My First Sin Ep. 01

Episode 1: My First Sin

The hot shower felt like a pleasant counter point the cold shrill currents that have been passing through my body, stemming from angst, desperation, dilemma and of course perpetual sexual frustration.

In six months of our marriage, never once have I not felt like worms wiggling on my body when he touches me. Apart from being inadequate in romance, grumpy in demeanor, orthodox in thoughts, and unsuccessful in his career,

he has self convinced himself of his flawless character and worst of all is very secure of his manhood, like every Indian husband who has lucked out in an arranged marriage would be.

I turned the knob to hotter hoping that at the end of the shower my sorrow and pathetic fate will wash away as well. It isn't new for me to go to bed high and dry, but yesterday night took a toll on me.

Trying to break the habit, and give this marriage a fair chance, I had tried sooo very hard for yesterday evening. I wore the black lingerie which Radhika, my bestie from college has got for me from Mumbai and decorated the house with

intimate lights and aromatic candles. I wore the same black silk saree, that I've caught him ogling at, when my sister wore it at our wedding with an ample serving of cleavage. To top this all up, I bought Madurai Jasmine flower

which any warm blooded Tamil man can't resist and decorated my medium length black hair with it.

Enter Gautham-

He comes home at 11 PM, smelling like tobacco, I was half asleep but full horny, so I escort him to our room, thinking positively that him showing up late is a blessing in disguise, since his old parents with whom we live would

be fast asleep when our passions burn the midnight oil. Skipping the details, 12:15 AM as if on cue, he yells out loud "Ouch, my ankle!" sweating like a Pig, this time I don't even feel the need to get up from our bed. He pulls

this charade as an excuse when he can't function, but then takes my sisters saree which is now on the floor and wipes his fat belly and face with it.

Then he goes out to rant for 15 mins about how he should have married a doctor so that she can treat his ankle rather than me. I close my eyes so tightly and pray that my parents who spent all of their savings on his dowry and a grand wedding rather than my Med school get to listen to his ranting and lose their sleep for doing this to me.

My day dream is ruined by the sudden gush of cold water from our shower, this happens often in cheap apartments like the one's we live in. I close the shower, take my towel and wipe my body dry, then take another towel which he must have used in the morning to wipe my hair dry and wrap it around my head.

The house seems quiet today!

My in-laws visit the temple on Sundays, so probably that's why, I answer myself and walk out of the restroom towards our bedroom, when I thought a nice cup of tea would help up my spirits and walk towards the kitchen adjoining our living room and start the kettle, when I see some left over tea which my mother-in-law must have spared. Then I take my phone which is dead from the kitchen and I walk to the living room purposefully ignoring Gautham sitting on a sofa checking me out and charge my phone in the power outlet near our TV. I could feel his gaze on my body from behind when I bent down in my pink turkey towel to plug-in the phone, when an cute evil thought occured to me, that I tease me as a token to revenge for last night or rather last 6 months.

So, I slowly remove my head towel and flex my neck and back, I can slightly see the his eyes freeze onto me on the vague TV screen reflection and then I put my left leg on the couch and bend over as though pretending to wipe my legs so as to make the cut at the hem of my wet towel more prominent. As a final touch I wanted to run my fingers over my moist hair and slowly turn my face in a right angle, to give him a side glaze and smirk at his pathetic hard on, before I leave to our bedroom to a day full of TV Soaps and phone gossips when I get the shock of my LIFE.

"Who the fuck are you, and what are you doing in my living room?"

I roar at the middle aged man with shortly cut, salt and pepper hair wearing polo shirts and chinos.

"Madam, I can explain" he begins, when I instinctively grab the used head-towel and cover my top as a second layer pallu(google saree pallu).

He stands up erect from the sofa when I notice his hammer also erect. Yet, the only thing on my mind was to get some help, so I reach for my phone now slightly charged and start calling Gautham.

The stranger, now out of his stoic startled self, begins desperately to explain himself, his words come out as counter points to the phone ring.

"I'm Kumar, I'm Gautham's Boss and owner of his company".

"He'd ask to come look over the end year Income Tax documents before filing tomorrow, when he learnt that he left them at our office, so he went back to get them, while I was waiting"

"I didn't mean to scare you or stare, but I got carried away, I'm so sorry!!"

His eyes directly confronting mine, he folds his hands together as though in a Hindu prayer and asks me to not make a huge fuzz of this!

Kumar now, clearly petrified, closes his eyes, with both his hands as a gesture of guilt and humiliation, when Gautham answers the phone.

"Hello?"

"Sorry Anju, I'm at the office gathering some files, Mr. Kumar is in our house if you had already noticed, I'll try to come home quickly!"

My First Sin:

"Don't worry Gautham, take your time, I'll entertain Mr. Kumar, and please pick up the groceries while on your way back, Mr. Kumar agreed to stay for Lunch!"

Mr. Kumar's Rolex and Ring clad hands slowly begin to descend from his face which is now lit with clarity of my intentions. Our eyes fixate on each other and my towel drops to the carpet.