My Heart Can't Tell You 'No' Ch. 01

The fall semester was quickly winding down. We spent some time together, both in a social sense, and an intimate sense. But every now and then, she would regret it. Over Thanksgiving she went home, and came back and texted me, "Let's talk."

"Ok, where when?"

"Library after 6 floor 3"

I didn't figure she wanted fucked in the library at 6pm this close to finals when the library was traditionally packed, so I steeled myself for what I feared was coming. Hopefully she was pregnant, but I detected Douchebag Dakota was somehow involved.

"Dakota knows I've been seeing someone out here. He says it has to stop."

"Who the fuck is this asshole, and why do we care? Do you love me, Darcy?"

"Yes- no, Sure, but...it's complicated. You see, he is-"

"Darcy, I don't care. I love you, but I cannot love you and have you pretend to love me, fucking with my mind, then worry about some loser who also has you wrapped around his dick," I said. I was pissed. I knew it was better to have it out now. "I can't give you all of my love then have you hold back 50% for some other guy. I can't do it. What will it be?" I said, as I stood up.

She looked down, then left, right. Then she looked at me with these sad eyes, and said, "I don't know. You treat me so good. But I'm afraid. Afraid of him, yet afraid to lose you."

"Too late. You made your choice," I said as I walked out of the library.

I walked around campus for hours. I shut my phone off so no one would bother me or track me. I ended up in some remote room of some remote building on campus where I wanted to cry and wanted to break shit. But I did nothing. Nothing but think.

I made it home about midnight, and Darcy was there, talking with Ryan. When I came in the door, I stopped, and Ryan said, "I'm tired, you kids have fun," and he went to bed. I just stared at Darcy.

I wanted to hate her, but wanted to love her. And when she looked at me with those sad, blue eyes, I knew I would do whatever she wanted.

"If you want me to leave, I will, and you will never have to see me again. I get it, I understand, but hopefully you will ask me to stay."

"What happens tomorrow, Darcy? With us? With what's-his-name?"

"I called him and told him it was over."

I wanted to believe it was true. I wanted to be with her. Even if I had doubts, one look into those blue eyes I knew, so I told her, "My heart can't tell you 'no'."

She stayed the night, but we held each other. We were too fragile for sex.

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To be continued...