All Comments on 'No Questions Asked'

Wow, lots of words.

Bit too repetitive for me.

I think he is being far too patient and understanding. Go up and get the case then burst it open.

He should have moved out after the first night and stayed out until she explained herself. I imagine another woman is involved. Also, the story hasn't moved anywhere since the first night and is longer than it needs to be. Still enjoyable but please finish in part 2 unless it moves in a different direction

This guy is a saint. My response the minute she brought it up and finished her explanation would have been, No, Hell No and I mean No. I love you but if you bring it up again or leave on this trip we're done.

sounds like this marriage is doomed

Good take on this view....am curious to see where it ends

Not worth a follow up. No wonder it scored so low. Junk writing.

hmmmm, i'm looking for the twist, is she going with a woman, is it an intellectual thing, is there a health issue or a promise she made to someone before they met.

I admit im interested to see where this goes...

Yes, I know it's a pretty far-fetched scenario, but I don't understand the stupidity of certain passages or certain characters.

To think or say that "nothing will change or everything will be as it was before" is an enormous idiocy.

The request itself is completely out of character, outside the normal framework, and is already a change even before the discussion or the act itself.

Whilst I agree that there is too much repetition, I find the story line interesting and I certainly hope it is to be continued. The situation sounds much more believable than the stories where the wife simply announces that she is going out with another man.

There is every indication that she wants to complete some past desire to be with a woman (her words say as much) and yet her highly analytical husband hasn’t really approached that idea at all. Her expectations were that he would be unaccepting from the beginning, so why she truly believe that his love for her would miraculously gain her blind approval? She seriously needs some time with psychiatrist.

I think this is an excellent piece of writing. Yes, repetition but that is adding to the tension and you get top marks from me. Others say the husband should do this or that, but we have no right to interfere with your characters. We don’t have to like them but they are your creations. I am pleased the chapters are ready for sequential release but it would be a courtesy to say how many there are.

I know, or hope this story is not real but if my wife acted this way not giving me any information about where she is going or seeing or talking to or what she plans on doing then our marriage would be in serious trouble. The trust would be broken and if my wife went on this "find herself" weekend the marriage would be on life support.

So here's the story so far: she asked for a weekend away. Doesn't tell him anything about it, expecting him to just say yes. Thats a definite NO from anybody. She's already packed a bag leaving it where he can see it-basically telling him to go f...off and die. So Saturday as she's leaving without his approval she gets served divorce papers and told to stay away. Lets see if this happens this way...or if the whole truth comes out.

The challenge in this scenario is to come up with a secret rendezvous that it is justifiable to refuse to discuss with your spouse. This of course assumes the secret is not infidelity (e.g. The Fourth Man). But if it is not a tryst, why does it need to be kept secret? If, for example, she was planning something for her husband (the surprise party trope) then there's no reason to torture him ahead of time...people surprise their spouses all the time without doing so. A sick family member or friend? Nah, you tell your spouse.

Health concerns? Found out she might be related to her husband? Same...tell your spouse. I'll be interested to see the 'reveal' but truly cannot think of a justification for demanding a blind getaway.

The premise is interesting, maybe far fetched. I guess we'll see. D

You have a chapter story but don't number it. That isn't the way to win fans. You had a couple pages of innuendo and beating around the bush, but no realistic dialogue or reactions. She is actually telling him she doesn't trust him to know what she wants to do, He simply hems and haws around the issue. Seldom would a wife be so obtuse and even less often would a husband play the 20 questions game with her. I cannot imagine a situation where a couple would talk so much and say so little.

Well done.

I have a sinking suspicion that this isn’t numbered or called chapter one for a reason. After that build up, what reason could there possibly be for Bea to be this psychotic if it’s not an affair?

You’re either a brilliant writer with an ingenious narrative payoff… or you wrote yourself into a corner and don’t know how to get out, so you’re falling back on the old “let the reader decide” canard. Like I said, I’m afraid I know the answer.

The next chapters will hopefully be damn good after this long build-up.

I think she's planning on meeting with another woman, be interesting to see where this goes.

Mr. Chopped wrote "Splashdown" and the other Long Story about seducing the neighbor to ridicule him enough to drive him out of the neighborhood. So, with that history, I have a real respect for Mr. Chopped's stories. The Tension is thick as butter. How can anyone think a spouse could "ask" for a "hall pass" without giving any details or reasons? Any Normal Hubby's position would be an automatic "NO!" or even "HELL NO!" This story is just another example and displays that Mr., Chopped Liver is a true "Word Smith" and a MASTER storyteller. How do you come up with these ideas? My thoughts are that the wife is going to be doing something that she doesn't want Hubby to KNOW about, and that is why she is asking for the "Hall Pass" without giving any explanations. Any normal Hubby's answer would be "HELL NO!" without any explanations. So why should Hubby answer anything different? LOL Open that suitcase, when it is filled with naughty underwear, and get a divorce started!

Obviously this trip is to "reconnect" with an old boyfriend. She probably made a promise in high school to share herself with an old BF and she wants to fulfill in now. Thanks, Buster2U 10 stars

What HDK wrote!

Interesting. Perplexing. How can she NOT see that she damaged his trust in her forevermore? He restrained himself by not saying there’s already a huge red flag. I think his answer ought to be that the choice is hers alone - and that he won’t answer any more questions. Then pack his own bag for Thursday night, lock it, and not return before Saturday- leaving his phone powered off.

This is very well written. I hate however, that the author has artificially broken this into very small chapters. This seems to be a cheap way to build more suspense and this writer is good enough they don’t need it. Not to mention they then tempted fate by saying all chapters are complete and would be posted on consecutive days unless “something” happens. Given past experiences on Lit, I’d say the odds of “something” happening are now exceptionally high. If your story is complete, just post the whole thing. I have no idea where this idiocy of breaking complete stories into small pieces came from but I hope it stops soon. Some of the best authors on the site have posted 20 page or more chapters/stories . (See BurntRedstone, HardDaysKnight, Tefler, Qhml1, Todd172, BlackRandi1958, saddletramp1956, dtiverson, Ahazura, Lien Geller, ChloeTzang, etc.). That’s just off the top of my head, If I took a few minutes I could probably come up with a dozen more easily. These master story tellers don’t need to break up their stories into little pieces, so why do you?

She didn’t say sex wasn’t involved did she? She just said another man wasn’t involved. I think she meeting a woman.

Well your writing style is consistent, I'll give you that. Interesting premise, and then way too much dialogue. You give us two pages of setup and no payoff or at least a hint of where this is going. Thanks for sharing - gb

uggg you should have just FTDS all in one!!! If i was the husband i would have thrown her ass out the first night!!

Yes, I fear the reveal will not be worth the agony to get there! So she is off to Anchorage to visit a dominatrix who specializes in pain management and humiliation who does amazing things with Corgis or is it Chihuahuas? I am guessing the exploration is beyond the pail, but you have painted the husband as so rational and balanced (something she must know about him from years of living together), that it is hard to know what activity she wants to undertake that would flip his wig (apart from the obvious) . So another obsessive compulsive circling another obsessive compulsive in a decaying orbit? Sounds like Splashdown… if so, I hope we get to the heart of the matter more quickly this time; fingers crossed.

I don't think she's entered in a checkers tournament.

Honey, i have a huge secret i refuse to tell you and if you don't blindly allow me to do what i want, you're the bad guy anyway.

Is just rewording the cliche'd, " If you love me you'll let me do what i want,

no quotations asked. "

Secrets are a wedge that can't be healed. Her handling it the way she did is a manipulative hame with no good outcome.

This ended up being irritating and way too wordy.

Ha! No questions* asked.

Sorry. I obviously didn't reread my own comment.

An interesting setup but I'll defer judgement until we see how it turns out - could be fascinating, or run into the sand.

Another one you're going to drag out with endless dialog. The hook is in. Yes, I want to know why she needs the weekend, but I hope with this one, you get to the point

sooner than later.

I would have told her to go and then had the divorce papers waiting for her when she returned

I’m with Des

This story is very similar to one I read some time ago. I truly hope that this author isn't going to go the way that story went. The previous story was about a woman who wanted time away from her husband but couldn't tell anything about her trip. That story had the same buildup. In the end, it turned out that the wife had been in a very intense lesbian relationship in college, but the couple broke up. Then the ex-girlfriend came back to town, and the wife wanted to see if there was anything left in their old relationship. In the end, the wife decides that she doesn't have any feelings for the ex-girlfriend and returns to her husband. He is happy and takes her back. To me, that was no different than a wife wanting to go out on a date with her boss because she's attracted to him. It's cheating anyway you look at it.

So, your unique take on this type of story is to leave it unfinished? I think it’s better to indicate a story has multiple parts in the title and not just your introduction. You did not convince me that this woman loves or respects her husband as much as she claims. That being said, I don’t believe this premise makes sense.

Other than the dialogue being very wordy, and even the MC admits more than patient. Not a bad start. Though Bea already told the husband what she was doing. She said NO OTHER MAN was involved which means she wants to explore a woman. Could be wrong but that's my prediction

She is not the sharpest knife in the drawer

Interesting, I’m sure I would have lost all patience if my wife was being so vague. Maybe it’s an abortion or a breast implant or she’s going to pick up a fully restored vintage car. The point is, a surprise is not worth the anguish she’s caused. He is forced to believe she is “protecting” him from knowledge she knows will hurt him, that’s not okay.

I hope you don't intend to drag out this story with unending questions and non-answers from these two. The wife doesn't seem to think too far ahead and foolishly thinks her husband will just say "Oh sure honey go off for the weekend". Too much trust is expected with no reason to give it.

Great story start, one comment I have is the discussions and the dialogue are too long winded for easy reading. Overall I give this a 5*

Much too wordy in your dialog. It is almost stilted using phrases and words normal do not use. Do YOU speak like that in normal conversation? And you gave no indication of anything about their relationship in the conversation. Only that she 'loves him' an wants to be with him forever after this weekend away. As part of their conversation you could have included if they'd been married for 5 years and thinking of having kids. Or been married for 25 and the kids are out of the house. Makes a big difference.

And she has already told her parents she is traveling? How is that not a red flag when she does not want to answer his questions or show what is packed in that suitcase. He has not dropped the one bomb back in her lap. "If i don't know, I will likely divorce you. Whether you go or not, I will never be able to trust you again." I hope to see the next chapter soon. Only 2 pages for this one. Please do not draw this out.

Good story!!!

mmmm how many of you/us would not just break the luggage padlock and see what it is inside...?

No another man... what about another men? .... woman or exgirlfriend definetely fits in...

Send part 2 soon hahahahahaha

Grateful the author has stayed away from his normal MO of making chapters way too long with way to much repetitious dialogue.

I'm like Dave, at this point I don't see how there's a plausible and yet still innocent explanation for what Bea is asking. I'm curious to see though. This could end up being a home run of a story if Bea goes through with her weekend and once she comes home she confesses fully to something weird but, completely acceptable within the boundaries of a faithful marriage.

At this point my suspicion is she's going off to explore whether she likes having sex with women.

Did she say "another man was not involved" or that she was "not involved with another man" and she loved her husband and wanted to keep him and grow old with him? I could not find that part skimming back through the story. The word 'involved' can take on many meanings. Especially when you consider the cadgy over-spoken dialog.

She did say she needed to check out her 'own nature' which hints at it being with a woman.

I like the story,, but I honestly don't know why. So, at best, I will give the story 4 stars and hope that my gut is right.

Let's assume she is bicurious, don't know what else it could be, then why the cat and mouse with her husband? Anyway you look at it, there is going to have to be a discussion about it when she returns, why not before she leaves? No way she can promise everything will be the same when she returns. Even if she decides she is not, there is no way to pretend the weekend didn't happen. If he pretends to ignore it, that would mean their marriage wasn't important.

I do hope you finish with at least one more to not leave us hanging.

Good story as usual but your husbands always seem to leave a bad taste in my mouth. Mostly because they're personalities are 180° different from mine. If my wife presented this idiot idea to me her and her travel suitcase would quickly find themselves sitting out in the yard waiting for a ride.

What about hiring a PI...?

A 3 is the best I can do for an incomplete story. You should have indicated that there would be more to come by adding part 1 to the heading. And if this is it and you are expecting someone else to finish YOUR story I would score your story at one. You should finish the story as you see in your mind. If others have ideas to an alternative ending you can grant permission to do so. Have the courage to put your self out there.

This is very much like the fourth man. Let's see if you have a new twist for it. Please don't drag it out too long. The fourth man dragged.

Wow - What a great start... 5*

Intriguing approach, but your back to your old stomping ground of meaningless dialogue and circular arguments between characters. Several days into the trip discussion and the husband just lets the bullshit continue to run out of her mouth? No checking her computer, phone, or anything else? Some writers would be playing the other side like he already knows and wants her to be the one to tank their marriage so he’s free, but you won’t do that. You’ll gives multiple chapters of revolving arguments/dialogue with no resolution. Credit to your general writing ability that I’ll read everything knowing it’ll make my head hurt. LOL! Please try to keep the plot lines more succinct and don’t create characters that only exist with unicorns. 3.8*

This could have been handled in one sentence after the first request … “I can’t agree to anything that I don’t know what I’m agreeing too”, and then walk away. 3*

Please, finish it. More. I love it. The Bear loves it. 4 stars., cause it's not done yet.

The BEAR

An interesting story, but you are falling into your tendency toward redundancy. With the right editor, you could be one of the best writers on the site.

A Five ***** from me, considering it's promised to be only the start. I know I'm not as sharp as most of those commenting but where they saw weakness in the story I saw teasing the reader into keep turning the pages (to borrow a phrase from pre-digital days).

Looking forward to the next chapter and am now going to read some of your other work. CD

I think that if I were the husband, my response would be along the lines of: I don't control you. I neither give nor deny permission. It is all on you. Your actions have already stressed our marriage, a development that you anticipated. If you go through with your weekend, I cannot predict what will happen, but it may break our marriage. I may forgive you, but that does not mean that I will be able to continue the marriage. I may not be here when you return. I may take my own vacation from the marriage. Let me know if you call it off.

I found myself skimming the story at several points. BTW, that's never a good sign. Yes, it's a trope story, but the story starts out w/ some good ideas that I thought made the story interesting. In fact, I still want to see where this goes, so kudos to you on that. Still, a short story should not need to be skimmed. That means you are belaboring the point. We get it. She doesn't want to tell him. We got that in the first paragraph. Continuing to write about that helps reinforce that idea, but only to a point. You went waaaay past that point. This reminds me of another writer on the site that always seemed to have good ideas that the writer ruined by dragging the story out, "interminably" is the adjective that comes to mind.

Sorry, I need to add, I just realized you are the same writer that has great ideas that are ruined by dragging them out. Please get yourself a human editor, and be prepared for that person to take an axe to your penchant for redundancy. I plead w/ you to consider this as I like not just the plot ideas, but the characterizations and language use, all good. You have enormous potential in my opinion. However, I, and apparently many other commenters, are encouraging you to refine your gifts to make yourself better. I can give you one easy tip myself: No more multi-chapter stories. If you force yourself to tell your tale in one take, that might help w/ your proclivity for hammering story points into the ground, over and over, and time and again, and repeatedly, and persistenly, and ad nauseum, and continuously, and again and again, and time after time, and many times, and endlessly till the reader gets the point. (Now did me repeating the same thing in the last sentence that many times really help make my point, even if I was phrasiing it differently?)

I'm going to guess she will leave, they separate but get back together

Some may say it's a bit long, but I liked it. Will he won't, he agree, will she won't, she go anyway. When you're dealing with people, it rarely works out like it goes in your head.

looking4it, perhaps you didn't read the author's explanation that this is a multi-chapter story and that all the chapters are ready for publication?

I've read all your pages but for one. I'm fine with the setup on this one, but hoping it doesn't turn into another over-verbose melodrama.

I'm looking for better this time around, and not more, "... sound and fury signifying nothing." A high word count and circular conversations do not make an engaging read.

You need an editor who takes Swift's "Modest Proposal" seriously.

It's simple no if we are married then NO have the divorce papers for her when she leaves

Prepare for 8 chapters which could be done in 2.

It seems that this author is simply incapable of learning. He has some skill but the points are made over and over and over again.

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For example this...... "I find out you've been harboring a secret for quite a while. Worse, you've been planning actions you want for yourself; alone. Even worse, you want a vacation from me, perhaps from our marriage, and I fear from your marriage vows. There's some reason driving your request to go away this weekend, but you won't discuss it with me. Today you tell me you think telling someone else part of the secret shows your trust in me. I think it proves just the opposite. Now we have a dinner like THIS. Does this dinner resemble any we've ever had in our marriage? All that and your response is "nothing has changed"?! Are you kidding me?

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That's a great summation of what the problem is from the husband's perspective and a great summation of what the wife is doing which is placing the marriage in jeopardy.

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But for some reason this same piece of dialogue appears three more times in the story. Why? The next day when the husband tries to have another conversation that doesn't go anywhere cuz the wife won't give it out any information… the husband repeats this whole Spiel all over again.

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Same thing with the suitcase. We get it-- the wife has packed a suitcase …she put it out in the open to humiliate her husband ….she has the keys locked away so he can't open it.

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you don't need to say that 3 more times

Well that was the same thing said over and over and over again. I can't believe that he would have any trust left in him for his wife. We don't know why she couldn't use some other excuse to take this trip (no real background or foundation laid). Given the simple fact that she can't tell him the truth would make his answer seem like a no brainer. No truth, no trust, no marriage.

Is there going to be a part two

Truly irritating. Stupid premise to these stories; the husband is a pussy. "NO! I do not give you permission to go on a secret week-end trip. If you do, you will irreparably damage this marriage and we will get divorced." That's it, it's over, one way or the other. Why indulge such a stupid request? And if she dared to say, "Don't you trust me?" the answer clearly is "NO!"

1* Uninteresting, cardboard characters, especially the wife, ridiculous premise to story, and already about 6000 words longer than it should be. Post a sequel or don't; I won't be reading it if you do.

Got my interest of course.

I would simply divorce because I refuse to go through life with a wife that keeps so much from me.

Looking forward to more.

How many parts are there going to be to this story? Is part two going to rehash this whole story? I feel like you're a writer for network television. Intro, commercial break, recap intro, introduce the first challenge, commercial break, recap first challenge, preview of the next episode...

Why say one thing when ten can say it as well. Too drawn out

This is the same as your last story which is stupid. This reminds me not to bother reading your story because it's waste of time

My answer the first night would have been I need the full story. Without the full story the decision is up to her as it is not my job to control her but plan to be served with divorce papers when you return - if the lawyers could move fast enough and I got no further information about the trip and the plans I might have had her served before she went. I would have slept in a different bed if one was available and I would see a lawyer as soon as possible. Just for asking and being so secretive is probably enough reason to end the marriage.

Come on why make part of a story this long ? Just post it complete

So far so good but long winded. I agree with Harga and Tajfa.... Dave is giving Bea enough rope to hang herself. Dave hasn't asked the big question since Bea isn't likely to answer about his concerns. She is hiding something and keeping it her secret. Is there someone else involved, sure there is. What exactly is in the suitcase she has locked up? If she wants to keep her marriage, she better open up the case of start answering his questions/concerns. But apparently, her vacation away from hubby, is more important than her marriage... The next chapter, hopefully, will answer some questions... Good job, keeping us wanting more. 4 stars

Is it better to ask for forgiveness, or to ask for permission. She hasn't thought this through. There will be consequences either way. Trust is about to fly out the window.

Good writing, bad editing. Not copy editing, the grammar and spelling are fine but top editing, the recognition that the plot was very repetitive. This story circled the same ground over and over, saying the same thing just with different words.

I’ll stick with it, I want to know what happens, but this is going to be one of those LW stories that could have been told in half the words, and been stronger for it.

I don't know what's going on with recent authors but there's a shit load putting stories out that are just word generators - words just to make the story longer in my opinion or to piss readers off. The one earlier in the year about the female astronaut, currently Les Hommes, and this story. I'm giving them all 1* because they're not entertaining - they're irritating and repetitive as one commenter has already stated.

three things,

one not long enough to justify splitting it,

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two no one likes an unreliable narrator, this is being told from the POV of the wife, which means the wife knows what she is planning, yet despite knowing what she is planning never ever thinks about it at any time for any reason - make it third person, otherwise it is unnatural to get some but not all of what she is thinking

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given how often the site holds up publishing a story for one reason or another submitting them day after day is no more or less a guarantee of proper sterilization that posting them all at once

I will try to be kind but:

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- Story is hard to read, maybe because it is just going around in circles for two pages.

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- Dragging the conversation/decision out a week does not add dramatic effect. It just drags things out.

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- He is suppose to trust her. Yet she can't trust him with basic information. Certainly implies that he can't trust her.

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- Hardly rocket science: If she can't tell him then the answer is "No". She gave him that power, so use it.

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- Lock luggage is not exactly Fort Knox.

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- Sex and meal bribery comes off kind of lame given the circumstances.

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So on balance, I have to rate the story 2 star caliber.

Up coming chapters will be more or the same of this whirly jig. The couple just spinning around this conflict over and over.

The author does have a knack for keeping you hooked hoping for a nice fix, but after the initial high you are usually left with emptiness.

So gonna have to skim over many more chapters rereading chapter 1 over and over before it comes to another muddled conclusion

Got it.

What was the point of it? If there's more to come then why not say so?

Not bad...but, I detest unfinished business.

I think the writer does not know what he is writing, its just jumbled up writing wont be bothered about any other chapters that's swirling around in his brain.

I hope there is a part 2! Don't leave us hanging.

To return to a saying from my youth: “just say ‘no’.” What husband would manufacture all this drama this way?

You did it again.

Wonderful writing, but a main character who talks, talks, talks and talks, but does not act.

So unreal.

What a shame - you hot good ideas!

What point was being made. A constant plea to be patient and trust; but never an answer to why? Will there be another chapter?

Might think about putting "chapter xx" in the title, that way no one will have to read these tiny snippets of writing until they're all posted. You used three pages to tell something that could have been told in half a page. "He's so mad. She feels so bad, but she just HAS to..." There. All done. Except you said that 943 times. The other stories actually went somewhere.

Incomplete

You build up a mountain of suspense. I'm not optimistic, but I'm curious enough, and still hope you can present a solution worth the heartbreak, i.e. where I would NOT just think 'stupid girl' in the end.

I don't doubt your writing skills, they're really great. Just that your storylines or story arcs in your other works, which I mostly liked, where not always par with your wonderful talent in word weaving. And please overdo it. ;-)

5 stars so far.

That's a lot...

...of talk without saying anything. To be fair I ended up super skimming hoping to get to some meat. Maybe I missed something brilliant.

So she wants to be with a girl. Thats cheating. End of marriage. Split the assets and start over thanks for nothing to another cheater.

Go ahead with the next chapter, but Dave should just lay his wedding ring on the table and tell her that as soon as she walks out the door he will pack and be gone. The divorce will comence.