Naked Misadventure of Thomas Miller Ch. 01

Ding.

"Do cover up deary," the old woman said in an English accent, "it's a bit nippy tonight."

"Appreciate the concern, ma'am," I replied over a few chuckles and knowing grins.

The elevator doors again slid open and revealed an even larger group standing in wait, eliciting a second round of shock.

"I'm sorry, excuse me," I mumbled as I swiftly stepped out of the elevator, into the center of the pre-assembled crowd. They were collectively caught up in the surprise of the moment, so much so that no one gave way to let me through. Embarrassment growing I tightened my grip squeezing my dick and balls tightly up into my crotch. I turned sideways and gingerly started to shuffle between the gaps in the crowd trying, in vain, to not brush against anyone with my exposed chest or butt.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Snapped one suited gentlemen as he took a defensive posture between me and the nightgowned woman by his side.

"Sor-- Sorry." I stuttered, surprised by his agressive response, "I'm locked out of my room," I explained, increasing my stride to vacate the area as quickly as possible. I called back one last time, "I'm sorry."

Despite the hour, the lobby was bustling. The crowd at the bar had grown, and the hotel's Steakhouse was still in the peak of its second seating. A steady stream of guests were trickling in from the porte-cochère, no doubt returning from their evenings on the town. My only respite was that the sundry shop was closed and therefore empty; a small consolation.

My shoulders hunched, both hands firmly clasping my groin, I sheepishly jogged across the lobby to the reception desk. I could feel my cheeks bouncing as each step landed on the cold hard marble floor.

The same young lady who had made Shannon a new room key was still the only associate behind the desk. She was on the phone, her eyes focused on her monitor; I stood as close as I could to the counter hiding from her everything below my solar plexus. I was practically bouncing with a combination of impatient and nervous energies. As guests transited the lobby I could hear the moment each one realized there was a naked man standing mere yards away.

"Omigod!"

"What the hell?"

"Holy shit!"

"Look at that!"

Finally the young lady hung up, though her eyes stayed fixed on her monitor.

"Excuse me! Hello?"

"Sorry about that, I was just finishing--Oh my god!"

Her eyes widened as she lifted onto her tiptoes to see over the counter and confirm my nakedness. She went speechless, her mouth fell agape. She tensed up. I looked at the name tag on her chest, 'Chastity.'

"Of course it is," I thought, trying not to roll my eyes.

"Chastity, hi, I'm Tom Miller, as you can see I'm--" I hesitated, "...locked out of my room."

She had gone a ghostly shade of white, as though she had more reason to be embarrassed than I did. Her eyes oscillated between my own and the ceiling, I could tell she was putting in extra effort to keep her gaze from sliding down below my bare shoulders. The strain in her face betrayed the fact that she'd likely never seen a naked man before, and was terrified to see any more of me than she already had.

As Chastity processed the situation, I was becoming more aware of the growing number of eyes on me. The traffic flowing through the lobby had slowed to a trickle. What had been, mere moments before, a bustling intersection had ground to a halt as the bystanders craned their necks to observe the calamity off to one side. A couple folks had even pulled out their phones.

"Can you please help me get back in my room?" I said with a growing sense of urgency.

She nodded in the affirmative, but didn't move.

"Perhaps a new key?" I suggested, "I would love to get back to my clothes."

"Oh, of course, I, uh... I just need to see your ID."

I raised an eyebrow. She took note of my bewildered countenance.

"Oh, right, I'm sorry. How silly of--I'm supposed to ask that, It's procedure." She rambled on, "of course, you... you don't... have any--"

"Pockets? No. I don't. Left my wallet upstairs. Can you make an exception?" I suggested, trying to redirect her attention away from my naked situation and toward a timely solution.

"Oh, dear me!"

Chastity and I both turned to see an older gentlemen, perhaps in his late sixties, emerge from the managers office behind the far side of the desk. He had probably been drawn out by the commotion the gawkers were creating in the lobby.

"Chastity, I'll take it from here." He said rushing over. "Run down to the main laundry. Grab the gentleman a towel, or even better a robe if you can find one." Her supervisor's firm but steady voice snapping her back to reality.

"Of course Mr. Johnson, right away," she said with relief, adding a "thank you" as she disappeared through another back door.

"I assume you're locked out of your room," he said turning his attention to me.

"Yes."

"OK, let's get you back in there as quickly as possible."

"Thanks Bob," I said addressing him by the name on his chest. He started pecking away at the keyboard using only one finger on each hand. It was excruciating to watch. And to wait.

"While I'm logging in can I ask if that was you I heard about on the third floor."

Busted.

"Sorry, yes, I was trying to find a towel in the gym but I couldn't get anyone to let me in."

"Ah. Well, not a problem," He said somewhat insincerely. I could tell I probably caused him some grief with the guests I awoke.

"OK, I just need your name and your room number please."

"Thomas Miller. Room 3405."

"Got it. Now let's get you that new--Hmm, are you sure?"

"Yep. Three, four, zero, five." I said slowly annunciating each number.

"Ah, Mr. Miller, it appears your name is not on that reservation."

Well shit. It wouldn't be, now would it? My hotel room was across town at the fucking Holiday Inn.

"Do you know whose name is on this room," he asked?

"Yes, it's Shannon Duer."

"And your relationship?"

"She's my boss."

"You were naked in a room with your boss?" Bob asked.

"She's also my... girlfriend," I said sheepishly. Avoiding a more accurate term, like 'mistress,' as that would open a can of worms I did not want to unpack with this gentleman while standing naked in his lobby.

He picked up the phone.

"I have to call Miss Duer to confirm I can let you in."

I sighed. "That won't work, she's unconscious."

Bob shot me a concerned glance. I regretted my choice of words as soon as they slipped my mouth.

"Sorry, what I meant is she takes prescription sleeping pills. You won't be able to wake her for hours."

"I'm sorry but I have to try." Bob said dialing the phone. He held the receiver to his ear, eyes down at the monitor while listening to the ringer.

A cacophony of rowdy voices burst through the front door in an explosion of noise and energy that drew all eyes off me. Turning around myself I saw group of about fifteen young men filing two-by-two into the lobby. Each of them clad in an identical blue and white t-shirt and jogger with matching duffles flung over their shoulders. I recognized the sort as a small-town college basketball team, much like the one I played on during my undergrad days. I became mortified when I saw their eyes searching the lobby realizing they were looking to check in and would, in a moment, be flocking toward me.

Click.

"She didn't answer," Bob said, pulling my focus as he hung up the phone. "I don't think--"

"Please!" I didn't like where he was going. I put my hands on the counter and leaned in, my stomach, penis and thighs all pressed against the cool Formica podium. "Could you please make the key anyway?"

"I would love to help, but I can't let someone into a guests's room without confirmation," he explained. "And especially not when that someone is a naked man and the guest is fast asleep," his tone asking for my understanding.

As Bob was explaining, the ball players filing into the queue behind me had all taken note of my present situation. I could feel the chuckles starting, causing me to flush. Still leaning against the desk I quickly glanced over my shoulder. Making eye contact with a few of the guys I snapped back toward the counter, quickly cupping my crotch again with both hands.

"Let me see if we have any available rooms I can put you in until Miss Duer wakes."

I sighed, as if I had any other choice.

Once again, Bob starting clicking away on the keyboard at a glacial pace.

As I stood waiting, I felt a strange light casting over my shoulders. I turned to my left and was startled to find one of the players standing mere inches away from me. He was smiling wide as he leaned in tossing up the peace sign. A half-dozen phone cameras captured the moment, immortalizing both my predicament and the stupid look of surprise on my face. His teammates' roaring laughter signaling their approval.

"Let me get in there!" Called out another young man as he passed his phone and jumped into the photo. Much taller than the other player, he effortlessly threw his right arm over my shoulder turning me full front toward his teammates. He posed pointing at me with his left hand, as if to say "check out this guy." The phone cameras flashed again.

"What's your deal?" Asked the first player, as he picked his duffle up off the floor.

"I'm locked out of my room."

"Why are you naked?" He followed up.

"I--"

"Didn't pay your bill?" The taller player snarked as he walked back to get his phone and check out our photo.

"Leave the weirdo alone." Called a voice from the back of the line.

"Sure thing, coach." The first player responded.

"I got locked out after sex." I said, desperate for some 'cred and figuring that was something a maybe-nineteen-year-old would appreciate.

"Gnarly," he said nodding in approval! His compliment almost making me smile.

He pulled the strap of the duffle over his head resting it back on his shoulder then gave me the kind of slap on the ass normally reserved for a teammate coming off the court. The smack of his hand across my bare bottom let out a crack that echoed through the atrium. Its sting, and a visible red handprint starting to welt across my cheek, made me flush once more. Thoroughly violated, I turned away from the team, my head down and my shoulders hunching in as I tried in vain to make myself invisible.

"I'm sorry, it turns out we are fully committed this evening," Bob said.

"Is there anything else you can try?" I asked on the verge of tears overwhelmed by the absurdity of how long this was taking.

"Well..." he started thinking, "have you and Miss Duer linked your rewards profiles?"

"Our what?"

"If you've linked your profiles as travel companions, I suppose I could accept that as a confirmation from Miss Duer." He grabbed the mouse again, "let me check."

He clicked once and I could see in his eyes he was waiting for the screen to load. I wanted to stop him, but this moment felt inevitable.

"Hmm... no... her travel companion is... a Mr. Charles Duer. Is that her...?"

"Husband." I said, grimacing like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Bob's brow furrowed and I could see the disapproval on the older gentleman's face.

I blushed, as if I could feel even more embarrassed.

Chastity reappeared in the door behind the desk, towel in hand. She came up to the terminal beside Bob and, started to reach out toward me. My spine tingled with relief, until, as if in slow motion, Bob put his hands over top of the towel and slowly guided Chastity's hands back down, the towel disappearing below the counter. He whispered into her ear and without looking at me again she scurried to the far end of the desk and picked up a phone.

"Sir, I'm sorry, I don't believe I can help you." Bob said, turning back to me.

"Please, I--"

"You're going to have to leave the hotel."

"Wait, what? Why?"

"Sir," he retorted, as if the answer were obvious, "you've streaked through the hotel, you've disturbed sleeping guests, you've caused a commotion in the lobby." He was growing impatient. "You can't prove who you are, or that you're even supposed to be here. You're not a registered guest, nor has any actual guest vouched for you!"

"Please!" I pleaded, reaching out to him with my left hand. "I just want to get back to my clothes," I begged, my palm open to the ceiling like a panhandler seeking charity from strangers, while my right firmly grasped my nether regions.

"Frankly, I'm not even convinced your situation is an accident," he was now indignant. "And if you've told me anything true tonight, it's that you're here to have an illicit affair," he said, a little head nod gesturing to the wedding band on my outstretched left hand. Ironically the only scrap of material anywhere on my body.

"They're on the way," Chastity whispered, a little too loudly, into Bob's ear.

"But, I--"

He cut me off. "Sir," there was venom in his punctuation.

I now understood that I wasn't getting any sympathy or assistance here. And whether it was security or the police I didn't want to meet whomever it was that was coming for me.

"...you will leave this hotel--"

My eyes welled up as I realized what I had to do and that my ordeal was far from over.

"...or you will be removed."

I clasped both hands over my crotch and made a run for it. I pushed my way through the basketball team, the players jumping back as I sprinted through their ranks eliciting a chorus of cat calls and a wolf whistle. I charged through the front door, past the bellmen and the valet staff, past the end of the porte-cochère, and out toward the street. As the lobby lights faded behind me and the glow from the full moon washed over my naked body I felt more exposed than I had ever felt in my life.

[End of Chapter 1]