My Mom Competes with my Stepmom

We talked a lot about Brittney. She gave me advice on how I could have done better in the relationship. Our mutual conclusion was, given that Brittney was looking for sex, it was no surprise she dumped me for somebody she could have sex with. We talked about girls who I was friends with and who had no apparent interest in me. We talked about girls I met while I was with my friends. We talked about porn videos I liked. I felt like Mom and Allison were off limits, but nothing else was.

And then it was back to Dad's. Life was much less fun there. My friendships were fewer and weaker. At Mom's, she expected me to do my laundry, clean my room, and cook my own meals, but, otherwise, I was free to do as I wanted (as long as I was back by ten). At Dad's, Allison was constantly putting me to work. Hugging, kissing, and putting my arm around Allison while we watched TV paled in excitement compared to getting hand jobs from Mom.

Then it was back to Mom's for another good week. One evening, Mom had a friend over. She and Mom talked a long time in the kitchen about what it was like to have a retail job. I got some ice cream while they were talking and listened in for a while.

After Mom's friend left, I asked Mom, "Thinking about finding a job?"

"Yes." Mom was still sitting at the dining room table, and I was looking in the pantry for a snack.

"I'm not surprised. It must be hard to make ends meet with no income."

"Actually, I'm doing fine financially. I got a nice settlement when your dad divorced me. We're staying here rent-free. When Grandma dies, I'll inherit this house and quite a bit of money. I don't need to work."

Thinking about Grandma dying made me lose my appetite. I sat down at the dining table with Mom. "So why are you thinking of finding a job?"

"I'm lonely when you're gone. And you'll be off to college soon. For the last twelve years, I've made most of my friends from my involvement with your school. I won't have that commonality anymore."

"Do you wish you had had another kid?"

"Yes. Particularly now. Then I'd have another child to fuss over after you went off to college."

"Why didn't you ever have another kid?"

"Your father was never interested in another one. He was no help raising you. I decided I didn't want to be a single mother again."

"Okay."

That seemed to finish the conversation, so I started to get up from the table. Mom said, "Sit back down."

"Okay." I sat back down.

"What I told you about why your father and I never had another child was the story I tell everyone, but it's not the real reason. As we are being honest with each other now, I'll tell you the real reason."

This piqued my curiosity. "Which is?"

"For a long time, we didn't have the money to have another child. I wasn't working; my parents were giving us money so I could be a stay-at-home mom. Your father wanted to start a business and saved every penny he could towards that. And then once he started his business, we barely had enough to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table."

I had heard this many times before. "But after a couple of years, the business was making good money."

Mom nodded. "And I started talking with your dad about having another child. He was always 'Let's wait another year,' but I ran out of patience and went off birth control."

This was family history I had never heard before. "Then what happened?"

"Let me back up a bit. Your dad has always traveled regularly for work. When he started his business, he traveled even more. Every night when he was away, he'd call me when he got back to his hotel room after dinner and we'd talk for an hour." I nodded my head. I'd seen many of those phone calls between Mom and Dad, and now I was seeing them between Dad and Allison. "And then one day, your dad called me early and said he had some sales proposal to review when he got back to the room and wouldn't have time for a call that night. I didn't think anything of it. Several months later, same thing happened. And then several months later, he told me he knew he'd get a sales proposal the next day and he'd be too busy reviewing it to give me a call. After that, every so often he'd tell me he wouldn't be able to call me the next night. I took it in stride, a part of being married to a business owner."

It sounded harmless enough, but it obviously wasn't.

Mom continued, "And then one day I realized that the last few times your dad was too busy to call me, he was in St. Louis. When I realized that, a shiver went through me. There's nothing a stay-at-home mom fears more than her husband having an affair."

"Was he having an affair?"

"I didn't know. I still don't know. At the time, I tried to think of other reasons why he always wanted the whole evening free in St. Louis. Maybe he was taking the client to a strip club? Maybe he was playing poker and didn't want me to know? There were a lot of other possible things he could be doing."

"All right."

Mom held up an imaginary piece of paper. "After that, every time he gave me his trip itinerary, I'd look for St. Louis. Every time he went to St. Louis and only when he went to St. Louis, he wouldn't call me. At this point, we had been trying for another baby for over a year and had had no luck. I suggested taking a break, and your dad happily agreed. But the reason I wanted a break was I wanted to know more about what was going on."

"That sounds wise."

"Shortly thereafter, your dad told me he was going to be too busy to call me when he was in Atlanta. And he was always too busy when he was in Atlanta after that. Six months later, he was too busy in Chicago."

I said, "Okay. Something was going on."

"Yes. But what really shook me was when he suddenly stopped being too busy to call me when he was in Atlanta. He was seeing the same people at the same customers every time. Why had he been regularly too busy every evening he was there, but now had plenty of time to call me?"

"The woman he was seeing had decided to stop seeing him."

Mom nodded. "That was what I concluded. My subtle questioning of your dad got me no answers. I had no evidence he was cheating on me. But I was certain he was. His business visits to most cities were constantly getting rescheduled, but his visits to his don't-call-me cities never did. He was also so much more excited to go on trips that included a don't-call-me city, and he was always in a better mood when he got back from those trips."

I shook my head in disbelief. "I had no idea this was going on."

"Adding to that, Grandma was in bad health, and I wanted to be more involved with her care. I asked her to move close to where we used to live, and she refused. Her doctors and her friends are all here. I asked your dad if I could spend several days a week here, and he was absolutely against it. So, I started considering divorcing your dad. But I couldn't end what I thought was a fairly happy marriage without any evidence of your father cheating on me."

"So, you didn't divorce Dad."

"No. I was saved from my quandary when his habits suddenly changed. Much less travel, a lot more late nights at the office."

I realized what had caused the change. "Allison."

"Yes. I knew what was going to happen, and I let it happen. I had my plans for moving here all worked out before your dad walked out. Everybody was sympathetic to me, the wronged wife. I don't think people would have been as sympathetic to the I-suspect-but-have-no-evidence-of-wrong-doing wife."

"So that's why you never had another kid. You thought Dad was cheating on you."

"And could divorce me at any time for the other woman. Again, your dad had no interest in being a father. Trying for a child had been a frustrating year. Not trying was the easiest, safest thing to do. But now I regret doing it. I so wish I had one or two more kids running around this house right now."

* * * *

Back at my dad's, Allison was driving me nuts. I just wanted to chill, and she was always demanding that I help her do something. When I knew it was close to time for her to get back home from the gym, I called my friend Jackson and asked if he wanted to go to the mall. He said sure. I left a "Gone to mall" note for Allison and went outside for Jackson to pick me up.

When Jackson and I got to the mall, we went to the food court. While we were waiting in line, we started talking with two girls. We had lunch with them and then shopped with them. It was the best time I had had with a girl since Brittney left. The girls went to the bathroom. While they were gone, Jackson and I decided to ask them for their phone numbers when they got back. But they never came back. Jackson and I waited way past when I should have gone home, hoping they'd finally return. But they didn't, and I went from being in a great mood to being in a foul one.

When I got home, Allison tore into me. "Where have you been?"

"At the mall," I said tersely. "I left a note."

"You were at the mall this whole time? You were goofing off all that time? You knew I was expecting you to help me clean this afternoon."

This was pissing me off. I was in a bad mood when I got home, and this was making it worse. "I'm not your servant."

"I'm not yours either. It's not my job to clean the house for you. It's not my job to cook meals for you. We're providing you with food, spending money, and a nice place to stay. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask you to help out regularly."

Allison had this way of constantly pushing you to do whatever she thought you should be doing. She did it to me, and she did it to Dad. She always made whatever she asked me to do sound reasonable. Which right now was making me even angrier as it made me feel like a jerk for doing what I thought was reasonable.

I said defiantly, "I do my own laundry."

"B...F...D. There's not much difference between doing laundry for two and doing laundry for three. I hate cleaning and cooking alone. I want you to cook and clean with me to keep me company. Is that really so hard?"

I felt like slamming my fist on the kitchen counter. "Fine! Let's clean then."

"I've already done what cleaning I wanted to do for the day. It's time to make dinner."

I was close to screaming. "Okay! What's for dinner!"

"The recipe is right here where it's supposed to be. Get the ingredients out."

When I picked up the recipe, I was so angry I could hardly see straight. I calmed down a little as I got the ingredients out.

Once I had all the ingredients out, Allison said, "Cut up the bell pepper." I started taking my anger out on the bell pepper. "After dinner, I want us to go to an art museum. They're having a temporary exhibition I want to see."

I said through clenched teeth, "I don't want to go to an art museum."

"Well, I don't want to go alone. You don't have anything planned for this evening, do you?"

"No."

"You don't need to spend another evening watching videos. Getting some culture would be good for you."

I DID NOT want to go to some art museum. "What about your video call with Dad?"

"He told me yesterday he's going to be busy tonight reviewing a big sales proposal."

"He's in St. Louis, isn't he?"

Allison's hands froze and her jaw dropped. "He is. How did you know that?"

"Because he was always too busy whenever he traveled to St. Louis to call my mom. For years, he's gone to St. Louis every three months or so and then been too busy to call home."

Allison's mouth opened and closed several times before she said, "You're not implying..."

"That my dad is fucking some woman in St. Louis tonight? Yes, that's what I'm implying."

Allison turned bright pink. "How dare you! Your dad would never cheat!"

The stupidity of her statement enraged me. "What do you think he was doing with you before he walked out on Mom?" Allison froze. "My dad has always been a horndog. And then he became a cheater. And he didn't change when he said 'I do' with you."

Allison turned redder. "You...you..."

"You asked once about what college my mom went to. Well, she was all set to go to Yale when she graduated from high school. And then her dad asked her to go to the company picnic with him. She didn't want to go, but Grandpa insisted. He wanted her to meet this young man he had just hired out of college. Three months later, Mom was setting up a nursery instead of leaving for Yale."

Allison looked shocked. "Your dad..."

"Knocked up his manager's daughter the week after he met her at the company picnic. And then he waffled for months about marrying her. Grandpa had to tell my dad that he was going to fire him and tell anyone calling for a reference that Dad had stolen money from the company."

Allison looked like I had gut-punched her.

I was on a roll now. I couldn't stop telling her what a rotten person my dad was. It felt good to get it out. "So, Mom wasn't surprised when he started cheating on her while on business trips. And she wasn't surprised when he started working late regularly with you. She never had another kid because she knew someday Dad would dump her for a woman he was having an affair with."

Allison dropped the knife she had been holding and cocked her arm.

"Dad's no happier with you than he was with Mom. The reason he dumped Mom and married you is that he thought as a successful businessman he deserved a trophy wife. That's all you are to him."

WHACK! Allison slapped me across the face. She half-screamed, "Get out of here! Stop it with all your lies and stories! I should have known you'd try to ruin my marriage out of bitterness. Your dad loves me. He doesn't love your mom. He hasn't loved your mom for a long time." She pointed out of the kitchen. "Now go to your room. I don't want to talk to you again for the rest of the week."

I turned and walked away.

Allison yelled at my back. "And don't come back in two weeks! I'm tired of your sniveling, ungrateful behavior! Don't come back again this summer!"

I could hear her crying as I closed the door to my room.

* * * *

I avoided Allison for the rest of the week mainly by staying out of the house. When she did see me, she shot me an angry look. I had gotten what I wanted - Allison letting me chill - but I didn't feel good about it. Yet another Be careful what you wish for. Wasn't it a good thing to let her know that Dad was cheating on her? That Dad had a history of cheating? Wouldn't she want to know that? Hadn't I done her a service?

Still, I was haunted by the sound of her crying.

When I got home, I didn't tell Mom what had happened between Allison and me. I suspected Allison might call me, apologize, and ask that I come next week. Or maybe I'd call her, apologize, and ask if I could come next week. I didn't want to tell Mom what I had done, and I hoped Allison didn't want to tell Dad what had happened.

One thing I realized was that by telling Allison what I had, I had endangered going to college. Would Dad still pay for my college if Allison came to him and told him I had told her a bunch of lies to try to ruin their marriage? Mom and Dad had agreed during the divorce that Dad would pay for my college. Was that in writing? Even if it was, would Dad try to back out on it? It wasn't like Dad was a doting father. That made me think more strongly about calling Allison.

Tuesday when I was getting close to calling Allison, she called me. She said in a small voice, "Would you please come back next week? I don't have anyone to talk to."

"Certainly. I'm sorry, Allison. I don't know what came over me."

"Was everything you told me true?"

"No. Dad is happier with you than he was with Mom. It bothers me that he divorced my mom to marry you, but he's happier because he did it. I said far too much, and I'm sorry."

"Was everything else you told me true?"

It was painful to answer. "Yes."

There was a long pause. "I don't know what to do, Bryson. I don't know what to do."

"I'm sorry, Allison."

"Let's talk on Monday. See you then."

* * * *

Monday morning after Dad left to go to work, Allison and I sat down next to each other on the couch. She said, "I didn't want to believe you. I'm happy being married to your father. All my dreams are based on being his stay-at-home wife. But too many times you told me something that contradicted what your father had told me, and you were proved right. So last Monday I went to work and visited people. I stopped by the VP of Sales and asked if anything big was going on. He said no, that some things were in the pipeline but nothing big right now."

"Dad may not be having an affair." I didn't want to defend Dad, but I wanted to not hurt Allison. "He could be taking his contact at the customer to a strip club or something. Or playing poker."

Allison sighed. "Possibly. But why not tell me about those? I wouldn't care if he played poker. I'd understand if he took a customer to a strip club."

"It's a mystery."

"I asked your dad that evening about the sales proposal. He told me a bunch of vague stuff about it. It was to a big company they were secretly wooing. He didn't want word to get out that they were in negotiations."

"Sounds plausible."

"The VP of Sales wouldn't trust the owner's wife with information about the proposal? That sounds a little too secret."

"Dad could have sworn him to silence and he wanted to play it safe."

We didn't say anything for a while. Then Allison said, "St. Louis isn't the only city." It was more a statement than a question.

I hated being the bearer of bad news. I hated hurting Allison. She deserved a lot better. But now that she wanted to hear the truth... "Yes. Maybe. Mom said he cut way back on travel after he started seeing you. Maybe he stopped?"

Allison said grimly, "Or now that he's married, maybe he started again."

"He'd be stupid to do so." I knew Allison wanted facts, not my opinion. "Let me remember. There's also Atlanta. No, he stopped playing around in Atlanta. Chicago." I thought for a second. "That's all I remember."

"Okay. Thanks. He's told me several times that he'd be too busy to call me the next day, but I never kept track of what city he was going to be too busy in."

I asked, "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." Allison got up and started pacing. "Let me tell you my options as I see them. Number one is I could divorce your dad. It sounds crazy..." She sat back down. "Let me tell you about myself."

"Okay."

"I'm the fifth of seven kids. Many people have criticized my parents for having so many kids, but it was what my parents wanted to do, and I loved growing up in a big family. So, I've always wanted a big family too. And I wanted to start it right after I got married, just like my parents did."

"My dad doesn't like kids."

Allison raised a finger. "I'll get back to that. I never met a guy in college who I wanted to date and who also wanted a big family. It had been my dream I'd get married when I graduated from college and we would start a family shortly thereafter, just like my parents did. But that didn't happen."

"Okay."

"I started working at your dad's company. The first time I met your dad, I was blown away. He was so handsome and smart. He had a great way of explaining complex issues in a way that everyone could understand. And his word was as good as gold. I quickly became smitten with him. I began looking for excuses to talk to him. I'd deliver him papers from our department. I tried to time my arrival at work so I could walk in with your dad. And then he started dropping by and talking to me whenever he was in our department. I started working late, and then going up to his office before I went home to see if he was there. Those late-night conversations then happened more often and lasted longer and longer."

I asked, "So, it was a mutual thing."

"It was. If anything, I was the aggressor. And then your dad started talking about how he was unhappy at home, how he had drifted apart from your mom, how she didn't understand his life because she had never worked. I knew what he was hinting at. It was like a negotiation. I brought up that I wanted a big family and was looking to marry someone who could support such a family. Your dad wasn't thrilled about that idea, but it didn't seem like a deal breaker to him."