No More Swedish Meatballs

“Okay,” Elizabeth thought for a minute. “Do you remember the story about the Phoenix and the carpet?” It was Kristen’s favorite story. Elizabeth talked softly into the night and her voice took on a magical quality. Kristen crawled out of the closet and curled up next to Elizabeth. After a short while her head began to nod and she dropped off to sleep with Elizabeth’s magical, musical voice in her ear, knowing she was safe and loved.

That was one of the rare good times for Kristen and Elizabeth. Usually they were at eachother’s throats.

Up until recently their bedroom had been divided by a long white string. Each stayed on their own side except Kristen had to go through Elizabeth’s territory to get to the bureau and the closet. Every day was a new adventure for Kristen and the first order of business was determining Elizabeth’s mood. Kristen often planned her day around Elizabeth’s moods.

Elizabeth was an angry, unhappy eleven year old who was taller and heavier than almost everyone in her class. She had a lot of friends, but that didn’t stop the bullies from teasing her into a red hot rage almost every day at recess. She often brought bruises home along with her homework. This was her most miserable year. Karl and Evelyn didn’t notice. They were so caught up in domestic warfare they barely knew they had children,

There was a side to Elizabeth which she showed only to a few special people. She could be kind, gentle and compassionate. She hid her good side so well she came close to losing it. But Kristen always brought it out in her.

Elizabeth was Kristen’s protector. Sometimes she hated Kristen but she’d never let Kristen come to harm. Elizabeth was fiercely protective of Kristen. Whenever anything bad happened to Kristen, Elizabeth was there to make things better.

Evelyn didn’t get much sleep that night after the fight. She tossed and turned and worried herself into a frazzle. Finally she gave up and went downstairs to make breakfast. She decided a big, fancy breakfast would help repair the damage caused by the fight. She was nervous. She didn’t know what to say to the kids about last night’s battle. So she cooked up a storm. She made Swedish pancakes for the first time.

It didn’t help. The kids had closed ranks against Evelyn. They ate breakfast in sullen silence and left for school early without giving out any hugs or kisses. Ned was horribly upset. He was convinced his father was never coming back. He started to think of ways to get back at Evelyn as he marched over to the bus stop. School was bad enough without all this…. stuff to deal with.

After thinking long and hard into the night, Evelyn had decided to go the psychiatric appointment Karl had made for her. She dressed carefully for the appointment. She didn’t know what she was afraid of. Everyone sees a shrink these days she told herself as she slashed on her red lipstick. She checked herself in the hallway mirror and headed out. It’s no big deal she told herself as she walked out the door.

It was a nasty February day. The sky was sullen and spitting sleet and freezing rain when Evelyn left the house. She was buffeted by the wind as she walked. Her umbrella was turned inside out and became useless. She was drenched and chilled to the bone by the time she got to the station. She missed her train and had to wait a half hour before the next one. She was tempted to turn around and go home. Oh, what the hell, she decided, in for a penny, in for a pound. She found a bench and settled down to wait pulling a book out of her purse and lighting a cigarette. She inhaled deeply enjoying the bite of the acrid tobacco in her lungs.

Two cigarettes later the train huffed into the station. There were few passengers this time of day. The morning rush was over. A couple of businessman stragglers heading in to Philadelphia, another house wife and Evelyn boarded the train. Evelyn was the only passenger in the smoking car for the first three stops. The conductor came through to punch her ticket as the train pulled out of the station. Evelyn knew the station stops by heart and amused herself listening to the conductor’s chatter. She couldn’t help smiling when they called out the stops with a theatrical flair. DEV-on next, DEV-on, always with the same emphasis

The train filled up a bit as it made its way along the main line. Evelyn got lost in her book and almost missed her stop.

The doctor’s office was a short walk from the Strafford station. Evelyn trudged through the dirty weather worrying about what she’d have to talk about with the psychiatrist. But after all her worry, she found the doctor insightful and easy to talk to. Afterwards she felt better than she had in a long time. Her inner self got a laugh out of the fact people pay doctors just to get a sympathetic ear. But she was okay with the idea of therapy. She’d do Karl’s bidding for the time being – anything to get the hurt looks off the kids faces.

Karl meanwhile had spent a miserable night in a flea bag motel. He’d forgotten to eat and ended up in diabetic shock. It took him a while to get stabilized. The mattress was lumpy and the girl next door had one loud visitor after another throughout the night. He gave up on trying to sleep at 5:00 a.m. and found a tacky little diner where he had under cooked eggs sunny side up. But the coffee was good and the waitress was a pretty, young flirt who made it her task to cheer Karl up.

After breakfast he went on to work. The day passed swiftly. Hurst’s secretary called him after lunch to set up a 4:30 appointment. Karl dreaded going in to Hurst to ask for a raise after a sleepless night, but he made the best of it. He drafted a paper describing his current project and the breakthrough he thought he was close to. That’ll give him something to think about he said to himself as he combed his hair and straightened his tie.

Karl was nervous as he traipsed through the halls of the plant to Hurst’s office. He’d met Hurst on a number of social occasions like the annual family picnics, but they hadn’t mixed much at work. Hurst was a company man with only a little technical knowledge in Karl’s field. He was a large, tough looking fellow, with short cropped steel grey hair and flint-like eyes. He’d been in the Air Force for years before moving into the private sector. He was the company’s liaison on all of the large Department of Defense contracts. He may not have been strong on technology but he knew procurement and how to utilize resources – such as Karl Hansen. Kelly had given Hurst a heads up on why Karl wanted the meeting.

Hurst knew the company had patented two of Karl’s ideas. He was aware that Karl was rock steady on research and development and had an occasional flash of genius. So he was prepared to meet reasonable requests from Karl. The question was whether Karl should be brought in on the big picture. If the company was to invest in Karl they’d want to give him more sensitive and demanding projects. According to Philips, Karl was up to the task. They’d have to upgrade his security clearance.

Karl’s head was spinning by the time he walked out of Hurst’s office. He’d gotten the raise he wanted and a whole lot more responsibility to go with it. Karl had learned the company was working hand in glove with the Department of Defense on myriad fields including aerospace, defense and computer technologies. The sky was the limit, literally! There were conditions attached to the new responsibilities. Complete secrecy. Nothing Karl worked on was to leave the plant. Karl was told to start working on an advanced degree in physics – paid for by the company. Karl was on cloud nine. He completely forgot about his troubles on the home front.

Evelyn was astonished to see Karl pull into the driveway with a big smile on his face. She’d been wondering if he was even going to come home. Kristen also had been waiting anxiously for Karl’s arrival. When she ran out to great him he pulled her into his arms and swung her around like an airplane. She was giggling helplessly by the time he set her down.

He looked at Evelyn who was smiling questioningly. He felt all the bitterness and anger from the night before well up, but it evaporated in an instant.

“No lawyer?” Evelyn asked with some trepidation.

“No. One night in a flea bag motel without my family is enough for the time being. Did you see the doctor today?”

“Yes,” Evelyn replied firmly. “It went okay. I think I could stand seeing him regularly”

“Good.”

“So what’s gotten into you?” Evelyn asked curiously. “I didn’t expect to see you here tonight, much less with a big smile on you face.”

“I talked to Hurst today.”

“The Vice President? What about?”

“Well, with all the upheaval at home I started to worry about money I even thought about changing jobs. You know the company’s pay scale is on the low end. But Jim suggested I see Hurst first. I’ve been making a lot of headway on my project – it’s all new stuff – and I’d hate to leave it so I took Jim’s advice.”

“And…?”

“Well, I got a lot more than I expected.”

“What? You’re kidding me. You got a raise? Just like that? Christ, that’s terrific! How much?”

Karl grinned. “Enough.”

“Oh, come on. Tell me,” Evelyn urged excitedly.

“Five thousand more. And a lot of new responsibility.”

“Not management. You always hated the idea of management.” Evelyn sounded concerned.

“No,” Karl said happily. Research and development. All very hush, hush. And we won’t have to move to Dayton. Thank God that albatross is off from around my neck.

Evelyn was overwhelmed. “Jesus, I don’t believe it. Just like that and you’re on the fast track with the company.”

“Hell, I don’t care about status. But there’s more. They’re sending me back to school, at their expense.”

“School? Where? What for?”

“They want me to get an advanced degree in physics. They’re working on some things…. Well, I don’t mind telling you, they’re out of this world. I guess I’ll check out the programs at Villanova and the University of Pennsylvania to see which is best. It’s gonna mean a lot of night classes and time with my head in the books. I hope it doesn’t take too much away from you and the kids. Are you alright with this?”

“Alright? Hell, I think it’s fabulous. I always knew you had a lot on the ball.”

“With the extra money coming in you could quit work, you know,” Karl offered.

“Are you kidding? Working keeps me sane. I’m sorry, Karl, I’m not cut out to be a full time house wife. I love the kids and all, but if I don’t get out of the house I go nuts. I have to work.”

“I just thought I’d check.”

“Maybe with the extra money we could hire a cleaning woman to come in once a week. That’d help.”

“I don’t see why not.”

Life improved dramatically for the Hansens. The next four years were halcyon years. Karl’s work was fascinating to him. School was a breeze. Karl ended up with a doctorate in physics in no time flat. Karl found himself thinking about and working on his projects at night and on the weekends. He started to keep notes and designs in his basement workshop.

One night in 1965, early in the Christmas season, Karl was puzzling over a design problem in his mind. “Damn it” he said, “it just doesn’t work,” Evelyn was setting the table for dinner.

“What doesn’t work?” she asked.

Karl started to describe the problem.

“Karl,” Evelyn said, “you’re not looking at the whole picture. Look. If you do this, and then that…..”

Karl and Evelyn were astonished. Evelyn had an innate talent for design. After that Karl often brought work home and Karl and Evelyn would set it out on the dining room table to puzzle over after dinner. Of course Karl never told anyone what he was doing. You had to get all kinds of clearances from the company to take design work off campus. Karl was getting a reputation as the company’s number one problem solver.

For a while Evelyn was relatively happy with things the way they were. She had her part time job. The kids were growing up and didn’t need as much of her time, and things were okay with Karl. But still, there was an emptiness. Something was missing. If only…. and her mind would drift back to the torrid, hot days and nights she spent making love with Max. Then she’d get a craving for beer and the weekend would be a total loss.

Karl could tell by the look in her eye when Evelyn was getting ready for a lost weekend. He hated every minute of those days when Evelyn would sit in her kitchen chair chain smoking, drinking beer after beer until she had an ugly, angry load on.

Then Evelyn would pick her fight. There was always something for her to hate and rant and rave about. Politics, the kids, the schools, his work, her work, their friends, whatever. Karl tried to stay out of it but Evelyn had a knack at knowing just what button to push, when. She saved them up, Karl swore she saved up her barbs and her zingers all week and released them just when they would do the most damage.