All Comments on 'My Journey Ch. 05'
by npanxx
- 5 Comments
Anonymousalmost 10 years agoI started on chapter 1 today and love it so far. I love very combination in this story. Very clever how you get people together .
JoJoJuddabout 9 years agoI love the plot, the voyeurism, the complex interaction, but most of all the shear literary genius here. Sure, we have stuff like "Frankly, Scarlet....." and "Hark, what light," but with this story we readers are showered with the golden words of the aptly named Mr. P.: "The World is My Urinal!" Please, everyone, read this story. I promise you will love it! Thanks npanxx. I'll' read the other stories tomorrow after I unwind.
Anonymousover 3 years agootherwise good story.
You suddenly made the backyard pool become a warm, salt water pool, (which would be significantly more expensive to build and maintain, due to the corrosive nature of salt, in contradiction to them not going 'over the top', expense-wise, when they decided to add a pool), then no more than 2-3 paragraphs later, you describe the pool as comtaining 'cool, refreshing' water.
What makes the sudden intro of salt water most jarring is you obviously haven't spent any significant amount of time around the ocean, (being from the mid-West, I can understand why).
I have; a lot. If the six of them had been fucking, as described, in salt water, it would have been the last time. Salt water is abrasive, very abrasive. It's why surfers wear long sleeves, (one of the reasons, the other is board wax).
The women would have not been inviting anyone to their beds that night, and poor Clark would have been whining, and sitting in a washtub of cold water.
i immediately cringed when you started talking shit about the "warm, soothing salt water". Way to fuck up the mood.
npanxx@npanxx
