Nordberry Nosh

I had to laugh a little and ask, "Do I dare ask?"

"Not right now you don't, just run with it. I'm not telling you until later anyway. That's in my plan, too. I want this, I want this now, and I love you too damn much to have this come between us, us NOT having done it, any more. I want to be able to tackle you. A lot."

She was grinning in the dark (my night light was meager but it got that much).

Her hands guided me up and over her, and I lay partially on my side on her to get positioned, but she was not shy from the process.

Her hand guided me, too, and she said (once we were sort-of ready), "In, up steady and not slamming, but not slow. Then, wait a minute, and I'll tell you when to go again. Mom said that was the best way."

So, I thought, 'Julie's mom wasn't the only one who consulted.' This idea of talking about it with her mom? I never would have talked over with my mom about this kind of thing. Considering it, though, I probably could have, I guess... yeah, she would have probably had good advice, but I'd just not asked. Guys have different rules.

Her hands pulled at my lower back, her legs were wrapped around outside mine, and she said, "Kevin. Now."

"I thought you were going to say something like, 'Ravish me you incorrigible knave, you', but if you just want to say 'now', I guess..."

My silliness and happy idea was interrupted.

She bent up and kissed me, and asked in a meek voice, "Kevin? My entire existence is focused on you, and Right Now. It has been for weeks! Please, please! Just ... be With Me? Now, tell me what you're feeling - tell me everything. And do. Do... ME."

I said, "With this, Annabelle (her full name), know, I love you." I pushed in, just like she said, up and in, and beautiful. There was a resistance and a burst thru, but not much, and while she did cry out, it wasn't that loud, and only a few moments later, she grabbed my head with both hands and started kissing my whole face and starting to cry.

There wasn't much to do but kiss back where I could, wait, and be there with her.

I shifted, and found the friction beauteous, and started pumping a little, though she hadn't told me to start, it kind of was implied in how she was kissing me, so I went with it.

Up and in, resting my chest on her prodigious boobage, a soft cushion for me to be on while I moved, and she moved under me.

On we moved, slow and steady, her kissing having given way to delighted whimpers.

Her affirming words, strung together, urged me on, told me to glide, yes, glide in, yes...

"Commmmiiinnnnnnnggggg! Nrnnrrrrrrrrgggg!!!!" (okay, that's an approximate spelling).

I was coming, coming in her and feeling her, and still she pulled me closer in a hug, wanting and affirming me more with each muscle-pull on my chest to get me in farther, too.

To say it was otherwise 'normal' would be accurate, but the emotions that go with this kind of thing are not 'normal'.

I slowed down, and then had to stop, and I was going to pull out to roll off, but she stopped me and said, "You feel that?"

Of course I did, she was doing some keigel thing to purposefully clench on me. "Yeah! That's really nice!" (it was).

"Good." She seemed satisfied.

I lay there a little longer, and she patted me, "Okay, off now." and I did.

She immediately had me lie next to her and sucked the cum off my cock, before coming to lie beside me, pulling up the covers. "Now. It's 4:15. You've said you normally get up at 5:30... but I'm going to keep you awake a while, because we need to talk, and it has to be now."

"Uh, okay?"

"So. Some very odd things have been happening to me, and I have to make sure you know about them. I talked with Julie some, and the others, we've been in a group chat, and we've gotten together about this stuff, but you need to know. I missed my period last week. I haven't had sex with you, I haven't had sex with anyone yet. Way I figured it, maybe the timing was off. But, I'm on the pill. Timing is not... negotiable."

I was worried, for her, medically. I said, "Oh... Okay?"

"I was going to chalk it up to chance or stress, it's been known to happen. But there's another factor. I haven't talked about this with anyone else, I'm going to tell you now. You'd better keep your damn mouth shut, I love you, but you'd better prove your character here and stay quiet, I'm gonna clue you in, I have to know I can trust you. Honest, solemn, real, committed oath time, silence. You agree?"

I thought for a moment and said, "I agree. What's ...?"

"For the past 3 weeks, I've been having dreams, vivid ones, of having sex, of living with you on a farm, having goats and chickens and, of all things, llamas! On that farm, with you, we're ... not alone. We're a family, but the house is immense, it's just... it keeps going. It's like, farmland, open fields but with some hills and trees, but mostly alone. Got it?"

"Okay?"

"In this dream, there are kids. Lots of kids, they're everywhere. I know, in this dream, they're mine, and not mine, and yours, and not ours, and there's other ... farm wives there, in this house-place, a set of cottages? It changes."

I was nodding.

"Silence on this, got it?!? So far? Not done, but ...got it so far?"

"Yes?"

"Sometimes this dream is so real, I can ... be sitting in class, and know it. FEEL it, it's the truth, it's already happened, will happen, has happened, will be happening, all that, wrapped in one. In the dream, I HAVE KIDS, and I'm pregnant again, and I know it's twins, and I love it, and I want to fill our giant house with more of them."

"Huh."

"Last week, unbidden and for no reason, Kim appeared in this dream. She's got bright freakin' red hair, right? She's not a normal person to have in my dreams, I have ZERO idea how or why, and there she is. I don't really know her, except that I think she's a nice person and compassionate and caring, and ... in that dream, she's got her boobs out, and there's a kid there, and it's my baby, my precious baby - I just know it is - and she's putting it on her boob and telling me, "Oh, don't worry, I got this."

I laughed, because her voice was kind of incredulous, like it should be funny, and she laughed with me, but not as strongly.

"And, I thought, 'hey, great, I'll get Dan, then, he's crying,' because an infant was crying."

"Oh."

"That's the dream. I don't know WHY I had this dream, but I know WHO inspired it, and that's you. Then, earlier this week, Sunday really, Monday, whatever, I get news that Kim's at your house and has food poisoning, and life starts seeming really weird."

"You think you're psychic." It wasn't a question, but it sort of was.

"I'm about as psychic as a brick, Kev. I don't know shit. Today, though, I can barely go to sleep, I'm so worked up about coming here, being on time, being ready for you, finding out what this big sex thing is all about, finally dropping that notch, checkbox, whatever, and... I'm lying there. In bed, waiting to get up, and this thought comes into my head, "I'm gonna go over and make twins."

I laughed and said, "So... Uh....?"

"I'm on the pill. When I missed my period, I just kept on taking the pills like I'm supposed to, even though they're placebos at this point in my cycle. But... you know, nervous. At the same time, the back of my brain is doing this dance around the idea that my hindbrain, my Deepest Deepest Deepest self, the part inside of me even behind the voice that's, like, my inner monologue me, that deep part, has an agenda, and it's different from everything that I know is my real agenda. My real 'life plan' I've been working towards for the last two years."

"Which is?"

"Duh! Graduate, head to Dalhousie or U Wisconsin or U Toronto for law school, get a job, wait a few years, get married, few more years, have a family, be an HR corporate counsel or something, maybe some pro-bono stuff, yeah. That. I have a plan."

"Except, you... have this Kim thing, and this house thing."

"Exactly. Exactly right. And, these thoughts that keep coming, unbidden, popping into my head, like, images of you rolling on the floor with a toddler rolling a ball back and forth, or hammering a crib together or something."

"I don't think..."

She was crying, I could tell from her voice all of a sudden, "I ___knowwww___, Kev! Just... filling my brain. Part of me, a super-super deep part, wants to be pregnant, to get pregnant, right now, right away, literally, this instant, this very moment with your cum. But, I don't want that. But I do want it. Viscerally. I love you so much! I love the musketeers. I even love Dani, who I barely knew before this, she's just an incredible person, superwoman, makes things happen."

I held her from the side, she curled up into me, and we just stayed that way.

"You don't want me to say anything, do you."

"NOT. A. Fucking. Word."

"Okay. But, let's ... have a shortcut way of talking about this, then, because I have to be able to refer to it? We have to be able to talk, later?"

She didn't say anything.

"How about, later, if I think of something relevant to you dream, I call it the... uh, SB dream, for suck-boob?"

She laughed, and cried, and laughed, into my chest, and then full out cried, sobbing.

"Are you sad about something?"

She sniffed, "I'm happy, and.. relieved. I have been so stressed about this, and haven't told anyone, at all, but I had to just... unload. I know, you're a guy, you... don't do this kind of conversation. I'm really sorry, I just didn't know who else to talk..."

"Sssshhhhh..." I kissed the top of her head since it was the closest part, "I'm here. I'm here For You, Annabelle."

"You keep calling me that. I'm Bee."

I felt cheeky so I said, "I'm naked beside you, we've just made love, for your first time ever, I'm telling you I love you in clear words, and I'm not using the same name you use at school - because I want ... something special like that, I think."

"I'll come to you, wherever you are on the planet, Kev, doesn't matter if you call me Zoro, I'll still come to you."

This reminded me of when I'd just been told that by someone else, but that's not the sort of comment to repeat.

I thanked her, and we just laid there.

Maybe a half hour later, I was still just being there and hanging out. I thought, hey, maybe we're done talking about the SB thing, maybe we can go back to being normal guy and normal girl and naked in bed and good sex and...

And, nothing. She took my hand, pulled it from her ribs down to her abdomen, then moved it down further.

I tried not to resist.

She made it rest right below her belly button. She said, "There could be something happening here, Kevin. I hope, on one level, not, on another level, it's the new focus of my existence. Whatever is or isn't happening, is happening Right Here."

There are moments of certainty that pop around in my life, times when I've known that a moment was crucial, vital to some effort, like when I sat down for taking the college tests, or before a big end-of-year track meet right at the starting line waiting for mere seconds and thinking, is this it? Is it all down to this moment? Here already?

That mood struck me. Yes, this was a moment. These few seconds counted. What I said would matter.

I said, "Annabelle. Everything about you is beautiful. Whatever you touch, or grow, around you or in you, will be beautiful, too."

That was noncommittal, I thought, to say that even if it was nothing, that'd be fine, and if it turned out to be a 'fertilization moment', there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it, so I'd best just say I'm happy about it or I'd Never Ever live it down.

Any kind of denial or disappointment or 'but what about' that I said? That'd be, at least in track and cross country, a profound self-p0wn, a 'choke', a psych-out of my own self and point of life-regret. I'd had a couple of those already, with tests I thought I was ready for, or races where I didn't think it would be bad / hard and it was and I tried and I failed.

Yet, in those, I still kept racing, since that's the game. But, her hand? Where I was, what the emotions were around what she'd just told me and done? I had to be My Best Self.

Who knows if I am, I thought. Crapshoot. Love and live and move and love deeper.

Huh.

My phone rang on my nightstand - my wake-up alarm.

We got up with kisses and tenderness, and I went in to take a quick hose-off shower, and she did the same thing right after me.

Hanging out in a house with a girl like this, whether it was Dani or Mads or Julie or Bee, or even both Jo and Kim, there were moments of 'domesticity', like Bee'd talked about, moments where I could see a far vision of things happening in the future, the path ahead.

Those moments, the fact that I was getting out of a shower and she was getting into it without shutting the water off, that sharing and economy of motion? That seemed domestic and wonderful and grown-up and playing-house and yet mundane and grocery lists and, if I really thought about it, like a clogged drain mundane happenstance or a burping the baby next-task.

Small crap like that just flashed through my head, seeing her step in the shower as I got out.

Brains are odd things.

Dressed and ready for school, we took Bee's car (she had her grandfather's old car, she said) and drove towards school - but decided on the way for a detour to the donut shop, then sat at the counter for a while watching people.

At least half the customers were students we knew. They'd drive in carpooling or not, get coffee and sweets, or stand there puzzled over whether the cruller was better than the custard-filled that day. Sometimes they'd notice us, sometimes not.

== Chapter: Back to the Grind ==

Getting back to campus and classes after a long break is always slightly surreal, because it's like you've been in one culture (home) and then all of a sudden you're in another one (college).

Even more so for me, I had to go from sleeping tons, then to making love and having a lot of naked funtime, to going back to being my student self, dragging-feet from class to class and hoping I understood everything.

Since I'd missed things, I lost out on some quiz points, but despite having a paper due that I'd missed in literature class, she didn't ask me to come forward after class or anything.

Bio I thought would be odd since we might have covered material I wasn't familiar with, but since I'd read ahead enough to have finished the entire textbook already, I was pretty sure I had that covered. Mostly the worry was about labs that I'd missed, but they'd mostly done some microscope slide things and I knew that stuff hands down.

The thing was, I kept (even still) getting looked at by people around me. They'd just turn around and just stare at me, or girls nearby daydreaming 'in my direction' sort-of.

Chorus was a huge example of this. Apparently my absence had been noticed, and when the choral director, Mrs. Stockton came in, she said, "Welcome back, Mr. Kopaire. Good to have you with us again."

Most of the chorus started clapping, so I half-stood and then sat again.

Mrs. Stockton then said, "And, now, we'll have no more looking around, he's right there. On to the Mendelssohn, first. Sopranos..."

The sopranos were still looking at me and only after being called on did they pay attention to Mrs. Stockton again.

I whispered to Jeff, a friend and fellow bass, "Dude, what's up?"

He said, "Something is up, got that right. Think somebody's trying to prank you. Girls seem to all be in on it. They keep checking out where you are, like someone's gonna come in and pour a milkshake on you or something."

"Ah."

"I got your back, though. I'd get pegged if they throw anything, too, so don't worry, gotcha covered. Gotta stick together."

A little while later, at another break, he whispered over, "Hey. If you're not, like, into somebody, send 'em my way, okay? Girls are... kinda actually into you now, I think the milkshake thing was Doug's idea of a joke."

Doug was a smartass and that made sense.

I said, "I can put in a good word, Jeff, but... your work is, you have to really listen, listen to what they're talking about.. Engage. Shut the hell up, and ask good questions. Be polite. Ethical. Attentive. They're into that."

I thought it might have been too preachy, sort of, but he accepted it and thanked me.

Later in the class, I decided to try an experiment. I leaned over and pointed to my music as if to ask a question, I said, "Jeff."

He looked over and down, and I asked, "Pretend I'm asking a question. So. You wanted help. Let's experiment. After class? I'll say, loud enough to be heard, 'Thanks for the help the other day.' You say, sure, no problem, like it was nothing, and we'll go away. I want to see if you get asked what it was."

He pointed at a section of music to keep up the ruse. "Fun! Sure. I won't overplay it, got it."

"What could it be for?"

He smiled and pointed again (uselessly) and said, "I told you how to fix a snowblower."

We moved apart, but shortly before class was done, I leaned over and said, "Not snowblower. You recommended a good date move, 'The Notebook'." I paused and added, "Watch it. If a girl wants to watch it with you, you'll need to have seen it before."

"Got it."

We did exactly that, and as I left class, I could see several girls stopped to ask him what was up.

Goooo Jeff!

At lunch, the girls and I met in the cafeteria, just like normal. Getting behind the door so no one had the angle to see in, they came in and kissed me, one and all, and we sat down pretending to be studying stuff.

Outside the door, a whole load of people were watching us.

I said, "I think it's probably best if we actually do some looking at books and work, for a while, so they think we are actually studying."

Bee agreed and we did, though Dani knocked and came in, standing in front of the window to partially block it.

She asked, "Sooooo. How's it goin'? We have some visitors today, same as yesterday."

There were some extra people sitting at the D-and-D table, girls, from Chorus, Band, and my biology class, it looked like. I asked, "What do they want?"

Dani laughed, "Dirt on you, Kev. Details. What do you like, who do you like, did you ever mention them or notice them, all that."

"I'm suddenly popular."

"You've... well, no, you've not Always been popular, but yeah this is getting out of hand."

"What are you telling them?"

She chortled, "The guys are telling D-and-D stories about how you did this or that, but, they're all putting a spin on it that they were the real heroes in the campaign and you were along for the ride. Amazing to listen to. Egomaniacs."

"Yeah." I thought about it, but had to change topic. "Dani, I have some ... ideas, we all should probably talk about our schedules, coordination, all that, but everybody needs to be there. You all, plus Mads, and Jo and Kim. Compare notes on ... next steps, maybe some other stuff. I can't tell just one of you and everyone finds out, or vice versa."

Dani nodded, "Agreed. Can't text everything. We'll have to work it out. How about we all spend the weekend... Kevin, that okay?"

"Uh... Okay?"

"Good. Bee is 3pm to 8, then Roo has overnight. Tomorrow is Mads at 3, then maybe 8 pm we all come over, group meeting?"

Everyone agreed, and Dani went to leave. Before she ducked out, she looked at me, then at the others, and said, "I'd be flashing you my boobs at you right now but that might get noticed."

We all laughed and she went back to the D-and-D table.

The rest of the day's classes were pretty normal-ish.

After school, Bee drove me straight home (got a leave from Coach 'cuz I was out) and we went inside. I'd missed a lot of track practices, I was worried I was getting soft.

Everyone was gone, so we got naked and I spent some time licking Bee with her sitting on the kitchen counter. It's fun to do things in different places.