My Krampus

"How was your day?" I asked in German, being sure to speak slowly so that she could pick up each of the syllables.

"Very nice," she replied, blushing. "And you?"

"Oh, I had a very pleasant day indeed, starting with a great morning."

Allison glanced at me, "The Krampuslauf is coming soon, isn't it?"

"Yes," I replied, and then impulsively asked, "Come with me? We can walk in the parade together."

"Oh... I don't know." Allison replied with a small frown.

My hopes fell, I wanted to share the fun of the Krampuslauf with her, "Well, let me know if you decide you want to go."

Allison seemed more distant this afternoon than before, which worried me. I didn't like the feeling that she was pulling back from me. Again, I had to remind myself that I wasn't me to her. Could pulling back from the Krampus be due to her becoming closer to the real me? I certainly preferred that interpretation.

The next morning at breakfast Allison surprised me by asking if I wanted to go to the Krampuslauf with her. I caught Leni's raised eyebrow that she shot at me from the kitchen, behind Allison. Suddenly, I realized why Allison hadn't been more receptive to my invitation the afternoon before, it was because she wanted to go with me, the real me.

Unfortunately, I'd already made a commitment to be in the parade, and I was looking forward to it too. Mentally, I reprimanded myself, I had only myself to blame for this confusion. Briefly, I considered letting go of the ruse right now, but I couldn't make the words come out of my mouth.

So sorry to tell you, but I've been pretending to be someone else for weeks, listening to you unload your thoughts in a language you thought I didn't understand.

No, I dreaded that conversation.

"Unfortunately, I'll be busy on the 5th," I replied. "Maybe you have a friend you can go with?"

I ignored my sister's pointed look.

"Oh, I guess." Allison replied, a bit deflated.

The slump of her shoulders was a dagger to my heart. And yet, I still couldn't manage to say the words that would reveal my deception. I knew I had to do it, but not now.

(Allison)

I was disappointed that Tobias couldn't go to the Krampuslauf with me. He still held my hand as we walked to campus, though, and that lifted my spirit. Eventually, I thought, we should have some sort of discussion about what we were to each other, now, and where we were going.

That afternoon, I accepted my Krampus' invitation to the parade. Tobias had encouraged me to go with a friend, after all. A couple days before the parade, my Krampus brought me a much more expensive and nicer gift than any we'd exchanged before.

When he lumbered into the courtyard, a very large colorful gift bag held in his gloved hands, I laughed. It was an incongruous image, the shaggy demon beast with a pristine present. My Krampus presented the gift to me with a polite bow, and I took it.

"Vielen Dank" I replied.

I carefully dug through the tissue paper and gasped as I saw exquisite white feathers. Gently, I pulled out an immaculate set of wings. I set them on the bench and reached back in the bag. My fingers brushed soft wool and I took a bundle of white cloth out of the bag. Unfolding it, I discovered it was a gorgeous dress.

"It's beautiful," I said, forgetting to speak in German.

I hadn't really considered how I'd walk in the parade with my Krampus, but it was apparent he had. This angel costume was as well-crafted as his. And like his, it appeared to be vintage, lacking any of the fancy materials and gimmicks of modern costumes. Instead, it was detailed with fine lace and embroidery, and it seemed very well structured. I really hoped it fit me. It did look like the right size.

I carefully folded the costume back into the bag, noticing that there were also gloves. I loved the costume and was touched to get such an amazing present, but I felt guilty too. What was I doing here, making plans with this man, and accepting expensive gifts while also holding hands with Tobias? I had to end these afternoons with my Krampus, I decided. But how could I now, after he'd given me a perfectly sized costume to wear with him at the Krampuslauf?

I decided to put the whole question aside until after the parade. After all, would my Krampus even still come to see me after that? Surely, someday, he'd have to abandon the costume, right?

The Sunday afternoon of the Krampuslauf I dressed carefully in the angel costume. I had tried it on the first day to check the fit, and it had been perfect. The dress was made from thick white wool with a cotton lining that was soft against my skin, but not as cold as satin would be. It was fitted at the waist with long sleeves and a flowing skirt. The bodice had a high neck, but the embroidery was worked to accentuate the curves of my breasts. And the loveliest detail was the hood that could be pulled up or let to hang over the shoulders. I slipped on the matching gloves, then put on the wings.

It was a tight fit to wear the wings in my apartment, but I wanted to see the effect in the bathroom mirror, which I could do if I left the bathroom door open and stood back in the bedroom. The effect of the complete costume was mesmerizing. Instead of looking chubby or fat, I looked voluptuous and, I admitted to myself, beautiful.

I took off the gloves and wings and draped a towel over the front of the dress so that I could carefully put on make-up without ruining the pristine white. I rarely wore make-up. Ok, the last time I wore make-up was for my dissertation defense, and the time before that was for my official college photograph. Lacking experience, I wasn't that great at the application process. Still, after thirty minutes of trial and error I think I ended up with a decent look.

Next, I attacked my hair, deciding on a half braid that would keep my hair out of my face, but also keep my neck warm. By the time I was ready, I had about twenty minutes before I was supposed to meet my Krampus in the courtyard. I headed downstairs, deciding to wait outside. As I stepped into the street, I was pleasantly surprised with how warm the outfit was in the winter air. I turned the corner to the courtyard and saw that my Krampus was already there.

He loped over to me and said something rapidly in German. When I parsed the words in my head I was pretty sure it was a compliment on my appearance.

"Danke," I said.

My Krampus handed me a basked of candy, which I supposed I would hand out along the parade route, as I'd seen in some videos. Then, he took my hand and led me through the streets, maintaining his exaggerated gait the whole way. I felt odd, holding a hand that was not Tobias', but I also felt it would be rude to withdraw. Besides, hand holding was innocent, right? But it wasn't innocent when I held Tobias' hand, right? I frowned as I tried to unravel this conflict in a way which did not make me feel either guilty or sad.

(Tobias)

I had always known that Allison was beautiful, but seeing her in the angel outfit, with her make-up and hair done, it had taken my breath away. She wasn't just beautiful, she was perfect. Holding her hand as I led her to the staging area for the parade, I felt like the luckiest man in the city.

I ignored the niggling guilt about my continued charade. Leni had taken the opportunity to lecture me about it again when I'd asked if she could alter her old angel costume to fit Allison. She'd done it, of course, but I'd had to pay by listening to her nagging.

As we walked, we saw more and more people heading to the parade route, and Krampus' heading to the staging area. I looked around at the other costumes. Smugly, I thought that Allison and I looked the best by far. The gathering of costumed folk, most already fully in character, amped up my energy level.

I hopped around and generally acted like a fool with the other Krampus, teasing any kids who happened to wander by. Of course, I also teased Allison. It was very rewarding to see her burst into laughter, getting into the spirit of the night.

We started walking the route just as snow began to fall, taking our place in front of a float that blasted out music with guttural vocals. I recognized the songs from Rammstein's Sehnsucht album.

Allison skipped from one side of the street to the other, handing candy to the children that I had just surprised into raucous giggles. Behind us, the track changed to Engel.

In the snow, in the fading light, with the song that crooned, "God knows I don't want to be an angel", in harsh and clipped German, Allison appeared as truly an angel to my eyes. Her hair was nearly as glowing white as her dress, hanging down over the unused hood. Her smile, with her white teeth, lit the faces of all who watched her.

As we walked, I could see that several male spectators were taken with her beauty. As Eifersucht played, repeating 'jealousy' angrily, I took a bit of joy in jumping in front of a few of Allison's admirers. I startled them from their focus on my girl and grabbed their hats for good measure. I always returned them, of course, not being a total jealous fool, only halfway there.

When we finished the parade route, my body was exhausted, but I was also still full of energy. I felt ready to stay up the whole night like a young man, and I wanted to spend my night with Allison. Not necessarily doing anything in particular, I just didn't want this magical night to be over.

"Spend the night with me," I told Allison, remembering at the last minute to say it in German.

Allison's smile faded and she looked worried. She took my hands in hers and set her shoulders, as if preparing to deliver an unpleasant message. My happiness immediately faded.

"My Krampus, I cannot spend the night with you," she began, still stumbling a little over the German pronunciation.

I immediately realized the misunderstanding. I had meant she should walk with me, talk with me, but she'd understood something different, something sexual. It made sense, when I mentally translated the sentence to English, she thought I was propositioning her to sleep with me. Before I could clarify, she spoke again, this time in English.

"The truth is, I am in love with someone else. I have been selfish to lead you on like this, but I've been so confused," She said, tears leaking from her eyes, smearing a bit of her mascara.

In love with someone else? I stood up straight and backed away, dropping the Krampus mannerisms. Who could she mean? Stupidly I had forgotten again that I was not myself to her. The realization washed over me at the same time she said it, still sticking to English, as if she couldn't quite bring herself to say the words in German, which had been our shared language in this facade.

"I am in love with a man I've known for years. A man who deserves better than me. I've loved my professor for five years, and I simply can't let it go. I am so sorry my Krampus."

My breath stilled as she described me. She was in love with me? My heart stuttered to a stop as my whole universe tilted and realigned. I had hoped she might see me in a romantic light, had been sure that we were making progress, but I had not expected love.

"I have loved him for such a long time, and I thought there was no chance, but lately... Lately I don't know. It seems he might be able to see me in the same way I see him." Her tears were flowing freely now.

I reached out and enveloped her in a hug. She wept on my shoulder. I could only imagine what she was thinking. I was still processing this revelation, shocked. I could see now, what my sister had warned me of had happened. I had broken my girl's heart, without even knowing I was doing it.

My heart tight with fear, I untangled Allison from my arms and stepped back. Trembling with nerves, as I hadn't since I was a teen, I raised my hands to my mask. Allison's mouth dropped open as she realized what I was doing. She watched, entranced, as I pulled off my disguise.

"Tobias?" Allison said with shock.

"Allison, please forgive me for this deception," I said.

"You... It's been you this whole time? I don't understand." Allison shook her head, her tears drying in the shock of this moment.

"That first afternoon, I was trying on my costume when I saw those men accost you. I ran down to stop them, and then... Then I let myself be carried away. I saw an opportunity to have a relationship with you that wasn't bound by the restrictions of our age and our past, and I took it. My afternoons listening to you ramble on life have been the most enjoyable that I've had in a decade.

"I love you, Allison. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to be close to you and this suit," I pulled at the fur of my costume, "made that possible."

Allison shook her head in confusion and disbelief, "I... I need to process this. I need to be by myself. I'm sorry, Tobias."

I nodded, "Let me walk you home, at least?"

I had a horrible sick feeling in my gut. Now this, this was my own heartbreak that Leni had warned me about. I had ignored her too many times. But worse than my pain, was the expression of loss and hurt on Allison's face. I hated to have caused her sorrow.

We didn't speak the whole way back to the house.

(Allison)

When I got back to my apartment, I carefully took off the angel costume and folded it up so I wouldn't damage it at all. Then I sat and stared at it. I got up and pulled out the bear with lederhosen from the drawer where I'd deposited him weeks ago. I went around an collected the little gifts that my Krampus had given me and put all that next to the bear and the angel costume. Then I sat again and stared.

I replayed the past couple months in my head. And the only thought that seemed to repeat in my mind was, I should have kissed him at Schlossberg! This whole time I could have been kissing Tobias, and there was no reason for this long, complicated mess to have ever occurred.

Finally, I got up. I took a quick shower, washed off my ruined makeup, and cleaned myself of the sweat that had accumulated during the parade. Taking a deep breath, I walked down one flight of stairs and then lightly stepped to Tobias' door. I knocked softly, hoping he was still awake, as unable to sleep as I was.

"Come in, Leni," Tobias' tired voice called out.

"It's not Leni," I replied.

Seconds later, the door practically flew open, "Allison?"

Tobias appeared to have just showered as well, his hair was wet, and he was dressed in pajama pants and a t-shirt.

"Is that invitation still open? To spend the night?" I asked, nerves making my voice waver.

For an answer, Tobias pulled me into the room, and into his arms. He kicked out a foot and I heard the door shut behind me. It felt incredible, to be this close to him, finally. The last time I'd hugged him, without his furry costume in the way, had been quick and in a moment of Thanksgiving induced emotion. This was different.

This embrace lingered, letting Tobias' heat sink into me. Slowly, his hands began roving over my back, from my shoulders to my hips, and then lower, and he was holding my butt in his palms. My breath caught and I turned my face up to look into his eyes.

His lips touched mine, softly. His breath was a flutter of air across my skin. I opened my mouth slightly and our breath mingled, creating a furnace of hot air between us.

"Tell me again," I murmured.

"I love you, Allison" Tobias said, needing no clarification of what I wanted to hear.

"I love you too, Tobias," I replied, my heart full.

I kissed him again, and this time, our tongues met, slowly exploring each other. Tobias' hands moved upward on my back, under my shirt so that his bare skin touched mine. My clit began to pulse with need. It had been a long time since I'd been with anyone. It had been a very long time since I could look at anyone other than this man and feel this sexual tension that I felt now, felt every time I was in Tobias' presence. And now, with all the barriers between us finally broken, that need was growing rapidly more urgent.

Tobias tugged my shirt upward, and I raised my arms, allowing him to take it all the way off. I wasn't wearing a bra, or underwear for that matter. I'd just thrown on a t-shirt and leggings to walk downstairs.

Tobias pushed me back into the door, then reached up next to me and flipped the light on in his room. He examined my breasts intently, kneading them with his hands. Then, he bent down and pulled one pink nipple into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue.

I threw my head back into the door and moaned. I hoped that Leni couldn't hear me, but I wasn't sure I could control myself anyway. I was awash in need, and every touch, every kiss, every lick, was fire.

As he suckled me, Tobias pushed his hands down to my hips and inside my pants. I felt him stiffen for a second as he realized I wasn't wearing underwear either, and then he was pushing my leggings down. They were tight and clung to my legs, requiring him to let go of my nipple with his mouth so that he could slide his hands all the way down my legs until the fabric was bunched at my feet. I lifted one foot and then the next, and then I was naked.

(Tobias)

I stepped back so that I could see all of Allison's naked body before me. The curve of her breasts, her stomach, her hips, her thick thighs, her body enraptured me. How was I so lucky? This beautiful, intelligent woman had forgiven me my folly and was here with me, letting me enjoy her body and love.

"Let me see you too," Allison murmured quietly.

Jolted from my mesmerized trance, I quickly took off my shirt and pajama pants. I was painfully aware that my skin was not as smooth or taut as that of a younger man's, as Allison's perfect skin; I vainly hoped she would enjoy the view anyway.

"God, you're handsome," she said, gratifyingly.

Suddenly aware that I'd failed to compliment her, I scrambled to correct that oversight, "You are a goddess."

Allison blushed, and I could see the flush extended well down her chest. The sight inspired further stiffness to my already aching erection. I wanted to grab her and throw her on the bed and pump into her pussy until she was overflowing with my semen. But I restrained myself. She was still pressed against my door, and I waited for her to come to me, to come to my bed.

I didn't have to wait long.

She came forward slowly, her hips swaying hypnotically, her eyes focused not on mine, but on my straining cock. She dropped to her knees in front of me and the sight of her blond ponytail at cock-level caused a dribble of pre-cum to pulse out.

Allison carefully examined my cock and balls, as if judging their worth. Then, abruptly, she flicked out her tongue to taste my pre-cum. My cock twitched, traitorously ready to erupt much too soon.

"I want to make love to you," I said, "but if you put your lovely mouth on me, I may cum and I fear I won't be able to make a repeat performance."

Allison looked up at me from the floor, her gray eyes luminous and wide.

"I'm not on birth control," she stated.

The sudden image of Allison, belly swollen with my baby flickered in my imagination. The vision unleashed a deep feral need inside me. I wanted to make it real. Allison was young, just the right age to have children, and my semen was still strong. I knew it. I ached for the chance to prove it. She could give me a second chance at fatherhood.

"I would be proud... No, grateful, to have a child with you," I said, my voice low and filled with desire.

"I'd always imagined being married before I got pregnant," Allison mused.

I suppressed the desperate groan that threatened to tear from my very soul. To be so close to having my cock sheathed in her sweet wet pussy and try to maintain a sense of decorum and decency was painful. But what was the benefit of age, if not wisdom? I worked to apply that now, as I'd so neglected in the last few months.