My Game of two Halves Ch. 02

After leaving the army Mary initially worked with victims of abuse. The climate wars stuttered along and there were issues of climate refugees coming to New Zealand. Australia was becoming virtually uninhabitable in parts and the arrival of refugees from other conflicts to Australia was beginning to destabilize the country with low level strife occurring.

New Zealand was receiving some refugees from Australia and elsewhere. Many of them were suffering the effects of trauma. Mary found herself heading a non-governmental organization dedicated to their care and treatment. Through this organization, her military background had her drawn into Civil Defense as part of a forward planning team

Meanwhile through Mary's father, I had become part of a Government commission looking at changes in design and urban development responding to climate change. Mary became a recognized expert in handling people suffering from mental trauma from conflict and was seconded to the Prime Ministers department as an advisor. Our paths would occasionally cross at parliament and I once found myself sitting across from her at a hearing.

Mary joined the Prime Minister's office when there had been an upswing in arrivals of refugees and it had become a public issue. Many were starting to come from the USA where on-going internal strife called the 'Confederate Resurrection' was coming to a head. It had never quite reached civil war but the would-be revolutionaries were breaking up and many seeking refuge overseas.

It was then that life changed for us. Her hours became long and there was constant travelling. I was spending my time coaching sport, attending PTA meetings and watching plays while Mary was god knows where. We had to move to the capital city, Wellington and I had linked up with an old colleague, Pania Tamatea in a small practice to give myself more flexibility. My best man James joined the practice to fill in for me.

Things came to a head when Mary accompanied the Prime Minister to London and returned back through Washington. She returned nervous and agitated. The first night she awoke gasping, rushed out of bed and vomited in the bathroom. Back in bed she was sweating profusely. She later said she had an attack of sleep apnea or something. She thought she was being strangled and it triggered her PTSD.

The anxiety carried on for a week. Mary was a mess. There had to be a change as it was affecting her health and our marriage and Mary took sick leave then resigned from the position.

In this period Mary had relapsed into her old military ways in not talking about what she was doing. I complained about this but said security had to be tight and she could not indulge in pillow talk. No matter that she was probably right, I felt resentful and began to distrust her. Her arrival back from overseas particularly alarmed me but she obstinately refuse to even hint at what had obviously troubled her; passing it off as being triggered by jet lag and the pressure of work.

Shortly after this I was part of a team reporting to a cabinet meeting on some transitional housing for refugees. When the meeting broke up I was busily re-stuffing my brief case when the Minister who held the Defense portfolio sidled up to me. I knew him quite well so it was not strange but he began with some curious bonhomie that politicians do when they have some agenda they want to pursue. This led into him asking about Mary.

"And how are the family and that gorgeous wife of yours, Mary?"

"They're all good but things got on top of Mary. She's is kicking her heels around now she resigned from the PMs Department."

"Ah yes, curious that, I wondered, so soon after her visit to the states."

"Well it was really a visit to the UK, I thought the States visit was more a curtesy call as they passed though."

"Oh I think it was more than that. You know that the PM did not stop there herself."

"Oh I thought she did. Were they on separate planes?"

"I take it then your wife has not said much about that trip?"

"I hardly see her at all these days."

"So you do not know then why she met with Brigadier Whitmore and the leader of the opposition while in Washington?"

"Whitmore! Why would she meet him there?"

The Minister caught the anger in my voice; "I take it you don't like Whitmore."

" ..Can't stand the man."

"Feelings mutual but he has been our Defence attaché in Washington. We were wondering too, why she should have met him and the leader of the opposition; even more curious that she should resign so soon after."

There was a silence as I tried to digest all this.

Finally the Minister indicated he had to leave.

"Just one last question, whose side are you and Mary on?"

The question puzzled me; "Is that a rhetorical question or do you expect an answer?"

The Minister shrugged and departed.

The conversation fair pissed me off. I had no idea what he was talking about and the ghost of villains past was rearing his head.

I tried ringing Mary but it went to voicemail. With a sigh I asked her to ring me.

When I got home she was not there but Helen was, inexplicably looking after the kids.

"Hi Helen, what's going on? Where's Mary?"

"Oh a position has materialized as Director General of Civil Defense, Georgia has been in front of some kind of interviewing panel since 1000 hours. They were going to socialize tonight so she may be late. They will want to interview you as well so be on your best behaviour."

"Oh, I guess that should be good then. I have to say things seem to be moving at a pace and I find myself bogged at home most of the time making sure the kids are OK. I have no idea what's going on."

I thought of the Minister's revelation about Mary in Washington but I was wary of breaking the confidence of the Minister.

"God I hate this need for secrecy all the time. I thought we had left that with the Army."

Helen lowered her voice as though she was afraid of waking the kids up; "Listen I probably know a little more than you about what going on and I am sorry I cannot divulge it but just trust Mary. She knows what she is doing. I am sure she hates keeping stuff from you but loose lips..."

"Yeah I know,... sinks ships."

"She loves you intensely but she is duty bound."

I never got to ask Mary about the Washington episode as that very night Vaughan died. Georgia rang in a hysterical state. He had overdosed on smack, heroine. She was sure it was suicide. Helen said she would hang on with the kids as I rushed around to comfort Georgia.

Mary did join me later at Georgia's. She was obviously weary following the day. Our focus was Georgia so we did not discuss any other issues. It was late when we went to bed. I don't know why we bothered at all. We were both up early rushing with early commitments and I did not see Mary for two weeks after that.

For two weeks I looked after Georgia through the autopsy and helped with the funeral. I tried to hunt down Claudine but failed. The funeral was a short dour affair. Our friends and colleagues turned up. Helen and a couple from the army turned up in support. But Mary was not there. She was off somewhere getting the grips with her new portfolio. I did finally get interviewed; I guess I passed with flying colours, the dutiful husband who will not be an embarrassment and not ask awkward questions.

Things did get a little better; Mary did have long hours but they were regular and had some flexibility' enabling her to rejoin family activity. The period however left some scars on our marriage.

It was a while after the funeral when Georgia rang me and invited me around to thank me for my help with the funeral. It was not a talk fest; we sat with our wine in meditation a lot of the time.

I looked at Georgia; she looked remarkably calm and composed. There was even some amusement in her eyes as she glanced back at me.

"Just what is it that you find so funny about me", as she began breaking into a grin.

"Oh you, I think you look how I should be feeling."

"Oh and what should you be feeling?"

"It's just that I am not really grieving. It seems more like a release. I am relieved of the constant headache of having to deal with Vaughan and I can put the whole business with Claudine behind me."

"Claudine, did not come to the funeral?"

"No, it would have been too painful for her. She did send a card; it arrived a couple of weeks late."

"Why are you looking so morose? I wouldn't have thought Vaughan would affect you like that. Are you grieving?"

"Yes, but for my marriage than anything."

"OOO something rotten in the state of bliss; anything you want to talk about."

"Well apart from the desert of intimacy, she so absorbed in her career we seemed have ceased as a family."

"I thought she could now spend more time with you and the children."

"She is but it is not the same. She seems so damn distracted all the time." I felt myself raising my voice; "and the biggest thing of all is the goddamn secrecy about everything. I have no idea what's going on and where our future is to go. There is just no joy in the family anymore."

Georgia putdown her wine and put her hand on mind which had been banging the table.

"Hey, now that she has her new job maybe, it's going to take a while to adjust. Plan a get-a-way, plan anything. Put in a spa pool or something; get stuff happening."

I looked into Georgia's brown eyes, I began to realize how much Georgia had changed. Staring back at me was a calm maturity that was not evident in the Georgia of old. She seemed confident and focused. Tonight it was me she was treating with compassion. I felt the urge to kiss her; I suspect she did too as she suddenly reddened and looked aside, as though she was going to shed a tear.

I broke the silence; "hey, do you remember we promised a reward when you hit the targets we set after your arrival back from wilderness?"

"Yeah, but I didn't think you were serious."

"Well we were. Here is the deal. It has to be something personal that will boost yourself esteem or ego , something to make you feel real good; money no object!"

"Money no object?"

"Money no object, I replied"

"A lamborghini!"

"Within reason."

She thought for a second then hesitantly began her reply, "You know, I would just love to get rid of these augmented, tits they are driving me mad."

"You want little tits again."

"I would love little tits."

"What's the matter doesn't Andrew like your humungous floppers." Andrew was her current beau.

"You bastard. No he hasn't said anything but I don't think any guys like them; do they?"

"Well I must say they weren't your best feature. They don't feel that great but they made you happy and that was good enough for me."

"Anyhoo, I am past that now."

"Well, your wish is my command."

"Wouldn't this annoy, Mary? It's a lot of money and I shouldn't think she would have that in mind."

"Don't worry about Mary, I have ways of making her think it was her idea. You will get brand knew pointy little titties. You always had the best nipples"

Georgia chuckled then; "by the way I was looking at the news on line yesterday and there was a picture of Mary."

"Really, what was it all about?"

"It was an announcement attached to her job. She was standing with an army bloke, Brigadier someone?"

"Whitmore!" My Heart turned to lead.

,

Just us nights

Rigidity vanished into the void of her interior

Ambient tectonic

Lubricated passage

Involuntary spasms pulse

Annoying self doubt deprecating

Passage slide hormonal aroma pulsing