All Comments on 'No Release'

Very well written. I hope there'll be a sequel...maybe many.

Thanks! I'm working on a longer piece that will include a variation of this scene.

As Submisky35 noted, you write well and I enjoyed the D/s play. The editor in me can't resist noting that, while 2nd person POV is a tempting way to write fantasies, readers may find it easier to slip into the story with 1st and 3rd person POVs. I suggest you give 1st or 3rd person POV a try. But whichever you choose, by all means continue writing.

Thanks visioneer, that's great feedback. This was probably my first piece of fiction since elementary school and was written on a whim so I'm very open to constructive criticism! The story I'm working on now is 1st person POV.