All Comments on 'No Questions Asked'

She said there would be no sex with any man. But what about women or men? This really only needed to be a 1 part story. No reason to drag it out.

I've read this authors story "Splashdown" - if you look in a dictionary for the definition of repetitive the word "Splashdown" comes up. Unfortunately it appears this story is going in the direction. I'm giving this chapter a 4* - if the next chapter doesn't make some headway I'll regrade this chapter. This chapter is very interesting.

Not a complete story. This is like click bait, a juicy entre without the trimmings that make it a whole story, like the conclusion.

OH , sorry for last comment, I didnt realize you were the "Splashdown" guy. I will wait until this is complete and scored by the commentariat before reading. I dont want to slog thru a bunch of introspective ruminations and husband and wife going over the same point 10 tiimes before a unsatisfactory conclusion.

So fucking drawn our, really???

This stupid man is just so unreal in his demeanour.

Reality would’ve found her kicked out and her family informed why she’s sitting on the curb.

See a layer in the morning, have a separation drawn up, kick her out, tell her you go on your trip, don’t come back

No score yet.

I think he should just get the divorce papers started!

Hot diggity dog! A REAL(istic) story on LW! Your writing is neat, compact, readable, and authentic. I find that I'm NOT skimming, reading past the fields of junk littering most LW stories. Instead, I'm savoring your realistic writing, your dialogue that is infused with feeling, understanding, and ambiance. Not the usual "transcript" dialogue, so endemic to Lit/LW. For example, at least 80% of the writers on this site would elaborate on his arrival-home drink. They would name the brand, tell us its age and color, go into detail about why he drinks it, where the liquor is distilled, how much it costs, etc. That would, of course, be followed by a detailed back story, full-bio, physical descriptions, and painful details of classic cars, guitars, firearms, and other detritus unrelated to the scene. All of that serves to kill any nascent story and force the reader to skim, skip, and lose interest. You, on the other hand, stay on topic, on point, and on subject--Thank you for that!

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This is good writing because most writers would include the internal dialogue in Dave's verbalization. But who really speaks like that, right? This is much more authentic: ["And you can't share that with me?" Dave asked, amazed she could think her admission put any worry to rest.]

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Most writers forget that 90% of communication is non-verbal: the looks, the eye contact, the body language, the tone, the inflection, the meter, the facial expressions. All of your action beats and dialogue tags are superb. For example: [Bea's eyebrows knit a trail of sorrow...] and "[Bea fiddled with her hands looking longingly out the window at the peaceful sunshine. She turned back towards her beloved husband, "Dave...] and [Her lips pulled back into a grimace before she rushed out, "Baby...] That's over just two paragraphs, and like seasoning to a casserole, the dialogue would be flat and meaningless without them. This is great writing: [Bea looked down into the coffee, as black and foreboding as her mind had become, now she'd redecorated their marriage in the same motif.] Sets the mood and wraps up the scene! The analogy between the meal and the marriage was more good writing--simple yet effective.

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You also "deep-dive" into the logical and realistic questions any man would have. Most of the writing in stories like this centers on the husband's feelings, anger, angst, and thirst for vengeance. Dave didn't become the angry, childish man that we see in most of these stories. He didn't default to the LW standard of anger, puking, running away, getting drunk, or acting out. This describes it to a tee: [She was impressed with his efficiency, and there being no insult or verbal backhand attached in his answer.]

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Refreshingly, there seems to be a trend of serious writers attacking the staid, oft-repeated Loving Wives "standards," which, on the surface, are silly, unrealistic, and make no sense unless the wife was under threat of blackmail, Looney Tunes or zapped by the men from Mars. Sadly, a sub-culture of invested readers/commenters has embraced these stories and demands more and bloodier BTB-fests (think Roman games, circa 100 A.D.). It's nice to read these from a realistic (or as realistic as possible) standpoint.

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Critiques: As mentioned below, you are tending towards repetition. It's not the standard repeating ad nauseum we normally see here, but you're being a little bit over-thorough. Some of this can be handled with exposition, and this is where you need an editor. My editor is merciless and turns my mere brilliance into sheer brilliance of brevity (LULZ). The other suggestion is when quoting within a dialogue quotation, always use the single quotes: "Carmine told me specifically, 'Forget the gun, and get the cannoli!'" Your writing is excellent but can use some polish, as can we all.

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Also, The Bear likes it, so what else do you need? Kudos and Huzzah, OP!

Is anyone Not aware that she is going off to meet a lesbian lover? Other that her husband, of course.

I do NOT like the way this is headed, but it _is_ LW after all.

A much better story than the usual "I'm going to Vanuatu with Thurston Howell IV and that's that!"

5-stars

A really good start, but I don't understand why he did not ask just one question and nothing else. Is this just a weekend for you alone for some quite time and you do not plan to meet anyone else and will not meet or do anything with a stranger and is just me time. I would say it that is it. I am fine with it anything else and we will be getting a divorce and let know that before she leaves on Friday.

This already feels like a complete rip off of a similar story and that one had the wife wanting a secret rendevous with some woman,,,,,i hope you are not going to rip that off

Redundant at times, could use some trimming down the word count, but a good start. Assuming there will be another installment.

"maedhros21about 1 hour ago

This already feels like a complete rip off of a similar story and that one had the wife wanting a secret rendezvous with some woman,,,,,i hope you are not going to rip that off" I was thinking the same thing

Started off interesting., but went downhill fast.

She claims to love him, but wants him to buy a pig in a poke (look up the phrase if you don't know it). That is not anything someone who loves their spouse would ever do.

"I do NOT want another man. There is no man involved in this. None to any degree. It's not about that. At all!"

Notice she did NOT say "a woman," or "two men," or "an orangutan."

The resolution is easy:

"One simple question, my supposedly 'loving' wife, and an immediate YES or NO answer is required. Are you ready ? Is ANYTHING you are going to do of a SEXUAL nature ? "

Any hesitation and it's over. Anything else is stupid infatuation. Actually, it's probably already over, since I for one would never forget what she put me through.

I believe I read a story years ago with this exact setup. I hope the reason she wants to leave changes.

This reminds me of a story, very siimilar where the wife goes to meet her girl friend to see if they still had feelings for each other.

I would have asked her if she could put the trip off until I could get divorce documents prepared?

Another story that was not listed as a "Part 1" of a multi-part story. What a waste of time!! The author didn't even add a "to be continued" at the end. So, is this it?

Please write a sequel !!

Chopped liver.

At first the drama and suspense were compelling and interesting, then it just devolved into two high school lovers arguing about the girl friend going off for a Lost Weekend and the boyfriend wondering just what the girl friend is going to lose, and who's going to be Finding it.

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Its easy to see the husband is being punked, but the real butt of the joke appears to be us, the readers. Its too obvious for the wife to wanna whore around, with a man or a woman, and its somewhere she doesn't mind telling her parents. Its also obvious that there's been no mention of the husband finding out Everything when the wife returns, which is even more likely since her parents know and apparently have orders to tell her husband if he asks. So it could be several things that the wife doesn't want the husband to ever know about. Maybe retrieving some pre-marriage porn videos? Maybe providing some eggs for a friend who can't bear children? Maybe having some genetic screening, that might indicate future health problems, or that the wife and husband are actually genetically related? Donating a kidney, maybe for a child she had before marriage and gave up for adoption?

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Yeah, the "punk line" will be finding out that the big reveal is a big nothing, and the author kept us with bated breath, for nothing. Wow, wonder if I will even read, or care, about whatever might come next? Guess.

Great so far. If it was me I would tell her no, stop talking about it, and when the weekend arrives serve her divorce papers as she is leaving. It will be something to read on the plane. If she doesn't go on her weekend trip she still gets the divorce papers and she can read them at the kitchen table. What she is doing is spitting in her husband's face and he is a fool for even discussing it with her. It is unclear how many years he has invested in this relationship, but however many, it is time to immediately cut any further losses. Good job pressing LW hot buttons, for which you get 5*s.

Lost me from start to finish won't get those lost 30 minutes back every again, a complete waste of space.

As a husband who came home from work one day and found his wife, two daughters ages 2 and 4, half the furniture, and his house guests gone - only to find a goodbye note on the telephone, this is touching parts of me that I thought I had forgotten. It took me a couple of years and a divorce before I finally was able to admit that she had left me for another woman, then another, then another, then... Eventually after changing jobs and moving to where she was to see if it could be changed, I met and married my oldest daughter's first grade teacher. That was 47 years ago and we are aging gracefully. (I read one of the stories you recommended and it was painful also.)

She finally scraped up enough money and is hoping to buy her former pimp's silence. Will it be enough or will she have to get rid of him permanently? Just a thought. There sure is a world of possibilities with this story. Talky yes, but isn't circular arguing usually the case when there is a situation at hand that doesn't really have a satisfactory solution?

If she goes marriage over .if she stays marriage over

R people this dumb? Divorce is only option after question like this.

Nope. Not going to read it. Just going to drop a deuce and keep on going. The comments say this the same redundant crap as before.

TO, Olgreyfoxabout 17 hours ago

Not worth a follow up. No wonder it scored so low. Junk writing.

as if you could do better

As I start this, I'm of course thinking about "The Fourth Man," which I re-read in preparation for reading this story, and I'm assuming it's something similar. Even if it's completely different, to essentially ask permission to do something that you won't say what it is, is ridiculous.

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"I want things to be as they were ten minutes before I started this ridiculous conversation." - Yes, the conversation is ridiculous! If you can't explain to your spouse why you want/need to do something, then you shouldn't do it.

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"It all springs from the one stupid question" - If it's so stupid, then forget about it.

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"I'm telling you I really need to go, but I'm asking your permission: it's your decision." - Then the answer is no unless you tell me EXACTLY what you want to do.

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"Dave what's changed? I still need to go." - She also said she wouldn't go without his permission.

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"Don't you want to talk about it? I'd like to put you more at ease." - How? She won't tell him anything.

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"But I've admitted more than I wanted already." - She hasn't admitted a damn thing!

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"All she had to do was not go." - I don't think that's enough now. He's still going to wonder what she wanted to do, and if she might try it behind his back now. "I think there's a great big festering sore here, and I have to know more about it"

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"Bea was indeed shocked he'd brought it up." - Why? He said they'd talk about it after they ate.

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I know he's trying to test her, but once she failed, he should get some bolt cutters and cut the lock off.

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@Buster2U, I had forgotten "Heroine Addiction," never red "Splashdown," now wondering if I should continue this' As HDK said, bad move not putting CH 1 in the title, worse move not telling us how many chapters there are.

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As BrentJW says, if he lets her go, she's STILL going to have to tell him when she gets back, so why not avoid all the grief and tell him now?

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@Chuck100 "All chapters are already written"

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@lujon2019 Re: Unreliable narrator - This ISN'T Bea's POV: "Bea involuntarily coughed..." Bea would say, "I..." This is 3rd person POV.

@Chuck100

A 3 is the best I can do for an incomplete story. You should have indicated that there would be more to come by adding part 1 to the heading. And if this is it and you are expecting someone else to finish YOUR story I would score your story at one. You should finish the story as you see in your mind. If others have ideas to an alternative ending you can grant permission to do so. Have the courage to put your self out there.

It is an incomplete story as stated by the author at the start of the story. All parts have been written and will be posted daily .

You know that anyone that can go off for a weekend without telling anyone else is single. Have her sign divorce paperwork before she leaves.

Good job getting everyone anticipating part 2. Bring it on.

Ummmm...... It's too hard to read.

The emotional angst is too great and the pace is too slow. It's a great 'Hitchcock' piece, but not sexy!

I know I should go into the next chapter, but I'm sort of turned off if it's the same.

Sorry, this part could have been covered within the 750 word Lit minimum for a submission. It was repetitive and frankly, not very entertaining dialogue between husband and wife.

Nothing happens. He asks, she wont tell. Next day: He wants more answers, she doesnt want to tell. Next day, he wants more answers, she wont tell. On and on. Nothing happens.

This is the longest, most repetitive, most “going nowhere” way of saying “Honey we need to talk” I’ve ever seem. Good God, PLEASE make something HAPPEN. NOW. Thank you!

Tramp comlng !

"This was now officially way, way, worse than she'd ever dreamed possible." Then she's really stupid.

anybody else wonder what the hell part 2 is OR WHERE IT IS ?????

To much dialog weighs down this story. You could rectify it by doing another chapter....3 stars,.

Is there a second chapter?

Intriguing

As soon as she gets to the door to leave, Dave should ask her for two things: the keys to the house and her wedding ring.

Then throw her out, and tell her to never come back. Ever.

She gave him pain, now it's HER turn to receive.

It's time to destroy her, and her world. Since she is intent on destroying his, turnabout is fair play.

Leave nothing but ashes.

It is the "not knowing" that is the worst for the man. Frankly, what the hell is she thinking? Is she that naive, that she would think this was a reasonable request. Personally, I would think the damage, whether she goes or not, is done. How does she not see this? I am on edge waiting to see how this unfolds. I feel like the husband; in the dark and on edge. And if this is how you hoped the reader would react, then you are a f'ind genius. 5 stars

7.1K words that could have been well written in 1K?!

Many of the writers place spoilers in their preambles, so i rarely read them. I should have read this one to save myself the wasted time of reading. If it is a chapter story PLACE IT IN THE TITLE.

They had the same conversation three nights in a row. I vote 1 star, to try and save others from eating their time.

This is the most boring and drawn out story I’ve ever seen. You can skip most of it and miss nothing.

I cannot figure out why you wrote this story. What point were you trying to make ? What message were you trying to deliver ?

Good beginning!

4

Dave can set his mind at ease because there will be no sex with a man just as she truthfully told him. Bea is leaving for a donkey show audition and no sexual contact with either a man or a woman will take place. When she comes home she should, if she is a Lit. reader, use Linda's of February Sucks, immortal lines: "It's still just me, the same old me as always". That will surely make everything right.

This is like Abbot and Costello trying to have sex with one another.

this wife is annoying or mentally ill and the husband keeps delaying. Just say "NO"

To be honest I gave this series 2 stars. The wife causes too much drama and chaos to hope to stay married and in the end the husband concedes to her craziness, then takes her back with no real consequences.

Well structured. Absurd situation that has been explored before, but I like the insights that you are bringing to the dynamic, and hubby is handling it as best as anyone could expect.

Surely she knows she has ripped the foundation of her relationship asunder.

The only way back for her is complete transparency right now, and hope that the revelation of her intent is not enough to burn the rest of his love for her to ashes.

Good writing, enjoying the tension.

To anony 7 hours ago, 'skip most of it and miss nothing'...

That's only the case if you haven't the intelligence to perceive the underlying psychological drama. It's a battle of epic proportions.

I like SaddleTramp, but this story is not something that he could even write. At this stage, there would be gadgets galore, and insight provided by secretly taped communications, with a plan of retribution already coming into action.

Stick with the simple stuff, you'll be ok.

Ditch the Bitch

About her “nature”? She’s obviously thinking she is a lesbian, or maybe bisexual since she loves her husband. Wonder how much fun she’ll have experimenting. No way this doesn’t change her relationship with her husband.

May I have my 10 minutes back, please?

Calling Tx Tall Tales a good writer is like heaping accolades on placing 5th in the Special Olympics.

This first chapter is two pages of mind fuck, basically emotional torture on the husband she supposedly loves (which by now we know isn't the case.) I can only see this going the pile of shit RAAC way.....

Please add lots more words …. Not nearly enough…. And lots of repetitive points. —-I’m not going to tell you. Please tell me. No I’m not going to tell you. Please tell me. No… OK, …. Geez.

Oh this is so good, what a cliffhanger, so we’ll thought out and written can’t wait to read part 2

Got to read Part 2.. Thanks for your writing.

He should just say NO!!!!

The intro was quite lengthy though it did give a bit of heightening the drama --

but really I personally think this 2 page chap. 1 story could have just been a short one pager

if Dave didn't play with the game Bea wants him to play.

He's treating the whole thing with kid's glove.

Me thinks why don't he just go for a knockdown and this will be done with.

Now we have some following chapters to deal with

I just skip too much in the story but seems I didn't miss anything.

I hope the following chapters will truly be better than this.

Calling TX Tall Tales a good writer, shows just how bad your writing is, he is NOT now, nor will ever be a good writer, he NEVER finishes ANYTHING he writes.

As for this overly repeatitive, dragged out boring rubbish? 1*

And interesting story that I found was incomplete, as not finished. There’s no indication if she decided to go or not, or the definite answer from her husband, even though one can readily bet on it.

She asked her husband to let it go on the trip without asking any questions or giving any real answers. She continually denies any type of real response, but the husband stays nice and calm. This seems to be totally on reasonable and unbelievable. I can’t imagine any man at all, after the first talking or two, not saying to his wife, that without answers, he refuses, any type of permission. That goes doubly with her luggage and her not wanting to show him what is packed; evidently, is she opened up that luggage, there would be things that shows that she’s having an affair but doesn’t want her husband to know. That’s the only conceivable reason for not only that, but all her actions that come to mind.

That he remains so calm without raising his voice at all, or just leaving for a motel for a few days, to me, is absurd. The other way is that he doesn’t tell her to leave and go to a parents . Finally the third option is for him to see a lawyer to start divorce proceedings and hopes for at least to shake her up. He does nothing but offer to bring her out to dinner if she’s so wishes and try to calm things down.

Would’ve been nice to know what she finally did, and as I stated earlier, this was an unfinished story, very, unfortunately. Almost like the story was. For that, instead of a possibility of 4stars, I have to give it 2. Bob

This is a dumb story 2 stars from Xluckylee

This to me is not worth rating. "0"

If I were Dave, I would have hired a private eye to follow Bea and if she did anything wrong, her ass and everything she owns would be at her parents house when she got back. Soon to be visited by a person with divorce papers.

Looks like Dave has a cheating whore on his hands. Anytime a wife asks for a Hall Pass she just declared herself a cheating slut. Dump the whore and find a good woman is the only option left for him. If everything was innocent she would and could tell him everything.

Zero is too high for this. Ridiculously long due to extreme repetitiveness of the dialogue. Read page 1 on pt 1 and last page of pt 3.

This is s fun set up. Very mysterious, and oh so clever. Haven't read the second one so off to do just that.

"Ok, here is the deal. You open that fucking suitcase, right fucking now. Or move the fuck out right now. You leave on a secret vacation, LOL, don't bother to come back. You won't be welcome back. I have my lawyer already working on divorce papers and I will serve you as soon you return. So FUCK YOU BITCH! Your SECRET rendezvous is more important than our marriage, DON'T BOTHER COMING BACK you cheating fucking whore! Now get the keys and open that fucking suitcase or I will rip it apart. right fucking now!" he said. 5 stars

Stupid narcissistic bitch, like all your other married female characters. Sissy wimp husband same as all your other as well. Bitch slap her and kick her cheating skank ass to the curb.

I'm gonna read the next chapter just to see how this gets saved.... Or if it does. I can't see anything that would make sense to tell him but not tell him why.... I guess some it's to someone... Still, the anymore who said very mysterious.... Yeah, but it's a forced mysterious. There no logical reason for being so indirect and non forthcoming....

Is there was any clearer way of saying "I want to find out if I like something better but I want you to be ok with it just in case I decide I don't"?

It would have been less disturbing to hear that she'd had an affair with a guy with a massive knob just to see what it was like, but now it's over and I hope you can forgive me. Tbh, she'd have had a better chance at reconciliation, because at least with the latter she's being honest both with what she did but also with how she views the future.

The way this story is written it gives the impression that she's off if it all works out ok, but otherwise you're a nice fallback position.

So this all happened in a home for those with special needs?

At this point the author is just pissing me off. No one is that stupid that they think a complete lack of transparency is going to help with a request to go on a break.

First off, every single married, engaged, partner or single person is allowed to go on holiday on their own, to do things on their own. Especially if it's just for a weekend. That we have this simpleton asking for something that clearly not, I'm going on a city break/pottery retreat etc etc., on my own, it's obvious that not only is it something that the MC won't like but will also break the relationship....not only that but there is also a clear suggestion that if it all works out well for her, she will leave the relationship.

If she'd just said, I'm going on a weekend break to have a gang bang, most people would have actually reacted better than the way she decided to present it. By better, I don't mean accepted it, I mean they wouldn't have wanted to slap the stupidity off of her as well.

I just hope that it all turns out to be a religious retreat, at least then he can just divorce her for being insane and doesn't have to live with the disrespect etc.

Just a long drawn out load of fucking rubbish

Same shit different day! I wrote a comment stating that 'Who the hell was her ex' was a dreadful failure. This follows that same pathetic trait. Give up now before you get too many hurtful comments, you certainly don't deserve any awards, except raspberries!

Completely obvious that this relationship CLEARLY does NOT have the level of trust between the couple to survive. The fact that she is hiding EVERYTHING from her HUSBAND shows everything that needs to be said. Yet again we have another "Dumb Blonde" idiot trying to convince her husband to let her go, saying "We will be fine" or "This won't change us" blah blah blah.

Spoiler

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All of this is to see if she wants to have sex with women. Nothing is well resolved, and the husband accepts her back with no work on her behalf.

Interesting. Seems most commenters don't understand or see the true nature of this conflict. It comes down to the question of trust. And the husband/man is completely failing. Clearly he is stating "I trust you; but only if you answer all my questions - tell me ("confess") everything first".

That is not trust. That is a master-slave trust. In other words, a complete lack of trust. This is the state whether or not the wife is making an error in judgment. Damned if you do and damned if you don't - a no-win situation.

As an aside, I am convinced the rational approach requires applying the adage "give them enough rope to hang themselves." The dynamics change from divorce because of a lack of faith/trust to divorce only for cause - an actual breach of marital vows. Mere suspicion versus actionable injury - consequences/responsibility for one's own choices, decisions or conduct. Prevention by prohibition versus acting at one's own peril.

stupid story. back and forth. as far as I'm concerned she can go and divorce papers will await her return. end of discussion. 2*

My thought it is worse for a loving wife to go away with or without information. I would think that the easier of a no good way to make this request would be details, and not leaving to go anywhere shrouded in a free-fall of secrets. For me the Sir and the Master crap would of not been funny, but salt in a open flesh eating wound.

No my opinion just come out with straight forward, "I am attracted to this particular man, and this is what we have done," then give the details. The absolute next without a pause would you come with me do we could experience this one time one thing.

This alternative direct out with it way seems to be a clearer, more honest, and a more respectful aproach as a desire to keep it within the marriage.

The way she's plotted with someone else outside of her marriage is already a betrayal that would of left me with only one fast answer of whether you change your mind to do this or not, my response is I have already begun filing for divorce today. It no longer matters what the two or the dozen of you plot and desire, its game over!

I kept thinking, "is she nuts?" Any sane person can see you don't ask someone something like that. There's trust and then there's blind faith. She is asking for the latter, which is unreasonable at best, especially for the magnitude of the request. Several days away and I can't tell you anything about it? Come on get real. That will always only appear suspicious even to the most trusting of people.

If this turns out to be one huge exercise in trying to prove trust or whatever, I'll be disappointed. If it's a cover for a little getaway with a lover or something like that, even more so. I just can't think of anything reasonable that would be justified by such a circus as the one portrayed here.

A much too long (even at 2pgs!) story, made long by repetitive conversations with him asking if she'd tell him the plans for her vacation, & her saying she won't/ can't/ don't want to. Cut to the chase & stop the shit. Tell me about the vacation - why, with whom, & where, or either he leaves or she's kicked out, with divorce papers at least prepared.

I found myself reading the same things over & over, so 2 stars. Bob

1 star - this writer has a tendency to abuse his readers by flogging every topic far beyond anything that is reasonable.

I like the approach and the building drama. Not everything needs to be condensed down to the least number of words. This approach allows the emotions to develop and be expressed.

This was really really well done. Yes confusing but that is the situation she was well constructed and converted by the author. More than five stars if it were possible.

I love the way the drama developed. 5 stars and favorite.

Now to see what happens in Pt. 2

So far, this is a real crapfest.

But, I will read Part 2 simply because I'm curious about how this train-wreck of a story ends.

I gave this part a 1 out of 5

DEFINITELY, irrevocably, immutably and indisputably scoring a ONE for this episode. So even if by some miraculous bunny-rabbit pulling out of an empty top-hat malarchy the next part were to entirely redeem itself with a resounding FIVE stars, the combined aggregate of the 1 + 5 would of course yield 6 over the TWO parts, i.e. THREE STARS would be the MAXIMUM possible yield now OVERALL, so no question of a "Hall-of-fame" listing!

Good plot but waay too long or too many words. I would have had divorce papers already for Friday morning. Or, taken a knife to open the suitcase and see what's inside.