All Comments on 'My First Time'

Your disclaimer that you are not a writer is definitely accurate. You have verb tense shifts within the same sentence. Some words appear to be missing. The male character is an insensitive brute. The girl surrenders to him too easily. I think you have potential, so I will give you three stars. Try working with an editor to improve your skills.

Work of fiction?

Sounds or reads like there could be a lot of truth there, unfortunately.

Keep writing!

I think this was very good, especially since this was your very first attempt. It is also convincing that the story is about your first experience. Please keep on writing -- you are showing real promise as a writer. I'd suggest that you should consider having a friend help proof-read and discuss with you before posting next time, as there were a few minor slips in grammar.

Do not be discouraged! My guess is English is not your first language, so ask an editor for help. The story could have had a little more build up and I feel sorry for her. But don't stop writing!

Keep trying, it gets easier, and harder, and easier.

The story is fine, if basic. Yes, it happens that way. In fact, one of the amazing things about sex is that it happens practically every way. A proof-reader could help avoid the obvious grammatical errors, but to improve writing style, try to be more descriptive, and give your characters more fully explained motivations. For example, what caused her to simply go along with him?

Keep writing. It's the best way to improve.

Thank you all for the feedback. I will try and write better stories. This story is purely fictional and a product of my imagination. Nothing in it relates to me or someone I know.

Not bad! It seems to me that you're a writer if you're writing, no? I look forward to reading more!