My Wife's Best Friend

And then there is Erica. Her relationship with our daughters is as strong as ever. She's known as Auntie Erica to the two children I have with Josie. Her friendship with Josie has recovered and they're now close friends. Even Claire resumed contact with her after a couple of years, and after some very tearful conversations, they're now the best of friends again.

It took some time, and I even attended therapy alone before going to a couple of sessions with Erica, but I eventually found it in my heart to finally forgive her. I hadn't hated her in a very long time, but holding onto the pain of the betrayal was almost a way of me not completely moving on. I forgave her because it was the right thing to do, and after the letter she wrote, she was worthy of being forgiven. I won't say that we're friends, but I can spend time in her company and enjoy it. We'll never be anywhere nearly as close as we used to be, but when she comes to visit the girls or Josie, she will always be warmly welcomed, and hugging her isn't uncomfortable.

Josie knows I still have the occasional 'What if?' when it comes to my life. It was that night Erica sat me down and told me what she wanted that led to where I am now in life. I have no real regrets because being married to Josie is the best thing in the world. She loves me unconditionally as much as I return that love. We have a wonderful family, some fantastic friends, and beautiful children.

I wouldn't trade any of this for the world.

*****

A/N - So I did a bit of Googling regarding matters of custody in Australia and, to be honest, there are different figures on numerous websites when it comes to custody arrangements. It's fair to say that mothers are still being awarded sole custody of children more often than not, mothers are usually awarded around two-thirds to three-quarters of the time with their children, the father given the rest.

A whopping 35-40% of children either never see their father, only see their father during daytime hours, or will only see their father for perhaps one weekend a fortnight or even a weekend in a month. The 'one weekend a fortnight' father was very much the common theme when I was growing up, and statistics showed this is still the majority though probably not as high as it used to be.

Equal or joint custody is around 9-10% of the time. To be honest, even this paltry figure is better than it used to be. My parents divorced at the end of the 1980s and joint custody was practically unheard of at the time, and fathers pretty much never got any sort of custody except being a 'weekend dad'. Although it is a slow process, the courts are trying to be more favourable in giving equal treatment to parents. But when a relationship ends, the parent that moves out (and let's be honest, it's usually the father) has to find a place to live and it's not always possible to remain close to the family home.

When it comes to fathers having more custody than the mother, figures stand at around 8-10%. Again, this figure has improved in recent decades. Unlike fathers, it is highly unusual for children not to have any access to their mothers.

I'm aware of more than one couple who has gone through a divorce with children. One father gets one weekend a fortnight and one night during each week. Another father had to fight tooth and nail just to get access to his kids, eventually the court forcing the mother to allow him to see his girls. The mother is still throwing up the occasional roadblock but at least he gets to see his kids every second weekend.