All Comments on 'Newlyweds' Nightmare'

Reads like a story outline and not a finished product. Good potential but needs developed.

I think Sean should have taken Amber as a "Hostage"

Was this written by an eleven year-old? Worst writing I've seen.

I was hoping the bride would plead for them to take her with them and for her to tell her husband how much she needed their cocks.

You know Hollywood used to have a board to make sure that the bad guys got punished in the end. That might have made the story better, like if Amber got the gun and the robbers were punished. Keep writing and try an editor.