All Comments on 'My New Neighbors Pt. 06'

Well, you asked for a response. Overall, the first four chapters were the best. But reading five and six left me cold. While I could get the twist at the end of six as a "twilight zone-ish" (to coin a phrase) legitimate ending, I don't think it worked as well as you would have liked. It seems to me, that, in order to have a twist like you wrote work well, it needed to go further askew before ending. As for the use of "Nick" and the introduction of selling souls for sex - nothing really came of it. You came up with a potential plot twist that might have given some interesting reading - and then did nothing with it. If it had all ended at 4 chapters, I would have given it 5 stars. The last two chapters, however, brought the writing down.

That said, kudos on attempting to bring something else to porn. One never grows without stepping beyond the comfort zone of what you already know. I'll look to see where I can do the same.

You were'nt satisfied with Nick-as-the-devil so you had Lisa wake up from a dream and then end with a Twilight Zone sign off. Very confusing. Please consider redoing ch 5 and ch 6 and come up with different closing, please.

I tried something different. In my mind it was good but it didn't come out on paper as good as I wanted it too. Sorry....

No doubt the first four chapters were excellent work. However the remaining two i.e. 5 & 6 you have lost the plot. There is repetition and grammatical errors. It is not necessary to strech a story when there is no plot. But this series was wonderful and very erotic.