All Comments on 'Neekanah - Huntress Enslaved Ch. 02'

I really like it overall, but since you're asking for feedback I have a couple of thoughts. I do think you have a habit of repeating the same point a few too many times before moving the scene on. And as they keep saying in writing classes, "show, don't tell". Figuring out what that means exactly is the essence of good writing. Easier said than done, of course.

Fair criticism... I created a rough draft of this story with 20 chapters, and while refining the first 3-4 chapters, I've fallen into the trap of grabbing segments from future chapters that seem better placed earlier in the story. In doing that I've allowed a lot of redundancy to creep in where before it was spread out over the first 10 chapters.

I'll be resubmitting a pretty large edit to this chapter, and I'm trying to review chapter 3 in its entirey rather than focusing in on small sections or individual sentences and paragraphs - too often when doing so it feels like I'm missing the forest for the trees. It's good practice for a more ambitious project I have planned for the future though.

Thanks!