My Krampus

I nearly fell off the slide in my sudden urgency to get out of the way. I had just straightened up again when I saw Tobias sail out of the slide, grinning like a lunatic who'd actually enjoyed it. I laughed, a bit in awe as he easily dismounted the slide, not flustered at all.

"That was fun!" He enthused.

"Yeah, it was" I lied with a grin.

In a moment like this it was hard to believe that he was twice my age. I felt a deep compulsion to wrap my arms around him and press my mouth to his, my body against his. I could almost feel his lips against mine, his scratchy beard tickling me.

I blinked away the thought, "What's next?" I asked, instead.

(Tobias)

Was the lust that crossed Allison's face at the foot of the Schlossberg slide just in my imagination? I had felt for a moment that Allison was going to kiss me, but then the moment passed. Still, I couldn't stop seeing her face in my mind, feeling like I'd missed my opportunity.

It had been wonderful just to hold hands with Allison as we walked. But I hadn't been able to turn that into something more, even as we looked out across the city together, I'd been too timid to grab her hand back into mine, making my intentions clear and unmistakable.

I sighed in frustration as I stroked my cock in the afternoon light, imagining what I should have done nearly two weeks ago. I should have taken Allison's hands in mine and looked into her eyes and told her how I felt about her. Even now she might be in my bed with me, had I only dared.

But what if she had been disgusted by me? I tried to imagine it from her point of view. An old man she'd trusted to have her best interests at heart, had moved across the world to live with, and then pressed her for sex... It didn't seem like a good thing to me. I was afraid I'd backed myself into a new trap by moving Allison in with my sister, instead of opening ourselves to romance.

We lived under the same roof, practically, as well as working in the same building. Could she still enjoy our mornings if she knew about the lust I was hiding from her? My cock wilted at this line of thought.

Irritated, I got out of bed and started cleaning. I hadn't seen half the stuff in this room in thirty years. Now was as good a time as any to purge. I went through the place aggressively, throwing things into three piles, keep, toss, and donate. The more irritated I got, the bigger the toss and donate piles grew. Soon, I was taking unopened boxes and just dropping them in piles.

One box broke open as it hit a pile and a heap of leather and fur tumbled out. I frowned at it. What could that be?

Curious, I picked up the pile and unfurled the mass of material. Laying it on my bed, I discovered that It was my old Krampus costume. The one that had been passed down for the last three generations to wear during Krampuslauf, a traditional parade where men would dress up as the winter devil and shamble through the streets, frightening children. Well, that's what the original idea was, but these days it mostly turned out to be making children laugh. The memory made me smile and forget my foul mood.

I examined the costume thoughtfully. The workmanship on it was all hand done ages ago, with repairs over the years showing varying levels of skill. I fingered a tear that I had made in the sheep skin suit the last time I'd worn the outfit. I'd done a questionable job of repairing the rip before storing the costume.

Wondering if the costume would still fit, I shook it out and gingerly pulled it on. For having been in a box for three decades, it was still in fairly good condition. And, surprisingly, it still fit. I had a bit of extra paunch now, but the costume was loose enough to accommodate the extra girth. I dug out the mask and examined the old leatherwork. A creepy devil's face looked back at me with long curling horns and a longer curling tongue. Newer masks had glowing eyes, but this old mask had eyes that were covered with black hand-woven mesh that was set inside sculpted eye sockets.

I slipped the mask on and aligned the eyes. It was easy to see out, and the mask felt comfortable on my head. It had a bit of an unpleasant smell, but nothing too bad. Still in the box were the gloves and hoof-like shoes. I decided to go ahead and try those on as well. With the full costume on, it felt natural to stoop and hang my hands and stamp a bit wildly, just like the Krampus act I'd used to play.

The sound of drunk German drifted up from the courtyard through my window, distracting me. I glanced out the window and was disturbed to see two men stumbling and hanging on each other. But what made my blood run hot was seeing who their attention was fixed on, Allison.

Without thinking, I sprinted down the stairs, out the door, around the bend in the street, and burst into the courtyard.

I shouted at the men in German. The sight of me, still moving in the awkward gait that the costume seemed to demand of me, appeared to shock the drunkards. They bolted, tripping, falling, and then running again out the far end of the little courtyard.

(Allison)

It had been a bad day.

First, I'd slept through my alarm and by the time I got up I'd missed breakfast and my walk with Tobias.

Then, the Fourier transform infrared spectrometer had absolutely refused to produce intelligible data. The background scan looked normal. The reference scan looked normal. But the scan of my sample? Junk.

I'd asked the lab manager for some input, but he'd just sneered at me, "It's all about the sample preparation Dr. Avery. Are you sure you prepared the slide correctly?"

Well, thank you so much! Of course, it was the sample preparation, since the background and reference scans were normal, that was obvious. What I needed, then, was help with the preparation! Turned off by his patronizing tone, I'd left his office before I said something unfortunate. Then, I'd wasted my entire day making new slides using slightly different preparation methods, but none had given up the sort of data that could be used for any kind of analysis.

When I'd taken a break to eat, some of the tall, thin, beautiful women that were everywhere here had 'helpfully' commented that maybe if I tried a salad for lunch instead of a sandwich, I wouldn't be so fat. I smiled and thanked them, then, my appetite lost, I'd tossed my food in the bin.

Of course, I regretted that decision two hours later when the grinding rumbling in my stomach made it impossible to concentrate on sample preparation. By the time I felt like I'd born all the frustration I could handle, I'd practically run out of the building.

I'd taken a long walk around the city, pondering what I was doing here, before I slumped back to Tobias' house and sat in the adjacent courtyard, still feeling too upset to go in and risk seeing Tobias or Leni, who would want to know what was wrong.

It had been peaceful in the courtyard, for about ten minutes. Then two drunk men had wandered in and begun speaking in rapid German. It wasn't until they were practically standing over me that I realized they were talking to me. I was alarmed by their proximity, but they were blocking me in.

"I don't understand! Sorry!" I cried, hoping they'd go away.

Suddenly, there was an angry roar, and a thing was loping across the courtyard towards us. The men who'd been harassing me looked up in shock, and backed off quickly, stumbling their way out of the small courtyard.

"Oh, thank you!" I cried, somehow sure that the newcomer was there to protect me.

As my savior approached, more slowly now, I gaped at the shaggy beast with a grotesque leathery face in fascination. The way it moved was almost graceful, if inhuman. It looked familiar somehow. I frowned thoughtfully.

Suddenly, the answer came to me. This was a Krampus costume. I'd watched several videos about the Krampuslauf Graz when I'd been researching the area in the past couple weeks. This wasn't a modern costume though; this was a beautiful antique. I wondered what this magnificent creature was doing out here now, months before Christmas.

"Your Krampus outfit is lovely... But isn't it a bit early in the year for that?" I asked.

The tall creature halted about six feet from me and spoke, in German.

"I'm sorry I don't know German," I apologized.

My lack of German had not been much of an issue. Most everyone in the city spoke English as well as German and so I'd had no issues communicating. Just today, it seemed, it would be a problem.

"Danke" I said, using one of the only German words I knew.

The Krampus dipped his head in acknowledgement. Feeling bold, I patted the bench next to me, inviting him to sit with me in the universal language of gestures. I smiled happily when the Krampus came over slowly and sat.

We sat next to each other silently and watched the light fade in the courtyard slowly. It was so pleasant to just enjoy the evening with a companion who wasn't criticizing me. Or if he had, I didn't understand it, so that was fine too. After a while, I started talking. Knowing he couldn't understand made me feel free to talk about things I'd normally keep to myself.

"It's beautiful here, and I am really thankful to be here. But I'm lonely too. I miss my home, my friends, my family. It's so hard to find the right time to talk to people back home, what with the time difference, you know?"

The Krampus listened quietly as I rambled on.

"And, this is silly, right, but I just feel ugly here. All these Austrian women are so thin, and everyone is so well dressed all the time. I just want to wear sweats and be comfortable like everyone does in the US, but here it feels like that would be sacrilege, to wear sloppy clothes among this intricate and beautiful architecture.

"I mean, it doesn't matter right. I've never been an attractive woman." I frowned, "But the worst thing is feeling stupid. I hate feeling stupid and I had a really bad day in the lab today."

The Krampus patted my thigh gently and I realized I had gone silent and was glaring at nothing. The warmth of the hand sent a shiver through me. It was a pleasant, light touch. I placed my hand over the ragged leather glove, patting the Krampus in return.

"I'm alright," I smiled at him. "You are really good company. Is that silly?"

I laughed, then I dug out my phone and navigated to Google translate. I typed in: "Thank you for sitting with me and listening."

Instead of mangling the words by trying to say them, I tilted the phone towards my companion so he could read the screen. He bobbed his head gently in acknowledgement. We sat for another ten minutes in silence, and then the Krampus stood and shambled off into the gloom that had settled over the courtyard.

(Tobias)

It was marvelous to just sit with Allison and listen to her stream of consciousness. And yet, I was sorry to hear that she felt homesick, and apparently, unattractive, and most unbelievably, stupid. At some point in listening to her I realized that she'd always put on a brave face for me, hiding her insecurities.

Somehow, seeing the vulnerable woman underneath the brilliant mind just made her more attractive to me. It made me feel proud that she'd shared that with me, even if I had been in costume and she thought I couldn't understand. Somehow, I still felt like I'd been given a gift, to see what she would normally hide.

While at the market the next day, I couldn't help but think of Allison when I saw the floral display. Flowers always cheered up women, in my experience. Impulsively, I bought a bouquet of white lilies. As I got walked home, however, I regretted the impulse. What would Allison think if I gave her flowers? What reason would I give for this gesture that wouldn't reveal my subterfuge of the day before?

When I got home, I quickly went up to my room with the flowers hidden. There, I sat on my bed and slumped. I had to decide whether I wanted to court Allison, and accept all the risks that entailed, or not.

I stared out my window moodily, and there she was. Allison was sitting on the same bench she had last night, enjoying the courtyard in the cool Autumn afternoon sun. The thought had barely entered my head when I found myself putting on the Krampus costume, almost unconsciously. I was a man who'd succumbed to two impulses in one day, practically unheard of for me.

Yet, I couldn't seem to stop myself as I picked up the lilies with my gloved hand and snuck out of the house, like a rebellious teen. I entered the courtyard from the street, walking with that distinct shambling gait of the Krampus.

My heart skipped when Allison saw me, and her face lit up. I was lost. I wanted her to look at me like that, always. There was no turning back from this moment for my heart. Not, it seemed, that I'd had any chance of turning back before, judging by my recent impulses.

When I got close, I pulled the flowers out from behind my back and presented them to her with a little bow. It was silly, but it was in character.

"For me?" Allison gasped, reaching out a tentative hand to take my gift.

She looked up at me, and I swear I saw the glint of tears in her eyes. My heart swelled in my chest, nearly stopping my breathing. But that feeling was dwarfed when Allison threw her arms around me in a tight hug. I was so taken off guard that I nearly fell backward.

I wrapped my arms around her carefully, wonderingly. She buried her face in the shaggy black sheep's wool my costume. I was thankful that same shagginess hid my growing erection. Still, I tried to angle her embrace so she would not feel it.

"Danke," she breathed into the silent courtyard.

"Bitte schön," I replied gruffly.

I couldn't help but wonder if I would have got the same reaction if I'd given her the flowers as myself. Had I missed my chance to have this, for real? My sister was right, I was an old fool.

Allison shifted her body, pulling away from me. I let her go, and she sat on the bench, patting the space next to her in invitation. I sat.

I watched the shifting light that dappled the green circle of grass on which we sat. Next to me, Allison lifted the lilies to her nose and breathed in the fragrant scent with a small smile.

"This is so sweet! The nicest thing anyone has done for me in forever!"

Allison pulled out her phone and translated the phrase into German. She showed me the screen with the translation and then tried to say it, mangling the pronunciation cutely. I repeated the words for her, slowly, and she copied me carefully. It was always a pleasure to teach Allison, the way she dived into learning whole heartedly was what had first endeared her to me.

We spent the rest of the evening practicing German. I figured that as long as I only spoke in German while dressed as the Krampus, and in English when not in costume, Allison could not recognize my voice. A switch in language is a great way to disguise one's tone, especially to someone not familiar with the dialect.

That evening was the most pleasant time I'd had in as long as I could remember. Unlike when I interacted with Allison as her professor and PhD advisor, now I was truly her equal. She was more open with me, less guarded. Subsequently, I fell even more in love.

(Allison)

My evenings with the Krampus soon became as dear to me as my breakfasts and morning walks with Tobias. I was curious about the Krampus, mostly wondering why he wore the costume to come see me. Maybe he enjoyed dressing up, maybe he thought he was ugly, maybe he met me on the way home from some Krampus club, I could imagine a thousand reasons. I might have asked, but the first personal question I asked him had been met with evasion, and I decided not to pry further.

I had asked his name, and he'd simply said, "Krampus."

I had thereafter taken to thinking of him as my Krampus. He was strange and inscrutable, but I enjoyed that mystery. Besides, I adored the costume. It was old and handmade, with excellent craftmanship and that old world eerie aesthetic that was so much creepier than modern latex masks and spandex outfits. I spent as much time studying the details on his demon face as watching the courtyard.

I thought my German was improving nicely too. One morning I tried it out on Leni and Tobias. I was still using a translator program to find the right words, but my accent and pronunciation were much better.

"Danke für das leckere frühstück," I said to Leni as I settled in at the table, thanking her for breakfast.

Tobias looked up at me and smiled, "And where have you been learning German?"

I typed what I wanted to say into my phone "A friend has been teaching me in the evenings. Won't you speak German with me?" I read the translation, working to pronounce the words correctly.

"Ein Freund hat mich abends unterrichtet. Sprichst du nicht deutsch mit mir?"

"Oh, Tobias quit speaking German when he decided to become American. Said he wanted to embrace the culture and language of his new home, wasn't that it?" Leni said as she placed a plate of eggs in front of her brother.

Tobias flashed a pained smile, "I prefer English, that is true. I am glad you have made a friend, Allison."

I deflated. I had really hoped to be able to share my new language skills with Tobias. Maybe even convince him to spend time with me, teaching me. I liked the Krampus, but I was still in love with Tobias.

For the thousandth time I wondered if I should have gone ahead and kissed him when I'd felt the impulse after he took me on that terrifying slide. I'd replayed that day in my head again and again and I had nearly convinced myself that he was feeling the same as me, the same attraction.

I sighed and stared at my plate. I had so hoped that we would become closer, here in Austria. But I saw him less now than I had as his student, with us working in different areas in the university.

I didn't feel like eating, suddenly. I forced down the food anyway though. I didn't want to insult Leni. I hurried through breakfast and then made up an excuse about needing to be at work early, so I wouldn't be able to walk with Tobias.

His frown of concern constricted my heart, but I just wanted to be alone. I felt like my heart was breaking as I walked slowly to campus. How long could I hold onto hope of a romance where there was none? My Krampus was so kind and gentle, and he spent so much time with me. Maybe he deserved more of my attention. Was I leading him on? When my heart wasn't entirely free?

Feeling like a failure at life, I trudged to my desk and flopped into my chair. I had no reason to be here so early so I just stared blankly at my computer screen. I should try to move on from my crush on Tobias, I told myself. It wasn't healthy to lust after a man twice my age who'd shown zero interest in me. I should let it go.

When I got home after work, I collapsed on my bed and cuddled the little stuffed bear wearing lederhosen that Tobias had bought me. I squeezed it tightly and wished the world was different. Then, I carefully put the bear in the bottom drawer of my dresser and shut it, closing the door on that fantasy.

With a heavy heart, I went out into the courtyard to meet my Krampus. It was ridiculous that the best relationship I had in my life was with a demon furry, but I just couldn't be bothered to care about that right now.

The days were getting shorter and colder. I wondered what would happen when we couldn't meet outside anymore. Would he ever meet me somewhere else?

(Tobias)

I was worried about Allison. She had started skipping some of our morning walks, and she had become closed off with me in the afternoons as well. Now that I had come to know her better, I could see that she was projecting confidence to me in our afternoon talks. She'd stopped her stream of conscious monologues in English that had given me such insight.