All Comments on 'My Wife's Firsts Ch. 02'

You might want to actually give the reader some more. The parts you've written could have been covered in the first third of chapter one.

I like your story, but your bad grammar and poor spelling are getting in the way.

I'd suggest that you get a friend to proofread, or avail yourself of the Editor Program that Literotica offers.

~P

Not much more to comment on than has already been done. Mostly that is because there is NOT MUCH story (yet) to comment on. Take Anon's advice and put chapters together. Use the time between postings to edit better...

'through' is moving into, then past something. Like going through a drainpipe.

'threw' is to toss something, like throwing a ball. "Sweetie threw on leggings!"

but of course Splitlicker has problems containing himself and has to comment - on nothing. No, wait, he always comments on nothing!

What a dweeb.

This reads like it was written by a shear idiot.