All Comments on 'My Voyage of Submission Ch. 23'

I am sad and weeping at this point. I knew they would stumble upon Mahmoud at some point in time, but this is outright terrible. I so hope the cavalery comes to the rescue as quick as quick can be. Longing for a nice vengeance scene where Mahmoud and Abdul are slowly slaughtered.

I will say a prayer, not for Beth, Hannah and Jìngyi, because I know this is fiction, but for all unfortunate involuntary slaves in this world.

And you, dear Thors_Fist, shame on you for this cliffhanger, letting us dangle for a month. Cruel and unusual punishment, that's what this is. But you're already forgiven. Thank you for being such a gifted writer and for sharing this wonderful story.

I wanted you to post another chapter on Voyage but this is not the way I expected it to end.

Out of 222 stories/chapters you have only posted about a dozen that didn't leave me aroused after reading. This is definitely not an arousing ending. But I have faith that you will have Beth rescued eventually. I just don't believe that I will enjoy reading these 'Desent' stories until we at least get to the rescue part.

I think for the next couple months I'll prefer to read about Chloe and Diane instead. Please don't mess up their story too.

Jesus Christ, I almost cried and it took me three try's to get through the final page. I figured their luck would run out but this is brutal. Lovely Beth serving to the end to help protect her friends. I don't even want to speculate were this is going and I'm not sure I want to know. Great writing as usual.

It was very dumb for Edgar to leave the tracker on all the time.

But, really, once she ate it, they would have found it anyway.

Disappointed it is ending

Since I don’t think Joshua is remotely stupid enough to have done anything other than let Smittys men find Fatimas parents and bring them to the ship, this just pisses me off.

Wow, a real shock to the system even though it was obvious from early in the series that this was a very probable plot twist.

It was of course a very difficult chapter to read not just because we’ve got to know the characters and Beth is everyone’s favourite but because it’s likely as close to real as it could get. I don’t imagine it was an easy chapter to write but it is of course meticulous and well written.

I had some concerns about Beth, currently she seems to be written into a corner, it was a massive risk to make herself the target and it seemed like she just gave up when they discovered the tracker. Standing up to Mahmoud just seemed like an exercise in futility. You have to choose your battles.

I hope for Andy’s sake that he really wasn’t involved in this sting operation, otherwise he’ll be made to disappear.

Thank you for writing this amazing story, from what I’ve read of the stories on this website you’ve raised the most awareness on human trafficking. It’s not a fun fantasy (trafficking) and it’s definitely not a “rape fantasy”.

Tess (uk)

Like Tess said this is a real shocker to the system and a total plot twist and one the only chapter so far I could not rate at all. This was a very difficult chapter and almost make you want to be Sahar and kill them all. I can't believe you would do this to Beth, it going to change her life forever and she won't ever be the same Beth again. I know we all have to wait to see what happens but I just hope for god that Joshua and his army come soon and save and rescue them. Joshua going to be so angry and pissed for not listening to Beth for her wanting to stay with him. This going to be change everything and not in a good way. Beth is everyone's favorite character and seeing what is happening to her will help with her understanding all it better of course for her degree but it going to change her in so many ways and I guess we just have to wait to see what happens.

I don't want to read a first hand account of sexual abuse and trafficking. I'm done.

I'm another one that finds it really hard to give this chapter a rating. So far this is probably the hardest and most devastating chapter in the whole series because what happening to Beth is so awful and I feel for Joshua because he going to be miserable, pissed off, angry, and devasted when he sees what has happened to Beth the one he loves the most. Beth has been the love of his life more than anyone else and this going to really hit him so hard and it going to be so hard for him to deal with this because beth wanted to stay with him and not leave with the others and Joshua has to own it now that he sent her away and she got capture because of that so this really going have him sending a full army and all his resources to find Beth and the others.

Like I said this was probably the hardest chapter to read and even though this will help Beth understand what the others went through for real, this going to change her in ways that she will never be the same Beth ever again.

When I 1st heard that they had found a clue to Fatima's parents and they were looking for her in Algeria, I wondered if it was a trap. That Mahmoud was dropping clues in from of her parents, leading them to a nice place to ambush Joshua's party. Maybe just to take hostages to trade for more women.

Joshua just walked straight into the trap. Going into the center of a town with narrow streets and no fields of fire was just dumb, very dumb. I hope Joshua takes the responsibility, because that was the basic error.

Then he believed Randy Andy, and split his forces. Just dumb. He needed an army outside the town to surround the enemy and rescue them so they could stay put and hold out. By army, I mean 100 men all around the town.

NO NO NO NO NO how can Joshua be so fing stupid, He didn't even think that they could be ambushed and to send all the women off together with very few armed people.

The thing I don't understand is why Beth pointed out the plan to them, she should have stayed quiet when she saw it, knowing Joshua is tracking them, so they could have tracked them all the way to the base then.

""Our overlord is interested in this one for some reason. Hold her, bend her over. When she wants to kneel, allow her to go to her knees.""

This means that someone even higher up and is Mahmoud's boss

I have long suspected that Beth would be captured by Mahmoud somehow. I will quietly wait for the chapters of My Descent into Slavery and Resurrection. I'm sure Beth's treatment will be brutal. When the rescue finally comes, let Sahar have her revenge on Mahmoud, but please don't have her die.

Yeah like others have mentioned, I not sure why she pointed out the plane, or try to resit Mahmoud, because the only thing she will get is more beaten and that just means she will have more scars on her body which won't go away, She should of just done what she was told to do since that is the best thing to do to try and stay alive and not piss them off and have them want to beat her over and again and give her more and more pain. That is what Hannah and Jìngyi did they just did what they were told to do.

I guess we just all have to wait to see what happens when the new chapters get posted in about a month, I just hope like I think I said and others have said already that Joshua Army get their fast to save them all.

Love it and very much looking forward to it continuing. I have read several of you books and have love them also

To be honest I think the best part of Beth's story was the "journey". I've enjoyed parts of the "voyage", but I don't like that Joshua married Miranda and I did not like the storyline with Lynn's adult children. The voyage kept getting more and more outrageous. I kept reading despite that because I wanted to see the trafficking issue be resolved. I don't know that I can continue with the direction it seems to be going. I am disappointed.

I hope they continue to make her eat shit with every meal.

After reading a bunch of the comments, I agree with some of them that I hope that Thors_Fist doesn't change this story so much that he loses readers and fans because of the path it's going down and dealing with sex trafficking, involuntary slavery, and the extreme torture treatments that are both brutal and almost inhuman. But I understand why he doing it so it gives more background to and a realistic realism to the full story in the end. Also so Beth will have even more of a full understanding for her degree, she will be forever changed from going through this and that she will have even more first-hand experience and understand when writing her theses that probably will be turned into a book too.

I just can't wait to read what happens to Beth and I do hope like everyone that Joshua full Army with the United States military come and recuse them very soon. He might even get help from some other countries to bring this sex trafficking to an end finally.

Who ever said "I hope they continue to make her eat shit with every meal." that is so damn disgusting thing to say, the only reason Beth did it in the first place is because she had to do it to keep the tracker inside of her. So I have no idea why you would say anything so disugusting as what you said.

Let's all not forget that every person that comes to know Beth cannot do anything else but love her. There is no doubt in my mind that Beth will suffer in the next weeks of her slavery. But it is through her resolve in knowing that Joshua will rescue her, Beth will overcome anything Mahmoud dishes out. He will become infatuated with Beth and this will be his downfall. I think it is Mahmoud who will fall into Beth's trap. Boots

As upset I am about Beth being captured by Mahmoud and worried about her vast potential torture and abuse (along with physical and emotional scars), I have to remember the biggest thing; Beth Wilson, Joshua Greenbriar, Hannah, Jingyi, and all of the rest of the crew are all fictional characters. They are not real. They are not taking a journey around the world in a luxury yacht, they are characters in a story, and the "journey" is strictly in my head managed and directed (to the finest detail) by our author, Thors_Fist. He's made all of them real in my head. I've liked the characters, the situations, and the story. I've spent a lot of time reading it (and rereading it again and again). I will wait for the next chapter/book to come out to see what happens with everyone. I hope to be able to continue to enjoy the story with karma (our author) making sure everyone gets what they really deserve.

I found this story so disturbing that I may never read another from this author. I used to eagerly await each new chapter and enjoyed his other series too.

After reading the series, I have to say the best part was the first when Beth was training with her Mistress. After that the story got a bit boring to me. I even just skimmed large parts of it. Now with this turn I'm out.

I..... I loved this series up until this chapter. I still love every part of this series up until now. It's well written and feel good while still making mention of the horrors of non consensual slavery. This chapter.... is well written. A+ for how it was written. I... I can't read more. I'm not going to make demands that you change the, to "make it right". I'm not the author. It's not my story, and I hope the next part goes well. There is a strong chance I will not be reading again until Beth and the crew are reunited with Joshua, if that happens at all. Thors_Fist, I wish you the best, and I'll see your work in other stories :) your still one of the best authors on this site

I see a peculiar phenomenon here. Readers influencing (or, more accurately, trying to influence) a writer to change the course of the narrative. This can only take place in a serial. Of course it is an illustration of the sublime storytelling qualities of the author, which I have already addressed before, that we readers are greatly invested in the story. But I cannot escape thinking how Hemingway would have treated these friendly or more insistent nudges: go fuck yourself.

This is not to disqualify those who have expressed their dismay at the turn of events; I am one of them. But I would encourage the author to just keep doing what he is doing, writing what comes up in his brain. If he would act differently, we would not have had this story in the first place.

I'm really looking forward to next chapter's in this series so far I have enjoyed all that you have done. It's your story you write as you like if anybody does not like what you write they don't have to read them

A couple things have occurred to slow things on the next few chapters. First was the death of my Mother at the end of October and having to head north for her funeral. I didn't get any writing done for the last couple weeks, although I had chapters of other works prepped and edited, so I've been able to release them at intervals.

The second thing is my editor's (JohnnyGalt) computer crapping out on him over a week ago. He did have the first chapter of Descent to edit in his hands when it went out. Apparently, a motherboard issue. I got back home yesterday, and started writing again, but still waiting for chapters to be returned. It might be a couple weeks before I can submit anything more than one more chapter of Becoming a Cuckold, which isn't a fan favorite from the comments. Because it has tie-ins to My Descent, I'm continuing it despite the attitude. Amazing to me that despite the bad press and poor scores, the most recent chapter has still been read more in two days than all but four chapters of the first fifteen chapters of My Journey/Voyage, (all of which have been published over a year) and I'm attracting a host of new people favoriting my work.

Joshua has this habbit of thinking he is some tactical military genius. But he has let his ego steer him into many stupid mistakes. Beth and the others being taken is the result of one stupid decision after another.

a couple of unescorted helos, unsecured landing area, transfering into rental trucks, splitting up the group and thus the protection. oh, and where were these magical drones he had sent to the ship? seems like adecient time for them possible. what about the wife and sending a satelite over the area for coverage?

dis they all just take dumb pills. so much for having smitty pick them up and bringing the parents to the ship or at least a different country.

yes, we allow for a suspension of disbelief, but this has gotten out of hand and the story has morphed into something less enjoyable to read than it once was.

sorry.

just my .02

as far as Cindy's comments about trying to influence the story. There is a lot of truth in theat statement. Then again, Hemmingway wouldnt publish a book a chapter at a time and then read and reply to the comments.

the best way to avaid people chirping about the plot direction is publis it all at once like a book or short story, Right?

a play as you go approach opens the author to a lot of unsolicited advice for sure, but it helps create an almost interactive feeling for the readers that builds interest.

and gets you a bunch more comments and star ratings.

Yup, a two edged sword to be sure.

easy enough to avoid by publishing it all at the same time instead of 23 seperate entries for just one story. but a lot less stars as well

I think Andy was in on it and obviously designed to split the party although why Smithy and co didn't pick them up is beyond me. They're supposed to look for these things.

Difficult to read as we all root for Beth but, as someone said, Beth needs to pick her battles. If they punish her too far she may be so mentally broken she'll never recover, assuming they will be rescued. Being captured was always an option in the storyline so good on you for treading the more difficult path.

5⛤

OMG. I guess the story had to go in this direction. Well done in getting it there. Just when you thought it couldn't get any darker, it turns pitch black. The next chapters (Descent into Slavery) should have me shaking in my boots. This chapter shook my nervous system to all hell. Five great bit stars.