Newfound Lake

"I have no idea, it just felt so fucking good," she said, sighing.

"Fuck yeah it did," he said, pulling her closer to him.

Jane draped her leg over his thighs and said, "Thank you so much, Evan. For this and everything else, I'll never forget it."

"Anytime," he said, clearly losing the battle with sleep.

She smiled at him, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. She placed her head on his shoulder, joining him in exhaustion.

Jane was awoken by a nightmare a few hours later. The only details she could remember were the need to get away because she was suffocating, maybe even drowning. She snuck out of the tent as to not wake Evan, feeling immediate relief from the wind blowing against her sweaty body. The trapped feeling persisted and for whatever reason, she walked all the way through the trees to the beach they had caused a scene on earlier. The moon in the sky complemented by its reflection in the water gave her the relief she needed from the bad dream.

Dreams and nightmares had captivated her since she was little. She was analyzing the one that night just as she had many times before but it was different at that time; she couldn't remember anything but emotions. The pieces came together quickly and she knew why she had dreamt what she did. The lake, she never wanted to leave. She hadn't experienced a true vacation since she was a baby before her mom took off.

An overwhelming sense of loss, like losing a loved one, followed her first revelation. If she was honest with herself, she had to consider Evan as a whole. It was too easy to admit that she had fallen in love with him; the summer version at least. The summer version of him would be gone in three days and it would be as if he were staying up there and she was going home alone. Hopefully, they would be able to continue being friends when they returned; it would kill her to have to end things completely.

Jane did a terrible job convincing herself she was totally ready to do what needed to be done. Back in the tent, she never really fell back asleep for the rest of the night.

********

The next morning, Evan woke up feeling pretty fantastic. He practically bounced out of the tent to make coffee for them and brush his teeth. Jane felt like melted shit after the nightmare and lack of sleep. Resolving to not take her bad mood out on him, she went out to get things moving.

"Mornin' I'm making coffee first, then breakfast. What do you want to do after?" he asked pleasantly.

"Actually, I didn't sleep much so now I feel like shit. Can we head back after the coffee?" she asked groggily.

"Yeah, sure," he obliged.

He had woken up next to her plenty of times recently, never seeing her like that. It eerily reminded him of the way she used to treat him before summer. Ignoring the thought, he concentrated more on helping her feel better. He collapsed the tent and packed everything up while Jane took her medicine in the form of coffee.

They had everything on the boat ready to leave the island when Evan let the nagging voice in his head take over.

"I'm sorry if I'm off base on this but there's nothing else bugging you is there?" he asked, cautiously. Evan knew by then that she couldn't only be tired.

Jane would've snapped at him, but she took the opportunity to get it off her chest. "Instead of getting any sleep all I could do was think. I may have driven myself crazy," she explained.

"What about?" he asked, trying to be supportive.

"Evan, last night was perfect. It was easily the best night of this entire summer," she admitted.

"But," he said.

"AND, I think it's where we should leave this. End things with a bang."

Evan shook his head, having not expected the conversation for possibly another week. "We still have three more days. Why can't we stop then?" he asked. Not that he wanted to stop at all.

"Because last night was perfect and I'd rather hold onto that than some quick fuck before we set off in separate cars for 2 hours. Besides, maybe we should start toning it down, get used to things changing," she rationalized.

Evan stared at her almost responding but unable to find the right words.

"Do you have something to say, Evan," she practically taunted.

It pissed him off so he said, "Fuck it, yeah, why can't we continue after? We can just change the rules like you have been all summer."

Jane rolled her eyes, knowing that was coming. "We're completely different people back home and you know it."

"Bullshit!"

"No, it isn't. Even up here we're different. You're a local, I'm just a tourist. That was the only reason this worked up here. You agreed to this," she said, acting like the entire conversation was just a pain in her ass.

Her denial of what he had seen between them was infuriating. "The only difference is we'll be busy with school and shit. We're still us, and you can't pretend none of it happened. We live down the street from each other for crying out loud," he argued.

"It doesn't matter how close we live. This was just a summer fling. You're the one that taught me all about this shit. You get off on giving girls a good time, and I'm not judging that. Taking me to your spots, dates to the Drive-In, incredible sex; you gave me what I asked for and more. I will always be grateful for that and I'll certainly never forget it. Summer's over, you should be used to this. It makes me think..."

"Think what?" he challenged.

"Think maybe we were lying to each other about being friends after this," she said blankly, which only hurt more.

Evan smirked angrily at her. She was absolutely right all along, they were different. Only she was the only one faking.

He turned to start up the boat but turned back and said, "I've taken girls to maybe four or five of the same spots."

"What's that even supposed to mean?"

Glaring at her, he continued, "I've never taken anyone to all seventeen of them before. This Island, the only other person I've been here with is Mike and that's because he showed it to me first. I've pointed it out to girls on the boat before, they've asked me to take them, and I always refused. I'd lie and say some creepy old man lives alone on it. It's wicked haunted and anyone that goes there is cursed by some dead serial killer who used to bury bodies there back in the eighties."

His expression softened a bit before he finished, "I didn't realize how big of a deal it all was for me until I regretted you being the one I shared it with."

Evan turned, starting the boat. They pulled away from the island fast as Jane sat stunned at the harshness of his final comment. Tears built up in her eyes and she wiped them away instantly in case he turned around again.

Either he was speeding, or simply skipping the scenic route because they were back at the Lake House soon enough. They unpacked the boat without a word before splitting to their rooms. Lisa noticed the exchange, wondering if she should warn Mike of the potential shit storm coming. Right away she took Evan's side, thinking it couldn't have possibly been anything he did. She became annoyed that she had gotten along so well with Jane over the summer but she decided to wait and hear the story first.

Evan hid in his apartment before the Friday shift started. Jane showered, heading straight to Mike after. She found him in the kitchen when she came down from her room.

"Hey Mike, can we talk?"

"Sure, you want coffee?" he asked, fixing his own cup.

"Nah, I'm good, thanks," she said.

Mike gestured to the large dining room table and Jane sat with him. "What's going on?" he asked.

Jane looked embarrassed when she said, "I think it would be best if I left after my shift tonight. It's the last one anyway, right?"

"It is, but we still got the party tomorrow and then Evan's staying until Sunday night or Monday morning," he tried to convince her.

"I'm pretty sure Evan would prefer I not be here for those things," she hinted, trying not to think of how much he was going to hate her.

Mike gave her a calculating look before he said, "You know Jane, you two haven't exactly been subtle, especially the last few weeks. You can talk to Lisa and you can talk to me too if you want."

Jane considered his words and then her reply. "I asked more from Evan than I probably should have. I wanted him to treat me like he does some of the other girls on the lake. It went too far, and I should go before it gets any worse," she explained, allowing a couple tears to drop that time.

"You're going to talk to him before you leave?" he asked. Mike could tell there were some complicated feelings around the situation.

"Yeah, I try not to be a complete bitch when I can," she laughed at herself, sadder than anything.

"Jane, we've loved having you up here. You've become a real asset this summer in such a short time. Lisa sure took a liking to you as well. I'd be willing to have you back if you and Evan can work things out," he offered.

Jane needed to leave before she really broke down. "Thank you so much, Mike, really. This has been the best summer, and the most fun job I've ever had," she told him.

They both stood, hugging one another like old friends. After, Jane went back to her room to compose herself.

Later that night, near the end of Jane and Evan's last shift of the summer, Jane sought out Evan to tell him she was leaving. He was behind the bar talking to a customer when she approached.

"Hey Evan," she said. Then she noticed the customer was Maggie. "Shit, sorry, hey Maggie. Evan, can we talk when you have a sec?" Jane asked, walking away again.

"Wait, no. I said what I needed to, he's all yours," Maggie said hopping off her stool. "And Jane, thank you for what you said that day. I'm really trying to change things," she told her before walking off.

Jane looked at Evan, the tension was palpable. "So she apologized?" she asked.

"She wants to meet after work. I'm guessing that's what she's going to do."

"Yeah," she said, cattier than she meant to.

Evan got a little irritated, clarifying, "Nothing else is going to happen."

Jane scolded herself. "I know, I didn't actually think you would. I'm sorry, look, can we talk quick?"

Evan led her to Mike's office, closing the door for privacy.

"I was a wicked bitch to you earlier and I wanted to first apologize for that," she told him.

"Okay," he said, clearly unimpressed.

It was harder than Jane thought but she continued, "I also didn't mean what I said about us not being friends. Of course, I want that. I think I just need to get back home, back to normality and think about shit. When things are less confusing and busy, I'll hit you up." She looked away at the last part and instantly he knew she was full of it.

"Yeah, definitely, when are you leaving?"

"Tonight, after work," she told him.

"Wow," Evan said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I know, it's just time for me to go home," she said shyly. "Can we hug?"

Evan hesitated but opened his arms anyway. Jane squeezed him much harder than he expected. That exchange wasn't 'see you later'.

"Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, Evan. This summer has meant the world to me and I will never forget it." Ending the hug, Jane was crying when she said, "See you back home."

"Yeah, goodbye, Jane," he said, going with honesty.

Jane looked at him for a few moments as if trying to memorize his pained expression. Finally, she walked out quickly, closing the door behind her. Evan was fairly sure he would never see her again after she left. Unless by accident, then it would just be awkward as fuck.

Evan met briefly with Maggie outside of the restaurant. She appeared conflicted about going back up to his place when he offered. She officially apologized for how she lied to him and other things she had done that he was already aware of. She told him she hoped that he could one day forgive her and they could possibly even become friends. Seeing a totally different Maggie, he forgave her, sealing it with a quick hug.

Evan waved to Maggie as she drove off. He saw Jane packing her car in front of Mike's house, resisting the urge to go over there and kiss her. He would tell her how stupid she was being, rip her clothes off right there, and hate fuck her until she realized it. There were so many mixed emotions he walked back into the House instead. Mike and Lisa were waiting in there for him since Jane had said goodbye to both of them already.

When they saw the taillights of her car leaving their small peninsula, Evan asked, "What the hell is my move now?" They stayed silent and Evan looked over at them in desperation.

"Hey, I really liked Jane, and Jane really seemed to dig you. I'm also very surprised that she left like that but it makes me feel like there's something missing here. After you told us what happened, maybe she's hiding something? Or, maybe she does have feelings for you and just couldn't deal," Lisa gave her honest opinion.

"But what does that mean? What am I supposed to do about it?"

"There is no move, dude. If she's conflicted, you gotta let her un-conflict, know what I'm saying?" Mike ventured his guess.

"So basically, I just sit here and hope things work out on their own?" he asked bitterly.

Mike shrugged and Lisa advised, "The only thing you can do is let her figure her shit out. Getting in touch with her could only make things worse."

Evan knew their advice was solid. Still, he was furious at the thought that the last two days of his summer would feel hollow and rotten. Going home wouldn't even be a relief as she would be there, somewhere.

********

SEPTEMBER 1st

*********

"Jane!" her brother Adam hollered from her doorway.

"What?" she yelled back.

She had been sitting there on the edge of her bed, staring off into space when Adam walked up. Stranger, he was there for at least three minutes watching her be a total zombie. He briefly considered if his sister was hosting some alien slug in her brain, receiving orders from their queen.

"Are you infested, possessed, or something? You're exhibiting symptoms of a need to be quarantined," he said seriously.

"Huh," she responded.

"How was your vacation?" he asked as if he hadn't said anything else.

Jane looked down when she admitted, "It was probably the best summer of my life."

"Then why do you look so depressed? Just because it's over?" he asked feigning concern but actually a bit concerned.

She hesitated but eventually said, "I really didn't want it to end, it just had to."

Adam could tell there was something majorly out of whack with her, more than usual. He walked in and sat next to her bed, signaling he was willing to listen.

After a minute she said, "I fell for the one guy I was not supposed to while I was up there and it really fucking sucks."

"Isn't that what you always do though? What's different about this guy?"

Jane ignored the jab. "It was Evan, the guy I went up there with. Before summer, I strongly disliked him. Then up there everything was so different, we actually got pretty close-"

"I bet you did," he teased. That time she slapped him pretty hard on the arm.

"Yeah, that happened too. But I really fucked up when I just kept asking him for more. It was so unfair, I kept taking. All summer I told myself we could just go back to the way it was before the sex; complete fucking lie," she continued.

Adam confusedly asked, "So where's the fucked up part where he hurt you?"

"The fucked up part is he didn't. He's just too good for me. I'm not ready for that kind of relationship."

Adam looked at her as if she were in fact mentally challenged. "So you can't be with this guy because he doesn't fuck your friends, cheat on you whenever you aren't around or treat you like shit?" he asked bluntly. Jane looked away, thinking that was exactly why. "Seriously Jane, I could never understand why you put yourself into those situations over and over. Don't you want to be happy?" he continued.

"I've been thinking about that all summer. You know how I used to be the worst kind of girlfriend." Adam was aware as he had lost a friend to her cheating. "It's just my bad karma," she explained.

"But it doesn't work like that. Good and bad karma come to you, you can't force it. If you're really dating assholes to punish yourself, then you're just getting shit on twice."

"I know, or at least I've started to realize that too." Jane knew there was no point in holding back from Adam as he often was the only person she could talk to. "I think I'm really just terrified about how I might feel about Evan. Like, have I ever really felt that way if this is so different?" she barely admitted.

"Damn, you're so damaged you can't even say the word," he joked, Jane only blushed in response. "You're being wicked dumb. You're scared of the possibility of being happy, but you run full speed into dating shitheads that hurt you."

"I'm so fucked up. I'm scared I'll let my guard down, be happier than I've ever been, and then the hammer will come down, destroying everything. That's when the bad karma will come; when I least expect it," she said blankly.

Adam felt for his sister. "From that POV, yeah, it's scary. But still, you can't let that stop you if you think things could be different with him. You should see how it plays out, for you. Start thinking about your own life and what you want."

"What does my life have to do with this?" she asked.

Adam let his frustration be known. "Do you want to run the garage someday?"

That threw her off a bit but she still answered, "No, I want to help make it much better. Take as much of the pressure as possible off dad. Someday, maybe we'd all own it together, but by then I'd only want to be there in spirit. So I can finally go where and do what I want to."

Adam had set her up, and it was time to knock her down. "So what's the first thing you could work on to get where you want, besides school?" he asked, smirking.

Jane thought about it. Soon after, an unpreventable smile took up most of her face. It was a person. "I love Evan," she said, finally.

Adam smiled happily for his sister. "Jane, you need to tell him right away," he advised.

"That's not something I can text him. He'll be back in 2 days anyway."

"How did you leave things with him?" he asked.

Jane looked sick when she said, "I pushed him away as much as I could and said a bunch of shitty, untrue things hoping he would hate me."

"You need to go back to the lake now then. You fucked this up, you need to fix it."

"I don't know, Adam. I'm not sure how welcome I would be. Evan's probably explained in detail how much of a cunt I was by now."

He thought on it for a few moments before asking, "You must've made other friends up there. Is there someone you could text on the inside so they can help it along?"

"Shit, when did you get so damn smart?" she said, thinking of Lisa.

"Probably around the time you got so fucking stupid," he replied, being her brother after all.

*********

The End of Season party at the Lake House was lit. Employees, regulars, and their families were all there. Since Jane had left the night before, Evan had an increasingly empty feeling at the fact that he was the only one at the party that wasn't sticking around. Even though he had his parents, friends, and one more year to get his degree, he had never wanted to stay at the lake more than he did then. He would go back to rarely seeing Jane and worse; they would both easily be avoiding each other purposefully when they did.

Walking over to the open bar, he poured himself a Jameson, not even realizing he had picked that up from her too. He needed more of a distraction than alcohol, so he went to find Mike. Of course, he was with Lisa, who was showing him something on her phone when he walked up.

"Hey guys," Evan said. Lisa hid her phone, looking guilty, but Evan thought nothing of it.