by a long shot. 1/5

could have been a solid 4 stars except for all the mistakes..... cue EDITING

Nice story. But does need grammar work, edited, proof read.

Seems most forgot Proof Read !

Fun story and well timed. Length, of the story, was also ideal.

You display great potential in this genre, please continue.

I loved it!! More, please!!

I'm only going to say this once. This is a rookie story. Also I have tried reaching out to editors before and it's very difficult. And stop over reacting to less than 5 spelling errors. It was meant to be a short story with the longer parts on the way.

Enough about the editing! I will remind all of you that all our works are edited by literotica.com before publishing as well I will use a different proof reader. I get the message

Dreadful writing and little credibility. I don't think you're old enough to be here, please don't continue this story as you are just embarrassing yourself.

No stars. Grammar is something you need to work on, as is punctuation. The word 'I' is always capitalized. In addition this story moved too fast and was hard to read. Take my advice before releasing your next chapter. Without improvement I won't waste my time with it.

All the people commenting on the editing seem to have missed the point. If you want polished, high-gloss literature, go read the New Yorker. This story aims at our loins and, in my opinion, works. Especially the final twist, where the characters face the moment we all fear but also secretly hope for. This isn't pristine, but I definitely want to keep reading.

To the people who are defending me thank you! Part II is being checked by literotica.com and should be up shortly and I used a different proofreading system that should silence my critics.

Lastly to the anonymous user who accused me of being under ages reach out to be privately and ill show you my i.d. I'm alot older than you think. Try growing up and commenting with your username then we'll see who should or shouldn't be here.

Robert Frost, Emily Dickens, hell even Edgar Allan Poe had grammar and spelling errors. Shit, try Geoffrey Chaucer and his paragraph-long sentences. If you want perfect, write your own shit and pass out the ‘*’ like candy to little girls in school skirts. 4* for your first submission only due to the fast moves on him. Bring on more, please! BTW, Masters in Education English Literature and I teach High School Sophomores.

If you don't want to hear about spelling & grammar, stop writing like a second grader. I'd like to see you improve, so I shall continue to make comments. Now, get back out there and try again for crying out loud.

Very hot! Please continue.

You need to search this site before posting stories, the general premise and title are copies of a story published just in the last month. Not cool.

What really sucks when you post under "Anonymous" I can't further reach out to ask for a follow-up.

It has been brought to my attention that either someone is trying to copy my stories or that very similar stories are appearing.

I copy no ones work. And if you suspect someone is copying me please report it.

Thanks for your support I just want to say I have been in a long editing process for Part III it's being edited for the third time because of length. But the final part is hopefully going to post any day. It's a lot. read filled with revelations and alot of characters growth.

Also I want all my readers to know I use ms word editor that gives the work a score and I never turn in a piece that doesn't have 96% or higher. I have noticed the copy and paste feature is tricky it's not pasting over everything so at least I noticed.

Part III The Finale Will Be Posted Tommorow! It's the longest story in the series filled with romance insectious passion and a few twists and turns. Come back tomorrow to read part III