My Journey into Spiritual Sex Ch. 02

She began, "Naturism is not sexual, sensual or erotic; it is natural and spiritual. Think about that statement for a moment."

I did think about it. 'Hmmm! 'I Thought, 'an interesting concept'.

"Naturism-being naked is connection with the earth, connection with the universe. It is freedom, simplicity, minimalism. When you are naked there can be no vanity, narcissism or ego. It is just the basic you and that is it. There is no opportunity to flaunt style or wealth. It is truly back to basics. Nudity is a great leveller, and allows people to connect with absolute equality. You can tell very little about people's circumstances when they are naked. And be under no illusions-everybody has things about their bodies that they do not like. Everybody has a body that, if you like, is both potentially amusing and an embarrassment. I'm going to be saying a little more about this later in this session.

In her introductory talk last night Sylvia began to explain what this retreat is about and our core beliefs at this centre about naturism, spirituality, and mindfulness. I'm going to take this further now and assert that this merger of spiritual intelligence, mindfulness, meditation, and naturism is the ultimate blend of reality and truth of who we really are and can aspire to be. This is where happiness, contentment, joy, and enlightenment are to be found. You need to literally strip away the trappings of western culture and discover the raw essentials of our true existence."

'Hmmm!' I thought. Some bold claims. But really it was just so exciting to be hearing this stuff. After a lifetime of experiencing the urge to strip off, and be naked, being an exhibitionist, here was someone legitimising my behaviour and urges and seeing them as part of something on a higher worthier level. This was a way of thinking that I had intuitively felt was out there but could not quite define it in my head. This ravishing bombshell Soraya was crystallising it for me and a big door was opening up. I knew I was home, where I belonged.

I started to see that I had been confusing my love of being naked and naturist yearnings for a desire to be an exhibitionist, and seen exhibitionism as the outlet for satisfying these urges. But for the first time I was hearing that just maybe the proper channel for my naturism and love of being naked was something else worthier and more virtuous. Maybe I should start to see my love of nudity as a component of being a more spiritual person and as part of practising spiritual sex. I only half understood what Soraya was saying. These were only concepts at this stage. But it was exciting none the less and it felt like a watershed for me- a turning point.

Soraya continued, "Now we use this session as an ice-breaker and to get you into the swing of being naked. After this session we encourage you to spend as much of this retreat naked as you can. You will get the most out of it this way. So as your coach I had better set an example and get the ball rolling."

With that Soraya somehow seemed to unclip her sari and in one movement the whole thing dropped to the floor and there she was standing in front of the group completely naked. She had been wearing nothing underneath the sari. Well actually the only thing she was wearing was some mystic looking chains around her neck that hung down to her navel just above her neatly trimmed triangular red bush. What a perfectly honed olive skinned body she had, complete with a six-pack rack of abdominal muscles. I could not believe my eyes and there was an intake of breath throughout the group. But then I started to think- yeh well it's a talk on naturism, nudity, so why not? And Soraya was clearly a woman who enjoyed being naked. I was starting to love Soraya already. She was my kind of woman. A woman after my own heart. How I would have loved to be her at that moment.

Soraya then laughed," Well you can't give a class on naturism and nudity wearing clothes, can you?"

"Let me remind you that you are doing a very important job being you. You are unique. So what if you are an exhibitionist and enjoy being naked. Nothing wrong with that. So am I and so do I. Love yourself. Embrace being you. I do."

After a brief silence Soraya said, "Right I understand you have not introduced yourselves yet. I want to go around the room and for you just to say the name you wish to be addressed by this week and then in just a few seconds whether you are new to naturism or a lifelong naturist or somewhere in between. Whether you are shy, and embarrassed or comfortable with being naked in front of others. That sort of thing."

The first to speak was a woman who wanted to be known as Shakti. She seemed a confident American woman and had been to this retreat before and was comfortable with nudity. She was keen to explain that her adopted name Shakti meant the personification of divine feminine creative power of something.

Next up was Nahima who had also been before and was also comfortable with nudity. This was her real name and meant, peace and tranquillity apparently.

I did not have an exotic name to offer but neither did most of the group, but obviously I was able to say I was comfortable with nudity.

And it went on like this. As happens in these situations I could not remember all the names, but I did capture another half a dozen or so. I can't remember what everyone said but to summarise there were eight, I think, who had been before and clearly, they were all comfortable with being naked or they would not have come back. I think a couple of the women who had been before claimed to be a bit shy but that would be hard to believe, and they may only have said that because they thought they should. Of the ten who had not been before we broke down as seven women and three guys. Now all three of the guys claimed to be experienced and comfortable with, and unconcerned by nudity. Of the seven women who had not been before (and that included me) only four said that they were shy and nervous about being naked in front of others. Obviously that four did not include me. I love getting naked in front of others as you will know by now but just said that I was a naturist and not shy anymore and left it at that. So, what was to follow was really only for the benefit of just four of the group, and these were all women. But maybe in another week there would be many more participants who were shy about nudity so there would have been more point. But what we were about to do was a hell of a lot of fun anyway, so I had no problem with it and enjoyed it enormously.

The four women who claimed to be modest and a little uncomfortable with nudity were Heather, Ruby, Sarah and Carol and none of them had been before. But I'm not going to list the names of everyone else as it will hard work for you dear reader to remember them all and unnecessary.

Soraya carried on as if all of the group were shy about nudity and intended this session to be an ice breaker anyway.

"I want to ask you some questions as a group. Who here has things about their body that they would like to change? Put your hand up if that applies to you".

There was much embarrassed laughing, and everybody put their hand up straight away with the exception of one guy. That was a guy called Victor who had said he was seventy. I suppose by that age thankfully you really do stop worrying about such things.

Soraya said, " That is a pretty normal response every time we run this retreat. But I want to ask you this. In your whole lives of undressing in front of new lovers and partners has anyone ever looked at you and turned you down? Has anyone ever laughed at you or insulted you or spurned you when they got to see you in all your glory? Put your hand up if that has happened to you?"

Not a single hand went up.

"Exactly. If someone is about to have some fun with you and you're both excited and thinking life is good, no one is ever going to spurn you. People are forever worrying about their looks, and weight and shape and it is all absurd. And you girls do not believe that men lust after the stick insect bony model types promoted by the media. They don't. Men generally like real women with curves. Sex should be fun whether you are confident about your body or not. Everybody looks different and are different sizes and shapes and thank goodness for that. What a boring world it would be if that were not so. None of it matters. Just have fun with it."

Soraya paused for a moment considering where to go with this next. Then she said, "I want you to see your bodies in a new light. It is your home where you live. It has been faithful and loyal to you your whole life, carrying you around, giving you pleasure and fun. It deserves your appreciation, recognition and respect. Not your disdain and dissatisfaction. Love your body and it will love you in return. And those of you who are mothers it has been an amazing vehicle that has produced the miracle of your children. Your body is perfect and yours and yours alone."

She continued with a serious tone, "You should never judge someone else's body. All bodies are equally beautiful, and we should accept everybody literally; thin, large, young, old, tall, short, firm, saggy, disabled. Everybody".

There was silence for a few seconds while she let that message sink in.

She then lightened up, put a smile on her face like she was looking forward to this and said, "Right we are now going to play some games. In this box there are pairs of eye shades of the type you get on planes. Please take a pair and return to you mat, sit down and put them on."

We all did as we were told. "OK, is everyone now blind?"

We all murmured that we were.

Soraya continued, " Right I want you all to stand up in your spots and undress completely. Everything off please and I know you cannot see but just do your best to pile your clothes on your mats."

I was only wearing my cotton robe. I had no underwear on. I never got to see what the others had on under their robes.

"Now I am going to ask you how you feel now? Is there anyone who feels shy or inhibited or embarrassed?"

No one spoke or said anything at all.

"No of course you don't. You see how illogical it all is. You're naked anyway but no longer shy!"

"There is nothing perverted about being naked. It is completely natural. The most natural thing in the world."

She waited a couple of minutes which seemed like forever and then said, " Right, now I want you all to walk slowly and carefully towards my voice in the centre of the temple. When you make contact with someone else, I want you to cuddle them and speak to them. Reach out to them as a new friend."

I walked slowly towards her voice and eventually came up against another person. At first, I did not know whether they were male of female. I cuddled them closely. This was a bloody good game I thought. A hell of an ice breaker. I then felt a prick wobbling against my stomach and knew that my first catch had been a guy. He said, "Hi! I'm Mark. Lovely to meet you."

I replied, "I'm Rachel. This is my first stay here." I thought why on earth did I say that? I remember Mark had said he had been before.

Soraya said, "I now want you to move from one person to the next cuddling and welcoming as many different people as you can in the next five minutes. Don't forget to honour them and greet them in your own words. Be yourselves. Be authentic."

My first partner seemed reluctant to throw me back into the water. He was enjoying himself. His arms were around me holding me tight as if I might escape and his hands gradually slipped down to holding my bottom. I found this whole situation funny and held him tighter too, and said, "Lovely to meet you too and to connect with you."

Yes, I know that sounded naff, but it was the best I could come up with. Anyway, I thought we had spent enough time running our hands over each other. It is funny how much more you do this when you are blindfolded than you would if you were able to see each other. It does allow you to be much more forward and uninhibited.

I pulled away from my first partner with a final, "Thank you", and moved literally one step and found myself in the enthusiastic embrace of someone else. They said to me, "I give you my love and positive energy."

I could tell from her voice it was a woman. She sounded like she had done this sort of thing before. I submitted, myself to her attentions. Her hands ran softly and expertly over my skin and she ran her fingers through my hair. This was fun I thought. I let her take the lead. She held my hands and squeezed them. Then she ran her hands over my breasts. I could not believe how much cheekier people were when we could not see each other. One of her hands stopped over my heart and she held her outstretched palm firmly on my left breast over my heart. She said, "I feel your energy. My name is Shakti."

I noticed she had an American accent and remembered who she was. I had noticed her before. I remembered she was the woman who had changed her name. She had been before to this retreat and was an experienced seeker on the spiritual path. This was the reason she had changed her name. I replied, "Hi! I'm Rachel. I feel you too."

I felt safe and comfortable in her hands and embrace. I was happy to stay with her for the next five minutes, but she threw me back into the pool with a final, "Peace and love to you Rachel".

I lasted on my own for no more than three seconds before I was in another embrace. I knew straight away this was another guy. He held me close with his arms around my neck like we were going to have a smooch. I felt his semi hard prick moving across my groin and tummy. I said my usual, "Lovely to meet you. I'm Rachel."

The guy chuckled. "I thought it was you Rach. I recognised you straight away. Are you enjoying yourself?" It was my tantric masseur, Joshua.

I wondered which particular part of me Joshua had recognised! Joshua knows every millimetre of my body intimately and I have spent many blissful hours subjected to his skilful attentions. So today he would feel entitled and authorised to touch me wherever he fancied. And he did. He put his hands down around my back and held me tight and then one of his hands slid around my hip and stomach in between us and caressed my mound. He knew he did not have long and needed to move fast. He then pressed his palm firmly against my mound and held me tighter with his other arm. I could understand that after all the intimate time we had spent together he would have felt almost obliged to give me a top up dose like this. He was behaving a bit proprietorial! It seemed appropriate. He has given me so much sublime pleasure in the past. He can play my body with perfection like a musical instrument. No one would have been able to see anyway. His hand slipped between my legs and he cupped my crotch. At one point one of his fingers slid down between the moist lips of my vagina. I held him all the tighter grateful for his familiar touch. I could not help but smile at the outrageousness of it. I knew I had to move on as it would only ever get harder to stop. After longer than we should have lingered I reluctantly pulled away and found myself immediately in the arms of another woman.

A less confident voice trembled, "Hello. It's Sarah. Who are you?"

I think Sarah thought she was playing a game of blind man's buff! Sweet!

I replied, "I'm Rachel, Sarah. Don't think we have met before. But we have now!" I chuckled and so did she. Sarah delicately put her arm around me and asked, "Is this alright?"

I replied, It's fine. It's nice. How are you about all this? I think you said you were shy about taking your clothes off. Is this working for you?"

Sarah giggled, "I think so. Don't know yet. Can't see anything! But it is fun, and I am enjoying it here".

I said, "That is the main thing. Just relax and go with it. You will be fine."

I pulled her close and gave her a hug. I then gave her a kiss on the lips actually. I don't know why. Just seemed like the thing to do at the time. It was obviously welcome as Sarah responded by kissing me back on the lips. She was certainly pleased to receive the attention and assurance that this closeness offered.

This is how it carried on. In all I must have embraced with about half of them by the time Soraya brought this to an end.

"OK now for the moment of truth," Soraya said, "I want you all to now remove your eye shades."

We all did what we were told looking a bit quizzically at each other.

"Anyone still feeling shy or embarrassed?"

Nobody admitted it if they did. It was dead quiet.

Right now, I want you all to walk around slowly staring as hard as you can at everyone else. I also want you to point at other people and look them in the eyes. Be as rude and indiscrete as you like in staring at each other. I want you to keep doing this for at least five minutes. Study anyone as close up as you want.

This was the first time that I had really seen the others naked properly. As a woman you always compare yourself to the other women -you cannot help it. Are they fatter, bigger? Are they prettier? I scanned the other eleven women (other than the goddess Soraya) and thought I compared pretty well and felt better about myself. At least half of them were plumper than me. I suppose this was exactly the kind of absurd thoughts that this game was intended to make us question. I briefly felt a little ashamed at the predictability of my thoughts.

We all started to do what Soraya had asked. It was a free for all. Oh, how ridiculous it seemed. How absolutely absurd and I guess that was the point of doing it. To reinforce how ridiculous, it is to be interested in, or obsess about, what other people look like without clothes. To be honest it got boring very quickly. Soraya knew it would.

"OK you see how boring that becomes very quickly. Now is anyone still a little uncomfortable about standing around naked? Well just in case, we are going to do some more games without our clothes on. Trust me we are going to have some fun. The first one is we are going to dance. I want you to do a dance that will require you to concentrate and completely forget about the fact you have no clothes on."

Soraya started the music. It was the bloody Macarena.

Everyone burst out laughing.

"Everyone know it? If you don't just copy what I do".

With that Soraya turned up the volume on the audio system in the corner and it burst into that unmistakeable compulsive beat of the Macarena, Now I love this dance and know it well so I immediately got into the moves and of course Soraya leapt into action with the joy, glee, enthusiasm, and finesse that I would have predicted.

Boy did that break the ice. Everyone was laughing and throwing themselves into it totally and no one was in the slightest conscious or concerned about being undressed anymore, which was of course the point. It was a riot. We all knew there and then we were going to have a hell of a week. It was going to be such an experience.

Soraya was not finished yet. When we reached the end of the Macarena, we all were out of breath and gasping. Soraya laughed and said, "Right before you have a rest, I want you to stand and shout. Let out all your frustration and aggression. All your anger. Just shout anything you like. And I want you to shake at the same time. Shake your whole body wildly until I say stop. I'm giving a prize for the most energetic shake.

It was a relief when Soraya brought this to an end and told us we could lie down on our mats. We all breathed a sigh of relief and looked forward to some nice relaxation. We were disappointed!

"Right the final task is to move your mat into some space and lie down on it on your backs again and lift your legs and arms into the air as high as you can and kick and throw your arms about. I want you to pretend to be stuck on your backs and you cannot get up like a stranded turtle or tortoise."